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(HiConsumption)   The Porsche 959 is one of the rarest ever made by the Stuttgart brand, at fewer than 350. The 959 S is rarer: just 29 rolled off the line. Rarer still is the 959 S prototype--only 3 examples are known to exist. The fastest of those can now be yours   (hiconsumption.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Audi, Volkswagen, Steering, Volkswagen Group, Four-wheel drive, Automotive industry, Porsche 959, Sale  
•       •       •

1279 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 16 Aug 2022 at 3:50 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-16 1:44:00 PM  
I'd still rather have that electric dune buggy from a couple days ago.
 
2022-08-16 1:51:57 PM  
Why is this sick?  Because the average rube can't afford it?

I appreciate it for what it is, wouldn't want to own it.
 
2022-08-16 2:26:13 PM  
well you see, when a Ferrari Testarossa and a VW Beetle love each other very much . . .
 
2022-08-16 3:52:43 PM  
You'll be bidding against Jerry Seinfeld.
 
2022-08-16 4:19:43 PM  

SpaceMonkey-66: Why is this sick?  Because the average rube can't afford it?


English, like most languages, employs slang. Oftentimes this takes the form of adjectives borrowed from their literal meaning to emphasize or exaggerate the magnitude of the speaker's opinion of the subject at hand

In this case (and were they all available from the link submission thingee), this subject might have been referred to as killer, or hot, or awesome,or sweet--or any number of other terms, despite the fact that the car for sale is literally none of those things.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 4:32:27 PM  
FTA:  Acquired by Vasek Polak as a gift from Porsche for his part in helping develop the 959, this 959 S F9 came with strict instructions by the company not to drive it.

He's a prankster.
Think about it.
He gives man... instincts.
He gives you this extraordinary gift,
and then what does He do?

I swear, for his own amusement...
...his own private, cosmic...gag reel...
...He sets the rules in opposition.
It's the goof of all time.
Look, but don't touch.
Touch, but don't taste.
Taste, but don't swallow.
And while you're jumping from one foot
to the next, what is He doing?
He's laughing his sick, farking ass off!
He's a tightass!
He's a sadist!

Yeah, fark that.  Track time, baby.
 
2022-08-16 4:33:43 PM  
If you buy this, plan on buying the other 2.

Triples is best.
 
2022-08-16 4:34:16 PM  
It's just a VW beetle in running shoes
 
2022-08-16 4:36:04 PM  
...even stranger, a four-wheel-drive option.

Yes, a Porsche 959 with AWD, how odd

/ Fewer than 350 AWD 959s are known to exist
 
2022-08-16 4:40:05 PM  
I don't really like the look of the back end. I'm going to pass.
 
2022-08-16 4:40:19 PM  
There are thousands of models that each sports car manufacturer has only a small number of. Every super rich person has an expensive car that only "X" number were made of. Nobody outside a handful of insufferable individuals can tell the difference between any of them, or the version they made thousands of. Just because they only made 3 with that version fender and paintjob doesn't make it meaningfully unique, that just makes it Beanie Babie unique.
 
2022-08-16 4:47:49 PM  
The 959 would probably be the first exotic car I'd buy if I came into fark you money.  Most of my too much money automotive dreams are around special builds.  The 959 I'd just want any working example.
 
2022-08-16 4:50:08 PM  
There exists a huge difference between owning and car like this and purchasinga car like this.
To purchase is a one time expense
To own is a recurring cost.
/I can't own any kind of Porsche
//I can own a Prius
///The difference is not subtile
 
2022-08-16 4:54:24 PM  
Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

cdn.hiconsumption.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 5:18:40 PM  

Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]


Drivetrain swap?
 
2022-08-16 5:24:22 PM  

wiredroach: SpaceMonkey-66: Why is this sick?  Because the average rube can't afford it?

English, like most languages, employs slang. Oftentimes this takes the form of adjectives borrowed from their literal meaning to emphasize or exaggerate the magnitude of the speaker's opinion of the subject at hand

In this case (and were they all available from the link submission thingee), this subject might have been referred to as killer, or hot, or awesome,or sweet--or any number of other terms, despite the fact that the car for sale is literally none of those things.

[Fark user image image 498x368]


No I got that, but I don't think that's what they mean (imho).  If you are subby, carry on....
 
2022-08-16 5:27:07 PM  
Huh. In my admitted total ignorance I looked at the pic and said "reminds me of a few small, sporty late 90s/early 00s cars, not exactly sure what's so special about it" and then noticed the 1985 date. Good looking car for the era it came from and I am usually a sucker for 80s wedge car styling
 
2022-08-16 5:31:15 PM  
no thanks, if i am going to buy a sports car I want to be actually able to drive it.  you know, stand on the Gas pedal when the light goes green and have fund driving along Roads that wind along the river. and not just have it to show off how rich I am.
 
2022-08-16 5:47:14 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: You'll be bidding against Jerry Seinfeld.


Pretty sure jerry has one
According to 30 yo rumors Gates had the first in the country, and Letterman had one at one time
 
2022-08-16 6:01:43 PM  

wiredroach: SpaceMonkey-66: Why is this sick?  Because the average rube can't afford it?

English, like most languages, employs slang. Oftentimes this takes the form of adjectives borrowed from their literal meaning to emphasize or exaggerate the magnitude of the speaker's opinion of the subject at hand

In this case (and were they all available from the link submission thingee), this subject might have been referred to as killer, or hot, or awesome,or sweet--or any number of other terms, despite the fact that the car for sale is literally none of those things.

[Fark user image 498x368] [View Full Size image _x_]


Somewhere, Rick Romero wipes a tear from his eye, and nods proudly, just once
 
2022-08-16 6:07:51 PM  
I can attest to this car's awesomeness. I know because I drove it many times in NFS Porsche edition.
 
2022-08-16 6:27:23 PM  

Evil High Priest: I can attest to this car's awesomeness. I know because I drove it many times in NFS Porsche edition.


I'm sure you actually meant Test Drive II: THE DUEL

THE DUEL Test Drive II Porsche 959 VS Ferrari F40 on Amiga
Youtube Km1DrCah-zQ


/Game over, man...GAME OVER!
 
2022-08-16 6:35:24 PM  

Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]


Porsche factory overalls:

th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 6:53:09 PM  
That's a gorgeous ride, good luck ever getting to see one in person.  Though I'm with Doug on the Carrera GT ->

Here's Why the Porsche Carrera GT Is My Favorite Car Ever Made
Youtube AgFXR-HUlBw
 
2022-08-16 7:44:59 PM  
Porsche LIED about why they didn't sell the 959 in the US!
Youtube LQNywQbtofI
 
2022-08-16 7:48:23 PM  

ZMugg: Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]

Drivetrain swap?


Trying to change a fouled plug on a rear mount twin turbo flat 6 without following Porsche's recommended Step 1 of "Remove engine from vehicle"...
 
2022-08-16 7:55:46 PM  
Hope there's room in Jerry Seinfeld's garage for this one
 
2022-08-16 7:55:49 PM  

mcmnky: If you buy this, plan on buying the other 2.

Triples is best.


Yup. One for loaning to friends, one for personal use, and one to keep in mint condition for display.
 
2022-08-16 7:56:10 PM  

Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]


Just like with an old school beetle, you have to adjust the valves every few hundred miles.
 
2022-08-16 8:05:43 PM  
Group B and to a lesser extent Group A: two of the best car rule sets ever...

Pity the USA car makers never really made any real group A/B cars...guess they didn't want to risk getting mashed into the ground by the rest of the world.
 
2022-08-16 8:18:49 PM  

Odd Bird: FTA:  Acquired by Vasek Polak as a gift from Porsche for his part in helping develop the 959, this 959 S F9 came with strict instructions by the company not to drive it.

He's a prankster.
Think about it.
He gives man... instincts.
He gives you this extraordinary gift,
and then what does He do?

I swear, for his own amusement...
...his own private, cosmic...gag reel...
...He sets the rules in opposition.
It's the goof of all time.
Look, but don't touch.
Touch, but don't taste.
Taste, but don't swallow.
And while you're jumping from one foot
to the next, what is He doing?
He's laughing his sick, farking ass off!
He's a tightass!
He's a sadist!

Yeah, fark that.  Track time, baby.


I've heard that if you time the shifting just right, you don't even need the clutch.
 
2022-08-16 8:27:57 PM  

Boomstickz: Group B and to a lesser extent Group A: two of the best car rule sets ever...

Pity the USA car makers never really made any real group A/B cars...guess they didn't want to risk getting mashed into the ground by the rest of the world.


...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...

Fark user imageView Full Size

Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.

/The RS200, however, sits firmly in UK hands, and exists on a plane of automobilia alongside the MB 1955 SL Gullwing, Lotus 1997 Espirit V8 GT SE, 2005 Ford GT, Toyota 1983 Celica Supra, Chevy 1974 Corvette Mako and a smattering of classics as a supermodel of design.
 
2022-08-16 8:43:12 PM  

Jedekai: Boomstickz: Group B and to a lesser extent Group A: two of the best car rule sets ever...

Pity the USA car makers never really made any real group A/B cars...guess they didn't want to risk getting mashed into the ground by the rest of the world.

...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...

[Fark user image image 425x239]
Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.

/The RS200, however, sits firmly in UK hands, and exists on a plane of automobilia alongside the MB 1955 SL Gullwing, Lotus 1997 Espirit V8 GT SE, 2005 Ford GT, Toyota 1983 Celica Supra, Chevy 1974 Corvette Mako and a smattering of classics as a supermodel of design.


99% of people look at it as a uk car
 
2022-08-16 9:02:28 PM  

Boomstickz: Jedekai: Boomstickz: Group B and to a lesser extent Group A: two of the best car rule sets ever...

Pity the USA car makers never really made any real group A/B cars...guess they didn't want to risk getting mashed into the ground by the rest of the world.

...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...

[Fark user image image 425x239]
Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.

/The RS200, however, sits firmly in UK hands, and exists on a plane of automobilia alongside the MB 1955 SL Gullwing, Lotus 1997 Espirit V8 GT SE, 2005 Ford GT, Toyota 1983 Celica Supra, Chevy 1974 Corvette Mako and a smattering of classics as a supermodel of design.

99% of people look at it as a uk car


No one with a single brain cell looks at it as a U.K. car. I have seen two different ones in person, and the owners will tell you it raced under the Union Jack second, and the Stars and Stripes, first.

It was a 'weasel'. Snuck in under the rules as a foreign-built, nationally-sold model.

/Same way Ford got the SVT Cobra and Nissan the Skyline GT-R into FIA GT. There are five (5) U.S. Skyline GTS in the States made to quota. There are 5 (five) non-GT Mustangs in Japan. They are the only ones built for their respective countries until 2006.
 
2022-08-16 9:06:18 PM  

born_yesterday: Odd Bird: FTA:  Acquired by Vasek Polak as a gift from Porsche for his part in helping develop the 959, this 959 S F9 came with strict instructions by the company not to drive it.

He's a prankster.
Think about it.
He gives man... instincts.
He gives you this extraordinary gift,
and then what does He do?

I swear, for his own amusement...
...his own private, cosmic...gag reel...
...He sets the rules in opposition.
It's the goof of all time.
Look, but don't touch.
Touch, but don't taste.
Taste, but don't swallow.
And while you're jumping from one foot
to the next, what is He doing?
He's laughing his sick, farking ass off!
He's a tightass!
He's a sadist!

Yeah, fark that.  Track time, baby.

I've heard that if you time the shifting just right, you don't even need the clutch.


Pretty much any car you can change gear without the clutch. I had the clutch cable go on my old Renault 5 and I drive it for a week changing gear with no clutch. Starting off means putting it in gear and starting the engine and it goes. Stopping is just slipping it out of gear. It's just a matter of getting the revs right.
 
2022-08-16 9:17:27 PM  

Jedekai: ...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...


Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.


Cosworth is a British company, and "engine modifications" hardly sums up what they did to the engine. Ford used some American suspension parts, but it was a European project and most of the engineering was British/European, and it was only ever built in right hand drive.
 
2022-08-16 9:21:32 PM  
So it will end up in some Middle East dipshiat's collection or some other asshole's. I don't even get the point of lusting after these things.
 
2022-08-16 9:41:34 PM  
No thanks, Subby, I'm still making payments on a 2015 Honda Fit I got last year.
 
ecl
2022-08-16 10:03:17 PM  
I want to see Undertaker race this vs John Cena in his Mustang GT Shelby.  If the give them guns to shoot at each other with I will explode.  MAGA!~
 
2022-08-16 10:06:08 PM  

Jedekai: Boomstickz: Jedekai: Boomstickz: Group B and to a lesser extent Group A: two of the best car rule sets ever...

Pity the USA car makers never really made any real group A/B cars...guess they didn't want to risk getting mashed into the ground by the rest of the world.

...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...

[Fark user image image 425x239]
Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.

/The RS200, however, sits firmly in UK hands, and exists on a plane of automobilia alongside the MB 1955 SL Gullwing, Lotus 1997 Espirit V8 GT SE, 2005 Ford GT, Toyota 1983 Celica Supra, Chevy 1974 Corvette Mako and a smattering of classics as a supermodel of design.

99% of people look at it as a uk car

No one with a single brain cell looks at it as a U.K. car. I have seen two different ones in person, and the owners will tell you it raced under the Union Jack second, and the Stars and Stripes, first.

It was a 'weasel'. Snuck in under the rules as a foreign-built, nationally-sold model.

/Same way Ford got the SVT Cobra and Nissan the Skyline GT-R into FIA GT. There are five (5) U.S. Skyline GTS in the States made to quota. There are 5 (five) non-GT Mustangs in Japan. They are the only ones built for their respective countries until 2006.


It's a uk car
It's the final insane Killer B evolution of the Escort Cosworth, us isn't known for its rich rallying tradition
 
2022-08-16 10:28:15 PM  

Jedekai: Boomstickz: Jedekai: Boomstickz: Group B and to a lesser extent Group A: two of the best car rule sets ever...

Pity the USA car makers never really made any real group A/B cars...guess they didn't want to risk getting mashed into the ground by the rest of the world.

...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...

[Fark user image image 425x239]
Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.

/The RS200, however, sits firmly in UK hands, and exists on a plane of automobilia alongside the MB 1955 SL Gullwing, Lotus 1997 Espirit V8 GT SE, 2005 Ford GT, Toyota 1983 Celica Supra, Chevy 1974 Corvette Mako and a smattering of classics as a supermodel of design.

99% of people look at it as a uk car

No one with a single brain cell looks at it as a U.K. car. I have seen two different ones in person, and the owners will tell you it raced under the Union Jack second, and the Stars and Stripes, first.

It was a 'weasel'. Snuck in under the rules as a foreign-built, nationally-sold model.

/Same way Ford got the SVT Cobra and Nissan the Skyline GT-R into FIA GT. There are five (5) U.S. Skyline GTS in the States made to quota. There are 5 (five) non-GT Mustangs in Japan. They are the only ones built for their respective countries until 2006.


Yeah and I got to see them racing in their heyday. It was referred to as a UK car then.

The only cars called a US car (at least in aus group A) where the odd mustang

/even got to see a r32 group A skyline slide past on its roof in person...
 
2022-08-16 11:12:06 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: Jedekai: ...ARE YOU FARKING HIGH?...


Group A - and aside from engine modifications and bodywork, it's a U.S. Foxbox Mustang SVO. It did okay.

Cosworth is a British company, and "engine modifications" hardly sums up what they did to the engine. Ford used some American suspension parts, but it was a European project and most of the engineering was British/European, and it was only ever built in right hand drive.


...it's like calling all Holden's German because some models used German front doors
 
2022-08-16 11:59:04 PM  

DarnoKonrad: well you see, when a Ferrari Testarossa and a VW Beetle love each other very much . . .


I thought that would be a Karmann Ghia.
 
2022-08-16 11:59:54 PM  

FigPucker: Evil High Priest: I can attest to this car's awesomeness. I know because I drove it many times in NFS Porsche edition.

I'm sure you actually meant Test Drive II: THE DUEL

[YouTube video: THE DUEL Test Drive II Porsche 959 VS Ferrari F40 on Amiga]

/Game over, man...GAME OVER!


Not necessarily

Fark user imageView Full Size


/ DLC
 
2022-08-17 12:01:23 AM  

ZMugg: Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]

Drivetrain swap?


I was thinking transaxle replacement.
But it appear the Jack is under the block.
 
2022-08-17 12:05:17 AM  

Mr. Eugenides: Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]

Just like with an old school beetle, you have to adjust the valves every few hundred miles.


Fark user imageView Full Size
I drive my Karmann Ghia three or four times a week. I have never adjusted the valves since I built it six years ago..
 
2022-08-17 1:34:25 AM  
My Turbo S build arrived in Emden Port on 7/21. Estimated time to ship, 8/26. 3-4 Week labor strike was supposedly the reason for the delay. Hope I get it before October!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-17 2:07:08 AM  

paulleah: Mr. Eugenides: Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]

Just like with an old school beetle, you have to adjust the valves every few hundred miles.

[Fark user image image 425x318]I drive my Karmann Ghia three or four times a week. I have never adjusted the valves since I built it six years ago..


Let me guess, you got a Bernie Bergmann motor with hydraulic lifters ?

I've had plenty of air cooled VW's, but I have always wanted a 3 something liter 911. But I can't do standards anymore due to my knees. sigh
 
2022-08-17 9:01:27 PM  

Odd Bird: FTA:  Acquired by Vasek Polak as a gift from Porsche for his part in helping develop the 959, this 959 S F9 came with strict instructions by the company not to drive it.

....

Yeah, fark that.  Track time, baby.


I might be a little concerned about getting one of the prototypes and Porsche is telling me NOT to drive it.

Did Porsche discover that it's a rolling deathtrap? That it might explode if you put it in gear?

Leave it in the garage and sell it in 20 years with 4 miles on the odometer. Let someone else beta-test it.
 
2022-08-17 11:05:52 PM  

alienated: paulleah: Mr. Eugenides: Mikey1969: Some captions would have been nice. These people don't look like pros, but this also doesn't look like just a flat tire change, either...

[cdn.hiconsumption.com image 680x454]

Just like with an old school beetle, you have to adjust the valves every few hundred miles.

[Fark user image image 425x318]I drive my Karmann Ghia three or four times a week. I have never adjusted the valves since I built it six years ago..

Let me guess, you got a Bernie Bergmann motor with hydraulic lifters ?

I've had plenty of air cooled VW's, but I have always wanted a 3 something liter 911. But I can't do standards anymore due to my knees. sigh


Stock Brazilian 1600 dual port. It has an Audi logo on it, so it's probably mid-eighties early nineties vintage. It has no float and runs beautifully, so I never do anything to it.

Mechanical distributor with points, btw.
 
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