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(NYPost)   Cows are sunbathing at a beach in England, prompting the next hysterical Far Side cartoon   (nypost.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, English-language films, Jackie Holden, Sun, Leather, Cowboy, Cattle, Sun tanning, herd of ill-tempered cows  
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2831 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2022 at 11:12 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-16 8:57:14 PM  
Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.
 
2022-08-16 10:24:40 PM  
Cowabunga!
 
2022-08-16 10:44:37 PM  

namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.


How tf did beach autocorrect to bracket?
 
2022-08-16 11:17:21 PM  
swissinfo.chView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 11:18:26 PM  

namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.


I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?
 
2022-08-16 11:21:12 PM  
"Devin?"

"No, Yorkshire."
 
2022-08-16 11:21:59 PM  
How long does a cow need to go tanning to get up to 130 F internal?
 
2022-08-16 11:22:42 PM  

Grumpy Cat: Cowabunga!


SURF NOW! SURF COW! OOO MOO MAO!
 
2022-08-16 11:24:24 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 11:26:04 PM  

ToughActinProlactin: How long does a cow need to go tanning to get up to 130 F internal?


About 25 minutes on fresh blacktop on a sunny day.

Or 5 on a metal slide.
 
2022-08-16 11:28:27 PM  
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 11:28:52 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.

I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?


We're all familiar with your mom.  ;^>

/I kid, I kid!
 
2022-08-16 11:30:32 PM  

Archie Goodwin: "Devin?"


pbs.twimg.comView Full Size


/Nunes.
 
2022-08-16 11:31:19 PM  
That is no way to refer to you mother Subby
 
2022-08-16 11:33:47 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: /Had a cow step on my foot once. You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?


Doesn't hurt nearly as much on the sand, where your foot sinks in. Concern unwarranted.
 
2022-08-16 11:36:54 PM  

cheeseaholic: ToughActinProlactin: How long does a cow need to go tanning to get up to 130 F internal?

About 25 minutes on fresh blacktop on a sunny day.

Or 5 on a metal slide.


Both would get a pretty decent sear, I'd bet.
 
2022-08-16 11:38:02 PM  
I don't think sunbathing is a thing in England, subs
 
2022-08-16 11:48:00 PM  
England has sun?
 
2022-08-16 11:50:21 PM  
Chicks don't like it when you call 'em cows.
 
2022-08-17 12:03:12 AM  

baronbloodbath: Chicks don't like it when you call 'em cows.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 12:17:07 AM  

NevynFox: baronbloodbath: Chicks don't like it when you call 'em cows.

[Fark user image 300x198] [View Full Size image _x_]


So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me. I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"
One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"
I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"
 
2022-08-17 12:18:47 AM  

cryinoutloud: [swissinfo.ch image 469x263]


Veiny!
 
2022-08-17 12:19:23 AM  
Cow poo.
 
2022-08-17 12:26:57 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 12:27:43 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 12:44:01 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 1:06:21 AM  
So, Mrs. Kessler, what brings you in to see me today?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 1:28:48 AM  
"There were people just sunbathing with them yesterday. There were kids swimming among them," she said, adding, "It seemed a little dangerous to be honest."

Nah, this is perfectly safe.  Works great in India.
 
2022-08-17 2:16:13 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 2:32:56 AM  
I'm not going to make up some bs story, but at my last semi long term job , I had to go to Brea. And there's been well kinds of work being done on the 57 , so I would detour through Brea canyon road. It's oil fields and  boy scouts camping area on both sides of the freeway, and it's also good pasture. On the west side, theres a herd of mixed breeds, not quite longhorn, but pretty close , and the young ones the past year are pretty dark in coat, almost black, but some ruddy brown also. Most of the herd is dark yellow to a russet brown.
On the eastern side , there's a large herd ( at least 45 head ) that looks mostly Angus - dark coats , mostly black / very dark brown and red.

I think the owner of the herds mixes it up.

And it made my day when I got a chance to see the new calves , because you can have a shiate day, but that doesn't matter when you see a few calves and their families, just chilling out.
 
2022-08-17 4:29:26 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.

I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?


First off, a market steer will be considerably heavier than 1000 pounds. 1000 pounds is a skinny steer. Bulls can weigh over a ton. My kids raised steers for 4-H. My foot has been stepped on numerous times. My tiny kids (both under 80 pounds) raised steers up to 1400 pounds with zero injuries for three years (new steer each year). Not even a sprained ankle. The lean against your steer when it's laying down pose was a common sight. Kid and critter bonding, gaining trust in each other before show time. Kodak moment.

The cows shown in the article are mostly small. The bigger ones are likely steers (castrated males).  Not likely to charge anybody. Bulls are far and away the biggest assholes in the barnyard. Not even close. But I don't see any bulls in those pics. No lives were in danger.

assets3.cbsnewsstatic.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 4:29:48 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 5:00:27 AM  

phishrace: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.

I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?

First off, a market steer will be considerably heavier than 1000 pounds. 1000 pounds is a skinny steer. Bulls can weigh over a ton. My kids raised steers for 4-H. My foot has been stepped on numerous times. My tiny kids (both under 80 pounds) raised steers up to 1400 pounds with zero injuries for three years (new steer each year). Not even a sprained ankle. The lean against your steer when it's laying down pose was a common sight. Kid and critter bonding, gaining trust in each other before show time. Kodak moment.

The cows shown in the article are mostly small. The bigger ones are likely steers (castrated males).  Not likely to charge anybody. Bulls are far and away the biggest assholes in the barnyard. Not even close. But I don't see any bulls in those pics. No lives were in danger.

[assets3.cbsnewsstatic.com image 850x446]


My grandma grew up on a farm and they had some cattle..She said the milking cows were always very gentle
and loving and would come to her and nuzzle and rub and get petted and scratched on like big dogs..
All the milk cows had names (not something you do with mere food animals) and were very much cared about
in a similar way to the horses..Unlike the chickens..My grandma hated the chickens...
 
2022-08-17 5:27:07 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: phishrace: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.

I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?

First off, a market steer will be considerably heavier than 1000 pounds. 1000 pounds is a skinny steer. Bulls can weigh over a ton. My kids raised steers for 4-H. My foot has been stepped on numerous times. My tiny kids (both under 80 pounds) raised steers up to 1400 pounds with zero injuries for three years (new steer each year). Not even a sprained ankle. The lean against your steer when it's laying down pose was a common sight. Kid and critter bonding, gaining trust in each other before show time. Kodak moment.

The cows shown in the article are mostly small. The bigger ones are likely steers (castrated males).  Not likely to charge anybody. Bulls are far and away the biggest assholes in the barnyard. Not even close. But I don't see any bulls in those pics. No lives were in danger.

[assets3.cbsnewsstatic.com image 850x446]

My grandma grew up on a farm and they had some cattle..She said the milking cows were always very gentle
and loving and would come to her and nuzzle and rub and get petted and scratched on like big dogs..
All the milk cows had names (not something you do with mere food animals) and were very much cared about
in a similar way to the horses..Unlike the chickens..My grandma hated the chickens...


Animals have to have names in 4-H. We encouraged the kids to give their animals names like T-bone or Porkchop, so they didn't forget what the end goal was. It was always tough to see the first year kids give up their animals after auction, but the money from auction softened the blow.
 
2022-08-17 7:31:07 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.

I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?


Married into a family of dairy farmers. Relaxed cows are cuddly.
 
2022-08-17 7:39:15 AM  
CSB
Shortly after my wife & I married (1980) we stayed a few days at my wife's parent's hobby farm. The only livestock they had was capons and a couple of goats. My FIL made a deal with a neighbour cattle farmer to allow his herd to  graze on my FIL's unused pasture.

Note: The closest I'd ever been to a cow was yelling "MOOOOO!" Out the car window as we drove by them.

On this particular day, my FIL was away and my MIL shouted over to me that looking out the kitchen window, all of the cows had found an opening in the fence and were all hanging around the driveway and front yard of the house. My MIL sent me outside with a broom to shoo them back into the pasture.

Did I mention I'd never been close to an actual cow before?

I'm not sure how accurate the rest is, but it's how *I* remember it... I slowly and cautiously crept toward the biggest cow group, armed with my broom. As I got closer, I'm pretty sure it was the "cow leader" who looked directly at me, then I'm pretty sure it bared its fangs at me and snarled a blood-chilling cow grunt in my direction. I'm almost sure I could see the meaty remains of the cow's last victim in its snarling, foam-specked teeth.

Up close, those things are farking HUGE! And they look a lot more vicious than the do when driving past a herd of them... I said "Fark this!", went back in the house and gave the broom back to my MIL and asked for a shotgun. She and my wife gutted themselves laughing and my MIL ultimately went back out and shooed them back inside the fence. So brave, my MIL.

Before they passed away, there hadn't been a single visit to my in-laws in 40 years without *someone* digging up the old "Remember the day Ronron almost got eaten by a cow? Hahaha." Yeah. Funny.

I'm not THAT afraid of cows anymore, since I realized they really AREN'T that much smarter than me! :-)

/CSB
 
2022-08-17 9:42:02 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: phishrace: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: namegoeshere: Why move? Cows are cuddly. I would have leaned right against one and read my bracket book.

I'm guessing you've never spent any significant amount of time around a large number of cows.  Especially inside a structure.  So the outdoor environment will help, but you still need to tread carefully.

/Had a cow step on my foot once.  You know an adult cow can get up around 1000 pounds?

First off, a market steer will be considerably heavier than 1000 pounds. 1000 pounds is a skinny steer. Bulls can weigh over a ton. My kids raised steers for 4-H. My foot has been stepped on numerous times. My tiny kids (both under 80 pounds) raised steers up to 1400 pounds with zero injuries for three years (new steer each year). Not even a sprained ankle. The lean against your steer when it's laying down pose was a common sight. Kid and critter bonding, gaining trust in each other before show time. Kodak moment.

The cows shown in the article are mostly small. The bigger ones are likely steers (castrated males).  Not likely to charge anybody. Bulls are far and away the biggest assholes in the barnyard. Not even close. But I don't see any bulls in those pics. No lives were in danger.

[assets3.cbsnewsstatic.com image 850x446]

My grandma grew up on a farm and they had some cattle..She said the milking cows were always very gentle
and loving and would come to her and nuzzle and rub and get petted and scratched on like big dogs..
All the milk cows had names (not something you do with mere food animals) and were very much cared about
in a similar way to the horses..Unlike the chickens..My grandma hated the chickens...


Great grandma's dairy cows would nose their way into the outhouse in eat the fresh toilet paper. The chickens didn't like anybody, except me for some reason.  I never met the pigs. I was told to just keep away from them.
 
2022-08-17 10:51:29 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Here is a mooooving picture to go with the mooooving article.
 
2022-08-17 10:58:01 AM  

Mock26: [Fark user image 401x640]

Here is a mooooving picture to go with the mooooving article.


I have the weirdest T-Boner right now
 
2022-08-17 12:06:27 PM  

ToughActinProlactin: Mock26: [Fark user image 401x640]

Here is a mooooving picture to go with the mooooving article.

I have the weirdest T-Boner right now


Slow clap
 
2022-08-17 12:35:55 PM  

RonRon893: CSB
Shortly after my wife & I married (1980) we stayed a few days at my wife's parent's hobby farm. The only livestock they had was capons and a couple of goats. My FIL made a deal with a neighbour cattle farmer to allow his herd to  graze on my FIL's unused pasture.

Note: The closest I'd ever been to a cow was yelling "MOOOOO!" Out the car window as we drove by them.

On this particular day, my FIL was away and my MIL shouted over to me that looking out the kitchen window, all of the cows had found an opening in the fence and were all hanging around the driveway and front yard of the house. My MIL sent me outside with a broom to shoo them back into the pasture.

Did I mention I'd never been close to an actual cow before?

I'm not sure how accurate the rest is, but it's how *I* remember it... I slowly and cautiously crept toward the biggest cow group, armed with my broom. As I got closer, I'm pretty sure it was the "cow leader" who looked directly at me, then I'm pretty sure it bared its fangs at me and snarled a blood-chilling cow grunt in my direction. I'm almost sure I could see the meaty remains of the cow's last victim in its snarling, foam-specked teeth.

Up close, those things are farking HUGE! And they look a lot more vicious than the do when driving past a herd of them... I said "Fark this!", went back in the house and gave the broom back to my MIL and asked for a shotgun. She and my wife gutted themselves laughing and my MIL ultimately went back out and shooed them back inside the fence. So brave, my MIL.

Before they passed away, there hadn't been a single visit to my in-laws in 40 years without *someone* digging up the old "Remember the day Ronron almost got eaten by a cow? Hahaha." Yeah. Funny.

I'm not THAT afraid of cows anymore, since I realized they really AREN'T that much smarter than me! :-)

/CSB


What they didn't tell you was the cows ate the first 892 RonRons.
 
2022-08-17 12:36:58 PM  

Mock26: [Fark user image 401x640]

Here is a mooooving picture to go with the mooooving article.


i wood.
 
2022-08-17 3:06:34 PM  

Mock26: [Fark user image 401x640]

Here is a mooooving picture to go with the mooooving article.


i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
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