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(Daily Mail)   Apparently having a front yard full of topiary dicks does not help sell the place   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Silly  
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4083 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2022 at 9:32 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-15 6:56:28 PM  
There's a house in Watch Hill like that. I'd like to think it's the one Becky lives in
 
2022-08-15 7:24:12 PM  
Dibs on Topiary Dicks for my band's name.
 
2022-08-15 8:17:07 PM  
Somebody needs a better agent
 
2022-08-15 8:28:09 PM  
"...still on the market almost a year after it was on sale. Since then the property has gone up in price by £75,000."

I think I see the problem.
 
2022-08-15 9:35:32 PM  
Amateurs.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-15 9:36:41 PM  
It's a hard sell.
 
2022-08-15 9:39:04 PM  
His name is Richard Bush. You don't get to call him Topiary Dick until you've known him as long as I have.
 
2022-08-15 9:41:20 PM  
I hope during the holidays the owner plays Monty Python's "Isn't It Awfully Nice to Have a Penis" on repeat while decorative lights strobe in rhythm.
 
2022-08-15 9:42:19 PM  

NathanAllen: Amateurs.

[Fark user image image 425x236]


Nancy Reagan?

A fine bush.
 
2022-08-15 9:44:00 PM  
"leading local school children to dub it 'Willy House'."

Ask me about that time I took subby's mom to the Willy house.
 
TWX
2022-08-15 9:45:09 PM  
No no no!  I wanted to to put the bush trimming on a schedule annually!
 
TWX
2022-08-15 9:49:19 PM  

Kalyco Jack: "leading local school children to dub it 'Willy House'."

Ask me about that time I took subby's mom to the Willy house.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-15 9:51:52 PM  
I read that as "topiary ducks" and am now sadly disappointed.
 
2022-08-15 9:52:54 PM  
Sometimes I think I just dreamed this weird commercial existed.

Topiary (Schick Hydro Silk® TrimStyle® :30sec Version)
Youtube d3K8k5j-Fbk
 
2022-08-15 9:54:13 PM  
That is very obvious, and is not helping sell the house. You would think they would hire a landscaping company to make them not look like penises.
 
2022-08-15 9:58:54 PM  
Sir Thomas bought into the estate house after a  short and disastrous marriage.  His bride left him soon after the wedding, after getting a look at his very bad circumcision.   A broken man, he fled to the estate house for the peace.  Soon after he moves in, he flings open the dusty curtains to take a look at his new yardery

i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size
 
2022-08-15 10:03:00 PM  
thesilo.caView Full Size
 
2022-08-15 10:03:44 PM  

AlgaeRancher: Somebody needs a better agent


Doesn't need an agent , He needs a Mohel ..
 
2022-08-15 10:07:58 PM  
Can they take the hedges with them when they relocate?  Or would that just be a topiary dick move?
 
Pew
2022-08-15 10:08:22 PM  
'Standing further back is the handsome house with its farmhouse character, period details and generous accommodation.'
Better have generous accommodation with willies that size.
 
2022-08-15 10:15:35 PM  
If the hedgedicks bring down the price I'd buy it and get rid of them when I moved in.
 
2022-08-15 10:20:46 PM  
surprised Elton John isn't all over this. or John Waters.
 
2022-08-15 10:21:26 PM  

lindalouwho: Dibs on Topiary Dicks for my band's name.


Is it a Buzzcocks cover band?
 
2022-08-15 11:06:51 PM  

mikalmd: AlgaeRancher: Somebody needs a better agent

Doesn't need an agent , He needs a Mohel ..


They already look... um... "clipped" to me.

/"Too Jewish!"
 
2022-08-15 11:09:32 PM  
I wonder if the town council has any say about the bushes. I'm sure the house is on some sort of registry, being 200+ years old, so not much you can do to the house without approval.

Those bushes? Cut them down and put in a proper English hedge.
 
2022-08-15 11:28:29 PM  
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2022-08-15 11:32:22 PM  

indy_kid: I wonder if the town council has any say about the bushes. I'm sure the house is on some sort of registry, being 200+ years old, so not much you can do to the house without approval.

Those bushes? Cut them down and put in a proper English hedge.


No help there - people have been doing topiary in stupid shapes forever.  That rings around the middle look is actually a 'classic' topiary form

/classic in single quotes 'cause it's been around forever but imo looks like shiat
 
2022-08-16 12:15:13 AM  

baronbloodbath: NathanAllen: Amateurs.

[Fark user image image 425x236]

Nancy Reagan?

A fine bush.


If you want old Bush, here you go.
Young Bush is not any younger these days.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-16 12:43:17 AM  
And before anyone asks, yes, we do have chainsaws in the UK...
 
2022-08-16 1:18:54 AM  
I totally thought that said "Topiary Ducks".  Who doesn't love a topiary duck?
 
2022-08-16 5:36:33 AM  

Micanope: I totally thought that said "Topiary Ducks".  Who doesn't love a topiary duck?


Glad I'm not the only one. I clicked on the article and was very confused.
 
2022-08-16 9:02:32 AM  
WHAT!!?? Since when?

Well, apparently I have a ton of landscaping to redo this weekend.
 
2022-08-16 10:26:25 AM  

Badafuco: lindalouwho: Dibs on Topiary Dicks for my band's name.

Is it a Buzzcocks cover band?


Heh, partly. One thing I know for sure is that we cover Sheila Wilcoxson's Testosterone Poisoning

/ I've posted that song before, but I can't find that particular one right now for some reason .
 
2022-08-16 12:10:39 PM  
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2022-08-16 3:23:15 PM  

Micanope: I totally thought that said "Topiary Ducks".  Who doesn't love a topiary duck?


They're despicable.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
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