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(Variety)   Alleged cheating husband hit by Branch   (variety.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Michelle Branch, Patrick Carney, The Black Keys, Hotel Paper, court documents, Branch's bail, The Spirit Room, TMZ  
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2476 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Aug 2022 at 4:05 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-12 4:07:30 PM  
Always had a crush on her.

/Call me Michelle!
//I can take a beating!
 
2022-08-12 4:10:23 PM  
Her husband is goofy looking.  Who did he bang?  The sister in the back bedroom from pet semetery?
 
2022-08-12 4:10:30 PM  
It looks like she got popped, too.

If she's smart, she shuts up and lets the lawyers do the talking from here on out.
 
2022-08-12 4:21:48 PM  
Jack White should pay Branch's legal fees. He's a fan of smacking around Patrick Carney.
 
2022-08-12 4:29:47 PM  
I'm not big on physical altercations but I'm pretty sure I can take a punch from a chick.
 
2022-08-12 4:30:03 PM  

dallylamma: Jack White should pay Branch's legal fees. He's a fan of smacking around Patrick Carney.


There's a blast from the past.
 
2022-08-12 4:30:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Daughter, I am dissapoint.

 
2022-08-12 4:36:26 PM  
E flat pentatonic minor is my Black Keys cover band name

/I don't like the Black Keys
 
2022-08-12 4:37:17 PM  

AeAe: I'm not big on physical altercations but I'm pretty sure I can take a punch from a chick.


Be seeing you soon!

qph.cf2.quoracdn.netView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 4:50:36 PM  

JohnBigBootay: dallylamma: Jack White should pay Branch's legal fees. He's a fan of smacking around Patrick Carney.

There's a blast from the past.


Since we're doing a music theme, the term is "deep cut."
 
2022-08-12 5:01:54 PM  

Trocadero: JohnBigBootay: dallylamma: Jack White should pay Branch's legal fees. He's a fan of smacking around Patrick Carney.

There's a blast from the past.

Since we're doing a music theme, the term is "deep cut."


That's fair.
 
2022-08-12 5:02:40 PM  

imashark: [Fark user image image 249x183]
Daughter, I am dissapoint.


So we're saying she got out of control, and her hubby was lucky to live through it?
 
2022-08-12 5:03:38 PM  
What a shame, she sure was a super cutie back when she had her big hit.
 
2022-08-12 5:04:49 PM  
Is she gonna tell him "goodbye to you-oo-whe?"

Seriously what is it with the way she sing pronounces shizz?
 
2022-08-12 5:15:51 PM  
This feels like something that happened in the middle of the third season of a reality show about celebs that haven't been relavent for years.  You know, like so many other reality shows.
 
2022-08-12 5:18:27 PM  
She hit-tah him in the face-ah with her fist-ah?

/Bought her first album, every line for every single song sounds like she is doing a bad Italian English accent.  Still enjoyed the album though.
 
2022-08-12 5:30:31 PM  

LazyPredator: She hit-tah him in the face-ah with her fist-ah?

/Bought her first album, every line for every single song sounds like she is doing a bad Italian English accent.  Still enjoyed the album though.


Italian or James Hetfield?
 
2022-08-12 5:45:14 PM  
The cops shouldn't have been called; He shouldn't have pressed charges. He's a big dude.
What a shame of him. I never preferred their music/ sound; Now I truly don't think too much of the guy.
There are details I don't know of course, but sounds like he should have let her go through the motions, generally, short of true harm.
I hope this gets put behind her quick, but the legal system over prescribes and is a nightmare once someone is in the system
 
2022-08-12 6:00:17 PM  

BeardedDragonLizardMan: The cops shouldn't have been called; He shouldn't have pressed charges. He's a big dude.
What a shame of him. I never preferred their music/ sound; Now I truly don't think too much of the guy.
There are details I don't know of course, but sounds like he should have let her go through the motions, generally, short of true harm.
I hope this gets put behind her quick, but the legal system over prescribes and is a nightmare once someone is in the system


pretty sure since there's kids involved, the legal system is on her side.

But she needs to stop being a Nashvillian and be more of a Georgia Satellite,

GEORGIA SATELLITES - Keep Your Hands To Yourself
Youtube PdpAop7gp0w


/or keep her hands to Lsherm, apparently.
 
2022-08-12 6:10:27 PM  
What a monster. She nearly made him drop his IPA and Subaru keys.

Every time a hipster gets punched, a child and a puppy get adopted.
 
2022-08-12 6:15:18 PM  

BeardedDragonLizardMan: The cops shouldn't have been called; He shouldn't have pressed charges. He's a big dude.
What a shame of him. I never preferred their music/ sound; Now I truly don't think too much of the guy.
There are details I don't know of course, but sounds like he should have let her go through the motions, generally, short of true harm.
I hope this gets put behind her quick, but the legal system over prescribes and is a nightmare once someone is in the system


Welcome back Meow. Been a while.
 
2022-08-12 6:50:41 PM  

WoodyHayes: What a shame, she sure was a super cutie back when she had her big hit.


Name checks out.
 
2022-08-12 7:16:53 PM  

AeAe: I'm not big on physical altercations but I'm pretty sure I can take a punch from a chick.


I'm not very big, but I have been known to put a 6 foot man that outweighed me by at least 50 pounds out of commission for a long time.

Large stomp in the groin region.

I do not play nice.
 
2022-08-12 7:17:05 PM  

Another Government Employee: It looks like she got popped, too.

If she's smart, she shuts up and lets the lawyers do the talking from here on out.


That's a birthmark.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 7:21:45 PM  

BeardedDragonLizardMan: The cops shouldn't have been called; He shouldn't have pressed charges. He's a big dude.
What a shame of him. I never preferred their music/ sound; Now I truly don't think too much of the guy.
There are details I don't know of course, but sounds like he should have let her go through the motions, generally, short of true harm.
I hope this gets put behind her quick, but the legal system over prescribes and is a nightmare once someone is in the system


Sometimes, it's good to have things on an official record just in case things escalate later.

Many years ago, I was being harassed and stalked by a former client. It started with deranged messages she left on my voice-mail. I chalked it up to mental illness, and was going to ignore it. My boss and the company's security advisor told me to call the cops, play it for them, and let them write it up in case anything ever did happen. While nothing came from it on my end after a few more voice-mails, she did smear her own shiat all over a colleagues front door, and she broke into her neighbor's home and wrote threats in blood all over the walls. She ended up being arrested somewhere near Kentucky for calling in a bomb threat to a federal building. I hope she got the help she needed.
 
2022-08-12 7:42:55 PM  
Their version of 'Horse with No Name' from the Bojack Horseman soundtrack was awesome.

/that's the one reason I know who the heck they are...
 
2022-08-12 7:48:54 PM  
So she's single? She's alooooooo a whoa whoa oooone?
 
2022-08-12 8:03:40 PM  
Why'd he have to go and make things so complicated?
 
2022-08-12 8:24:49 PM  

AeAe: I'm not big on physical altercations but I'm pretty sure I can take a punch from a chick.


Was just a slap stories say.
 
2022-08-12 8:28:44 PM  
One of her colleagues one sang, "A kiss with a fist is better than none"
 
2022-08-12 8:33:20 PM  
knowing the "Chris Rock" in this instance gives me,
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 8:52:02 PM  
I don't condone violence under most circumstances. It isn't right, but in this case I understand her reaction. The allegedly cheating husband, however, was well within his rights to call the police. Still, he sounds like a real piece of work.
 
2022-08-12 9:09:17 PM  
oblig
Basil thrashes his car - Fawlty Towers - BBC
Youtube mv0onXhyLlE
 
2022-08-12 9:20:21 PM  
I'd wrestle her.
 
2022-08-12 9:23:47 PM  

Already Disturbed: Another Government Employee: It looks like she got popped, too.

If she's smart, she shuts up and lets the lawyers do the talking from here on out.

That's a birthmark.
[Fark user image image 425x624]


I'd cover it.
 
2022-08-12 9:46:45 PM  
A real man would let the little woman tire her little fists and feet out.  A real man just takes the abuse, because women dont have agency and cant be held to the same standard of "dont hit people.  Yes even if the cheat".  Can a man hit a woman if she cheats?  No he cant.  Because the man has agency.
 
2022-08-12 9:56:02 PM  
"court documents revealed Branch had slapped Carney in the face "one to two times." Branch's bail was set at $1,000."

Pro tip: some people will pay you $1k for that. No bail required.
 
2022-08-12 10:33:23 PM  
They are in divorce proceedings, or they are imminent.   He did the right thing legally to protect himself and his interests.   Not taking sides in this nonsense, but that is what any person should do when nearing divorce.   I'd be surprised if she doesn't press counter-charges.   (IANAL)
 
2022-08-12 10:58:05 PM  

cherryl taggart: AeAe: I'm not big on physical altercations but I'm pretty sure I can take a punch from a chick.

I'm not very big, but I have been known to put a 6 foot man that outweighed me by at least 50 pounds out of commission for a long time.

Large stomp in the groin region.

I do not play nice.


-
Well ok. I said a 'punch' not a kick to my dick.
 
2022-08-12 11:25:15 PM  
It's all fun and games until the game of Slap Happy Wife turns into Stab Happy, like someone found out after their OnlyFans model girlfriend knifed him to bits.

Domestic violence can happen both ways, please respect the victims.
 
2022-08-13 12:03:21 AM  

DeathByGeekSquad: It's all fun and games until the game of Slap Happy Wife turns into Stab Happy, like someone found out after their OnlyFans model girlfriend knifed him to bits.

Domestic violence can happen both ways, please respect the victims.


I knew of a couple where the wife regularly knocked the husband around. She was easily over 6 feet tall and he was maybe 5'2".  I sincerely hope he got out. Women are generally the victims, but there is no doubt that men suffer too and it is not ok for either to engage in abusive behavior, thinking they can get away with it.
 
2022-08-13 12:12:50 AM  
Well she must be everywhere.
 
2022-08-13 7:31:06 AM  
It started with a kiss now she's got a bat
 
2022-08-13 1:57:42 PM  
I hate his farking band with the white hot heat of 1000 suns, but no one deserves to be struck. Even someone who plays and sets up drums like he just discovered the instrument 6 hours prior.
 
2022-08-13 3:00:02 PM  

darch: I hate his farking band with the white hot heat of 1000 suns, but no one deserves to be struck. Even someone who plays and sets up drums like he just discovered the instrument 6 hours prior.


Oh, he's a drummer. That explains a lot.
 
2022-08-13 4:26:19 PM  

Wendigogo: darch: I hate his farking band with the white hot heat of 1000 suns, but no one deserves to be struck. Even someone who plays and sets up drums like he just discovered the instrument 6 hours prior.

Oh, he's a drummer. That explains a lot.


Hey!
 
2022-08-13 6:56:32 PM  

darch: Wendigogo: darch: I hate his farking band with the white hot heat of 1000 suns, but no one deserves to be struck. Even someone who plays and sets up drums like he just discovered the instrument 6 hours prior.

Oh, he's a drummer. That explains a lot.

Hey!


I kid 😏
 
2022-08-13 9:31:52 PM  

Wendigogo: darch: Wendigogo: darch: I hate his farking band with the white hot heat of 1000 suns, but no one deserves to be struck. Even someone who plays and sets up drums like he just discovered the instrument 6 hours prior.

Oh, he's a drummer. That explains a lot.

Hey!

I kid 😏


It's all good. I'm used to the jokes.
 
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