Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CTV News)   This is a hijacking. Take this plane to Moose Jaw   (toronto.ctvnews.ca) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Flight attendant, Canadian passenger alcohol, LOT Polish Airlines flight, Canadian man, crew members, Airline, Salman Rushdie, CTV News Toronto  
•       •       •

2265 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2022 at 10:46 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-12 10:50:08 PM  
Better call ahead to the Moose Jaw tower so they can zamboni the runway before your arrival.
 
2022-08-12 10:50:15 PM  
That's it.  None of you guys can behave yourselves.  Nobody flies anymore.  Invest that money into  commercial cross-country buses.

Sorry.
 
2022-08-12 10:51:24 PM  
-Two polish Pilots are trying to land a plane
They approach the ground, but they really struggle with the runway. The plane nearly crashes, but they finally are able to land it.
"Jesus," one pilot says. "That was the shortest runway ever."
"Yeah, and did you see how wide it was?"
 
2022-08-12 10:57:59 PM  
I hope he has to book steerage class on a freighter to get home because no airline will fly home and no cruise ship will have him.
 
2022-08-12 11:03:20 PM  
He was spitting on people. What do you want to bet he's  one of those Q infected protest  truckers?
 
2022-08-12 11:03:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Oooh my goddd....
 
2022-08-12 11:06:52 PM  

Billy Liar: That's it.  None of you guys can behave yourselves.  Nobody flies anymore.  Invest that money into  commercial cross-country buses.

Sorry.


Maybe quit serving alcohol in airports and on planes. Plus, you have to take a breathalyzer prior to boarding so that you can't guzzle a fifth in the airport garage before boarding.

I think we should start adding lithium to the water, to go with the fluoride. Calm, and with good teeth.

Offhand, is there an organic lithium compound that's naturally occurring? Much of it comes from South America. I wonder if there's some village in Chile, Bolivia, or Argentina where the residents are just chill as fark from the lithium in the environment.
 
2022-08-12 11:09:16 PM  
Arm the flight attendants with tranquilizer dart guns. No fuss, no muss, the idiot sleeps peacefully until the plane lands. No need to divert to another airport, either.
 
2022-08-12 11:13:31 PM  
How many planes does it take a light bulb to change a polock?
 
2022-08-12 11:21:36 PM  
LOT Polish Airlines Press Officer Krzysztof Moczulski told CTV News Toronto.

The jokes write themselves.
 
2022-08-12 11:26:59 PM  
media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 11:34:11 PM  

Billy Liar: That's it.  None of you guys can behave yourselves.  Nobody flies anymore.  Invest that money into  commercial cross-country buses.

Sorry.


Greyhound has a bad rep in Canada. There's been... incidents.

They wound up cancelling most of their routes. Which meant no bus service to a LOT of places. It hasn't really resulted in changing anything but the amount of cannibalism and mayhem on Greyhound buses.
 
mjg
2022-08-12 11:37:59 PM  
Screw Regina.
/ Stoon, MJ, PA REPRESENT

Experience Regina
Youtube 74B5kMLNd5Q
 
2022-08-12 11:42:00 PM  
So he wanted

Fark user imageView Full Size


Pizza?
 
2022-08-12 11:43:24 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


R.I.P. Bertha Does Moosejaw.

/not obscure in Ottawa
//saw thier last show ever at Zaphods
 
2022-08-12 11:50:20 PM  
One consequence of having 9/11 in my adult memory is that I'll happily die fighting to subdue any violent fellow passenger and, when I fly, I'm ready & eager to do so at the drop of a hat.
 
2022-08-12 11:52:57 PM  
Hmmm. Not sure why they would want to go there. Runways would be okay, not great for landing there (7200' and 8000 something?).

Plus he'd be awarded by a bunch of annoying RCAF pilot trainees.

/Also, no meese on the runway there. Just the occasional deer and coyote
 
2022-08-13 12:10:25 AM  
Remember: Airlines do not recommend their staff duct tape passengers to their seats.
 
2022-08-13 12:13:28 AM  

indy_kid: Billy Liar: That's it.  None of you guys can behave yourselves.  Nobody flies anymore.  Invest that money into  commercial cross-country buses.

Sorry.

Maybe quit serving alcohol in airports and on planes. Plus, you have to take a breathalyzer prior to boarding so that you can't guzzle a fifth in the airport garage before boarding.

I think we should start adding lithium to the water, to go with the fluoride. Calm, and with good teeth.

Offhand, is there an organic lithium compound that's naturally occurring? Much of it comes from South America. I wonder if there's some village in Chile, Bolivia, or Argentina where the residents are just chill as fark from the lithium in the environment.


In the same sense that a large group of walkers is pretty chill if there aren't any tasty hoomans running around
 
2022-08-13 12:19:32 AM  
that shiat is scary. I was flying back from Ireland and a dude freaked out. halfway across the Atlantic he sprinted for the door and started pulling the handle and yelling. a stewardess tried to calm him and he punched her in the face. there were a few large men waiting for the restroom who then beat the shiat out of him. he was handcuffed and put in the seat behind me which was great. kick, kick, kick.
everyone was worried about a bomb that maybe he had set and was trying to escape from. I remember distinctly that the people in first class had no idea what happened and looked back in horror at the rest of us in tears. I also remember almost everyone hitting the button to get a drink. Aer Lingus was kind enough to comp the drinks.
sucked though since it took a while to get the douche off the plane and arrested. as a smoker the extra few hours did me no favors.
end of CSB
 
2022-08-13 12:25:04 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 12:53:18 AM  
indy_kid:

Lithium is more toxic than fluoride, esp. long-term
 
2022-08-13 1:07:05 AM  
Moose Jaw!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-13 1:25:25 AM  

ProfessorTerguson: -Two polish Pilots are trying to land a plane
They approach the ground, but they really struggle with the runway. The plane nearly crashes, but they finally are able to land it.
"Jesus," one pilot says. "That was the shortest runway ever."
"Yeah, and did you see how wide it was?"


I have a half-baked theory that Polish jokes were made up by Nazis so people would laugh when they invaded Poland.
 
2022-08-13 1:32:01 AM  
chucknasty:

fun anecdote, thx.  here's mine:

this one time I was flying Oslo-JFK and a guy said he had a headache and called an attendant.  he started getting louder and whinier and demanded a doctor, so the flight attendants located one and she kinda checked on him.  suddenly he started yelling about how we need to land the plane NOW.  now now now, he has a headache, it's super serious and he's definitely dying, we need to land.

the doctor, who didn't find anything seriously wrong with him, talked to him calmly.  he asked for her name and said he was going to sue her for everything she had, this was malpractice.  he was going to sue everybody.

"PUT THE PLANE DOWN RIGHT NOW.  LOOK AT THE MAP THERE'S AN ISLAND RIGHT THERE."  lol, yes buddy, they're gonna land a 787 on freakin Sable Island because you need an ibuprofen.  an FA politely told him that was not happening.  he called her a biatch, and then the doctor, and then another FA who had come over.  he was going to sue them all, for every last penny.

by this time most of the cabin had heard him yelling.  he kicked his tantrum up a notch.  "WELL YOU BETTER LAND IT BECAUSE I HAVE A BOMB, DO YOU HEAR ME?  I HAVE A BOMB AND I'M GONNA BLOW UP THIS WHOLE PLANE, YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE."  several gasps from passengers.  it was pretty obvious he was bluffing for attention, but still, wtf man that's out of line.  the flight attendants flipped over to Situation Mode and sternly told him to can it.  "WELL I HAVE EBOLA TOO AND YOU'RE ALL INFECTED!"  now everyone knew he was bluffing and the tension lifted some.

another FA was called over.  he said something to Headache Guy that made him rapidly shut up.  there was only sporadic, non-terroristic whining for the rest of the flight, though we had to wait for the popo to pick him up when we landed.  that was an ...interesting trip.
 
2022-08-13 1:40:15 AM  

starsrift: Billy Liar: That's it.  None of you guys can behave yourselves.  Nobody flies anymore.  Invest that money into  commercial cross-country buses.

Sorry.

Greyhound has a bad rep in Canada. There's been... incidents.

They wound up cancelling most of their routes. Which meant no bus service to a LOT of places. It hasn't really resulted in changing anything but the amount of cannibalism and mayhem on Greyhound buses.


One beheading and Canadians got scared
Said, "Fark that shiat. I'll brave the air."
 
2022-08-13 1:46:38 AM  

Inchoate: chucknasty:

fun anecdote, thx.  here's mine:

this one time I was flying Oslo-JFK and a guy said he had a headache and called an attendant.  he started getting louder and whinier and demanded a doctor, so the flight attendants located one and she kinda checked on him.  suddenly he started yelling about how we need to land the plane NOW.  now now now, he has a headache, it's super serious and he's definitely dying, we need to land.

the doctor, who didn't find anything seriously wrong with him, talked to him calmly.  he asked for her name and said he was going to sue her for everything she had, this was malpractice.  he was going to sue everybody.

"PUT THE PLANE DOWN RIGHT NOW.  LOOK AT THE MAP THERE'S AN ISLAND RIGHT THERE."  lol, yes buddy, they're gonna land a 787 on freakin Sable Island because you need an ibuprofen.  an FA politely told him that was not happening.  he called her a biatch, and then the doctor, and then another FA who had come over.  he was going to sue them all, for every last penny.

by this time most of the cabin had heard him yelling.  he kicked his tantrum up a notch.  "WELL YOU BETTER LAND IT BECAUSE I HAVE A BOMB, DO YOU HEAR ME?  I HAVE A BOMB AND I'M GONNA BLOW UP THIS WHOLE PLANE, YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE."  several gasps from passengers.  it was pretty obvious he was bluffing for attention, but still, wtf man that's out of line.  the flight attendants flipped over to Situation Mode and sternly told him to can it.  "WELL I HAVE EBOLA TOO AND YOU'RE ALL INFECTED!"  now everyone knew he was bluffing and the tension lifted some.

another FA was called over.  he said something to Headache Guy that made him rapidly shut up.  there was only sporadic, non-terroristic whining for the rest of the flight, though we had to wait for the popo to pick him up when we landed.  that was an ...interesting trip.


And then everyone got Ebola!
 
2022-08-13 1:56:05 AM  
Trying to open a door in flight isn't really a hijacking though. If anything, it's a byejacking.
 
2022-08-13 2:17:34 AM  

mjg: Screw Regina.
/ Stoon, MJ, PA REPRESENT

[YouTube video: Experience Regina]


I'm here. PA represent!!

/Hardly poor deadly this thread isn't
 
2022-08-13 2:58:56 AM  

OkieDookie: starsrift: Billy Liar: That's it.  None of you guys can behave yourselves.  Nobody flies anymore.  Invest that money into  commercial cross-country buses.

Sorry.

Greyhound has a bad rep in Canada. There's been... incidents.

They wound up cancelling most of their routes. Which meant no bus service to a LOT of places. It hasn't really resulted in changing anything but the amount of cannibalism and mayhem on Greyhound buses.

One beheading and Canadians got scared
Said, "Fark that shiat. I'll brave the air."


I blame Greyhound. When it was Voyageur Bus Lines they were fine. The worst thing I ever saw was some guy who had just got out of jail in Peterborough, and he and his buddy had somehow smuggled a 2-4 of beer onto the bus. But they were just loud, not violent.
 
2022-08-13 9:12:41 AM  
Greyhound kind of lost its head in Canada.
 
2022-08-13 11:48:29 AM  
sounds like it sucked to be on that flight, and to be forced back to Warsaw from Reykjavík

but all I could think of was:
Marx Brothers Night At The Opera- Aviators Speech Scene
Youtube 38N5OcZx3ko
 
Displayed 32 of 32 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.