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(CNN)   In Putin's Russia, Stars Bucks you   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Coffee, Starbucks, Coffeehouse, Espresso, Russia, Vladimir Putin, Logo, Anatoly Sobchak  
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1017 clicks; posted to Business » on 19 Aug 2022 at 11:05 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-19 11:17:01 AM  
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2022-08-19 11:33:25 AM  
Timati, one of Russia's most famous rappers, co-founded the Black Star Burger chain in Russia, which sells a "Timati Burger."

Damn. That's a lot to unpack in one sentence.
 
2022-08-19 11:36:44 AM  
Are they using the rotten beans Starbucks left behind?
 
2022-08-19 11:40:11 AM  
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2022-08-19 11:43:55 AM  
That could be an article from The Onion.
 
2022-08-19 12:02:27 PM  
They didn't go with Tsarbucks? Lame.
 
2022-08-19 1:09:41 PM  
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2022-08-19 1:25:50 PM  
Nobody strained any brain muscles on that rebranding exercise.
 
2022-08-19 1:46:16 PM  

ssaoi: Nobody strained any brain muscles on that rebranding exercise.


Actually, it did. They not only wanted to make it as obvious as possible that it's a knockoff, but something the real Starbucks could easily litigate out of existence if it showed up anywhere in the free world. Flouting the trademark is the point.
 
2022-08-19 2:20:18 PM  
I would say lets sanction anyone selling coffee beans to Russia, but it's not just shiatty Starbucks coffee, it's shiatty Russian knock off Starbucks coffee.

I can taste the charred ashes already.
 
2022-08-19 3:43:36 PM  
The secret ingredient is vodak
 
2022-08-19 3:46:59 PM  

little big man: That could be an article from The Onion.


And?  The Onion has been nonfiction since they published Dubya's Inauguration Address.  Didn't seem to have any effect on their stories.

They'll be breaking ground on the abortion-complex next to the Atlanta airport any day now (although Chicago may beat them to the punch).

/any other places with a high volume airport?
//next to deeply red states?
///and a chance to go non-gilead?  BWI and DIA aren't good airports, and mostly as far as O'hare.  Both together might make a lot of sense.
 
2022-08-19 3:49:45 PM  
Jesus.  Everything in Russia is a shiatty simulacrum of something better.

They have Stars Coffee, which looks just like Starbucks but isn't.

They have rappers, but their rappers talk about how awesome the government is.

Doesn't anyone there get that they're living in a lesser quality version of something else and that they don't have to?
 
2022-08-19 3:52:22 PM  
This is starting to concern me.  Not pseudo-Starbucks, but the general trend.

In the early 70s OPEC tried to punish America by highly restricting oil exports.  End result of that was, America experienced a few years of minor pain, but it ended up spurring America to redevelop its own oil resources and now fifty years later OPEC countries are in a far worse off position than they would have been had they been not so extreme in punishing America.

I fear if Russia is on their own with these sanctions for too long, they will be forced weed out the corruption and inefficiency that's been bogging them down.  I actually do want that to happen, a little (generally, in the long run, it's preferrable for governments to have a baseline level of competence, even if they are your adversaries, because it's easier to deal with stability than chaos) but only when there's someone relatively stable person in charge, not an insane madman like Putin.
 
2022-08-19 3:58:07 PM  
the brown, cigar-like "masculine color" in the new logo


yeeeeeaaaaahhh 'cigar' color.  i guess shiat brown is associated with men there
 
2022-08-19 4:05:37 PM  
Enjoy your Levinov jeans and your Adodie shoes ya farkin' wankstains.
 
2022-08-19 4:13:52 PM  

SumoJeb: Enjoy your Levinov jeans and your Adodie shoes ya farkin' wankstains.


that knockoff track suit better be good enough for the gopnik.  need a new flat cap supplier too
 
2022-08-19 4:15:51 PM  
It's almost as if, for the last, I don't know, forever, Russia has never innovated a damn thing besides Vodka sad music, and has been looking towards the Dutch and English for maritime prowess, the French for culture, the Germans for political ideology, and most recently, the Americans for just about everything.

Interestingly, I used to think I was part Polish. But one of my Polish side Uncles did a DNA thingamabob and turns out, that Polish is actually Russian.

Which, if one knows the history, isn't a stretch. From Catherine the Great to the Treaty of Versailles, Poland was Russian territory.

Don't tell Pooty Poot.
 
2022-08-19 4:34:55 PM  
They say they were able to source beans but I believe they probably use Baldrick's coffee recipes:
Blackadder | Mud For Coffee | BritBox
Youtube _CtdYqVK_R4
 
2022-08-19 4:56:49 PM  

H31N0US: It's almost as if, for the last, I don't know, forever, Russia has never innovated a damn thing besides Vodka sad music, and has been looking towards the Dutch and English for maritime prowess, the French for culture, the Germans for political ideology, and most recently, the Americans for just about everything.

Interestingly, I used to think I was part Polish. But one of my Polish side Uncles did a DNA thingamabob and turns out, that Polish is actually Russian.

Which, if one knows the history, isn't a stretch. From Catherine the Great to the Treaty of Versailles, Poland was Russian territory.

Don't tell Pooty Poot.


It's kind of the same thing, polish russian border has been fluid over the years. Depends which day they were born in
 
2022-08-19 5:13:10 PM  

InfoFreako: They didn't go with Tsarbucks? Lame.


Missed a chance to use the Che Guevarra image in the logo as well.
 
2022-08-19 5:15:31 PM  

Flowery Twats: InfoFreako: They didn't go with Tsarbucks? Lame.

Missed a chance to use the Che Guevarra image in the logo as well.


Nah, Rasputin. The puns literally write themselves, like they should in Russia.
 
2022-08-19 5:16:21 PM  

EnderWiggnz: H31N0US: It's almost as if, for the last, I don't know, forever, Russia has never innovated a damn thing besides Vodka sad music, and has been looking towards the Dutch and English for maritime prowess, the French for culture, the Germans for political ideology, and most recently, the Americans for just about everything.

Interestingly, I used to think I was part Polish. But one of my Polish side Uncles did a DNA thingamabob and turns out, that Polish is actually Russian.

Which, if one knows the history, isn't a stretch. From Catherine the Great to the Treaty of Versailles, Poland was Russian territory.

Don't tell Pooty Poot.

It's kind of the same thing, polish russian border has been fluid over the years. Depends which day they were born in


My wife's Polish heritage came out that way as well
 
2022-08-19 5:40:08 PM  
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2022-08-19 6:35:27 PM  
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2022-08-19 8:22:14 PM  

AtomicBanana: Flowery Twats: InfoFreako: They didn't go with Tsarbucks? Lame.

Missed a chance to use the Che Guevarra image in the logo as well.

Nah, Rasputin. The puns literally write themselves, like they should in Russia.


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2022-08-19 9:19:30 PM  
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2022-08-19 9:39:30 PM  

Sonnuvah: [Fark user image image 425x318]


That episode was beyond amazing.
 
2022-08-19 11:52:11 PM  
Being that STARRY is the word for OLD in Russian, I think people will not be appreciating drinking OLD coffee for very long.
 
2022-08-20 11:45:00 AM  
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