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(Game Rant)   Tell me you're not a Star Trek fan, without telling me you're not a Star Trek fan   (gamerant.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Transport, Soul, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Quantum mechanics, Star Trek, William Riker, energy pattern, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan  
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2550 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 14 Aug 2022 at 3:02 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-08-14 11:26:26 AM  
Well, beam me up, Slappy!
 
2022-08-14 1:12:24 PM  
Breaking Bad - Star Trek Scene (Season 5 Episode 9)
Youtube mIsauNJ392o
 
2022-08-14 1:28:49 PM  

Joe USer: Well, beam me up, Slappy!


Oblig.:

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2022-08-14 1:43:02 PM  
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2022-08-14 2:08:53 PM  
"No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space."
 
2022-08-14 2:26:52 PM  
Babylon 5 was the best TV science fiction ever
 
2022-08-14 2:43:07 PM  
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2022-08-14 3:16:15 PM  
I only watched the movies.
 
2022-08-14 3:18:25 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Babylon 5 was the best TV science fiction ever


No, the revamped Battlestar Galactica was the  best TV SF series ever.
 
2022-08-14 3:18:33 PM  
Lede buried at the end. Transporters are a plot device, not fictional science.

Also, the author ignored the biofilters which have been mentioned as being embedded in the transporters.
 
2022-08-14 3:21:15 PM  
Tribbles are baby wookies
 
2022-08-14 3:26:24 PM  
That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.
 
2022-08-14 3:33:45 PM  
So a person actually gets paid to write this?
 
2022-08-14 3:38:57 PM  
Star trek's worst continuity error was claiming Scotty thought Kirk pulled the enterprise out of mothballs after seeing him 'die'
 
2022-08-14 3:46:46 PM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Star trek's worst continuity error was claiming Scotty thought Kirk pulled the enterprise out of mothballs after seeing him 'die'


That wasn't even close to the worst continuity error.
 
2022-08-14 3:49:21 PM  
This concept was a multi-episode arc in Lower Decks, but I'm sure this guy has something original to add.
 
2022-08-14 3:52:44 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

RIP

 
2022-08-14 3:57:35 PM  
I consensually kissed several females who were not related to me. Also, I only vote Democrat.

/all jokes aside, Star Trek Discovery is a great show
 
DVD
2022-08-14 4:02:07 PM  
Put some Abrams enhancements on those transporters and you can pretty much dominate the universe and be immortal.
 
2022-08-14 4:03:03 PM  

TheMysteriousStranger: That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.


If that was all, it would be fine. It was when they started doing magic with them that they needed to keep stuff consistent. By going all "Clone Riker" and "stored in the buffers for 100 years" and "filter out the pathogen with the transporter" is when they made stuff needlessly complicated. Plus it meant that now they need to account for why they don't always do it.
 
2022-08-14 4:05:51 PM  

DerAppie: TheMysteriousStranger: That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.

If that was all, it would be fine. It was when they started doing magic with them that they needed to keep stuff consistent. By going all "Clone Riker" and "stored in the buffers for 100 years" and "filter out the pathogen with the transporter" is when they made stuff needlessly complicated. Plus it meant that now they need to account for why they don't always do it.


It started in TOS when they split Kirk into his good and evil halves.
 
2022-08-14 4:07:01 PM  

DerAppie: It was when they started doing magic with them that they needed to keep stuff consistent. By going all "Clone Riker" and "stored in the buffers for 100 years" and "filter out the pathogen with the transporter" is when they made stuff needlessly complicated. Plus it meant that now they need to account for why they don't always do it.


Yep.  Star Trek writers - the ones from TNG and onward are mostly to blame as the original show was highly episodic and kind of expected to forget what happened the previous week - appear to have not even a high school science education.  I strongly suspect any actual science background disqualifies you from the job.

But even forgetting the crap science they spew, they fail as writers because they don't do the one thing you're really, really supposed to do with sci-fi.  Consider the implications. Instead, they just decide that a tech can magically do whatever needs to be done to get them into or out of a particular bit of the plot and even if there are consequences that would be obvious to a brain dead baby, they seem to be blissfully unaware.
 
2022-08-14 4:07:23 PM  

TheMysteriousStranger: That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.


You forgot the start of the story which I find really funny.

Before the budget/ shuttlecraft issue they wanted to just land the Enterprise. Think of the Enterprise. Where do you put the landing gear?
 
2022-08-14 4:07:31 PM  
The immortality aspect was the central theme of a SF story the name of which evades me at this time. Only the elites were allowed to use the system. Eventually a disgruntled engineer modified the software to render anyone using the system sterile. Of course, elites rarely reproduced anyway as they had lots of time to do so. By the time they figured out there was a problem, the engineer was long dead, as were all of the other people who might have figured out the modification.  Accidents happen and eventually all of the elites were dead, leaving a taboo attached to the system.  That's when Earth folks land.
 
2022-08-14 4:12:00 PM  

baron von doodle: TheMysteriousStranger: That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.

You forgot the start of the story which I find really funny.

Before the budget/ shuttlecraft issue they wanted to just land the Enterprise. Think of the Enterprise. Where do you put the landing gear?


On the bottom. Duh.
 
2022-08-14 4:16:06 PM  
When we build transporter tech, it will be much simpler.  You go to a medical facility and you take a nap, a quantum computer records your brain's state while you are unconscious and then transports that information into a synthetic brain made from material entangled to the quantum computer in an android wherever you want to go.  Then it compiles that information back in your memory while you are still unconscious.

Biologically, it will be no different than vividly dreaming.  But it will achieve the same effect as teleportation.
 
2022-08-14 4:20:38 PM  

Outlawtsar: When we build transporter tech, it will be much simpler.  You go to a medical facility and you take a nap, a quantum computer records your brain's state while you are unconscious and then transports that information into a synthetic brain made from material entangled to the quantum computer in an android wherever you want to go.  Then it compiles that information back in your memory while you are still unconscious.

Biologically, it will be no different than vividly dreaming.  But it will achieve the same effect as teleportation.


I suspect that as we get closer to that point, a team composed of a brilliant neurologist, a physicist, and a mathematician will release a paper with a bulletproof model showing that it's impossible to actually do that, even if you have a perfect understanding of the human brain.
 
2022-08-14 4:25:06 PM  
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There are 37,496 other mistakes in that paragraph from a link that was in the headline's link but I picked the two most egregious ones.
 
2022-08-14 4:27:37 PM  

Lochsteppe: baron von doodle: TheMysteriousStranger: That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.

You forgot the start of the story which I find really funny.

Before the budget/ shuttlecraft issue they wanted to just land the Enterprise. Think of the Enterprise. Where do you put the landing gear?

On the bottom. Duh.


The Enterprise has landed several times... once.

I mean landed once... several times.

I mean, in a repeating theme, the ship has landed a single time.  But then did it again when it was another one of itself.  And then the timeline was reset and it did it a couple more times...

Come to think of it, for a SPACE ship, that f*cker spends a lot of time in dirt/water...
 
2022-08-14 4:30:16 PM  

Mugato: So a person actually gets paid to write this?


My sentiment exactly.
 
2022-08-14 4:35:33 PM  

Outlawtsar: When we build transporter tech, it will be much simpler.  You go to a medical facility and you take a nap, a quantum computer records your brain's state while you are unconscious and then transports that information into a synthetic brain made from material entangled to the quantum computer in an android wherever you want to go.  Then it compiles that information back in your memory while you are still unconscious.

Biologically, it will be no different than vividly dreaming.  But it will achieve the same effect as teleportation.


 the  copy of your brain will have the experience, not you.

how do you real-time link your brain with the copy so they have the same experience? quantum entanglement doesn't work that way so you need some other mechanism.

by that same token, you can't just record the copy brain's experiences and then copy it to the original brain because the copy brain will be in a different physical state than the original brain, having had different physical adventures. so you'd have to physically change the original brain to match the copied brain on a quantum or at least particle level, which doesn't seem surgically likely or safe for the individual in question.
 
2022-08-14 4:39:11 PM  
There are old newsgroups that have pondered these things for thousands of gigabytes of text. TFA writer is not covering any new ground.
 
2022-08-14 4:40:23 PM  

Outlawtsar: When we build transporter tech, it will be much simpler.  You go to a medical facility and you take a nap, a quantum computer records your brain's state while you are unconscious and then transports that information into a synthetic brain made from material entangled to the quantum computer in an android wherever you want to go.  Then it compiles that information back in your memory while you are still unconscious.

Biologically, it will be no different than vividly dreaming.  But it will achieve the same effect as teleportation.


I think ...Asimov? ...dabbled with that very concept.
 
2022-08-14 5:35:04 PM  
There's a common idea of the teleport as being a systematic disassembler and reconstruction device. I think that's the mistake introduced by Michigan Kaku, who I would shive any day. Simon Pegg got it right, the device relocates the whole object to an inertial reference frame in one shot. But you can't let that tech out, it would make spaceships worthless.
 
2022-08-14 5:41:31 PM  
Blake's 7 got teleport right. Don't explain anything technical and always play dramatic music when teleporting down.

The music is important.
 
2022-08-14 5:42:49 PM  

Joe USer: Well, beam me up, Slappy!


Too obscure?  I expected at least one reply to this one.
 
2022-08-14 5:46:36 PM  
"This is where a lot of the misconception comes in, as well a large amount of contradicting information presented to audiences through the shows. This pattern buffer is not, or not supposed to be, a battery. The energy pattern is so complex that it can not be copied, even when converted into a somewhat digital format. That's just it though: teleportation in Star Trek is regarded as a somewhat analog technology. It is impossible to store all this information for long periods of time, or keep a copy of it after said teleportation has been completed."

Anybody want to tell this to the Doctor's daughter from "Strange New Worlds"?
 
2022-08-14 5:59:18 PM  
Transporter immortality, something Omne had in Price of the Phoenix and Fate of the Phoenix.
This was back in the mid to late 70's.
Def a very abuseable technology.

Doubt those books are considered cannon though.
 
2022-08-14 6:09:16 PM  
All because they couldn't afford to build a shuttle craft in the first season.
 
2022-08-14 6:18:41 PM  
Fun bit of Star Trek lore you guys might not know: transporters run on the Force.  That's why they do a lot of things that are scientifically implausible, even by Trek standards.

The "pattern buffer" is a tank full of midichlorians.
 
2022-08-14 6:25:29 PM  

claytonemery: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Babylon 5 was the best TV science fiction ever

No, the revamped Battlestar Galactica was the  best TV SF series ever.


Y'all have some strange accents, because I know you're trying to say The Expanse,but it's coming out all wrong.
 
2022-08-14 6:26:22 PM  

Joe USer: Blake's 7 got teleport right. Don't explain anything technical and always play dramatic music when teleporting down.

The music is important.


It was alien technology.
It's part of the reason the federation wanted it so badly.
They didn't know how it worked.
 
2022-08-14 6:43:24 PM  

baron von doodle: TheMysteriousStranger: That the transporters in Trek have not been logically consistent, not likely to happen in the real, and have mostly unexplored implications is not something that one can seriously doubt.

They are a bit of magic tech to make thing easier for those running the show. Instead of wasting screen time and FX budget on a shuttle sequences, just beam them up and down.

You forgot the start of the story which I find really funny.

Before the budget/ shuttlecraft issue they wanted to just land the Enterprise. Think of the Enterprise. Where do you put the landing gear?


Like this:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-14 7:07:16 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-14 7:07:30 PM  
Tell me you're not a Star Trek fan, without telling me you're not a Star Trek fan

My name is Alex Kurtzman
 
2022-08-14 7:18:09 PM  

wildcardjack: There's a common idea of the teleport as being a systematic disassembler and reconstruction device.


Right, that is an interpretation of how it might work in the real world.

This is clearly not the case in-universe, as simply replicating organic tissue is highly experimental even hundreds of years after transporters started beaming people around.

.. except for when it is convenient to use the Transporter in exactly that way, such as reversing Polaski's aging. The inconsistency and its use as a throwaway plot device is indeed an issue. Holodecks had the same problem.

This is also one thing I loved about Stargate. They built consistent rules and did a good job of following them, to the point where they could create drama by taking advantage of previously established rules.
 
2022-08-14 7:20:49 PM  

health_inspector: all jokes aside, Star Trek Discovery is a great show


I can't even imagine what unspeakable horrors you must have experienced in your life to reduce you to the point where you think STD is anything but a steaming pile of shiat.

You have all my sympathies, you poor, poor unfortunate.
 
2022-08-14 7:55:22 PM  

Outlawtsar: When we build transporter tech, it will be much simpler.  You go to a medical facility and you take a nap, a quantum computer records your brain's state while you are unconscious and then transports that information into a synthetic brain made from material entangled to the quantum computer in an android wherever you want to go.  Then it compiles that information back in your memory while you are still unconscious.

Biologically, it will be no different than vividly dreaming.  But it will achieve the same effect as teleportation.


Wasn't that the plot of the Bruce Willis movie Surrogates? That you buy a young robot copy of yourself and you sleep in your apartment all day while your mind runs the clone that goes out and does stuff? It's been years since I saw it.
 
2022-08-14 7:57:14 PM  

Saturn5: It started in TOS when they split Kirk into his good and evil halves.


You know the captain just said that to get away with the workplace sexual harassment, right?

/It was a different Starfleet
 
2022-08-14 8:02:36 PM  

Outlawtsar: When we build transporter tech, it will be much simpler.  You go to a medical facility and you take a nap, a quantum computer records your brain's state while you are unconscious and then transports that information into a synthetic brain made from material entangled to the quantum computer in an android wherever you want to go.  Then it compiles that information back in your memory while you are still unconscious.

Biologically, it will be no different than vividly dreaming.  But it will achieve the same effect as teleportation.


David Brin already took that to another level....
https://books.google.com/books/about/Kiln_People.html?id=-0V6ZiiTUpcC&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&ovdme=1#v=onepage&q&f=false
 
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