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(The Daily Beast)   Hi, we heard you were gullible, so we're offering you a TV that cures cancer, but it only works if you're gullible   (thedailybeast.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Computer, Sandra Rose Michael, Energy Enhancement System, EE System, Conspiracy theory, Computer monitor, EE System device, Barbara Pinder  
•       •       •

4715 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 13 Aug 2022 at 8:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



78 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-13 8:22:50 PM  
It's almost like a cryptocurrency.
 
2022-08-13 8:24:24 PM  
Lol get grifted, rubes.
 
2022-08-13 8:26:44 PM  
Can we get a tv commercial blast of this everywhere right winger olds watch tv? Let this guy drain them of money.
 
2022-08-13 8:29:39 PM  
Repo Man (3/10) Movie CLIP - The Reverend's Telethon (1984) HD
Youtube sAO0owc4xeY

"Put it on a plate, son, it'll taste better."
 
2022-08-13 8:30:35 PM  
Skip to the part where you all drink a bunch of poison, please.
 
2022-08-13 8:31:16 PM  
Maybe we can bring this back and get all of them into it. The world would be a better place.

preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 8:31:38 PM  
Alien televisions? I've met Aliens. They want nothing to do with us apart from seeing what is wrong with us. I keep telling them that I don't know...human seem completely irrational.
 
2022-08-13 8:32:29 PM  
Jesus... If I hadn't been raised with actual moral values and had farking empathy for my fellow man (within reason obviously), I could make a freaking mint on these braindead amoebas...
 
2022-08-13 8:35:48 PM  

iheartscotch: Alien televisions? I've met Aliens. They want nothing to do with us apart from seeing what is wrong with us. I keep telling them that I don't know...human seem completely irrational.


They do enjoy watching us.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 8:35:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Long live the new flesh!
 
2022-08-13 8:37:57 PM  
But to Michael, the devices are blasting their recipients with a unique kind of energy wave that effectively jumpstarts their DNA, teaching their bodies how to heal.

Wow that's a lot of wrong for one sentence.  I assume "unique kind" means some sort of mythical hyper-specific frequency of EM wave rather than some Nobel peace prize level sh*t where it's a wave in a previously undiscovered type medium.  You don't "jumpstart" DNA.  It just "is" until other stuff in the cells do something with it.  "Teaching your body how to heal" is possibly the least stupid part of it, since that's the kind of language even doctors use sometimes when talking about stuff like the immune system and vaccines.

Like...anyone that buys this stuff is a poster child for why we need quality science classes in high school, even if you're never going to science again after you graduate.
 
2022-08-13 8:38:39 PM  
FTA "It's not clear what Michael's followers are getting for their money."

Actually I think it's pretty clear
 
2022-08-13 8:39:05 PM  
As I've said, I don't like grifters, snake oil salesmen, etc. on the other hand, MAGATs, and qbeciles deserve to be relieved of every cent they have.

Let's call it a wash.
 
2022-08-13 8:41:01 PM  

Dave2042: FTA "It's not clear what Michael's followers are getting for their money."

Actually I think it's pretty clear


Pic of what they're getting.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 8:41:15 PM  
Yeah, some one woke up one morning and realized if people were stupid enough to believe their shiat, they'd believe anything.
 
2022-08-13 8:41:24 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: iheartscotch: Alien televisions? I've met Aliens. They want nothing to do with us apart from seeing what is wrong with us. I keep telling them that I don't know...human seem completely irrational.

They do enjoy watching us.

[Fark user image image 236x750]


Yeah. They really do like watching us. Like we're the worst reality show in the entire universe...because we are.

Crap! I should not have told you guys the truth. Nobody tell the aliens or I'll never get to go to the strip club out by Pluto again.

/ won't someone think about the Catgirls from Venus?
 
2022-08-13 8:43:20 PM  

iheartscotch: Alien televisions? I've met Aliens. They want nothing to do with us apart from seeing what is wrong with us. I keep telling them that I don't know...human seem completely irrational.


thepulp.netView Full Size

Alien television? I believe you mean an interocitor
 
2022-08-13 8:46:26 PM  
Why buy this when they can get my cure-all wi-fi router for only $50K.  While supplies last!
 
2022-08-13 8:48:27 PM  
I'm really in the wrong line of work.
 
2022-08-13 8:48:41 PM  
Someone should modify them to release harmful amounts of microwaves.
 
2022-08-13 8:50:59 PM  
"If God had not wanted them to be sheared he would not have made them sheep."
But seriously, how can they be doing this? Have they no shame? Don't they know Donald J. Trump needs the money to fight the elites and the fake FBI agents?
 
2022-08-13 8:51:13 PM  

kbronsito: iheartscotch: Alien televisions? I've met Aliens. They want nothing to do with us apart from seeing what is wrong with us. I keep telling them that I don't know...human seem completely irrational.

[thepulp.net image 550x395]
Alien television? I believe you mean an interocitor


Exeter really let himself go.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 8:51:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 8:54:24 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: iheartscotch: Alien televisions? I've met Aliens. They want nothing to do with us apart from seeing what is wrong with us. I keep telling them that I don't know...human seem completely irrational.

They do enjoy watching us.

[Fark user image image 236x750]


#1 is absolutely real. I'll bump myself and give out a preliminary ow. Just in case.
 
2022-08-13 8:58:40 PM  
That moment when you want to fight back against the nihilists hellbent on destroying the world, and you realize that there's nothing you can do to them worse than what they're doing to themselves.
 
2022-08-13 9:01:40 PM  
a supposedly miraculous healing device that can cure cancer, cystic fibrosis, and even autism.

Oh so autism is a bad thing now, to be cured?

"Conversion therapy" all over again. Jeez.
 
2022-08-13 9:02:10 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 9:02:12 PM  
In the world of sucker lists, Qanon has got to be one of the suckeriest.
 
2022-08-13 9:04:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 9:05:16 PM  

paswa17: [external-preview.redd.it image 500x333]


Meant to add, "Does it also repel tigers?"
 
2022-08-13 9:05:24 PM  

New Rising Sun: But to Michael, the devices are blasting their recipients with a unique kind of energy wave that effectively jumpstarts their DNA, teaching their bodies how to heal.

Wow that's a lot of wrong for one sentence.  I assume "unique kind" means some sort of mythical hyper-specific frequency of EM wave rather than some Nobel peace prize level sh*t where it's a wave in a previously undiscovered type medium.  You don't "jumpstart" DNA.  It just "is" until other stuff in the cells do something with it.  "Teaching your body how to heal" is possibly the least stupid part of it, since that's the kind of language even doctors use sometimes when talking about stuff like the immune system and vaccines.

Like...anyone that buys this stuff is a poster child for why we need quality science classes in high school, even if you're never going to science again after you graduate.


"Jumpstart DNA" could be interpreted as initiating transcription of its sequence into messenger RNA. Of course it would help to know which of the many possible genes was being jumpstarted. If you do it randomly you'll probably give yourself more cancer than you are curing.
 
2022-08-13 9:10:30 PM  

Ivo Shandor: New Rising Sun: But to Michael, the devices are blasting their recipients with a unique kind of energy wave that effectively jumpstarts their DNA, teaching their bodies how to heal.

Wow that's a lot of wrong for one sentence.  I assume "unique kind" means some sort of mythical hyper-specific frequency of EM wave rather than some Nobel peace prize level sh*t where it's a wave in a previously undiscovered type medium.  You don't "jumpstart" DNA.  It just "is" until other stuff in the cells do something with it.  "Teaching your body how to heal" is possibly the least stupid part of it, since that's the kind of language even doctors use sometimes when talking about stuff like the immune system and vaccines.

Like...anyone that buys this stuff is a poster child for why we need quality science classes in high school, even if you're never going to science again after you graduate.

"Jumpstart DNA" could be interpreted as initiating transcription of its sequence into messenger RNA. Of course it would help to know which of the many possible genes was being jumpstarted. If you do it randomly you'll probably give yourself more cancer than you are curing.


Wait... That sounds a lot like modifying DNA.

Isn't that what Pfizer and Moderna do? And they're against both of those...so they should be totally against this as well...
 
2022-08-13 9:11:05 PM  
A magical television? What ever happened to the good old days of having a Holy Penis to cure diseases?
 
2022-08-13 9:12:04 PM  

WastrelWay: It's almost like a cryptocurrency.


Well, in that you don't understand either I guess.
 
2022-08-13 9:13:03 PM  

danvon: As I've said, I don't like grifters, snake oil salesmen, etc. on the other hand, MAGATs, and qbeciles deserve to be relieved of every cent they have.

Let's call it a wash.


Unfortunately, the "side effects" of poverty can impact innocent third parties like spouses and children. It really is a "net negative".
 
2022-08-13 9:13:10 PM  
This feels like the anti 5g bracelets again.
 
2022-08-13 9:16:12 PM  
It's kind of surprising, but did you know the word "gullible" isn't actually in the dictionary?

/got my mom with that one once
//felt bad afterward
 
2022-08-13 9:17:12 PM  
From the makers of "My Pillow," it's "My Cancer Cure-Bed"!
 
2022-08-13 9:17:33 PM  
But does it contain enough copper to cure my joint aches? or some newly discovered herbal blend that can cure my ED? What about a proprietary memory foam pillow to give me the best sleep of my life!?
 
2022-08-13 9:18:14 PM  
It's so they can watch their favorite shows on the secret dark-channels... Like OAN...
also
[60fps] Black Flag - TV Party [OFFICIAL VIDEO 1983]
Youtube qNEBc2H4FbA
 
2022-08-13 9:20:36 PM  
Ugh.

I know that the people being suckered with this are self contained wretched hives of scum and villainy who would spit on me (at best) for my beliefs...but I can't laugh at this. People with cancer, or who have loved ones with cancer, are desperate and will do anything for a chance. People who take advantage of that fear and desperation are the worst.

Con people out of their money for a fence to nowhere to keep them furrigners out? No problem, take their money. Secretly trick them into doubling up their PAC contributions so you have more hookers and blow money to spread around, knock yourself out. But Sandra Rose Micheal should be fed through that cocaine smashing roller from License to Kill...face first.

/MAGAts are just her current flock
//not her first
///nor her last
 
2022-08-13 9:27:06 PM  
repository-images.githubusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 9:40:23 PM  

ISO15693: a supposedly miraculous healing device that can cure cancer, cystic fibrosis, and even autism.

Oh so autism is a bad thing now, to be cured?

"Conversion therapy" all over again. Jeez.


what, you think it's a happy thing for people on the spectrum? read a book.
 
2022-08-13 9:51:21 PM  

yellowjester: It's so they can watch their favorite shows on the secret dark-channels... Like OAN...
also
[YouTube video: [60fps] Black Flag - TV Party [OFFICIAL VIDEO 1983]]


That video brought me back and made me smile. Thanks for that
 
2022-08-13 9:52:26 PM  
Their money is safer in her pocket. Sad, but true. Placebo Effect is real.
 
2022-08-13 9:52:34 PM  

WastrelWay: It's almost like a cryptocurrency.


Non Fungible Television.
 
2022-08-13 10:03:28 PM  

New Rising Sun: But to Michael, the devices are blasting their recipients with a unique kind of energy wave that effectively jumpstarts their DNA, teaching their bodies how to heal.

Wow that's a lot of wrong for one sentence.  I assume "unique kind" means some sort of mythical hyper-specific frequency of EM wave rather than some Nobel peace prize level sh*t where it's a wave in a previously undiscovered type medium.  You don't "jumpstart" DNA.  It just "is" until other stuff in the cells do something with it.  "Teaching your body how to heal" is possibly the least stupid part of it, since that's the kind of language even doctors use sometimes when talking about stuff like the immune system and vaccines.

Like...anyone that buys this stuff is a poster child for why we need quality science classes in high school, even if you're never going to science again after you graduate.


It's not your fault they're stupid. Stop being Captain Save-a-Dumbass and just enjoy clown hour.

The people who need help don't want help. That requires too much "Am I wrong?" for their tiny brains to handle. Just look at it like Jersey Shore.
 
2022-08-13 10:04:51 PM  
Can I stream "Don't Get Cancer" on my regular TV through Netflix?
 
2022-08-13 10:07:53 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: Maybe we can bring this back and get all of them into it. The world would be a better place.

[preview.redd.it image 599x578]


IIRC, William S. Burroughs had one of these.
 
2022-08-13 10:12:49 PM  

yellowjester: It's so they can watch their favorite shows on the secret dark-channels... Like OAN...
also
[YouTube video: [60fps] Black Flag - TV Party [OFFICIAL VIDEO 1983]]


Monday night football! Dallas! Saturday night live!
 
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