Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Twitter)   Big Brain Fox News strategy: Taunt Darth Garland   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, shot  
•       •       •

5076 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Aug 2022 at 5:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



113 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-13 10:44:42 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2022-08-14 1:06:27 AM  
DId you see the monkey.  I mean, the monkey is not a cat.  And cats have tails, you know, like monkeys, but Gorillas don't have tails.  And this is why I think bananas don't taste like apples.
 
2022-08-14 1:23:43 AM  
So... what you're saying is that what trumpty dumpty did was so violently illegal and such a threat to America, that even a do-nothing milquetoast was compelled to step up and take action against him.

Great plan, Ray. Real scientific.
 
2022-08-14 1:30:20 AM  
You know. Morons.
 
2022-08-14 1:30:26 AM  
"He's not Mr. Backbone, he's a weak man," said virtually everyone on Fark, 2 weeks ago.

Garland is going to have a pretty singular legacy, almost regardless of whatever happens next.
 
2022-08-14 1:48:33 AM  
I know how juvenile this sounds, but I'd love to see that dweeb enter the ring with Merrick and see who has more backbone.
 
2022-08-14 2:02:08 AM  

Naido: "He's not Mr. Backbone, he's a weak man," said virtually everyone on Fark, 2 weeks ago.

Garland is going to have a pretty singular legacy, almost regardless of whatever happens next.


Why are you even here? Move on to the next non-Trump news story, this one is trite.
 
2022-08-14 2:12:27 AM  

bloobeary: So... what you're saying is that what trumpty dumpty did was so violently illegal and such a threat to America, that even a do-nothing milquetoast was compelled to step up and take action against him.

Great plan, Ray. Real scientific.


Today I learned that do-nothing milquetoast helped prosecute Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, and Eric Rudolph (Atlanta Olympics Bombing).

/somethin' gonna happen
 
2022-08-14 3:04:07 AM  

blastoh: DId you see the monkey.  I mean, the monkey is not a cat.  And cats have tails, you know, like monkeys, but Gorillas don't have tails.  And this is why I think bananas don't taste like apples.


Git deem it, why don't we have a "smartest, funniest shiat I've heard in a long time" button.

Kudos
 
433 [TotalFark]
2022-08-14 4:01:58 AM  
I would expect him to pay as much attention to cable news as much as I'd expect him to pay attention to children's cartoons.
 
2022-08-14 4:39:18 AM  
I liked it when Garland said "we will communicate to you only via court filings, now go f*ck yourselves." And walked off the stage.

Or something like that.
 
2022-08-14 5:15:42 AM  

Naido: "He's not Mr. Backbone, he's a weak man," said virtually everyone on Fark, 2 weeks ago.

Garland is going to have a pretty singular legacy, almost regardless of whatever happens next.


The criticism of Garland, at least as I was reading it, wasn't weakness, it was conservatism. If you want to call those things the same then I get where you're coming from, but the subtle difference is that while a weak person would never do anything, a conservative person will spend a long time (perhaps an unreasonably long time) preparing their case/evidence/strategy before moving purposefully.

Garland was widely criticised on Fark for taking too long to move on various issues relating to Trump's departure from office and role in Jan 6. That had some validity to it.

But now he's set his strategy in motion, we can be certain he can back it up. Fox News are understandably freaking out because it means there's a lot more to come, and all of it is going to be bad for Trump and the Republicans who love him.
 
2022-08-14 5:22:51 AM  

blastoh: DId you see the monkey.  I mean, the monkey is not a cat.  And cats have tails, you know, like monkeys, but Gorillas don't have tails.  And this is why I think bananas don't taste like apples.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-14 5:30:45 AM  
These callow people have a real obsession with the idea of "weak"...

Anyone  that integrates their whole being so shameless with a person or group that their
entire ego is intertwined with the well being of that person or group, has their head on sideways.
That's Jim Jones level of cult indoctrination..They have so forsaken their own thoughts, their own
well being to this person or group, that they are not even operating as an individual anymore.
They are merely a meat puppet for the cult..
 
2022-08-14 5:31:29 AM  

TwowheelinTim: bloobeary: So... what you're saying is that what trumpty dumpty did was so violently illegal and such a threat to America, that even a do-nothing milquetoast was compelled to step up and take action against him.

Great plan, Ray. Real scientific.

Today I learned that do-nothing milquetoast helped prosecute Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, and Eric Rudolph (Atlanta Olympics Bombing).

/somethin' gonna happen


Yertle's gonna wish he allowed Garland's SCOTUS confirmation vote.
 
2022-08-14 5:33:32 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: These callow people have a real obsession with the idea of "weak"...

Anyone  that integrates their whole being so shameless with a person or group that their
entire ego is intertwined with the well being of that person or group, has their head on sideways.
That's Jim Jones level of cult indoctrination..They have so forsaken their own thoughts, their own
well being to this person or group, that they are not even operating as an individual anymore.
They are merely a meat puppet for the cult..


In my experience, the people that are genuinely tough don't puff out their chest and yammer on about how tough they are.

They don't have to.
 
2022-08-14 5:39:12 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: These callow people have a real obsession with the idea of "weak"...

Anyone  that integrates their whole being so shameless with a person or group that their
entire ego is intertwined with the well being of that person or group, has their head on sideways.
That's Jim Jones level of cult indoctrination..They have so forsaken their own thoughts, their own
well being to this person or group, that they are not even operating as an individual anymore.
They are merely a meat puppet for the cult..


Yep, same as it ever was. Jan 6 was "Antifa" but now they want the "patriots" freed. Biden is "sleepy" and "losing it" but he's also masterminded a plot to "steal" an election leaving zero evidence of what would have to be a widespread conspiracy. He's also "doing nothing" about issues while passing very considerable legislation to address big issues which is "government interference to ruin our country".

Garland is "weak" but has approved the unprecedented raid on a former President where the insane contradictions of Team Trump in the last few days defending their guy are now at 14 and counting yet none check out and most are incoherent brain-farts.

Fox News has nothing to offer, so they lash out wildly and hope that something sticks. It's pathetic.
 
2022-08-14 5:43:05 AM  
The one who is the most dangerous to cross is not the one who blusters but the one who is slow, methodical, builds an airtight case and whom nobody expects to strike.
 
2022-08-14 5:46:40 AM  

blastoh: DId you see the monkey.  I mean, the monkey is not a cat.  And cats have tails, you know, like monkeys, but Gorillas don't have tails.  And this is why I think bananas don't taste like apples.


It's basic science.  Just like the scientific name for a gorilla is 'Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla'.

Which leads to the question of "Can a Buffalo buffalo buffalo a gorilla gorilla gorilla"?
 
2022-08-14 5:51:21 AM  

Mad Canadian: blastoh: DId you see the monkey.  I mean, the monkey is not a cat.  And cats have tails, you know, like monkeys, but Gorillas don't have tails.  And this is why I think bananas don't taste like apples.

It's basic science.  Just like the scientific name for a gorilla is 'Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla'.

Which leads to the question of "Can a Buffalo buffalo buffalo a gorilla gorilla gorilla"?


Bison Bison Bison
 
2022-08-14 5:52:04 AM  
"Shattering gnomes"?

I didn't believe Merrick Gatland was feckless and ineffectual when Eeyore Democrats were saying it. I certainly don't believe it now that it's coming from the mouths of desperate Republicans.
 
2022-08-14 5:53:18 AM  

Aussie_As: But now he's set his strategy in motion, we can be certain he can back it up.


His strategy was to just wait until a whistleblower caught Trump committing treason? Again. That's some 5d checkers. He's on it, don't worry.
 
2022-08-14 5:59:28 AM  

flamingboard: Aussie_As: But now he's set his strategy in motion, we can be certain he can back it up.

His strategy was to just wait until a whistleblower caught Trump committing treason? Again. That's some 5d checkers. He's on it, don't worry.


I'm not understanding this comment. What whistleblower? The process surrounding the missing and unreturned classified documents has been running since Trump moved out of Washington. There may have been some leaking of information from Mar-A-Lago about some good places to look for said documents, but they had a search warrant, they were going to look until they located them either way.
 
2022-08-14 6:00:37 AM  
This cumstain was the Rep for my district.  What a useless human being.  Goes to show you how you can fail upward.

All MAGAs need to fark off into a volcano.
 
2022-08-14 6:02:05 AM  

flamingboard: Aussie_As: But now he's set his strategy in motion, we can be certain he can back it up.

His strategy was to just wait until a whistleblower caught Trump committing treason? Again. That's some 5d checkers. He's on it, don't worry.


Yes - what's come out in the news media etc. is totally the entirety of the plan - why wouldn't you tell the assholes you're after exactly what you're up to on a regular basis?

/"Not telling the people you're after how you really found out" is grade school level cop shiat
//even beat donut dumpsters know that one
///it's easy for them - you just lie
////remember, no LEO/adjacent individual has the obligation to tell anyone the truth about anything unless they're talking to their own internal structure people, a judge, or reading Miranda rights (if someone's looking)
 
2022-08-14 6:12:01 AM  
It's really hard to mock these lowlifes. They just run their mouths. After Trump dies, I'm taking a permanent break from paying attention to this shiat
 
2022-08-14 6:14:02 AM  

wademh: I know how juvenile this sounds, but I'd love to see that dweeb enter the ring with Merrick and see who has more backbone.


??  Well, Garland's arena is a bit more cerebral.  Grandstanding and rushes to hasty reactive actions tend to play well in the media but not in court.  Garland made his legal bones long ago and has the receipts to prove it.  I'm thinking he outclasses a second string hack from a propaganda channel any day.
 
2022-08-14 6:16:30 AM  

433: I would expect him to pay as much attention to cable news as much as I'd expect him to pay attention to children's cartoons.


I'd actually respect an AG who was a fan of oldschool Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner cartoons.
 
2022-08-14 6:18:39 AM  
lol. Now there is incriminating video
 
2022-08-14 6:20:04 AM  

ISO15693: lol. Now there is incriminating video


Que?
 
2022-08-14 6:31:06 AM  
Agree with this take. Having said that, I expect thr FBI to show up at Fox eventually.

Dear lord the gullibility of people is astonishing. Garland let Trump hold the docs for 19 months. Still has let him skate on every other crime. J6 committee and public pressure lit a fire under him. Garland wasn't even the one who initiated the action on retrieving the docs. https://t.co/IIYumNRJtu
- Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) August 12, 2022
 
2022-08-14 6:31:11 AM  

stoli n coke: ISO15693: lol. Now there is incriminating video

Que?


The New York Times reported:

The Department of Justice also recalled surveillance footage from Mar-a-Lago that was recorded over a 60-day period, including views from outside the storage room. According to a person briefed on the matter, the footage showed that after one instance in which Justice Department officials were in contact with Mr. Trump's team, the boxes were moved in and out of the room.
This activity alarmed investigators about the handling of the material. It is not clear when specifically the footage was from a lengthy back-and-forth between Justice Department officials and Mr. Trump's advisers, or whether a subpoena for Mr. Trump to obtain additional documents was actually issued.
 
2022-08-14 6:40:29 AM  
Real World contestant defends the honor of The Apprentice host on a network founded by a tabloid publisher and I smell toast.
 
2022-08-14 6:41:24 AM  

Aussie_As: Mr. Shabooboo: These callow people have a real obsession with the idea of "weak"...

Anyone  that integrates their whole being so shameless with a person or group that their
entire ego is intertwined with the well being of that person or group, has their head on sideways.
That's Jim Jones level of cult indoctrination..They have so forsaken their own thoughts, their own
well being to this person or group, that they are not even operating as an individual anymore.
They are merely a meat puppet for the cult..

Yep, same as it ever was. Jan 6 was "Antifa" but now they want the "patriots" freed. Biden is "sleepy" and "losing it" but he's also masterminded a plot to "steal" an election leaving zero evidence of what would have to be a widespread conspiracy. He's also "doing nothing" about issues while passing very considerable legislation to address big issues which is "government interference to ruin our country".

Garland is "weak" but has approved the unprecedented raid on a former President where the insane contradictions of Team Trump in the last few days defending their guy are now at 14 and counting yet none check out and most are incoherent brain-farts.

Fox News has nothing to offer, so they lash out wildly and hope that something sticks. It's pathetic.


Their hypocrisy is so blatant, so egregious that nothing they say is even worth listening to. I'm not saying society should ignore them, I'm saying society should actively shut them out. They're rotten to the core.
 
2022-08-14 6:41:53 AM  

Aussie_As: Naido: "He's not Mr. Backbone, he's a weak man," said virtually everyone on Fark, 2 weeks ago.

Garland is going to have a pretty singular legacy, almost regardless of whatever happens next.

The criticism of Garland, at least as I was reading it, wasn't weakness, it was conservatism. If you want to call those things the same then I get where you're coming from, but the subtle difference is that while a weak person would never do anything, a conservative person will spend a long time (perhaps an unreasonably long time) preparing their case/evidence/strategy before moving purposefully.

Garland was widely criticised on Fark for taking too long to move on various issues relating to Trump's departure from office and role in Jan 6. That had some validity to it.

But now he's set his strategy in motion, we can be certain he can back it up. Fox News are understandably freaking out because it means there's a lot more to come, and all of it is going to be bad for Trump and the Republicans who love him.


No, it didn't have any validity to it. "Ain't nothing gonna happen" is a prediction of the future, not a criticism of the present.
 
2022-08-14 6:42:02 AM  

Naido: "He's not Mr. Backbone, he's a weak man," said virtually everyone on Fark, 2 weeks ago.

Garland is going to have a pretty singular legacy, almost regardless of whatever happens next.


Speaking for .myself, I never questioned his backbone or his manhood. I questioned his motivations and  his convictions.

At this point, I am happy to say that I was wrong and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Even so... Theres a long road to hoe and the convictions (and I'm talking about prison terms here) are what really matter.

Godspeed, Merrick Garland and may the flying spaghetti monster help us all.
 
2022-08-14 6:43:29 AM  

ISO15693: stoli n coke: ISO15693: lol. Now there is incriminating video

Que?

The New York Times reported:

The Department of Justice also recalled surveillance footage from Mar-a-Lago that was recorded over a 60-day period, including views from outside the storage room. According to a person briefed on the matter, the footage showed that after one instance in which Justice Department officials were in contact with Mr. Trump's team, the boxes were moved in and out of the room.
This activity alarmed investigators about the handling of the material. It is not clear when specifically the footage was from a lengthy back-and-forth between Justice Department officials and Mr. Trump's advisers, or whether a subpoena for Mr. Trump to obtain additional documents was actually issued.


"Sir, he's taken out the documents.  And the crayons, Sir, he's  coloring the documents in the leather box.
 
2022-08-14 6:44:48 AM  

Ragin' Asian: "Shattering gnomes"?

I didn't believe Merrick Gatland was feckless and ineffectual when Eeyore Democrats were saying it. I certainly don't believe it now that it's coming from the mouths of desperate Republicans.


Where have you gone, Commodore Snacky Bar? Our web site turns its lonely eyes to you.

/Stay gone, please.
 
2022-08-14 6:49:39 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: These callow people have a real obsession with the idea of "weak"...

Anyone  that integrates their whole being so shameless with a person or group that their
entire ego is intertwined with the well being of that person or group, has their head on sideways.
That's Jim Jones level of cult indoctrination..They have so forsaken their own thoughts, their own
well being to this person or group, that they are not even operating as an individual anymore.
They are merely a meat puppet for the cult..


"Lean not on your own understanding, instead trust in Gawd".
 
2022-08-14 6:49:49 AM  

mtrac: Agree with this take. Having said that, I expect thr FBI to show up at Fox eventually.

Dear lord the gullibility of people is astonishing. Garland let Trump hold the docs for 19 months. Still has let him skate on every other crime. J6 committee and public pressure lit a fire under him. Garland wasn't even the one who initiated the action on retrieving the docs. https://t.co/IIYumNRJtu
- Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) August 12, 2022


If you agree with that take, you might be gullible.

This was a search warrant being executed at the home of a former president, something that has never been done before, and if botched, is a career ender for everyone involved.

You don't go in with an operation like that without knowing for certain what is there and where it is being stashed. All i's dotted, all t's crossed.

The justice system does not go haphazardly in, guns drawn, based on the emotional whims of a few loud Twitiots.
 
2022-08-14 6:53:03 AM  

qorkfiend: Aussie_As: Naido: ....

Garland was widely criticised on Fark for taking too long to move on various issues relating to Trump's departure from office and role in Jan 6. That had some validity to it.

But now he's set his strategy in motion, we can be certain he can back it up. Fox News are understandably freaking out because it means there's a lot more to come, and all of it is going to be bad for Trump and the Republicans who love him.

No, it didn't have any validity to it. "Ain't nothing gonna happen" is a prediction of the future, not a criticism of the present.


Fair enough qorkfiend I'll certainly agree you've been consistent in predicting that things would indeed happen even when some of us were starting to think the prospects looked bleak. Well played that Farker.
 
2022-08-14 6:58:33 AM  
When will the FBI seize Fox News?
 
2022-08-14 7:02:41 AM  
Okay... I don't watch news much, I tend to read it - I read transcripts of news broadcasts instead of watching them. So I honestly don't recognize some of the television pundits and guests. Who is the woman at the beginning of this clip? Does she often go all chickenhead or is that a video artifact?
 
2022-08-14 7:05:38 AM  
They sure weren't worried about shattering norms and precedent when it was their SCOTUS doing it by taking a right away from the people and gave it to the government.

TLDR version: Now they are upset about "shattering norms"? What about the Republican SCOTUS?

It's time we hit them with some whataboutisms to frustrate them. We can hit them with bad faith intellectually dishonest "debate" also.
 
2022-08-14 7:09:21 AM  

stoli n coke: If you agree with that take, you might be gullible.


Nineteen months in, Garland has a short list of accomplishments, which came about after prodding and evidence collection by Congress and other federal agencies.

Trump and his cronies have committed a vast number of crimes in plain sight with no repercussions. Sometimes it seemed only Georgia and NY were doing anything, and NY only civil.
 
2022-08-14 7:12:08 AM  

Naido: "He's not Mr. Backbone, he's a weak man," said virtually everyone on Fark, 2 weeks ago.

Garland is going to have a pretty singular legacy, almost regardless of whatever happens next.


Seems like Garland lives by the 'Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick' kinda thing.

And yeah - while I understood Garland's pacing - even under the most obvious of circumstances, that charging THIS POTUS through a federal judiciary chain that would likely get appealed up to the 'I threw 1/3 of these judges in place for a reason' group - he's already working against a heavily stacked Judiciary. (Granted...some Trump appointees on the bench have surprised - but rolling the dice is still a lot chancier to see actual 'justice' out of due to the GQP REALLY not being a fan of actual right and wrong of late.)  Jury?  Enough MAGAs are out there that your jury is 95% of ONE person who feels 'Stop the Steal was real to ME, dammit!', all your investigation is for shiat.  So Garland, understandably, couldn't exactly go in without an air-tight case that only has a half shot at landing.

Oh - did I mention these investigations are unprecedented because it's against the duly elected former POTUS - we are in seriously uncharted territory here.  Like - ain't no roadmap at ALL because this makes Nixon look like an amateur.  How do you carefully lay out - the literal top of the citizen food chain is shopping out deepest secrets to enemies of our country - some of whom, in my 55 years, have ALWAYS been an enemy.  This is not only going to cause a metric farkton of internal reorg of EVERYTHING before you get it out via search warrants that hint at what you know - because this farking worthless excuse for a human, let alone a leader - has offered up our literal 'how to' manual via the docs he took.

So we have intelligence that has to get shored up before word gets out what we know - but there is also going to be some MAJOR fallout as we have to literally rewrite the playbook to erase hints of what this farking worthless traitor stole to get his cash supply back to existing.

You have to have gotten intel semi-shored up before ANY of this gets out since anyone who has benefited thus far from this (BIG unknown, but have to assume Russian and Saudi eyes or ears have gotten word of it on the very base level - and the warrant tells you WHAT they are looking for - if you've got any of those, a counterintel agency has already poured over and retroactively figured out how the US is getting that info so you know which channels of your are leaking )- AND...what gets out has to be utterly flawless because the lifecycle of this case is already facing a biatch of an obstacle course right out of the gate.

So people can get frustrated by Garland's pace all they want - but he is who he is for a reason, and this case is going to end up being unprecedented in more ways than we can realize right now.
 
2022-08-14 7:15:13 AM  

Astorix: The one who is the most dangerous to cross is not the one who blusters but the one who is slow, methodical, builds an airtight case and whom nobody expects to strike.


"Put your enemy on the horns of a dilemma."
 
2022-08-14 7:15:35 AM  

mtrac: stoli n coke: If you agree with that take, you might be gullible.

Nineteen months in, Garland has a short list of accomplishments, which came about after prodding and evidence collection by Congress and other federal agencies.

Trump and his cronies have committed a vast number of crimes in plain sight with no repercussions. Sometimes it seemed only Georgia and NY were doing anything, and NY only civil.


Because you didn't hear about it nightly on MSNBC or NPR?

Eliot Ness would have loved to have gotten a murder prosecution for Capone, but boring old tax returns were what got him.

It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
 
2022-08-14 7:33:11 AM  

mtrac: stoli n coke: If you agree with that take, you might be gullible.

Nineteen months in, Garland has a short list of accomplishments, which came about after prodding and evidence collection by Congress and other federal agencies.

Trump and his cronies have committed a vast number of crimes in plain sight with no repercussions. Sometimes it seemed only Georgia and NY were doing anything, and NY only civil.


Civil has different rules than criminal. It's not necessarily "easier" but the burden of proof is different, and some things don't apply like they do in a criminal setting ("taking the 5th" is not a "get out of legal jeopardy" card in a civil setting). It could wind up being a case that opens avenues to other stuff, especially tax evasion or other financial crimes.
 
2022-08-14 7:40:54 AM  

flamingboard: Mad Canadian: blastoh: DId you see the monkey.  I mean, the monkey is not a cat.  And cats have tails, you know, like monkeys, but Gorillas don't have tails.  And this is why I think bananas don't taste like apples.

It's basic science.  Just like the scientific name for a gorilla is 'Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla'.

Which leads to the question of "Can a Buffalo buffalo buffalo a gorilla gorilla gorilla"?

Bison Bison Bison


Badger Badger Badger
 
Displayed 50 of 113 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.