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(YouTube)   "I edited together all of Joe Friday's lectures from the Jack Webb TV show DRAGNET 1967-1970. Over one hour of Joe Friday screaming at hippies, punks, drunks, juvenile delinquents, and even fellow cops..." For lulz, and Farkers who grew up on Dragnet   (youtube.com) divider line
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228 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 15 Aug 2022 at 9:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-15 8:20:18 AM  
Ah, the memories. Thanks, subby! Good find.
 
2022-08-15 8:21:59 AM  
They allow fark.com in the retirement home?
 
2022-08-15 8:24:19 AM  

NewportBarGuy: They allow fark.com in the retirement home?


Yes, but only after your tapioca pudding and before your vodak.
 
2022-08-15 8:37:45 AM  
And then, when marijuana was not a great enough satan, they invented crack in da hood.
 
2022-08-15 8:44:49 AM  
Hey Joe thanks you and all the propaganda had me scared to death of LSD

https://www.fark.com/comments/12512668/LSD-may-actually-be-good-for-your-brain-What-a-trip
 
2022-08-15 9:25:17 AM  
I was meanin' to show Sgt Friday's sermon on the dangers of drugs to the Timothy Leary clone to my younguns. Tnanks.
 
2022-08-15 9:32:11 AM  
Sgt Joe's lectures never scared me...apparently.
 
2022-08-15 9:40:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user image

Street names: Molly, Maggie, May, Marg, Marge, Peggy and/or Peg.

What I'm trying to tell you, Mrs. Burnsides is that your daughter Margaret has been getting high on the nicknames, and if you don't intervene now, she may end up spending the rest of her life being addicted to the terse and pithy.
 
2022-08-15 9:52:09 AM  
Dragnet and old westerns taught old people everything they know about law and history.
 
2022-08-15 9:57:39 AM  
Ok Boomers
 
2022-08-15 10:07:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-15 10:34:39 AM  
I gotta say, Jack Webb milked the shiat out of that cash cow. Almost 700 episodes between radio and TV. LAPD retired his badge number when he died.
 
2022-08-15 10:49:44 AM  
"I'm not gonna give you a lecture - I don't have the time. I'm just gonna lay it out to you straight. So, you listen to me.  You tippy around with marihuana long enough and you're going to buy yourself a lot of grief. After a while, marihuana won't be enough; you'll start looking for a bigger kick. And the a bigger one after that...

"...Think about the guy you bought it from. You think he has a wife, a nice child, a home? No junkies do. They spend most of their time sick, or in jail... Don't take my word for it - take a look at the guy you bought it from. And look hard, fella - because you're looking hard in the mirror..."
Fark user imageView Full Size

Yaay NJ. If this is my mirror, I'm OK. Especially with a 5% stake...
 
2022-08-15 10:57:55 AM  
Not the best of the versions (they released a few versions), but still good stuff.

The Art of Noise - Dragnet (Official Video)
Youtube 7y5U2N891E0
 
2022-08-15 10:59:14 AM  
Better version.

/You got a lot of repressed feelings, don't ya, Friday?

Art Of Noise - Dragnet '88 (Art Of Noise 12'' Mix)
Youtube wrtok9bzscI
 
2022-08-15 11:01:52 AM  
guy:  What would you do if you were me?

Friday: Mind if I wait a while , till I'm you.
 
2022-08-15 11:54:09 AM  
[Fark user image 736x414]
Yaay NJ. If this is my mirror, I'm OK. Especially with a 5% stake...


Just sayin, my local liquor store doesn't piss away money on bullshiat decor. There's a shop near me, Planet 13 that's a farking joke. You know you're getting ripped the fark off when a store is commissioning original art.
 
2022-08-15 12:13:04 PM  

perigee: "I'm not gonna give you a lecture - I don't have the time. I'm just gonna lay it out to you straight. So, you listen to me.  You tippy around with marihuana long enough and you're going to buy yourself a lot of grief. After a while, marihuana won't be enough; you'll start looking for a bigger kick. And the a bigger one after that...

"...Think about the guy you bought it from. You think he has a wife, a nice child, a home? No junkies do. They spend most of their time sick, or in jail... Don't take my word for it - take a look at the guy you bought it from. And look hard, fella - because you're looking hard in the mirror..."
[Fark user image 736x414]
Yaay NJ. If this is my mirror, I'm OK. Especially with a 5% stake...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-15 12:24:37 PM  

drewogatory: [Fark user image 736x414]
Yaay NJ. If this is my mirror, I'm OK. Especially with a 5% stake...

Just sayin, my local liquor store doesn't piss away money on bullshiat decor. There's a shop near me, Planet 13 that's a farking joke. You know you're getting ripped the fark off when a store is commissioning original art.


Dunno - I certainly don't agree, and here's why.

I know street prices; Jersey hasn't been selling legal all that long, you know. And, if you want something stronger than dirt weed, to get REAL Quality, it runs about 400 bucks quarter out there.

Now - what does 400 get you on the street? "Good Stuff." "Dank." "Tear You Up." Different every time, and the experience, IF it comes off, is not replicable. Next time, he might not have what he had this time.

I can go into a hoidy shop, and choose from 20 branded, Highly Replicable, Tightly Quality Controlled strains. Same price. What used to go in Cosmo's pocket get's tossed into The Experience.

Why? THAT's where things get fun.

Because Barbie And Ken, Thurston and Lovey, suddenly free to try, aren't going down and loiter on the corner for Cosmo, and they aren't going to go to a Mart Headshop with patchouli insense burning, a ceramic buddha, a black light poster of Marley and some plastic bongs.

They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.

It's a wide open, all new market, and you have to look at how widely you can penetrate the market. OtherLittleGuy has a picture there - that dude and his worked-on wife, if they decide to get wasted, are coming to Hoidyville to buy. Every. Single. Week.
 
2022-08-15 12:37:54 PM  
I watched the 50th anniversary show for Emergency! over the weekend. When Adam 12 went off the air, Webb didn't have a show on TV anymore so he reached out to Jim Page (not Jimmy) to develope a new show. He wanted it to be set in an ER so when Page went to observe some, he noticed the EMTs bringing in patients and wanted to know what that was about. He took the idea to Webb about making the show about this new thing where firemen were trained to give certain kinds of emergency medical treatment in the field and get people to hospitals with speed. Emergency! premiered and people all over the country watched and wanted to know why their cities didn't have this service and the 911 system was born. Thanks, Jack!
 
2022-08-15 12:39:05 PM  

perigee: drewogatory: [Fark user image 736x414]
Yaay NJ. If this is my mirror, I'm OK. Especially with a 5% stake...

Just sayin, my local liquor store doesn't piss away money on bullshiat decor. There's a shop near me, Planet 13 that's a farking joke. You know you're getting ripped the fark off when a store is commissioning original art.

Dunno - I certainly don't agree, and here's why.

I know street prices; Jersey hasn't been selling legal all that long, you know. And, if you want something stronger than dirt weed, to get REAL Quality, it runs about 400 bucks quarter out there.

Now - what does 400 get you on the street? "Good Stuff." "Dank." "Tear You Up." Different every time, and the experience, IF it comes off, is not replicable. Next time, he might not have what he had this time.

I can go into a hoidy shop, and choose from 20 branded, Highly Replicable, Tightly Quality Controlled strains. Same price. What used to go in Cosmo's pocket get's tossed into The Experience.

Why? THAT's where things get fun.

Because Barbie And Ken, Thurston and Lovey, suddenly free to try, aren't going down and loiter on the corner for Cosmo, and they aren't going to go to a Mart Headshop with patchouli insense burning, a ceramic buddha, a black light poster of Marley and some plastic bongs.

They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.

It's a wide open, all new market, and you have to look at how widely you can penetrate the market. OtherLittleGuy has a picture there - that dude and his worked-on wife, if they decide to get wasted, are coming to Hoidyville to buy. Every. Single. Week.


In California, legal weed is a HUGE farking ripoff. Double street prices PLUS around 32% tax on top. They tax the growers $160 a pound just to grow it. It's taxed 2 or 3 times before you even pay your share. I'm happy to stay a former smoker rather than pay their bs fees.
 
2022-08-15 12:49:52 PM  

drewogatory: In California, legal weed is a HUGE farking ripoff. Double street prices PLUS around 32% tax on top. They tax the growers $160 a pound just to grow it. It's taxed 2 or 3 times before you even pay your share. I'm happy to stay a former smoker rather than pay their bs fees


Well, that's where that market segmentation comes in. A rip off to you is a rip off to you - and that's cool. You buy it street, or, as you have done, you can choose to get out of the circus.

From a Strictly Business position, however, you and I both know that there are A HUGE bunch of people willing to pay that premium, and if you make it look toney, you're scooping from a huge swath of demographics. I'm not buying it for them - I'm just happy to dip my beak at the end of the year from the profits.

I'm 60 years old... I just might get to retire.
 
2022-08-15 1:05:56 PM  

perigee: drewogatory: In California, legal weed is a HUGE farking ripoff. Double street prices PLUS around 32% tax on top. They tax the growers $160 a pound just to grow it. It's taxed 2 or 3 times before you even pay your share. I'm happy to stay a former smoker rather than pay their bs fees

Well, that's where that market segmentation comes in. A rip off to you is a rip off to you - and that's cool. You buy it street, or, as you have done, you can choose to get out of the circus.

From a Strictly Business position, however, you and I both know that there are A HUGE bunch of people willing to pay that premium, and if you make it look toney, you're scooping from a huge swath of demographics. I'm not buying it for them - I'm just happy to dip my beak at the end of the year from the profits.

I'm 60 years old... I just might get to retire.


I dunno. You should be able to buy it at 7-11 along with a twelve pack, or at the grocery store. The whole luxury experience bullshiat is as stupid as bottle service at a bar.  Maybe living here in coastal SoCal has soured me on all the rich people bullshiat though. Nothing lamer than a rich fark's bar.
 
2022-08-15 1:55:15 PM  

drewogatory: perigee: drewogatory: In California, legal weed is a HUGE farking ripoff. Double street prices PLUS around 32% tax on top. They tax the growers $160 a pound just to grow it. It's taxed 2 or 3 times before you even pay your share. I'm happy to stay a former smoker rather than pay their bs fees

Well, that's where that market segmentation comes in. A rip off to you is a rip off to you - and that's cool. You buy it street, or, as you have done, you can choose to get out of the circus.

From a Strictly Business position, however, you and I both know that there are A HUGE bunch of people willing to pay that premium, and if you make it look toney, you're scooping from a huge swath of demographics. I'm not buying it for them - I'm just happy to dip my beak at the end of the year from the profits.

I'm 60 years old... I just might get to retire.

I dunno. You should be able to buy it at 7-11 along with a twelve pack, or at the grocery store. The whole luxury experience bullshiat is as stupid as bottle service at a bar.  Maybe living here in coastal SoCal has soured me on all the rich people bullshiat though. Nothing lamer than a rich fark's bar.


Absolutely Could happen when enough states legalize it, and Phillip Morris sees it as something they can get into wide distribution. BUT

One of the big problems is, in CA and CO and NJ, because it is not legal federally, apparently you can't bank the money - FDIC is FEDERAL Deposit Insurance Corporation, and the Feds apparently won't truck with pot money. I imagine the guys in CA and CO must have worked out some way to deal with it... damned if I have any idea how NJ is. Could be the CEO has it stuffed under his floorboards, like Walter White did.

No matter how you shake it, at least here, all of the dispensaries are pretty one-lung yet; a couple locations at best, yet (speed is controlled by a NJ commission. meets every two months) , so having cubic meters of hard currency sitting in a storage unit hasn't happened yet. Phillip Morris, on the other hand, couldn't afford  fifty state distribution where EVERY 7-11, WaWa, Winn-Dixie and Tugwells would have to be licensed as a dispensary by their respective states. And then, since the money can't be put through the regular banking system, P.M. would have to drive around in a fleet of armored cars to collect their cash cut, transport drug money across state lines... I have no idea how troublesome the thing might be, but certinly, at the moment, it's not happening yet.
 
2022-08-15 2:03:35 PM  
The world needs a Just the facts guy like Joe Friday
 
2022-08-15 2:26:08 PM  

drewogatory: [Fark user image 736x414]
Yaay NJ. If this is my mirror, I'm OK. Especially with a 5% stake...

Just sayin, my local liquor store doesn't piss away money on bullshiat decor. There's a shop near me, Planet 13 that's a farking joke. You know you're getting ripped the fark off when a store is commissioning original art.


That sort of thing seems to be more common in places like California where state-mandated operating costs are already so high that the cost of fancy-schmancy crap might be outweighed by its attractiveness, but it can't compete when there's a dispensary in just about every strip mall in town and the mandated fees are relatively trivial. A couple of local places tried going "upscale" early on and didn't last long.
 
2022-08-15 8:49:56 PM  

perigee: They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.


Would that explanation go something like "this strain of 25% THC/0.00012% CBD mutant freak bud will do exactly the same thing as every other zillion percent THC same we sell here"?
 
2022-08-15 11:22:51 PM  

Farker Soze: perigee: They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.

Would that explanation go something like "this strain of 25% THC/0.00012% CBD mutant freak bud will do exactly the same thing as every other zillion percent THC same we sell here"?


That would be no. Different strains have demonstrably different effects.
 
2022-08-16 3:09:55 AM  
We owe a great debt of thanks to Joe Friday for teaching youth pastors everywhere the hipster jargon all us teenagers spoke when no grownups were around. Without his help they'd never have been able to relate to us.
Joe was the bridge between troubled Youth and Straight America.
 
2022-08-16 11:02:29 AM  

Harlee: Farker Soze: perigee: They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.

Would that explanation go something like "this strain of 25% THC/0.00012% CBD mutant freak bud will do exactly the same thing as every other zillion percent THC same we sell here"?

That would be no. Different strains have demonstrably different effects.


The answer is no, regardless of whether the strains actually have different effects.  Your salesman is going to be able to rattle off all kinds of differences if you ask, to make you feel smart for picking the $50 option instead of the $45 option.  Just like in a wine store, 99% of his customers can't actually tell the difference.
 
2022-08-16 11:04:05 AM  

nartreb: Harlee: Farker Soze: perigee: They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.

Would that explanation go something like "this strain of 25% THC/0.00012% CBD mutant freak bud will do exactly the same thing as every other zillion percent THC same we sell here"?

That would be no. Different strains have demonstrably different effects.

The answer is no, regardless of whether the strains actually have different effects.  Your salesman is going to be able to rattle off all kinds of differences if you ask, to make you feel smart for picking the $50 option instead of the $45 option.  Just like in a wine store, 99% of his customers can't actually tell the difference.


I mean, they can't tell the difference in a blind test.  They'll still swear they experience whatever it says on the label.
 
2022-08-16 11:16:51 AM  

nartreb: nartreb: Harlee: Farker Soze: perigee: They're going to a place where they feel like they are being treated to a highly reputable, completely legal, and upscale transaction. There's a well-dressed "Consultant," explaining what the different strains of "Flower" do.

Would that explanation go something like "this strain of 25% THC/0.00012% CBD mutant freak bud will do exactly the same thing as every other zillion percent THC same we sell here"?

That would be no. Different strains have demonstrably different effects.

The answer is no, regardless of whether the strains actually have different effects.  Your salesman is going to be able to rattle off all kinds of differences if you ask, to make you feel smart for picking the $50 option instead of the $45 option.  Just like in a wine store, 99% of his customers can't actually tell the difference.

I mean, they can't tell the difference in a blind test.  They'll still swear they experience whatever it says on the label.


Right? I don't need a farking "budtender" (even MORE undeservedly pretentious than bartenders). I'm not looking for a goddamn cocktail bar experience. Where's the equivalent of the domestic 12 packs, so I can go the fark home?
 
2022-08-16 11:33:15 AM  

drewogatory: Right? I don't need a farking "budtender" (even MORE undeservedly pretentious than bartenders). I'm not looking for a goddamn cocktail bar experience. Where's the equivalent of the domestic 12 packs, so I can go the fark home?


I can't speak for your neighborhood; I know there are places around here that have started selling out of the back of shops unlicensed; I can see one I know of out of my office window, directly across from City Hall, amusingly.

I'm guessing they are your domestic 12-pack store equivalent, but a user I know that frequents that shop told me yesterday she was discouraged because his quality was hit-and-miss. The supply chain has no QC, so he sells what he gets, and the end user takes the chance. ~shrug~

(And yeah the term "budtender" is pure, annoying crap.)
 
2022-08-16 11:40:49 AM  
It's like they took all the most annoying things from the craft beer movement and used that as a starting point. You don't love beer, you just couldn't afford a goddamn liquor license.
 
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