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(Good Morning America)   Woman, 99, has more great-grandchildren than earthly years behind her   (goodmorningamerica.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, 99-year-old woman, GMA  
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2075 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2022 at 5:30 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-16 5:33:21 AM  
I'll pay for every one of those great grand children to go to college if she can name all of them.
 
2022-08-16 5:38:59 AM  
OK Doomer.


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2022-08-16 5:40:08 AM  

Ragin' Asian: I'll pay for every one of those great grand children to go to college if she can name all of them.


Careful. That's an old-people superpower. She can probably do it and give you an entire family history of each one.
 
2022-08-16 5:40:35 AM  
She's got 99 problems but a kid ain't one.
 
2022-08-16 5:44:56 AM  
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 5:55:18 AM  
That's sort of the goal. You can complain, but it's the root of why we do things,
 
2022-08-16 5:56:03 AM  
Bet her uterus fell out years ago.
 
2022-08-16 6:03:42 AM  
Eleven times this woman had sex and essentially spawned 167 people.
 
2022-08-16 6:05:51 AM  
That means each generation had approximately 4.6 children per. That .6 child was really ugly.
 
2022-08-16 6:15:20 AM  
Disgusting.
 
2022-08-16 6:30:43 AM  
Put down the dick
 
2022-08-16 6:34:32 AM  
Family couldn't pull out of a driveway.
 
2022-08-16 6:41:29 AM  
"It was a race to 100," Stokes Balster explained.

I just imagined all the men and women of the family, perfectly lined up side by side, and the granny yells "BEGIN THE IMPREGNATION!" and everyone starts pumping their wives furiously. After BLASTING their family seed, old granny rubs her hands together and happily states "Success, success!"
 
2022-08-16 6:55:18 AM  
This lady is an ecological disaster.
 
2022-08-16 6:56:02 AM  
See, this is why we need the schools to start teaching children to be vegan homosexuals but, the Republicans are passing laws against that. They feel that children should get their sex education in church, one-on-one with their preachers and pastors.

Yeah, I'm not sure my plan would work, anyway. How could you possibly teach someone to be vegan? You're either born with that mental disorder or... yes, fine, it was removed from the DSM, it's a lifestyle disorder. Umm, deficiency. Whatever. Meat-impairment deficiency. The important thing is, it makes them too weak to breed.

You'd think Republicans would be too stupid to breed but, honestly, they'll just put a dick in anything, any time.
 
2022-08-16 7:01:32 AM  

lizaardvark: See, this is why we need the schools to start teaching children to be vegan homosexuals but, the Republicans are passing laws against that. They feel that children should get their sex education in church, one-on-one with their preachers and pastors.

Yeah, I'm not sure my plan would work, anyway. How could you possibly teach someone to be vegan? You're either born with that mental disorder or... yes, fine, it was removed from the DSM, it's a lifestyle disorder. Umm, deficiency. Whatever. Meat-impairment deficiency. The important thing is, it makes them too weak to breed.

You'd think Republicans would be too stupid to breed but, honestly, they'll just put a dick in anything, any time.


Hence the term *Dick Nixon, before he dicks you*.
 
2022-08-16 7:04:13 AM  
She is almost 100, maybe a 100th great-grandchild will come in due time.
 
2022-08-16 7:05:21 AM  

kdawg7736: She is almost 100, maybe a 100th great-grandchild will come in due time.


She met #100 already and #101 was apparently on the way shortly after.
 
2022-08-16 7:13:56 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 7:15:45 AM  
The more children, the more love.
 
2022-08-16 7:19:13 AM  
Her 11 kids averaged over 5 kids each, but the next generation has less than two kids apiece.. So far.
 
2022-08-16 7:22:09 AM  
No amount of driving a hybrid or electric car, being vegan, or recycling/reusing everything can help the earth as much as not having ONE child.
 
2022-08-16 7:25:26 AM  
There is a FB associate on my list that if she lives that long (I kind of doubt it) will be around that. She has 11 living adult children by 3 husbands, grandchildren in the 40s, about 20 great-grands, and 5 great-great grands. There just wasn't that much to do in UP in those days.
 
2022-08-16 7:35:56 AM  

kdawg7736: The more children, the more love.


Thank you, Mother Theresa.
 
2022-08-16 7:39:04 AM  
And, on the Polar opposite side, my wife and I chose not to have any biological kids. We just fostered, then adopted one that was in need. I doubt there will be any news articles about us. And I'm fine with that. I'm very proud of what we have done. And our daughter is such an amazing person.
 
2022-08-16 7:44:39 AM  

Supadope: And, on the Polar opposite side, my wife and I chose not to have any biological kids. We just fostered, then adopted one that was in need. I doubt there will be any news articles about us. And I'm fine with that. I'm very proud of what we have done. And our daughter is such an amazing person.


And thus the "not having kids" gene loses it's 7.5 billionth round in a row against it's nemesis the "having kids" gene.
 
2022-08-16 7:45:55 AM  
Congratulations, you are good at what ever living thing on this planet does. Reproduce. Spectacular, you can f*ck! You deserve a medal!

//oh and no, your penis is not small!
 
2022-08-16 8:09:38 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 8:09:43 AM  

ubermensch: Put down the dick


Oh, she did
 
2022-08-16 8:16:04 AM  
2 children
4 grandchildren
8 great grandchildren

/Enough for anyone
//Drown the rest
///Seriously excessive procreation is not clever or to be rewarded
 
2022-08-16 8:23:01 AM  

cfreak: Ragin' Asian: I'll pay for every one of those great grand children to go to college if she can name all of them.

Careful. That's an old-people superpower. She can probably do it and give you an entire family history of each one.


All of it existing only in her head
 
2022-08-16 8:26:21 AM  
"Stokes Balster" is a very porny name.
 
2022-08-16 8:30:29 AM  
The only thing shocking in that story is that she has made it to 99 after spitting out that many kids. You would think her uterus would have fallen out by now. Seriously I get it, 100 years ago you had a metric ton of kids simply because they were your workforce around the farm / family business. Hell, when I was a teenager we either worked for farmers or did stuff like roofing during the summers to make spending cash. Child labor laws didn't really apply to these jobs as much since we worked for family members or the families of friends.
I spent one summer working with my best friend doing roofing with his grandad. It was a good job and taught me how to do roofing so i dont have to call anyone to fix my roof if it has issues and also that i never wanted to do that as a career. Yes i call people to fix my roof now because I'm old and would die if i did it now but I have repaired my roof myself before when it got damaged.
 
2022-08-16 8:34:20 AM  
I would hate just usual round of bdays per year....

And holy shiat, Xmas would be expensive.

Who hosts that shiat?
 
2022-08-16 8:37:28 AM  

kdawg7736: She is almost 100, maybe a 100th great-grandchild will come in due time.


That's what the article is about. The birth of her 100th grandchild and thus the headline mentioning her having MORE grandchildren than years.

I had to read the article curious as to o how many kids she had. It was 11.
 
2022-08-16 8:38:48 AM  

Netrngr: Seriously I get it, 100 years ago you had a metric ton of kids simply because they were your workforce around the farm / family business.


They had a lot of kids 100 years ago because half of those kids would die before reaching adulthood.
 
2022-08-16 8:39:28 AM  

jamspoon: 2 children
4 grandchildren
8 great grandchildren

/Enough for anyone
//Drown the rest
///Seriously excessive procreation is not clever or to be rewarded


I have one child who had three kids. I'm playing on the law of averages. It works out to two kids between us.
 
2022-08-16 8:40:59 AM  

Archie Goodwin: [preview.redd.it image 479x270]


I was hoping someone would post this. And Elon Musk says the world is vastly UNDER populated. 🙄
 
2022-08-16 8:55:29 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 9:43:01 AM  

ubermensch: Put down the dick


NEVAR!1!

/ahem
 
2022-08-16 10:05:30 AM  
Meanwhile, I'm 30, have never been in a serious relationship, am a virgin, and working for a think tank in a country where I've been a naturalized citizen. At the same time, my hundred-year-old grandmother's only great-grandchild is a product of her other grandson, who doesn't even have a college diploma, let alone three like me. And I feel like a slouch reading this article.
 
2022-08-16 10:28:52 AM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: No amount of driving a hybrid or electric car, being vegan, or recycling/reusing everything can help the earth as much as not having ONE child.


YOUR child.  People in African can have five children, but they'll never do as much damage as your single child.  They'll never get the chance.  You already used it all.

Fark user imageView Full Size


You guys are "far right" right?   Only on some subjects.......

Fark user imageView Full Size


slideplayer.comView Full Size


Now go get your sterilization, so that you won't get a terrible surprise and have to share with anyone. HURRY.

/I can see why you're all so proud of your child-free status.  More for you.
//Next time you  wonder why the country is so farked up, look in the mirror.
 
2022-08-16 10:53:14 AM  

cryinoutloud: Spawn_of_Cthulhu: No amount of driving a hybrid or electric car, being vegan, or recycling/reusing everything can help the earth as much as not having ONE child.

YOUR child.  People in African can have five children, but they'll never do as much damage as your single child.  They'll never get the chance.  You already used it all.

[Fark user image image 450x255]

You guys are "far right" right?   Only on some subjects.......

[Fark user image image 408x358]

[slideplayer.com image 463x348]

Now go get your sterilization, so that you won't get a terrible surprise and have to share with anyone. HURRY.

/I can see why you're all so proud of your child-free status.  More for you.
//Next time you  wonder why the country is so farked up, look in the mirror.


This is the first time I've ever been accused of being far right and racist for being child free.

I did my part to help the world--all colors of people--by not reproducing.

I'm an only child of 2 only children so my genes are dead. No regrets.
 
2022-08-16 11:06:50 AM  

Netrngr: jamspoon: 2 children
4 grandchildren
8 great grandchildren

/Enough for anyone
//Drown the rest
///Seriously excessive procreation is not clever or to be rewarded

I have one child who had three kids. I'm playing on the law of averages. It works out to two kids between us.


Exponential growth is a wonderful thing, you don't need big numbers to start.

You started with one and now presumably have 5 (child + partner + 3 kids). I started with 2 and now have 6 (2 kids + one partner & one child each). Maths.
 
2022-08-16 1:29:50 PM  

Snargi: Netrngr: Seriously I get it, 100 years ago you had a metric ton of kids simply because they were your workforce around the farm / family business.

They had a lot of kids 100 years ago because half of those kids would die before reaching adulthood.


I've done a lot of genealogy, and there are MANY instances in my family tree of "baby (lastname)" who died before its first birthday.  They wouldn't give the kid a name until after its first birthday.

Also many instances of a sibling being named the same as an older sibling who had died.  I'm assuming they wanted that particular name to live on, and didn't mind reusing it on the 2nd kid.
 
2022-08-16 4:54:18 PM  
Sure seems like some sort of pyramid scheme to me.
 
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