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(Some Guy)   If this is what it takes to save the planet, so long Earth. We had a good run   (news18.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Clothing, toilet paper, Toilet, reusable cloth towel, Net Zero Co invention, laundry jet, Laundry, Toilet paper  
•       •       •

4170 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2022 at 11:30 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



78 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-08-17 11:32:29 PM  
I knew a guy in college who was in on that trend.  Used a hand towel to wipe his ass and would leave it by the toilet.

He also conserved water by not showering the entire semester.
 
2022-08-17 11:35:26 PM  
i am just going to use corncobs
 
2022-08-17 11:38:30 PM  
So water directly on the ass is still beyond the pale?
 
2022-08-17 11:39:18 PM  

kittyhas1000legs: I knew a guy in college who was in on that trend.  Used a hand towel to wipe his ass and would leave it by the toilet.

He also conserved water by not showering the entire semester.


*Hork*
 
2022-08-17 11:40:16 PM  

trappedspirit: So water directly on the ass is still beyond the pale?


I am trying to save up for a master bathroom remodel....and a built-in bidet is on the list.
 
2022-08-17 11:42:28 PM  
What did people do before toilet paper was invented?
 
2022-08-17 11:44:32 PM  

kittyhas1000legs: I knew a guy in college who was in on that trend.  Used a hand towel to wipe his ass and would leave it by the toilet.

He also conserved water by not showering the entire semester.


I think I knew that guy too.
 
2022-08-17 11:44:47 PM  
1) You can take my Kirkland Signature toilet paper from my cold/dead hands.

2) But having a washcloth in my shower is great for a final clean-up after my "morning constitutional".

3) Essentially, the point I am getting at is.....

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 11:44:56 PM  

NakedApe: What did people do before toilet paper was invented?


I am told this is why you never shake left hands with a Bedouin and other indigenous cultures.
 
2022-08-17 11:45:47 PM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: kittyhas1000legs: I knew a guy in college who was in on that trend.  Used a hand towel to wipe his ass and would leave it by the toilet.

He also conserved water by not showering the entire semester.

I think I knew that guy too.


Ugh.  I knew some annoying people in college, but thankfully they were never that bad.  Yikes.
 
2022-08-17 11:45:56 PM  
Subby you say that you couldnt live without toilet paper. Your mom says you couldnt even be trusted to use a toilet to poop every time before you were 7
 
2022-08-17 11:46:27 PM  

iaazathot: NakedApe: What did people do before toilet paper was invented?

I am told this is why you never shake left hands with a Bedouin and other indigenous cultures.


Additionally, it is because they would try to kill you if you try it back in the day, because it's filthy and disrespectful.
 
2022-08-17 11:46:50 PM  
That's why I voted for Joe Bidet.
 
2022-08-17 11:48:18 PM  
I thought if you didn't consume processed foods you were supposed to poop such tight little nuggets that no wiping would be required at all?
 
2022-08-17 11:48:48 PM  

NakedApe: What did people do before toilet paper was invented?


They were pretty shiatty people
 
2022-08-17 11:50:32 PM  

NakedApe: What did people do before toilet paper was invented?


Pinch it and move on.

New TikTok challenge:

Cat-shiats only for a week.
 
2022-08-17 11:50:42 PM  
The electricity that it takes to run the computer for the time it takes to read articles/watch videos every day to make yourself feel good about how great you are for being "green" has more impact than most of the garbage they suggest.
 
2022-08-17 11:51:27 PM  
I recently got a toilet seat bidet and it's the best thing ever. No need for a bathroom remodel.
 
2022-08-17 11:51:34 PM  

kkinnison: i am just going to use corncobs


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 11:56:04 PM  

fragMasterFlash: I thought if you didn't consume processed foods you were supposed to poop such tight little nuggets that no wiping would be required at all?


Archaeology says no - preserved human shiat is a thing that happens sometimes - turns out ancient peoples pooped about like us, if we ate say nothing but meat and bread and it was riddled with parasites in this case: Lloyd's Bank Coprolite


/there's even one piece of shiat they found excavating some Neanderthal site in Spain
//from the neighborhood of 50k years ago
///that shiat was ancient, man...
 
2022-08-17 11:58:24 PM  
He who controls the TP controls the galaxy
 
2022-08-17 11:59:50 PM  
You know those "Moderate to severe IBD" or chron's adverts? All those people have shiat their pants enough that this is just a bit more frequent washing-up.

Put bleach in the bleach thing. Squeegee them first if you must.
 
2022-08-18 12:02:09 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: ///that shiat was ancient, man...


I fully realize that is not a quote from "The Big Lebowski"...but I read that in The Dude's voice.
 
2022-08-18 12:03:02 AM  

The_Sponge: kkinnison: i am just going to use corncobs

[Fark user image image 425x523]


Fark user image
/still got a funny from me, though..
 
2022-08-18 12:03:11 AM  

trappedspirit: So water directly on the ass is still beyond the pale?


Many Americans will do anything, anything at all, but not that.

Personally, I have the power washer seat at home, but the little $2 plastic bidet wand that you stick on an old soda bottle is a whole lot better than nothing.  One at work, car glove box, camping backpack....
 
2022-08-18 12:05:08 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 12:05:17 AM  
I did not see a toilet knife.
 
2022-08-18 12:09:09 AM  

kkinnison: i am just going to use corncobs


Word of warning: make certain you put out cobs without the corn on them. Otherwise you'll be hearing sounds of pleasure all day long with any ladies in the house.
 
2022-08-18 12:11:20 AM  
Semi related
cdn-www.mandatory.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-18 12:14:16 AM  
Is running bags of poop filled cloths constantly in the washer (I mean you'd have to run constant loads, I don't think that's something you let pile up for a week until you have a full load)  really better for the environment? Hell, is it better for the rest of your clothes?
 
2022-08-18 12:25:40 AM  

kkinnison: i am just going to use corncobs


Ancient Romans used a sponge on a stick. They would keep it in a bowl of vinegar, which might have had some sanitary action on the poop bacteria.

The Middle East tradition of eating only with your right hand was because you used your left hand for all the nasty stuff.

Toilet paper is a new invention, when viewed from the entire history of mankind. We can get by. A lot more people will be installing bidets, which sucks for people dealing with water shortages.
 
2022-08-18 12:31:40 AM  

NakedApe: What did people do before toilet paper was invented?


Since most people lived near water (80% of all people still do), you poop in the river, wash your ass, then rinse your hands. Water carried the poop away.

Parents used cloth diapers for who knows how long, so this isn't much different. You might not want to share your poop towel, and you'll need a cabinet to hide it, but it's manageable.
 
2022-08-18 12:36:13 AM  

The_Sponge: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: ///that shiat was ancient, man...

I fully realize that is not a quote from "The Big Lebowski"...but I read that in The Dude's voice.


Mission accomplished
 
2022-08-18 12:43:41 AM  
So cloth diapers like most of the last century?
 
2022-08-18 1:03:25 AM  
If you try to eliminate toilet paper, then prepare for a catastrophe.
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Image from a Fark photoshop contest during the time that Americans were hording toilet paper
 
2022-08-18 1:05:47 AM  

NakedApe: What did people do before toilet paper was invented?


In some places it is considered somewhere between bad manners and disgusting to eat with your left hand.
I'll let you contemplate why.
 
2022-08-18 1:07:20 AM  
Hi Earth. I didn't have a kid.

I'm using a bidet or toilet paper from now on.
 
2022-08-18 1:10:06 AM  
I heard shaking it out your pant leg at a British fotbol game was still acceptable.

/change my mind
 
2022-08-18 1:11:40 AM  
Eh. 4.5 billion years is a pretty good run.
 
2022-08-18 1:11:44 AM  
During the pandemic tp shortage I got one of those bidets you install on your toilet.  I should have gotten one ages ago.  My girlfriend used it for the first time recently and she came out of the bathroom with a wide-eyed look, saying "that thing is amazing!  Life changing!  I have to get one!"

One word of caution -- if you have strong water pressure, be careful with the knob that controls water flow or else you might get a surprise enema.
 
2022-08-18 1:14:30 AM  

trappedspirit: I heard shaking it out your pant leg at a British fotbol game was still acceptable.

/change my mind


Only at a Manchester game, it's not universal
 
2022-08-18 1:17:22 AM  

MythDragon: Is running bags of poop filled cloths constantly in the washer (I mean you'd have to run constant loads, I don't think that's something you let pile up for a week until you have a full load)  really better for the environment? Hell, is it better for the rest of your clothes?


They invented the washcloth, you really think they are trying to save the environment?  No they are trying to make $$.  A roll of TP is only 1.5lb of wood, 37 gallons of water and 1.5kw of power.
Using TP made from recycled paper cuts all that in half.   Pretty sure the amount of water needed to wash crap off a rag every day or 2 will add up to more than a roll, add in the soap and electric and using regular TP your probably breaking even on pollution and resources.  Toss on the wear and tear on the washer since your doing an extra 2 or 3 loads per week (not putting your clothes in with crap towels) and your ahead.  If your using recycled TP your miles ahead.  So this product is worse for the environment.

A bidet on the other hand would be better assuming you can get used to it and like a wet butt.
 
2022-08-18 1:26:33 AM  
 
2022-08-18 1:31:22 AM  
Shower head on a hose with adjustable spray. Smallest setting is a central stream.
Just time your poo to just before your shower and you don't need a toilet attachment
 
2022-08-18 1:31:26 AM  
Maybe a tiny percentage of the Green New Deal should be spent on a video series teaching Americans how to use a bidet. The cost-benefit returns would be far better than promoting ass-cloth.
 
2022-08-18 2:03:22 AM  

trappedspirit: So water directly on the ass is still beyond the pale?


I live in a region that borders a region where the largest river went dry this year.
Recycled unbleached paper is biodegradable.
I'm just waiting for someone to develop a waterless toilet or a viable toilet water recycling system for home use.
 
2022-08-18 2:17:49 AM  
Pretty sure this is mainly targeted towards women, and it's not to wipe your ass with.
 
2022-08-18 2:24:48 AM  

MythDragon: Is running bags of poop filled cloths constantly in the washer (I mean you'd have to run constant loads, I don't think that's something you let pile up for a week until you have a full load)  really better for the environment? Hell, is it better for the rest of your clothes?


I have a farkworthy objective answer!

It is very likely that fresh-ish poop on a towel type cloth can be soaked and then washed out of a cloth in a washing machine. It is also very likely that if bleach and proper detergent are used, then most or all of the bacteria will be killed. Any that remain are just going to die during air drying, or be almost entirely incapable of infecting anyone through skin, or food, etc.

But if you want to be absolutely positively certain that you kill all the germs and get rid of all the nasty crusty bits, you need to have super hot temperatures and stronger detergents.

That's right. If you want to get your poop devices really clean, use the dishwasher. It is the only way to be certain.

/ the dishwasher.
// Yes. The dishwasher.
/// With your dishes, if you like.
 
2022-08-18 2:29:06 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: fragMasterFlash: I thought if you didn't consume processed foods you were supposed to poop such tight little nuggets that no wiping would be required at all?

Archaeology says no - preserved human shiat is a thing that happens sometimes - turns out ancient peoples pooped about like us, if we ate say nothing but meat and bread and it was riddled with parasites in this case: Lloyd's Bank Coprolite


/there's even one piece of shiat they found excavating some Neanderthal site in Spain
//from the neighborhood of 50k years ago
///that shiat was ancient, man...


And being on display means it's the same shiat, different day.
 
2022-08-18 2:36:01 AM  

kittyhas1000legs: I knew a guy in college who was in on that trend.  Used a hand towel to wipe his ass and would leave it by the toilet.

He also conserved water by not showering the entire semester.


Which college?  UC Berkeley?
 
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