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(MSN)   Pontiff in a coma, I know, I know, it'd be serious   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, MSN  
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6452 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2022 at 8:36 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



85 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-08-17 7:44:58 PM  
Ooohh. What if the grand wazoo of the fairy tale zombie dead baby Jesus lost his mind? He would just be another Christian.
 
2022-08-17 8:09:00 PM  
Why would he be in a coma and not a bed?
 
2022-08-17 8:29:02 PM  
Certainly, humanity's outcome would teeter in the balance if that were to happen.

Almost as bad as Bono in a coma.

/yeah, yeah, yeah
 
2022-08-17 8:33:23 PM  
Coma coma coma coma coma chameleon.🎶
 
2022-08-17 8:42:52 PM  
I'm pretty sure they just start pulling names out of a hat. You get 24 hours until a new pope takes over.
 
2022-08-17 8:43:00 PM  

vudukungfu: Ooohh. What if the grand wazoo of the fairy tale zombie dead baby Jesus lost his mind? He would just be another Christian.


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2022-08-17 8:43:15 PM  
No hope for Pope! Catholics can't cope!  Vatican under a microscope! Stay tuned for an important kinescope!
 
2022-08-17 8:45:28 PM  
What happens if he becomes mentally incapacitated?

He could run for office in the US.
 
2022-08-17 8:46:14 PM  
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" 'e's just resting!"
 
2022-08-17 8:46:55 PM  

big pig peaches: What happens if he becomes mentally incapacitated?


His second in command would have full papal authority including the nuclear launch codes.
 
2022-08-17 8:47:42 PM  
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how could they tell?
 
2022-08-17 8:49:36 PM  
I predict a Weekend at Bernie's scenario.
 
2022-08-17 8:49:43 PM  
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2022-08-17 8:50:23 PM  
Throw him up in the air and see if God wants to keep him?
 
2022-08-17 8:51:10 PM  
These are nightmare scenarios for the Catholic Church

I think that church has bigger issues.  Just sayin'
 
2022-08-17 8:51:28 PM  
I first read that as Pope in a comma.

/No, it didn't make a lot of sense to me either.
 
2022-08-17 8:52:23 PM  
They would make up a rule to handle it, that is exactly how this works.  It wouldn't be any sort of problem whatosever
 
2022-08-17 8:53:25 PM  

big pig peaches: What happens if he becomes mentally incapacitated?

He could run for office in the US.


He already runs a much larger criminal enterprise
 
2022-08-17 8:53:50 PM  
I'm sure they'd give him last rites and a cyanide hostie-o

Wouldn't be the first pope to die suddenly and inexplicably
 
2022-08-17 8:54:33 PM  
The pope goes into a coma, 'someone' 'accidentally ' trips on the plug.
 
2022-08-17 8:55:14 PM  
I think they'd cope with a pope who's a nope
 
2022-08-17 8:57:50 PM  

asmodeus224: They would make up a rule to handle it, that is exactly how this works.  It wouldn't be any sort of problem whatosever


It would probably mean an expansion of the role of Camerlengo. He (has to be a cardinal, women cannot be cardinals) already administrates the Holy See if the Pope dies.
 
2022-08-17 8:58:09 PM  

studebaker hoch: big pig peaches: What happens if he becomes mentally incapacitated?

His second in command would have full papal authority including the nuclear launch codes.


They also wear the yarmulkes so they can get a crack at the JewishSpaceLaser
 
2022-08-17 8:58:51 PM  
FTFA, he's officially stated that he intends to retire if he becomes too sick to perform his duties, so it can be reasonably inferred that if he lands in a coma he can't come back out of as determined by Vatican medical staff, that would be a de facto resignation and should be treated as such... but when religion is involved, and the head of state is supposed to be an infallible direct representative of a deity, it makes things much trickier. He's also an absolute ruler, however, so as that's clearly his intent, he should simply decree "medical staff have final call on comas, if it's permanent, find a new pope".
 
2022-08-17 8:58:57 PM  
That means it is time for Pope Scotty.

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2022-08-17 8:59:23 PM  
Oblig-
Tom Lehrer: The Vatican Rag (concert live) (1965)
Youtube GVFCFzo1Hxo
 
2022-08-17 8:59:37 PM  
I equate it to the Queen of England dying. A lot of people will be wound up about it, but really, what do they do that we'd need to be in a panic, scrambling for an immediate replacement?
 
2022-08-17 9:02:07 PM  
If Regular Pope is in a coma, doesn't Space Pope just take over?
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2022-08-17 9:02:17 PM  
Headline FAIL!
 
2022-08-17 9:03:41 PM  
Papal nap
Goes on too long
Better call the Cardinals
And fire up the smoke

ComaPope
 
2022-08-17 9:03:57 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: No hope for Pope! Catholics can't cope!  Vatican under a microscope! Stay tuned for an important kinescope!


What if the syncope is the incubation phase for lycanthropy?
 
2022-08-17 9:04:15 PM  
This isn't like Pope Urban II who  promised eternal salvation to those who fought in the name of the Church in the Holy Land.

The catholic church isn't as BFD as people think it is anymore.  they could use the pope like a puppet and people wouldn't care much
 
2022-08-17 9:04:18 PM  
But what if god was Bud Cort on life support?
 
2022-08-17 9:05:19 PM  

HighlanderRPI: Papal nap
Goes on too long
Better call the Cardinals
And fire up the smoke

ComaPope


Should've ended with Burma Shave
 
2022-08-17 9:05:26 PM  

Exluddite: I equate it to the Queen of England dying. A lot of people will be wound up about it, but really, what do they do that we'd need to be in a panic, scrambling for an immediate replacement?


But the Queen already has an heir to the throne; Chuck.  Many times in the past, succession to the throne was in question and a lot of problems stemmed from that, sometimes resulting in civil war.  The cardinals have to vote on the new pope, it's not a hereditary thing.
 
2022-08-17 9:06:14 PM  
"Pontiff in a Coma" is the name of my Dead Kennedys cover band.
 
2022-08-17 9:06:41 PM  
Honestly it's about time we had a couple of anti-popes again.
 
2022-08-17 9:06:54 PM  
christ what a boring article, and i like nerdy sh&t like this
 
2022-08-17 9:07:30 PM  

HighlanderRPI: I'm sure they'd give him last rites and a cyanide hostie-o

Wouldn't be the first pope to die suddenly and inexplicably


Yep, I'm old enough to remember the first  John Paul, who woke up, ate breakfast, and then died in his sleep.
 
2022-08-17 9:08:16 PM  
While Jude Law is in a coma, John Malkovich takes over. Anybody who subscribes to HBO knows that!
 
2022-08-17 9:11:21 PM  

iheartscotch: asmodeus224: They would make up a rule to handle it, that is exactly how this works.  It wouldn't be any sort of problem whatosever

It would probably mean an expansion of the role of Camerlengo. He (has to be a cardinal, women cannot be cardinals) already administrates the Holy See if the Pope dies.


As it stands it's pretty explicit that the Camerlengo does not a damn thing as long as the pope is alive though - even if they're out of it.  They have a point with the article, yes the Catholic Church is liable to eventually make a new rule but who would get the nod and what the process would be would be a nightmare of factioneering, bickering, backstabbing, and everything else - it would not be quick.  Especially not lately with the deep divide between the elements that want to survive the 21st century and the Caveman Catholicism types.  There'd at the very least be metaphorical blood on the floor - and literally is not out of the question, it's happened before.  In the meantime Catholicism would function on a day to day administrative basis, that's independent of the papacy - but nothing at all could be changed or altered - just caretaker stuff from the admin side
 
2022-08-17 9:11:35 PM  

macadamnut: HighlanderRPI: I'm sure they'd give him last rites and a cyanide hostie-o

Wouldn't be the first pope to die suddenly and inexplicably

Yep, I'm old enough to remember the first  John Paul, who woke up, ate breakfast, and then died in his sleep.


Well, when you think about it, he was a pretty good pope.
 
2022-08-17 9:18:20 PM  
I suspect there is a contingency plan in place, probably dating from when JPII was shot. The only question is if Francis were to linger for more than, say, 90 days would the plan still hold together.

/ Old people are old
 
2022-08-17 9:19:09 PM  
Pontiff in a coma
Has a condo made of stone-a
Pope Tut
 
2022-08-17 9:19:35 PM  
Any reporter who uses the phrase "in olden days" needs to be trotted out to the stocks for a week of rehabilitation.
 
2022-08-17 9:21:16 PM  
pontiff in a coma sounds like a clash song
 
2022-08-17 9:22:47 PM  

MrKevvy: [Fark user image image 240x180]

" 'e's just resting!"


It's an older meme but it checks out.

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2022-08-17 9:22:53 PM  

vudukungfu: Ooohh. What if the grand wazoo of the fairy tale zombie dead baby Jesus lost his mind? He would just be another Christian.


It just seems like something an all powerful Gawd could take care of.

If they weren't imaginary sky wizards.
 
2022-08-17 9:23:30 PM  
So you've had a 1000 years and you never came up with a contingency plan?
How stupid are you people?
 
2022-08-17 9:24:13 PM  

Queen Amy: While Jude Law is in a coma, John Malkovich takes over. Anybody who subscribes to HBO knows that!


oh is a coma what happened to him?  because it sure wasn't stasis. i mean he still looks great, but he used to be younger than me. he's starting to get a little bit Clooney.
 
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