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(Huffington Post)   Old and busted: "Would Jesus wear a Rolex?". New hotness: "My congregation is 'disgusting' for not buying me a Movado watch"   (huffpost.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Christianity, Christian terms, Sermon, Want, 2007 singles, Homiletics, Kansas City, content of the clip  
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49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-18 8:23:31 AM  
I have also privately apologized to our church, who has extended their love and support to me."

Why do I feel the reason he did it privately was because he didn't want his 'apology' leaked

How much time do you think the church is going to expand to find out who the leaker is?
 
2022-08-18 9:00:35 AM  
People who believe in fairy tales and fork over all their money to people like this should have a durable power of attorney over them to prevent them rom leaving the house and spending money.
 
2022-08-18 9:20:48 AM  
Again?
 
2022-08-18 9:22:36 AM  

Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: Again?


Relax it's Reverend Peat's brother
 
2022-08-18 9:23:54 AM  
Carlton Funderburke

A cockney hearing this name would immediately assume that last name was "thunder berk" which, if you know your cockney rhyming slang, is absolutely apropos.
 
2022-08-18 9:24:25 AM  
Somebody buy this guy a fancy car in his least favourite colour and film the results.
 
2022-08-18 9:25:17 AM  
I find his honesty refreshing.
 
2022-08-18 9:25:25 AM  
Society is too obsessed with material things. I learned about this from a man who lives in a gigantic palace, wears clothes that cost more than my car, and flys all over the world on the dime of his parishioners.

We should all starve so the cardinals, priests and bishops have good lives, and learn from their examples.
 
2022-08-18 9:27:56 AM  

AlphaG33k: Society is too obsessed with material things. I learned about this from a man who lives in a gigantic palace, wears clothes that cost more than my car, and flys all over the world on the dime of his parishioners.

We should all starve so the cardinals, priests and bishops have good lives, and learn from their examples.


You don't know how a lot of those guys actually live do you?
 
2022-08-18 9:28:37 AM  
More honest than Olsteen.
 
2022-08-18 9:28:57 AM  
Guy's photo on his church website.  You kinda should'a known what you were getting. That's very much not a wealthy part of KC... I guess I can see how prosperity gospel sells, but sigh.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 9:29:08 AM  
I just need to move out of Missouri, don't I?

So many citizens of this state don't deserve my attempts at defending them from the MAGAT/meth-cooking/cousin-farking/gun-humping/fleecing-the-parishioners stereotypes.

/Spoiler alert: these same chucklefarks will re-elect Heehawley in a couple years.
 
2022-08-18 9:29:50 AM  
Congregations like these are just abuse junkies without the will to go seek out a good dominatrix.
 
2022-08-18 9:30:45 AM  

Communist Middleschool Student: AlphaG33k: Society is too obsessed with material things. I learned about this from a man who lives in a gigantic palace, wears clothes that cost more than my car, and flys all over the world on the dime of his parishioners.

We should all starve so the cardinals, priests and bishops have good lives, and learn from their examples.

You don't know how a lot of those guys actually live do you?


That's fair, a lot of them are there for the child butthole benefit that comes with the gig.
 
2022-08-18 9:31:58 AM  
his reaction probably looked like this

UHF Happy Father's Day
Youtube uCNYZVw8XJ8
 
2022-08-18 9:32:22 AM  
I wish Jesus Christ could just float down and tell the POS grifter pretending to be a servant of God about all the amenities of the hell that he's going to punish him for his sins.
 
2022-08-18 9:32:58 AM  
Every time I read stories like this I want to kick myself for not being cold enough to scam people out of money for Jesus or miracle cures everything sugar pills .
 
2022-08-18 9:33:00 AM  
I thought the Movato bit was a joke because you could probably find a used one for $150. Now I'm crying from both laughter *and* disgust.
 
2022-08-18 9:34:11 AM  
I'm still pissed that my congregation hasn't sponsored me for TotalFark.
 
2022-08-18 9:35:38 AM  
I kinda feel like Jesus would be more of an Ebel guy.  More functional than a Movado, not in the shop as much as a Rolex.  Actually, Jesus would hock the Ebel and get a Timex.  From a thrift store.  And use the money to feed the hungry.

If he really existed.
 
2022-08-18 9:35:49 AM  
How bout a gangsta jesus watch?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 9:35:59 AM  

Communist Middleschool Student: AlphaG33k: Society is too obsessed with material things. I learned about this from a man who lives in a gigantic palace, wears clothes that cost more than my car, and flys all over the world on the dime of his parishioners.

We should all starve so the cardinals, priests and bishops have good lives, and learn from their examples.

You don't know how a lot of those guys actually live do you?


Sarcasm detector is offline, isn't it?
 
2022-08-18 9:37:46 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: More honest than Olsteen.


The bar to clear that is floating around the Earth's mantle.
 
2022-08-18 9:38:10 AM  
I'm truly sorry I was called out for griffin.  Can you find it in your hearts to forgive me?  Good God y'all.   Good God all y'all
 
2022-08-18 9:39:25 AM  
Prosperity Doctrine Christian, they're all the same grift:  Buy me this watch so I can dress as you'd like to dress, and I will be a sympathetic magic totem, and as wealthy as you make me, so too you shall receive wealth.  It's the new farking creed.

Jesus would vomit eternally, if he existed.
 
2022-08-18 9:40:32 AM  
The worst part is his congregation cheering him on the entire time.
 
2022-08-18 9:41:36 AM  
Should get you some veneers instead...
 
2022-08-18 9:43:24 AM  

jim32rr: Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: Again?

Relax it's Reverend Peat's brother


can we get the twitter thread greened too?  since every thread is a twitter link?
 
2022-08-18 9:47:42 AM  
This classic bears reposting often

Televangelists: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
Youtube 7y1xJAVZxXg


/Tax all the churches
 
2022-08-18 9:48:12 AM  

Thank You Black Jesus!: jim32rr: Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: Again?

Relax it's Reverend Peat's brother

can we get the twitter thread greened too?  since every thread is a twitter link?


For God so loved the world he gave us Peat, Repeat, Twitter and TotalFark. Say .... Amen
 
2022-08-18 9:50:42 AM  
$650 watch is meh.... not that bad compared to a $10,000 Rolex.
 
2022-08-18 9:51:03 AM  

TheSubjunctive: Guy's photo on his church website.  You kinda should'a known what you were getting. That's very much not a wealthy part of KC... I guess I can see how prosperity gospel sells, but sigh.


[Fark user image 735x753]


Dunno, his bling looks like it'll cost 10USD on Wish.com

The watch he so desires is 200USD. Maybe his old watch is broken, which isn't surprising if he bought it there.
 
2022-08-18 9:51:30 AM  
I'm guessing this one is for the other wrist?
 
2022-08-18 9:53:11 AM  
 
2022-08-18 9:53:32 AM  

Communist Middleschool Student: AlphaG33k: Society is too obsessed with material things. I learned about this from a man who lives in a gigantic palace, wears clothes that cost more than my car, and flys all over the world on the dime of his parishioners.

We should all starve so the cardinals, priests and bishops have good lives, and learn from their examples.

You don't know how a lot of those guys actually live do you?


naked in a pool of oiled up choirboys?
 
2022-08-18 9:54:37 AM  

puckrock2000: Again? Or maybe this guy really wants another Movado.


He's got two wrists, doesn't he?
 
2022-08-18 9:57:38 AM  

Gollie: $650 watch is meh.... not that bad compared to a $10,000 Rolex.


I'm picturing Indiana Jones passing by the Rolex saying and picking up the Movado and saying "That's the cup of a carpenter. '
 
2022-08-18 9:59:46 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 10:00:10 AM  
Please bow your heads and sing along. Sing dammit
Take Me to Church
Youtube 6A3PMQA5c74
 
2022-08-18 10:04:31 AM  
There is a fetish called something like Financial Dominance where the sub allows the dom to basically raid their bank account.  Somehow they get sexual satisfaction from it.

In short, don't kink shame these people.
 
2022-08-18 10:04:55 AM  
"You can't afford it because you don't see the value here."

That's a bingo!  You and your kind have no value.
 
2022-08-18 10:07:41 AM  

Gollie: $650 watch is meh.... not that bad compared to a $10,000 Rolex.


Or asking your flock to pay for new helicopter blades.
 
2022-08-18 10:07:49 AM  
Fark user image
 
2022-08-18 10:10:34 AM  
Wait, WTF.  A brand new Movado starts at $400.  I have a more expensive watch than that and I'm not even sure where it is.
 
2022-08-18 10:11:22 AM  
You know, as a carpenter, I'm pretty sure he would admire the craftsmanship of a Rolex, but couldn't justify the price

So would probably go with Omega
 
2022-08-18 10:15:03 AM  

jtown: Wait, WTF.  A brand new Movado starts at $400.  I have a more expensive watch than that and I'm not even sure where it is.


I have two Heuer's, one was my Hs grad present and the other my dad bought at service merchandise (blast from the past) in 94 for I think 1200, the retail was almost 3k

This guy needs to up his game
 
2022-08-18 10:15:21 AM  

jtown: Wait, WTF.  A brand new Movado starts at $400.  I have a more expensive watch than that and I'm not even sure where it is.


I stopped buying expensive sunglasses years ago for that exact reason.
 
2022-08-18 10:21:46 AM  
100% fake church, 100% heresy.
 
2022-08-18 10:26:27 AM  

Ketchuponsteak: TheSubjunctive: Guy's photo on his church website.  You kinda should'a known what you were getting. That's very much not a wealthy part of KC... I guess I can see how prosperity gospel sells, but sigh.


[Fark user image 735x753]

Dunno, his bling looks like it'll cost 10USD on Wish.com

The watch he so desires is 200USD. Maybe his old watch is broken, which isn't surprising if he bought it there.


Yeah, but he's still a dickhead.
 
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