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(Slate)   "My boyfriend loves sporting ironic facial hair and I despise it. How do I tell him it's me or the Snidely Whiplash mustache?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Ironic, Beard, Facial hair, Moustache, Ciara, animal rescue agencies, wife of a co-worker, Sideburns, whole family  
•       •       •

447 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 14 Aug 2022 at 2:38 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-14 9:45:43 AM  
Stop farking him until he shaves.
 
2022-08-14 9:58:05 AM  
It's his face, he can do what he wants with it.  Going to break up with someone because they're ugly?  Well, that's up to you.  Will you still like him when he's a joyless lump, afraid to embrace whimsy?

Reversing the streams, do you want him telling you to keep your hair at a specific length/style? To tell you when and how to shave your body? The same kind of resentment issues can pop up for both parties involved when they try to change each other.

If he's doing it just to piss you off or prank you then it becomes your business.
 
2022-08-14 10:24:35 AM  
You don't get to tell someone what to do with their face. You can tell them what you think of it, maybe they'll care.
You have two choices, deal with it or don't.
 
2022-08-14 10:26:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


grow one yourself.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-14 10:28:33 AM  
Pluck out your own eyes.
 
2022-08-14 10:32:26 AM  

khitsicker: Stop farking him until he shaves.


Lysistrata has really held up well, for a 2,400ish year-old play.
 
2022-08-14 10:36:00 AM  
Prudie's answer is mostly right: Sit down and talk about it before jumping to ultimatums.

In any long-term relationship, your partner is going to do things that drive you bonkers. Some things you have to live with, and yes, he can do his hair how he wants. However, if you feel a deep sense of revulsion every time you look at his face, that is also inevitably going to be bad for your relationship - even if you attempt to rationally convince yourself that it's fine or that you should ignore it, those feelings will leak out in other ways.

Sometimes, you have to spend a little relationship capital and put it out there when something bothers you, rightly or wrongly, because talking about it is better than letting it fester. (Ideally this should be done exceedingly sparingly, for obvious reasons I shouldn't have to go into.)

And what is the right/appropriate amount for the two of you to nipick and negotiate each other's appearance and habits? That entirely subjective. It's not "right and wrong" so much as "what both of you are willing to live with." That is why being in relationships with other people is hard.
 
2022-08-14 10:44:27 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: Prudie's answer is mostly right: Sit down and talk about it before jumping to ultimatums.

In any long-term relationship, your partner is going to do things that drive you bonkers. Some things you have to live with, and yes, he can do his hair how he wants. However, if you feel a deep sense of revulsion every time you look at his face, that is also inevitably going to be bad for your relationship - even if you attempt to rationally convince yourself that it's fine or that you should ignore it, those feelings will leak out in other ways.

Sometimes, you have to spend a little relationship capital and put it out there when something bothers you, rightly or wrongly, because talking about it is better than letting it fester. (Ideally this should be done exceedingly sparingly, for obvious reasons I shouldn't have to go into.)

And what is the right/appropriate amount for the two of you to nipick and negotiate each other's appearance and habits? That entirely subjective. It's not "right and wrong" so much as "what both of you are willing to live with." That is why being in relationships with other people is hard.


Sir/or Madam,
This is a Farkbys.

/you read the article?
 
2022-08-14 10:48:59 AM  

Ker_Thwap: /you read the article?


My apologies, I won't let it happen again.
 
2022-08-14 11:11:41 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: In any long-term relationship, your partner is going to do things that drive you bonkers.


I get music or musical phrases stuck in my head and I repeat them for weeks at a time. I don't remember a time I haven't done this and several of my siblings do it too. It annoys even me sometimes (depending in the song/phrase) but it's relatively harmless so I don't really do anything about it.

Just before my partner and I met back in 2005, I had seen a Homestar Runner skit where he sings to someone "you smell like pea soooouuuup" throughout the skit and well gosh, that stuck firmly in my head.
Our first date was a 16 hour event where we wandered around the city, talking and stopping off at various establishments, all the while, every 10 minutes or so, I would sing "you smell like pea sooouuup."

He married me anyway. 15th anniversary coming up next weekend.
 
2022-08-14 11:53:33 AM  
I've never understood the concept of "ironic facial hair." Is it wearing a style that looks stupid on you just because you can?

I've worn a few different "retro" mustache styles but I did it to find what looks good on me. Settled on kind of a cross between Sam Elliott and Joe Stalin. Wife likes it, and I get a lot of compliments from women and gay dudes. So it works for me.
 
2022-08-14 11:56:20 AM  
Start oogling and flirting with smooth-shaven cute guys.
 
2022-08-14 11:58:33 AM  
Grow an ironic mustache of your own as a bargaining chip.
 
2022-08-14 12:32:29 PM  
It took me a long time to come to this realization but I am thankful I have a woman in my life who will tell me when I am doing stupid shiat.
 
2022-08-14 1:54:01 PM  
I just checked the calendar and Halloween still occurs only on October 31.
 
2022-08-14 2:33:25 PM  
Shave your pubes so they look like Groucho Marx.
 
2022-08-14 2:36:55 PM  

Jake Havechek: Shave your pubes so they look like Groucho Marx.


Hahahaa I want to change my answer.
 
2022-08-14 2:41:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-14 2:56:44 PM  
So you don't like his nooky duster?
 
2022-08-14 3:00:05 PM  

fat boy: So you don't like his nooky duster?


The thigh tickler.
 
2022-08-14 3:05:22 PM  

educated: Martian_Astronomer: In any long-term relationship, your partner is going to do things that drive you bonkers.

I get music or musical phrases stuck in my head and I repeat them for weeks at a time. I don't remember a time I haven't done this and several of my siblings do it too. It annoys even me sometimes (depending in the song/phrase) but it's relatively harmless so I don't really do anything about it.

Just before my partner and I met back in 2005, I had seen a Homestar Runner skit where he sings to someone "you smell like pea soooouuuup" throughout the skit and well gosh, that stuck firmly in my head.
Our first date was a 16 hour event where we wandered around the city, talking and stopping off at various establishments, all the while, every 10 minutes or so, I would sing "you smell like pea sooouuup."

He married me anyway. 15th anniversary coming up next weekend.


And now all I can hear is the dj dance remix of "Jules, in a relationship sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do" from Cougar Town.
 
2022-08-14 3:06:19 PM  

aimtastic: Grow an ironic mustache of your own as a bargaining chip.


Give me 10 days.
 
2022-08-14 3:10:40 PM  
Two words - "gorilla pits".
 
2022-08-14 3:14:38 PM  
Tell him how much Charlie Chaplin gets you going with that sexy toothbrush moustache.
 
2022-08-14 3:31:01 PM  

hobnail: I've never understood the concept of "ironic facial hair." Is it wearing a style that looks stupid on you just because you can?


It's enjoying being silly rather than liking the silly thing itself.
 
2022-08-14 3:42:11 PM  

KB202: educated: Martian_Astronomer: In any long-term relationship, your partner is going to do things that drive you bonkers.

I get music or musical phrases stuck in my head and I repeat them for weeks at a time. I don't remember a time I haven't done this and several of my siblings do it too. It annoys even me sometimes (depending in the song/phrase) but it's relatively harmless so I don't really do anything about it.

Just before my partner and I met back in 2005, I had seen a Homestar Runner skit where he sings to someone "you smell like pea soooouuuup" throughout the skit and well gosh, that stuck firmly in my head.
Our first date was a 16 hour event where we wandered around the city, talking and stopping off at various establishments, all the while, every 10 minutes or so, I would sing "you smell like pea sooouuup."

He married me anyway. 15th anniversary coming up next weekend.

And now all I can hear is the dj dance remix of "Jules, in a relationship sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do" from Cougar Town.


There's a DJ dance remix?
 
2022-08-14 3:42:35 PM  
95% of Dear Prudence issues can be solved by:

1. talking it out
2. bailing

Or both.  But people are afraid to say anything, and always convince themselves they want these terrible relationships to continue.  They say, "But I still love this abusive asshole", or, "They are a dispicable person but I still value their friendship."
 
2022-08-14 3:59:42 PM  
If it's an actual issue the train of a possible decent relationship left the station long ago.
 
2022-08-14 4:05:53 PM  
If you sit on his face you don't have to look it it. Just sayin'.
 
2022-08-14 4:08:13 PM  

Fear the Clam: If you sit on his face you don't have to look it it. Just sayin'.


User name not working currently. Call support.
 
2022-08-14 4:14:24 PM  
My ex-wife used to say she hated kissing me when I had facial hair, because it reminded her of kissing her father.  I never had the heart to tell her how f*cked up that was.  And no, her father wasn't a molester.  Nicest guy you'd ever meet.
 
2022-08-14 4:24:43 PM  
I dunno. A Snidely tells me that this man is comfortable in his own skin, has a sense  of humor and is creative.

This conversation seems silly when you consider he have grown a Hitler.
 
2022-08-14 4:40:14 PM  
Sweeney Todd - Spirelli Shave Contest
Youtube lZUHM1FAsJo
 
2022-08-14 4:49:50 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Ker_Thwap: /you read the article?

My apologies, I won't let it happen again.


I did  and it's a rerun

From: "Help! I Hate My Boyfriend's Ridiculous Facial Hair." (Aug. 31, 2019)
 
2022-08-14 4:50:32 PM  
"Good news, honey; I made my mustache normal. Now will you take me back?"

aetre.xepher.netView Full Size
 
2022-08-14 6:06:51 PM  
See how he likes it if you stop shaving everything.
 
2022-08-14 6:56:45 PM  
Heh. I farked up my shoulder at work, was on comp for about 8 weeks and didn't shave. Time to go back to work, and with the goal of having mrs lizyrd sigh and roll her eyes, I shaved down to a horseshoe moustache with a soul patch.  With the added benefit that it pushes the limits of acceptability at work and would frustrate certain supervisors.

Instead of the expected result from mrs lizyrd, I got "that's badass, I love it!"  So it has remained a lot longer than I expected.
 
2022-08-14 7:55:52 PM  
A Million Ways to Die in the West (5/10) Movie CLIP - If You've Only Got a Moustache (2014) HD
Youtube ARTwLLhQZHw
 
2022-08-14 9:05:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Did LadyBuk write this letter?
 
2022-08-14 10:56:39 PM  
You're entitled to your opinion. Just remember: turnaround is fair play.
If you come home with an expensive new Karen haircut and he starts laughing and calling for the manager, you played yourself.
 
2022-08-15 1:49:05 AM  
You're dating a person, not a project. Don't try to start changing every little thing about him.
 
2022-08-15 2:17:46 AM  

Almea Tarrant: You're entitled to your opinion. Just remember: turnaround is fair play.
If you come home with an expensive new Karen haircut and he starts laughing and calling for the manager, you played yourself.


If my GF ever tries to control what I do to my face, first thing outta my mouth is gonna be, "Fine, but your pubes gotta go."
 
2022-08-15 11:42:20 AM  

Bukharin: [Fark user image 425x566]

Did LadyBuk write this letter?


You are one of the rare few who carries it off. You should burst into a rendition either of "If I Were a Rich Man," or "Haben Sie Gehort Das Deutsches Band."

/mit de bing
//mit de boom
///mit de bing-bang-bing-bang-boom
 
2022-08-15 1:33:00 PM  

Scanty Em: Bukharin: [Fark user image 425x566]

Did LadyBuk write this letter?

You are one of the rare few who carries it off. You should burst into a rendition either of "If I Were a Rich Man," or "Haben Sie Gehort Das Deutsches Band."

/mit de bing
//mit de boom
///mit de bing-bang-bing-bang-boom


Eastern Europeans are born with mustaches. It's in our genes. I inherited mine from my mom.
 
2022-08-15 4:52:35 PM  

Scanty Em: Bukharin: [Fark user image 425x566]

Did LadyBuk write this letter?

You are one of the rare few who carries it off. You should burst into a rendition either of "If I Were a Rich Man," or "Haben Sie Gehort Das Deutsches Band."

/mit de bing
//mit de boom
///mit de bing-bang-bing-bang-boom


If I Were A Rich Man
Youtube cAY2mIoOWqc
 
2022-08-15 9:14:18 PM  
I'd have a really hard time being attracted to any guy with this hairstyle. https://www.sadanduseless.com/circle-beard/
sadanduseless.b-cdn.netView Full Size
 
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