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(Lifehacker)   Furiously submitted without comment:   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Masturbation, Emotion, Sexual intercourse, Human sexuality, WANT, Sexual arousal, Human sexual behavior, sexual desire  
•       •       •

928 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 18 Aug 2022 at 11:50 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



25 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-18 8:48:12 AM  
"While"
 
2022-08-18 9:17:46 AM  
*shrug*

I've never heard that piece of advice before, but I guess it couldn't hurt.
 
2022-08-18 9:32:50 AM  
That is the saddest advice ever.
 
2022-08-18 10:36:58 AM  

Lambskincoat: That is the saddest advice ever.


Is this a challenge? Because I can think of way sadder.
 
2022-08-18 10:37:41 AM  
It's best to masturbate before any decision involving the sex of your desire. We are a stew of chemicals, it's best to clear the mating ones out of your brain before you decide to give that stripper $1,000.
 
2022-08-18 10:46:58 AM  
Like... waaaaaaaaaay  sadder.

Like when someone's constantly horny in a sexless marriage and they genuinely love their partner but the partner is in an asexual slump and merely talking about the lack of sex gets them all stressed out?

Read this for sadder

Because her advice was to potentially upend his marriage so that he could enjoy work.

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 11:56:29 AM  
Seinfeld - George doesn't have sex
Youtube MvfZnCNFPJQ
 
2022-08-18 12:04:18 PM  
Today's 'lifewhack' - er - um -....
 
2022-08-18 12:24:46 PM  
Theres Something About Mary (1998) "Clean the pipes"
Youtube 9p3j294sqM8

NSFW language
 
2022-08-18 12:47:57 PM  

vudukungfu: "While"


Can't decide if "smart" or "funny", so... Why not BOTH!
 
2022-08-18 1:05:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


With all due respect I think farkers need to calm the fark down
 
2022-08-18 2:02:25 PM  

PartTimeBuddha: [Fark user image 850x512]

With all due respect I think farkers need to calm the fark down


just 30 seconds more..
 
2022-08-18 2:26:01 PM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: Like... waaaaaaaaaay  sadder.

Like when someone's constantly horny in a sexless marriage and they genuinely love their partner but the partner is in an asexual slump and merely talking about the lack of sex gets them all stressed out?

Read this for sadder

Because her advice was to potentially upend his marriage so that he could enjoy work.

[c.tenor.com image 370x208]


Been there.  It eventually got better (though better is relative.)
 
2022-08-18 3:05:34 PM  

BMFPitt: better is relative


SoThatsHowItIs.jpg
 
2022-08-18 3:07:34 PM  

Kegovitch: PartTimeBuddha: [Fark user image 850x512]

With all due respect I think farkers need to calm the fark down

just 30 seconds more..


Kleenex outside your door and we shall never speak of this again
 
2022-08-18 3:08:04 PM  
post-nut clarity is as close to a clear mind most of us come to.

/heh
 
2022-08-18 4:41:54 PM  

The_EliteOne: post-nut clarity is as close to a clear mind most of us come to.

/heh


Yeah but falling asleep after isn't good when you're driving on the freeway.
 
2022-08-18 4:43:20 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: The_EliteOne: post-nut clarity is as close to a clear mind most of us come to.

/heh

Yeah but falling asleep after isn't good when you're driving on the freeway.


Ehhh....

It feels right.
 
2022-08-18 5:05:08 PM  
Good idea but don't try that when you're in a meeting at work, trust me.
 
2022-08-18 8:19:28 PM  

BMFPitt: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: Like... waaaaaaaaaay  sadder.

Like when someone's constantly horny in a sexless marriage and they genuinely love their partner but the partner is in an asexual slump and merely talking about the lack of sex gets them all stressed out?

Read this for sadder

Because her advice was to potentially upend his marriage so that he could enjoy work.

[c.tenor.com image 370x208]

Been there.  It eventually got better (though better is relative.)


In that boat right now, not sure how it will get better.
I know a friend with an onlyfans who will snap me exclusive content for a bit of cash. Been tempted to ask for more but my rule is to never reach out and ask when I'm horny or drunk.  Good decisions are not made at those times.
 
2022-08-18 10:28:18 PM  

darkman2000: In that boat right now, not sure how it will get better.
I know a friend with an onlyfans who will snap me exclusive content for a bit of cash. Been tempted to ask for more but my rule is to never reach out and ask when I'm horny or drunk.  Good decisions are not made at those times.


My wife never had an especially high sex drive to begin with, but it seemed to get cut in half with each kid, and after the third we probably had sex maybe 15-20 times in the next 3 years.

And except for maybe one or twice a year it was just completely empty missionary where she didn't move a muscle or make a sound.

Then the occasional outrage if I didn't sufficiently hide my disappointment, or actually tried to talk about it.

Got slightly better for a few years, but only on terms of frequency.

Then pay January or so, Bridgerton came out on Netflix and she had a week where she was absolutely insatiable.  Maybe 4 times the first night.  It was the only time in my life I wasn't sure if I could keep up.  She was an active participant, and was actually enjoying it.  Probably half of the sex that she's initiated in our 15 years together happened in that one week.  The only thing that compared to it was the weekend when she went off the pill when we were trying for it first kid.

Now the thing to realize about that particular show is that the main plotline is about the main character tricking her husband into getting her pregnant, so you can probably see where this is going.

She miscarried after a month or so (she was almost 40 at the time) and then demanded that I replace it.  I was told that my opinion on the matter was not of interest to her.  I got snipped without telling her.  We are now back to something between the not as bad times and the pre-Bridgerton status quo.  It's proudly been about 3 weeks since the last time.
 
2022-08-19 2:00:42 AM  
Wash your hands first.
 
2022-08-19 11:15:05 AM  

BMFPitt: darkman2000: In that boat right now, not sure how it will get better.
I know a friend with an onlyfans who will snap me exclusive content for a bit of cash. Been tempted to ask for more but my rule is to never reach out and ask when I'm horny or drunk.  Good decisions are not made at those times.

My wife never had an especially high sex drive to begin with, but it seemed to get cut in half with each kid, and after the third we probably had sex maybe 15-20 times in the next 3 years.

And except for maybe one or twice a year it was just completely empty missionary where she didn't move a muscle or make a sound.

Then the occasional outrage if I didn't sufficiently hide my disappointment, or actually tried to talk about it.

Got slightly better for a few years, but only on terms of frequency.

Then pay January or so, Bridgerton came out on Netflix and she had a week where she was absolutely insatiable.  Maybe 4 times the first night.  It was the only time in my life I wasn't sure if I could keep up.  She was an active participant, and was actually enjoying it.  Probably half of the sex that she's initiated in our 15 years together happened in that one week.  The only thing that compared to it was the weekend when she went off the pill when we were trying for it first kid.

Now the thing to realize about that particular show is that the main plotline is about the main character tricking her husband into getting her pregnant, so you can probably see where this is going.

She miscarried after a month or so (she was almost 40 at the time) and then demanded that I replace it.  I was told that my opinion on the matter was not of interest to her.  I got snipped without telling her.  We are now back to something between the not as bad times and the pre-Bridgerton status quo.  It's proudly been about 3 weeks since the last time.


Well, it's gonna be bad times when she finds out. She'll insist on a baby and that's when you'll be shelling out for the IVF.

Maybe you should just be honest and say "no more babies." Y'all are in your 40s. By the time it graduates from high school, you'll be almost 60. Besides, it would probably come out with 2 heads and five arms or something.

/I have a friend living something like this, except for that last part.
 
2022-08-19 12:20:55 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: Well, it's gonna be bad times when she finds out. She'll insist on a baby and that's when you'll be shelling out for the IVF.

Maybe you should just be honest and say "no more babies." Y'all are in your 40s. By the time it graduates from high school, you'll be almost 60. Besides, it would probably come out with 2 heads and five arms or something.

/I have a friend living something like this, except for that last part.


I did say that.  Which is why she acted unilaterally, and forced me to do the same.

I have continued to say that, but as noted already, she doesn't feel that I have any right to have input into that decision.

It's just that now her actions have rendered the decision effectively irreversible, and not on the way she intended.
 
2022-08-19 2:50:06 PM  
Personally? I find few situations can't be improved with masturbation.

That's why I'm banned from the Piggly Wiggly mart.
 
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