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(Twitter)   Inside look into a Russian paratrooper's training   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, shot  
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5015 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2022 at 7:20 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



62 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-18 4:09:18 AM  
Original Tweet:

 
2022-08-18 7:21:49 AM  
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.comView Full Size


Come here, Artyom!
 
2022-08-18 7:23:31 AM  
 
2022-08-18 7:29:40 AM  
Vlad built a kleptocracy, but he stupidly thought that he was the only one smart enough to steal.  He didn't realize that everyone would do it too - that it would be villas for the generals, Range Rovers for the Majors, and track suits for the enlisted men.
 
2022-08-18 7:32:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 7:33:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you
 
2022-08-18 7:33:27 AM  
Read it, his son story
hope this motherfarker gets his pieces sent to mother vlad after the dogs have him...
Dine, oh dine.
 
2022-08-18 7:34:28 AM  
His complaints are only about the shitty Russian training. Not that they should have not started an unjustifiable war in the first place.
He's just an unhappy Orc.
 
2022-08-18 7:36:15 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: His complaints are only about the shiatty Russian training. Not that they should have not started an unjustifiable war in the first place.
He's just an unhappy Orc.


Read this farkwads tweets, enough.
No mercy to the invaders.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 7:37:40 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you


How do you know what pee smells like on a human being?
Negligence?
 
2022-08-18 7:38:59 AM  
Ah, yes. I remember the training video.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 7:39:00 AM  

ProfessorTerguson: Read it, his son story
hope this motherfarker gets his pieces sent to mother vlad after the dogs have him...
Dine, oh dine.


Was that even English?

Do you hope the soldier gets mauled by dogs, or Vlad the incompetent?

I assumed we just had trolls on here, but with the incoherent broken English, I guess that could've been a post from a russian shill.

It could've also been a post from a drunk / hung over American with the assistance of autokorekt, though
 
2022-08-18 7:39:08 AM  

ProfessorTerguson: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

How do you know what pee smells like on a human being?
Negligence?


i've taken public transportation in Chicago
 
2022-08-18 7:40:41 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: ProfessorTerguson: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

How do you know what pee smells like on a human being?
Negligence?

i've taken public transportation in Chicago


Complaining about the CTA?  OK, suburban Boomer.
 
2022-08-18 7:47:12 AM  
A smarter man would realize he was "considered disposable" from the get go.

Y'all thought the military would mean that you could get better meals and opportunities when you got home. Y'all were banking on a kleptocracy giving you opportunities, and in that system you need to buy that sh*t. It's not a bug, it's a feature. And y'all did it to yourselves.
 
2022-08-18 7:47:18 AM  
VDV song (Updated)
Youtube gSzAnNU4u28
 
2022-08-18 7:49:04 AM  
Ok, I've got to say it. I've held off for too long and I don't hear enough people talking about this.
What is up with those god awful striped shirts all the Russians wear?

Y'all look like you were found on a 19th century schooner and sent to a modern theatre of war.
Maybe that's why their military is so incompetent. The Russians invented time travel but they can only bring back conscripts from 1885.

So gauche.
 
2022-08-18 7:53:37 AM  

hubiestubert: Y'all were banking on a kleptocracy giving you opportunities, and in that system you need to buy that sh*t.


Not buy. Steal. And you have to be considered important enough to be allowed to get away with it. Real opportunities only exist for Pooty's made men, and even they're expendible when the scam goes sour. They're not dropping as fast as the military, but percentage-wise, they're not that far off, either.
 
2022-08-18 7:54:40 AM  
20/ The soldiers set off for their jump practice at 02:00 in sub-zero conditions, travelling on open-top trucks. They spent five hours "jumping on the spot ... to warm up somehow". When they jumped, Filatyev found that the drop zone had mistakenly been centred on a cemetery.

From the description of the training quality, that's not a mistake. That's logistical efficiency in the event someone didn't pack their parachute properly.
 
2022-08-18 7:57:49 AM  
Russia is a living example of what happens when corruption, mismanagement and apathy reaches a point where the country or in this case the military, can't function and not for the first time:

The Dumbest Russian Voyage Nobody Talks About
Youtube yzGqp3R4Mx4
 
2022-08-18 7:58:12 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: His complaints are only about the shiatty Russian training. Not that they should have not started an unjustifiable war in the first place.
He's just an unhappy Orc.


In fairness, the Tweet thread is not a summary of everything he wrote. It specifically only covers his time training in Crimea in 2021 (thus, before the war, if you don't count the annexation of Crimea as part of the war). There's more to come, presumably. Unless you can read Russian; in that case you can see the whole thing now.
 
2022-08-18 7:58:25 AM  
It was not your fault sir. You spoke out. You are now a hero.

/If his account gets translated and published, someone submit a link. Anyone know a publisher?
 
2022-08-18 8:02:39 AM  

abb3w: 20/ The soldiers set off for their jump practice at 02:00 in sub-zero conditions, travelling on open-top trucks. They spent five hours "jumping on the spot ... to warm up somehow". When they jumped, Filatyev found that the drop zone had mistakenly been centred on a cemetery.

From the description of the training quality, that's not a mistake. That's logistical efficiency in the event someone didn't pack their parachute properly.


In Putin Russia, grave opens you!
 
2022-08-18 8:03:00 AM  

MillionDollarMo: Ok, I've got to say it. I've held off for too long and I don't hear enough people talking about this.
What is up with those god awful striped shirts all the Russians wear?

Y'all look like you were found on a 19th century schooner and sent to a modern theatre of war.
Maybe that's why their military is so incompetent. The Russians invented time travel but they can only bring back conscripts from 1885.

So gauche.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telnyashka

Yeah, it's a navy thing that spread to other branches like fleet week-related herpes.
 
2022-08-18 8:08:14 AM  
The Russian army still has political officers? I think I would have deserted after the awful food, shiatty living conditions and not even given a uniform until he had to buy it on his own.
 
2022-08-18 8:13:23 AM  
I don't feel bad at all for what happens to the the invaders, but holy fark if this isn't convenient sabotage by their own command I don't know what is.

Also:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 8:31:43 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you


It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.
 
2022-08-18 8:31:56 AM  
Someone should modify "Blood on the Risers" for the Russians

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWgsdexkv18
 
2022-08-18 8:33:06 AM  
And these are the fiercest fighting forces the whole world has been afraid of.
 
2022-08-18 8:36:32 AM  

MythDragon: And these are the fiercest fighting forces the whole world has been afraid of.


It's really just the missiles everyone's cautious of. I doubt most larger nations have taken their ground forces seriously for years, though they probably still rated them as being better than the absolute joke they've revealed themselves to be.
 
2022-08-18 8:43:41 AM  
"There is ground, Vasiliy. Pull cord when ground is close."

"But--"

"For Putin! For Russia!"

"Ayieeeeee!"
 
2022-08-18 8:45:00 AM  

ProfessorTerguson: Read it, his son story
hope this motherfarker gets his pieces sent to mother vlad after the dogs have him...
Dine, oh dine.


Sir, this is a White Castle
 
2022-08-18 8:52:18 AM  
The photo is flipped.    The backwards-Ns are the right way around.
 
2022-08-18 9:01:26 AM  

MillionDollarMo: Ok, I've got to say it. I've held off for too long and I don't hear enough people talking about this.
What is up with those god awful striped shirts all the Russians wear?

Y'all look like you were found on a 19th century schooner and sent to a modern theatre of war.
Maybe that's why their military is so incompetent. The Russians invented time travel but they can only bring back conscripts from 1885.

So gauche.


It's because the Russian flag is so similar to the French flag; they got confused and ordered striped shirts and berets.
 
2022-08-18 9:06:29 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.


The only legitimate use of twitter is sending out automatic notifications when things like the temperature or humidity of your greenhouse is out of expected parameters, and that lost validity when SMS became essentially free.
 
2022-08-18 9:26:17 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: His complaints are only about the shiatty Russian training. Not that they should have not started an unjustifiable war in the first place.
He's just an unhappy Orc.


True, later on, in an excerpt published in the Guardian, he really starts questioning the war when he actually starts fighting the Ukrainians, who are obviously far better trained, equipped, and led than the orcs. Then he gets wounded and loses his eyesight in one eye because orc medicine is shiattier than their army.

Personally I think little of this man too but it is a neat insight into just how unbelievably farked the Russian military is and just how much Russian society has degraded in the twenty odd years living under Putinist rule.
 
2022-08-18 9:40:04 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Vlad built a kleptocracy, but he stupidly thought that he was the only one smart enough to steal.


Why do you think that?

He didn't build a kleptocracy btw., that was Jeltsin.
 
2022-08-18 9:48:20 AM  

MillionDollarMo: Ok, I've got to say it. I've held off for too long and I don't hear enough people talking about this.
What is up with those god awful striped shirts all the Russians wear?

Y'all look like you were found on a 19th century schooner and sent to a modern theatre of war.
Maybe that's why their military is so incompetent. The Russians invented time travel but they can only bring back conscripts from 1885.

So gauche.


I always thought they aspired to be mimes.
 
2022-08-18 10:11:37 AM  

Wessoman: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: His complaints are only about the shiatty Russian training. Not that they should have not started an unjustifiable war in the first place.
He's just an unhappy Orc.

True, later on, in an excerpt published in the Guardian, he really starts questioning the war when he actually starts fighting the Ukrainians, who are obviously far better trained, equipped, and led than the orcs. Then he gets wounded and loses his eyesight in one eye because orc medicine is shiattier than their army.

Personally I think little of this man too but it is a neat insight into just how unbelievably farked the Russian military is and just how much Russian society has degraded in the twenty odd years living under Putinist rule.


Every single soldier needs to realize that war does not benefit them. The most a grunt on the ground can hope for is that they come back with all their bits in one piece. The only people who benefit are the ones in charge, the ones who stand to profit from the stolen resources and land, and that goes for any country. What do orc soldiers get out of this? Nothing. Which is why "nationalism" was invented, instilling a false sense of pride and duty to craft reasons for the average person to go off and die for no good farking reason. Offensive wars should cause the average person to go "Fark no. I'm not putting my life on the line for 'my country' when all that means is Putin gets another million dollars from selling stolen shiat."

Defensive wars, at least, make sense because you're being attacked and you have a reason to fight. i.e. you don't want people to just freely kill you. But everything else? Complete bull and people shouldn't farking stand for it. Reading a single book about WW2 should give a person everything they need to know about why offensive wars are utter garbage for the common person. Even if the bad guys had WON the soldiers get nothing from it.
 
2022-08-18 10:12:46 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.


Because that's where the eyeballs are.
 
2022-08-18 10:19:16 AM  

Olthoi: HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.

Because that's where the eyeballs are.


He could have captured those eyes with one tweet with a link to his story.
 
2022-08-18 10:27:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 10:36:27 AM  

Fungal Infection: MillionDollarMo: Ok, I've got to say it. I've held off for too long and I don't hear enough people talking about this.
What is up with those god awful striped shirts all the Russians wear?

Y'all look like you were found on a 19th century schooner and sent to a modern theatre of war.
Maybe that's why their military is so incompetent. The Russians invented time travel but they can only bring back conscripts from 1885.

So gauche.

I always thought they aspired to be mimes.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 10:46:40 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Giant Clown Shoe: ProfessorTerguson: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

How do you know what pee smells like on a human being?
Negligence?

i've taken public transportation in Chicago

Complaining about the CTA?  OK, suburban Boomer.


60618

i take the blue line every day
 
2022-08-18 10:56:13 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.


wide audience?

threadreader is great. though it didn't stop elderly farkers from biatching about it yesterday
 
2022-08-18 11:11:11 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.

wide audience?

threadreader is great. though it didn't stop elderly farkers from biatching about it yesterday


That threadreader exists is the biggest indicator that twitter isn't built for that kind of posting.
 
2022-08-18 11:12:02 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.

wide audience?

threadreader is great. though it didn't stop elderly farkers from biatching about it yesterday

That threadreader exists is the biggest indicator that twitter isn't built for that kind of posting.


where should things be self published to a wide audience?
 
2022-08-18 11:28:16 AM  
"Russia, Russia never changes."
 
2022-08-18 11:57:11 AM  
This is exactly why we shouldn't fear the Russians or Chinese: too much corruption and incompetence. Sheer incompetence. I mean...the Bad News Bears would beat the pants off of these guys.
 
2022-08-18 12:41:21 PM  

Giant Clown Shoe: HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: HotWingConspiracy: Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 397x398]

in before fark boomers start complaining they can't read segmented information on twitter

/you smell like pee and all service staff hate you

It's easy enough to read, but I don't get why people use twitter this way. That's just not what it's built for.

wide audience?

threadreader is great. though it didn't stop elderly farkers from biatching about it yesterday

That threadreader exists is the biggest indicator that twitter isn't built for that kind of posting.

where should things be self published to a wide audience?


Medium or any of the other dozen similar services.
 
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