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(Punch)   The dirty martini craze is the latest in a long line of horrific experiments whereby terrible drinks are constructed with absurd ingredients and fraudulently marketed as "martinis"   (punchdrink.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Brine, Cocktail, Vinegar, olive brine, dirty Martini, Pickling, Martini, Cider  
•       •       •

487 clicks; posted to Food » on 19 Aug 2022 at 4:10 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-19 4:27:15 AM  
dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.
 
2022-08-19 4:52:14 AM  

chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.


"...vodka..." There's your problem.
 
2022-08-19 5:16:38 AM  
I would like to congratulate the author for finally going to a real grown up bar. I know it's shocking when you first hear someone order a real mixed drink.  Dirty martinis have been around for at least a hundred years.
 
2022-08-19 6:33:21 AM  

chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


There's no vodka in martinis.

James Bond ordered his public drinks that way so they were flavorless in order to taste any potential poisons.
 
2022-08-19 6:48:59 AM  
This sh*t headline almost hid a sort of oddly fascinating article about how barkeeps have dealt with that problem.  Kinda funny that changing olive brands can ruin your day if you're regularly making cocktails because different brands have different levels of "stuff floating in there."

And stop calling things a "craze" because you just happened to have just heard of it.
 
2022-08-19 7:38:20 AM  

leeksfromchichis: chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 335x319]

There's no vodka in martinis.

James Bond ordered his public drinks that way so they were flavorless in order to taste any potential poisons.


So blue cheese stuffed olives in the martini was niche. I loved it. But dirty martinis have been around long before author found out.
 
2022-08-19 7:44:43 AM  
Dirty martinis are a thing that should have been a craze, popularized only because it was a stupid internet trend or because people were challenging others to do it or because someone said it in a movie and sounded cool.

They're f*cking disgusting and taste like drinking olive oil. Maybe that's a Popeye or Brutus fetish, but humans shouldn't be into it.
 
2022-08-19 7:55:19 AM  
The secret to a good martini is good gin (Hendrix, Vikre), a well chilled glass, and a generous amount of ice in the shaker. Dry vermouth, but not much, and don't get anything expensive. Olives, well of course, but get good ones and consider rinsing them off. If you can find them Gordal olives are the best.

Gin and tonic is like a martini. If you get good gin, use cheap tonic. No need to spend extra. Likewise, if you have really good tonic, use pedestrian (not cheap) gin. No point in trying to get too fancy. You lose the character of the gin or the tonic.
 
2022-08-19 8:24:15 AM  
Gibson > Martini and I will die on this hill.
 
2022-08-19 8:36:49 AM  

krebshack: Gibson > Martini and I will die on this hill.


Are you an ogre?
 
2022-08-19 9:03:25 AM  
I remember dirty martinis being a thing in the early 90s, probably due to the whole Swingers phenomenon.

So they're back, eh?
 
2022-08-19 9:16:25 AM  

Maturin: The secret to a good martini is good gin (Hendrix, Vikre), a well chilled glass, and a generous amount of ice in the shaker. Dry vermouth, but not much, and don't get anything expensive. Olives, well of course, but get good ones and consider rinsing them off. If you can find them Gordal olives are the best.

Gin and tonic is like a martini. If you get good gin, use cheap tonic. No need to spend extra. Likewise, if you have really good tonic, use pedestrian (not cheap) gin. No point in trying to get too fancy. You lose the character of the gin or the tonic.


Why would you ruin a good ingredient by mixing it with a cheap one? I mean, I get not wanting to overwhelm the star of a drink, but what you're describing sounds a lot like buying really good prosciutto and insisting it be served on Wonder Bread. Moreover, outside of a few specialty vermouths and tonics, there isn't much threat of a well-made, relatively expensive* version drowning out the flavor of most any gin.** If anything, they tend to do a better job of complementing the gin's flavor.

* Most tonics and vermouths, even the more expensive ones, don't tend to be particularly expensive anyway.
** This isn't to say that some vermouths or tonics won't go better with particular gins. That depends on the flavor profiles. But in general, you're not going to go wrong mixing most decent gins with most decent dry vermouths, provided you know how to properly make a martini or gin and tonic (not that I know many people who can't make a gin and tonic... though they sadly exist).
 
2022-08-19 9:17:17 AM  

FlashHarry: I remember dirty martinis being a thing in the early 90s, probably due to the whole Swingers phenomenon.

So they're back, eh?


Yeah. I was drinking them in college in the late 90s, and they were nearly a hundred years old then.
 
2022-08-19 9:31:32 AM  
got a martini last week with anchovy stuffed olives.

Oh gods that was heavenly. I love anchovies, I love olives, I love gin. So this was the chocolate chip cookie of getting blatto.
 
2022-08-19 9:33:59 AM  

leeksfromchichis: chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 335x319]

There's no vodka in martinis.

James Bond ordered his public drinks that way so they were flavorless in order to taste any potential poisons.


Please do not violate the Fark Martini Accords of 2008, in which it was decided that (a) gin martinis are "martinis" (b) martinis made with vodka are "vodka martinis" and (c) anything else is a "drink in a martini glass."

Many Bothans died of cirrhosis to bring us this consensus.
 
2022-08-19 9:36:29 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: leeksfromchichis: chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 335x319]

There's no vodka in martinis.

James Bond ordered his public drinks that way so they were flavorless in order to taste any potential poisons.

Please do not violate the Fark Martini Accords of 2008, in which it was decided that (a) gin martinis are "martinis" (b) martinis made with vodka are "vodka martinis" and (c) anything else is a "drink in a martini glass."

Many Bothans died of cirrhosis to bring us this consensus.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-19 9:38:47 AM  

middleoftheday: And stop calling things a "craze" because you just happened to have just heard of it.


First line of article:

The Dirty Martini's skyrocketing appeal has led bartenders to hack-and ultimately improve upon-its signature "dirty" component. Here's how to do it at home.

Something can become a craze despite having been around forever. See also: nearly ever other cocktail ever invented.
 
2022-08-19 10:04:09 AM  

wiredroach: middleoftheday: And stop calling things a "craze" because you just happened to have just heard of it.

First line of article:

The Dirty Martini's skyrocketing appeal has led bartenders to hack-and ultimately improve upon-its signature "dirty" component. Here's how to do it at home.

Something can become a craze despite having been around forever. See also: nearly ever other cocktail ever invented.


Yup. They go in cycles as far as national media attention and may or may not go in cycles in your region. Old Fashioneds never went out of style here in Wisconsin. They are an ingrained part of our supper club culture and are mostly made with brandy and 7-Up (aka :sweet"). I am waiting for the gimlet to become a big thing. Has been my favorite cocktail since the '70's.
 
2022-08-19 10:09:41 AM  

Maturin: The secret to a good martini is good gin (Hendrix, Vikre), a well chilled glass, and a generous amount of ice in the shaker. Dry vermouth, but not much, and don't get anything expensive. Olives, well of course, but get good ones and consider rinsing them off. If you can find them Gordal olives are the best.

Gin and tonic is like a martini. If you get good gin, use cheap tonic. No need to spend extra. Likewise, if you have really good tonic, use pedestrian (not cheap) gin. No point in trying to get too fancy. You lose the character of the gin or the tonic.


 Hendricks? Gin purists scoff at your cucumber liquor. I do enjoy it but for a martini I much prefer a London dry.
 
2022-08-19 10:59:59 AM  

FlashHarry: I remember dirty martinis being a thing in the early 90s, probably due to the whole Swingers phenomenon.

So they're back, eh?


They never went away. Not at my house, anyways.
 
2022-08-19 12:00:42 PM  

Maturin: The secret to a good martini is good gin (Hendrix, Vikre), a well chilled glass, and a generous amount of ice in the shaker. Dry vermouth, but not much, and don't get anything expensive. Olives, well of course, but get good ones and consider rinsing them off. If you can find them Gordal olives are the best.

Gin and tonic is like a martini. If you get good gin, use cheap tonic. No need to spend extra. Likewise, if you have really good tonic, use pedestrian (not cheap) gin. No point in trying to get too fancy. You lose the character of the gin or the tonic.


I like my martinis made with good dry gin, lillet blanc instead of vermouth, and a lemon twist.
 
2022-08-19 2:12:05 PM  

saintstryfe: got a martini last week with anchovy stuffed olives.

Oh gods that was heavenly. I love anchovies, I love olives, I love gin. So this was the chocolate chip cookie of getting blatto.


Omg I would have made out with that drink.
 
2022-08-19 2:54:12 PM  

rosekolodny: saintstryfe: got a martini last week with anchovy stuffed olives.

Oh gods that was heavenly. I love anchovies, I love olives, I love gin. So this was the chocolate chip cookie of getting blatto.

Omg I would have made out with that drink.


unspeakable things were done to that martini glass. Oh oh - and it was perfectly dry. Not the Churchill "cold glass of gin while looking at a bottle of vermooth" thing some people do, but nothing even close to cloying. Nope, just right. Best drink I've had in a gods age.
 
2022-08-19 3:00:56 PM  

krebshack: Gibson > Martini and I will die on this hill.


Hell, yeah.
Gin? Onions.
Vodka? Olives.

/or a twist of lemon
 
2022-08-19 4:36:11 PM  
Olives stuffed with jalapeno. Amazing in a martini. And not even remotely dry. If i wanted cold gin, I'd ask for cold gin.

Trust me on the jalapeno thing, though. Wakes up the palette.
 
2022-08-19 4:42:06 PM  

FlashHarry: I remember dirty martinis being a thing in the early 90s, probably due to the whole Swingers phenomenon.

So they're back, eh?


I was pounding them down in grad school circa 2008-2010
 
2022-08-19 4:44:00 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: leeksfromchichis: chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 335x319]

There's no vodka in martinis.

James Bond ordered his public drinks that way so they were flavorless in order to taste any potential poisons.

Please do not violate the Fark Martini Accords of 2008, in which it was decided that (a) gin martinis are "martinis" (b) martinis made with vodka are "vodka martinis" and (c) anything else is a "drink in a martini glass."

Many Bothans died of cirrhosis to bring us this consensus.


Huh. Well someone should dig up those dead Bothans and tell them they were farking wrong.

/I keed
//vodka ferda
 
2022-08-19 5:10:41 PM  
Dirty martinis suck.

Gin, vermouth, ice, stir, strain, olive

Skip the vermouth
 
2022-08-19 5:45:47 PM  

leeksfromchichis: chucknasty: dirty martinis are best martinis. I ask for three olives because I like olives. adding the juice just makes it olivier.
if I just wanted vodka I would order that.
don't get me started on old fashions.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 335x319]

There's no vodka in martinis.

James Bond ordered his public drinks that way so they were flavorless in order to taste any potential poisons.


Yah baby

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-19 6:03:51 PM  
Vodak + pickle juice = Juicy Goosey. Sublime.
 
2022-08-19 6:05:10 PM  
Ridiculous.

A Dirty Martini is your preferred liquor/vermouth proportions and garnished with black olives instead of green ones.  The only brine that hit the drink was what was coating the olives. (And that was enough).
 
2022-08-19 6:50:56 PM  
I have recently acquired a taste for dry martinis with anchovy stuffed olives. A bit of the brine sinks to the bottom and provides a tasty signal that it's time to make a second martini:)
 
2022-08-19 7:59:49 PM  
I'm such an oddball.  I love martinis, but hate olives.  Once in a while, I do the lemon twist thing, but that's a lot of work to cut the lemon peel just right.
 
2022-08-19 8:39:22 PM  

catmandu: wiredroach: middleoftheday: And stop calling things a "craze" because you just happened to have just heard of it.

First line of article:

The Dirty Martini's skyrocketing appeal has led bartenders to hack-and ultimately improve upon-its signature "dirty" component. Here's how to do it at home.

Something can become a craze despite having been around forever. See also: nearly ever other cocktail ever invented.

Yup. They go in cycles as far as national media attention and may or may not go in cycles in your region. Old Fashioneds never went out of style here in Wisconsin. They are an ingrained part of our supper club culture and are mostly made with brandy and 7-Up (aka :sweet"). I am waiting for the gimlet to become a big thing. Has been my favorite cocktail since the '70's.


I don't know what that is, but it's as much an Old Fashioned as a chocotini is a martini.
 
2022-08-19 9:15:34 PM  
Speaking of Gin. I'm not usually a Hendricks woman but I like to try new things. This was released this week so I picked up a bottle today:

https://www.hendricksgin.com/ca/en_CA/hendricks-neptunia/

Vaguely citrusy and like a fresh breeze off the water on a cold day on the nose. Whoa. Weirdness. Ah there's the Rose. Finished with like, key lime citrus. This is meant for an arsenic and old lace style cocktail. Would pair well with creme de violette (store was out).

Don't put an olive in this. Far too Sweet and floral.
 
2022-08-19 10:18:40 PM  
When I was bartending, if somebody asked for a dirty martini I would ask "how dirty?"

For the adventurous, I would muddle an olive with some brine and use that in the martini. Made it muddy.

I don't drink martinis. But I would have made them however someone wanted them, no matter how godawful it seemed.
 
2022-08-19 10:44:17 PM  

catchow: Vodak + pickle juice = Juicy Goosey. Sublime.


There is the reference to "pickle" flavor, except I totally don't buy it......YUCK
 
2022-08-20 12:04:31 AM  

waffledonkey: catchow: Vodak + pickle juice = Juicy Goosey. Sublime.

There is the reference to "pickle" flavor, except I totally don't buy it......YUCK


In Canada, losers drink something called "a pickle back". Which is whiskey (NOT SCOTCH) followed by a shot of pickle juice.
 
2022-08-20 8:41:15 AM  

talkyournonsense: waffledonkey: catchow: Vodak + pickle juice = Juicy Goosey. Sublime.

There is the reference to "pickle" flavor, except I totally don't buy it......YUCK

In Canada, losers drink something called "a pickle back". Which is whiskey (NOT SCOTCH) followed by a shot of pickle juice.


I'm a loser.

It's like the lime, tequila, salt thing. The acid and salt make a nice contrast to the liquor.
 
2022-08-20 10:38:46 AM  

austerity101: catmandu: wiredroach: middleoftheday: And stop calling things a "craze" because you just happened to have just heard of it.

First line of article:

The Dirty Martini's skyrocketing appeal has led bartenders to hack-and ultimately improve upon-its signature "dirty" component. Here's how to do it at home.

Something can become a craze despite having been around forever. See also: nearly ever other cocktail ever invented.

Yup. They go in cycles as far as national media attention and may or may not go in cycles in your region. Old Fashioneds never went out of style here in Wisconsin. They are an ingrained part of our supper club culture and are mostly made with brandy and 7-Up (aka :sweet"). I am waiting for the gimlet to become a big thing. Has been my favorite cocktail since the '70's.

I don't know what that is, but it's as much an Old Fashioned as a chocotini is a martini.


I was reading something recently about Wisconsin and Old Fashioneds and how the default recipe for that drink is basically unrecognizable as to what the rest of the drinking world considers an "Old Fashioned."

Maybe it needs som rebranding. "Cheesehead Old Fashioned" or "Fashionable Badger," something like that.
 
2022-08-20 11:43:38 AM  

Darth Funjamin: austerity101: catmandu: wiredroach: middleoftheday: And stop calling things a "craze" because you just happened to have just heard of it.

First line of article:

The Dirty Martini's skyrocketing appeal has led bartenders to hack-and ultimately improve upon-its signature "dirty" component. Here's how to do it at home.

Something can become a craze despite having been around forever. See also: nearly ever other cocktail ever invented.

Yup. They go in cycles as far as national media attention and may or may not go in cycles in your region. Old Fashioneds never went out of style here in Wisconsin. They are an ingrained part of our supper club culture and are mostly made with brandy and 7-Up (aka :sweet"). I am waiting for the gimlet to become a big thing. Has been my favorite cocktail since the '70's.

I don't know what that is, but it's as much an Old Fashioned as a chocotini is a martini.

I was reading something recently about Wisconsin and Old Fashioneds and how the default recipe for that drink is basically unrecognizable as to what the rest of the drinking world considers an "Old Fashioned."

Maybe it needs som rebranding. "Cheesehead Old Fashioned" or "Fashionable Badger," something like that.


Wisconsin Old Fashioned:
1 orange slice
1 maraschino cherry + 1 teaspoon cherry juice
1 sugar cube
4 - 6 dashes Angostura bitters
1 1/2 ounces brandy
Lemon-lime soda

Classic Old Fashioned:
2 teaspoons simple syrup (or 1 cube sugar and 1 tsp water
2 dashes bitters
1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger bourbon whiskey
1 slice orange
1 maraschino cherry

Only difference I see, besides the booze used, is the Wisconsin one uses a little more bitters plus a splash of lemon lime soda.
 
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