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(Ask A Manager)   I hired a sex worker on a business trip, and she stole my work laptop. What do I tell my boss?   (askamanager.org) divider line
    More: Awkward, 2009 albums, WANT, Termination of employment, 2008 singles, work laptop, medical leave, business trip, hours of thinking-intensive writing work  
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447 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 18 Aug 2022 at 7:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-18 7:31:29 AM  
That 'a maid' stole your laptop? You dropped it on the way up to your room? You accidentally left it in a cab? It got lifted in the lobby? Jeebus Frist, you've got the stones to lie to your wife about your predilection for girls with financially motivated exercise routines, but you can't come up with one to cover 'hooker stole my sh*t'?
 
2022-08-18 7:43:38 AM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 7:55:23 AM  
Should I not have done that??? Is it "frowned upon "???
 
2022-08-18 8:05:48 AM  
LoL. CSB...

In the 2000s, I worked with a dude who, on a biz trip to Amsterdam, apparently hired himself some.... gratification. Dude had the balls (not brains) to put it on his expense report as "entertainment". $1500 is the number I recall.

His boss, a friend of his, did him a solid by having him remove the charge before the report went up the food chain for approval. Not sure how he explained it to his wife.

/ so many great stories came out of that particular employment period
 
2022-08-18 8:09:50 AM  
Goodbye, and thanks for all the paychecks.
 
2022-08-18 8:44:06 AM  
Well, definitely don't tell her the truth.
 
2022-08-18 8:46:11 AM  
Translation: "I hired a sex worker while on a business trip. Nothing bad happened, I just like telling everybody that I did it."
 
2022-08-18 9:07:08 AM  
Make it look like an accident.
 
2022-08-18 9:14:32 AM  

hubiestubert: That 'a maid' stole your laptop? You dropped it on the way up to your room? You accidentally left it in a cab? It got lifted in the lobby? Jeebus Frist, you've got the stones to lie to your wife about your predilection for girls with financially motivated exercise routines, but you can't come up with one to cover 'hooker stole my sh*t'?


Yeah, and when the company files a complaint and claim against the hotel the maid will be fired at best if not have the police looking at her for a theft she didn't commit.
 
2022-08-18 9:51:25 AM  
Nice try, Hunter!
 
2022-08-18 10:15:54 AM  

squidloe: hubiestubert: That 'a maid' stole your laptop? You dropped it on the way up to your room? You accidentally left it in a cab? It got lifted in the lobby? Jeebus Frist, you've got the stones to lie to your wife about your predilection for girls with financially motivated exercise routines, but you can't come up with one to cover 'hooker stole my sh*t'?

Yeah, and when the company files a complaint and claim against the hotel the maid will be fired at best if not have the police looking at her for a theft she didn't commit.


The problem with "The Maid" story is it's too specific.
Those colorful details are the earmark of a lie.
You don't KNOW it was the maid. Just say it was just gone, stolen from the room.
 
2022-08-18 10:17:07 AM  
I hear all the cool kids these days blame the FBI.
 
2022-08-18 10:17:46 AM  

optikeye: squidloe: hubiestubert: That 'a maid' stole your laptop? You dropped it on the way up to your room? You accidentally left it in a cab? It got lifted in the lobby? Jeebus Frist, you've got the stones to lie to your wife about your predilection for girls with financially motivated exercise routines, but you can't come up with one to cover 'hooker stole my sh*t'?

Yeah, and when the company files a complaint and claim against the hotel the maid will be fired at best if not have the police looking at her for a theft she didn't commit.

The problem with "The Maid" story is it's too specific.
Those colorful details are the earmark of a lie.
You don't KNOW it was the maid. Just say it was just gone, stolen from the room.


And he might get an actual maid in trouble.
 
2022-08-18 10:19:27 AM  
That your laptop was stolen.  This doesn't seem that difficult to figure out.
 
2022-08-18 10:35:05 AM  

optikeye: squidloe: hubiestubert: That 'a maid' stole your laptop? You dropped it on the way up to your room? You accidentally left it in a cab? It got lifted in the lobby? Jeebus Frist, you've got the stones to lie to your wife about your predilection for girls with financially motivated exercise routines, but you can't come up with one to cover 'hooker stole my sh*t'?

Yeah, and when the company files a complaint and claim against the hotel the maid will be fired at best if not have the police looking at her for a theft she didn't commit.

The problem with "The Maid" story is it's too specific.
Those colorful details are the earmark of a lie.
You don't KNOW it was the maid. Just say it was just gone, stolen from the room.


Even better would be "I went down to the court yard for a coffee and donut and had to go wee and when I came back the laptop was gone"
 
2022-08-18 11:12:01 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Harry: What about that time you trashed a six-week operation because you were busy getting a blowjob?
Gib: [aghast] You know about that?
 
2022-08-18 11:36:18 AM  

hubiestubert: girls with financially motivated exercise routines


This is the best euphemism ever and I'm keeping it. I will credit you accordingly, of course.
 
2022-08-18 1:03:56 PM  
Well, firstly, did you put the hooker on expenses?
 
2022-08-18 2:05:16 PM  

debug: That your laptop was stolen.  This doesn't seem that difficult to figure out.


Well.. maybe a little bit more complicated than that.

You can't necessarily say that you woke up and it was gone. Most hotels have, at least.. some cameras and can identify people coming and going - so there might be some questions there.

Many places there are cameras everywhere..and it might even be difficult to even say someone grabbed it on the street

Depending on what's on the laptop and how aggressively the company wants it investigated - they may want to investigate it just to rule out that the employee isn't lying about something

Might be worth thinking through a little .. someone grabbed it in a busy, crowded event? - or snatched it at a remote or secluded location?

It's a difficult situation - if you claim you forgot it or left it somewhere you are negligent of caring for the property

If you claim it was stolen, you are inviting an investigation into yourself, they (the police) will attempt to implicate you - for lying and filing a false report and potentially fraud if your story isn't airtight

Once you say something of value is stolen - especially something like company property, you better be prepared to answer some questions
 
2022-08-18 2:11:06 PM  

wrenchboy: optikeye: squidloe: hubiestubert: That 'a maid' stole your laptop? You dropped it on the way up to your room? You accidentally left it in a cab? It got lifted in the lobby? Jeebus Frist, you've got the stones to lie to your wife about your predilection for girls with financially motivated exercise routines, but you can't come up with one to cover 'hooker stole my sh*t'?

Yeah, and when the company files a complaint and claim against the hotel the maid will be fired at best if not have the police looking at her for a theft she didn't commit.

The problem with "The Maid" story is it's too specific.
Those colorful details are the earmark of a lie.
You don't KNOW it was the maid. Just say it was just gone, stolen from the room.

Even better would be "I went down to the court yard for a coffee and donut and had to go wee and when I came back the laptop was gone"


You run the risk of the hotel having security cameras.
 
2022-08-18 3:33:57 PM  

blackminded: hubiestubert: girls with financially motivated exercise routines

This is the best euphemism ever and I'm keeping it. I will credit you accordingly, of course.


Nah, credit The Royal Crown Revue.

Friday the 13th
Youtube tuDcVFU8VM4
 
2022-08-18 4:36:05 PM  
Tell them you took a spur-of-the-moment fishing trip, and it fell overboard.
 
2022-08-19 2:55:34 AM  

Billy Liar: Tell them you took a spur-of-the-moment fishing trip, and it fell overboard.


Location of business trip

thenationalbulletin.inView Full Size
 
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