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(NYPost)   A job where my memories have been surgically divided between work and my personal life so I dont wake up at 2AM dreaming what i could have done differently at work? Sign me up   (nypost.com) divider line
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912 clicks; posted to Business » on 12 Aug 2022 at 5:05 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-12 6:38:25 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 6:38:41 AM  
Lol, I woke up at 2AM last night thinking about something I said on a call yesterday that might land me on the RIF list (we have a restructuring window open right now and all you need to do is piss someone off and you're on it). I'm on the fence as to whether I should care...

So I know what I'm talking about.
 
2022-08-12 7:02:50 AM  
Hey, I like it when I fix bugs in my sleep.

As long as I still remember how the next morning.
 
2022-08-12 7:10:42 AM  

H31N0US: Lol, I woke up at 2AM last night thinking about something I said on a call yesterday that might land me on the RIF list (we have a restructuring window open right now and all you need to do is piss someone off and you're on it). I'm on the fence as to whether I should care...

So I know what I'm talking about.


ugh, been there.

You can have it, subs, but count me out.
While one part of you is on permanent vacation the other part never leaves the office.
Ne-Ver.
Every waking moment is Lumbergh and TPS reports, someone's seafood in the microwave, shiatty birthday cake, bad-coffee bowel disorder, customer complaints, deadlines, coworker's annoying mannerisms...
I would be crying under a desk within a month.
And if you ever scored with that hottie from accounting, you wouldn't know it.

/now WFH full time :-)
 
2022-08-12 7:37:07 AM  
I run heavy equipment. I'm decent with a skid steer or telehandler, good enough with a wheel loader for people to notice, but my JAM is excavators.

I run big stuff. Excavators with more than 1 swing motor, and more than 1 step just to get to the top of the tracks. What's even more fun is long-sticks. The machines that can literally reach out 25-30 meters and fark up your entire week if you do things wrong. I'm detail oriented, so I'm basically $diety at running things like a Cat 340 long stick around a mess of pilings and buried electrical.

Guess what? My job doesn't follow me home. I literally don't care when the day ends. I get my shiat sorted at the start of the day with the GDA and other paperwork. I'll do an hour of paper, or TWO hours of paper, so the rest of my day is set up right and I don't have "collision issues" with services.

When I was in maintenance, it was the same. I'd do OT to fix egregious issues that the next shift would probably choke on, but I generally made sure I had my work DONE at end of shift. I knew my machines. You ever felt your ears pull back unexpectedly because something in the plant started humming differently?

That pump is going to fark off shortly. Pull it now. No I don't have "proof", farkhead. Pull it anyway. My ears are unhappy. Yes really. Go in the office and see if the plant manager looks uneasy. He's ex-maintenance and has mechanic ear. Don't ask, just look. He looks like he wants to kill something? PULL THE PUMP.

Welp, it's 4 PM. I'm going home. Oh, you need that fixed? So overtime, yes?

/cue wankers who will say that something something internet enabled bla bla bla
//if your job is connected to the internet, that's your fault, you idiot
///the sheer volume of stuff that's "internet enabled" for no reason boggles me. IoT is a curse.
//gonna be a while before sensors replace "cranky old fark ear"
/if they ask you to work on your time, GET PAID.
 
2022-08-12 8:10:06 AM  

GrendelMk1: I run heavy equipment. I'm decent with a skid steer or telehandler, good enough with a wheel loader for people to notice, but my JAM is excavators.

I run big stuff. Excavators with more than 1 swing motor, and more than 1 step just to get to the top of the tracks. What's even more fun is long-sticks. The machines that can literally reach out 25-30 meters and fark up your entire week if you do things wrong. I'm detail oriented, so I'm basically $diety at running things like a Cat 340 long stick around a mess of pilings and buried electrical.

Guess what? My job doesn't follow me home. I literally don't care when the day ends. I get my shiat sorted at the start of the day with the GDA and other paperwork. I'll do an hour of paper, or TWO hours of paper, so the rest of my day is set up right and I don't have "collision issues" with services.

When I was in maintenance, it was the same. I'd do OT to fix egregious issues that the next shift would probably choke on, but I generally made sure I had my work DONE at end of shift. I knew my machines. You ever felt your ears pull back unexpectedly because something in the plant started humming differently?

That pump is going to fark off shortly. Pull it now. No I don't have "proof", farkhead. Pull it anyway. My ears are unhappy. Yes really. Go in the office and see if the plant manager looks uneasy. He's ex-maintenance and has mechanic ear. Don't ask, just look. He looks like he wants to kill something? PULL THE PUMP.

Welp, it's 4 PM. I'm going home. Oh, you need that fixed? So overtime, yes?

/cue wankers who will say that something something internet enabled bla bla bla
//if your job is connected to the internet, that's your fault, you idiot
///the sheer volume of stuff that's "internet enabled" for no reason boggles me. IoT is a curse.
//gonna be a while before sensors replace "cranky old fark ear"
/if they ask you to work on your time, GET PAID.


Intuition is a powerful thing.
 
2022-08-12 8:34:28 AM  
Am I they only one who watched Severance and was reminded of Nowhere Man?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nowhere_Man_(American_TV_series)
 
2022-08-12 8:51:31 AM  
I wish i had something I could put on at work, like a helmet or earpiece or whatever, that would shut my consciousness down and enable me to thoughtlessly complete the menial, mind-numbing, soul-crushing, often pointless and/or contradictory crap that makes up my job. Then at the end of the shift I take it off and go home with no memory of the completely wasted time i just slogged through.

I think I'd be happier and have a better attitude at work if i was basically a zombie for 8 hours.
 
2022-08-12 8:58:19 AM  
I've recently started dreaming about work again. The other night I was working on some live system issue when a colleague wanted help with a program written in Algol 65. I remember thinking that I'd used Algol 68 at Uni and would have to research Algol 65

/I retired 8.5 years ago
 
2022-08-12 10:11:20 AM  

Odd Bird: H31N0US: Lol, I woke up at 2AM last night thinking about something I said on a call yesterday that might land me on the RIF list (we have a restructuring window open right now and all you need to do is piss someone off and you're on it). I'm on the fence as to whether I should care...

So I know what I'm talking about.

ugh, been there.

You can have it, subs, but count me out.
While one part of you is on permanent vacation the other part never leaves the office.
Ne-Ver.
Every waking moment is Lumbergh and TPS reports, someone's seafood in the microwave, shiatty birthday cake, bad-coffee bowel disorder, customer complaints, deadlines, coworker's annoying mannerisms...
I would be crying under a desk within a month.
And if you ever scored with that hottie from accounting, you wouldn't know it.

/now WFH full time :-)


The Key is to not care

Labor does not matter in murca
Only stock owners and owners of capital matter
 
2022-08-12 10:15:33 AM  

jamspoon: I've recently started dreaming about work again. The other night I was working on some live system issue when a colleague wanted help with a program written in Algol 65. I remember thinking that I'd used Algol 68 at Uni and would have to research Algol 65

/I retired 8.5 years ago


If it's anything like the university dreams (aka "Oh god, I have a final exam tomorrow and I haven't actually attended any lectures").... they never really go away.
 
2022-08-12 10:16:06 AM  

GrendelMk1: I run heavy equipment. I'm decent with a skid steer or telehandler, good enough with a wheel loader for people to notice, but my JAM is excavators.

I run big stuff. Excavators with more than 1 swing motor, and more than 1 step just to get to the top of the tracks. What's even more fun is long-sticks. The machines that can literally reach out 25-30 meters and fark up your entire week if you do things wrong. I'm detail oriented, so I'm basically $diety at running things like a Cat 340 long stick around a mess of pilings and buried electrical.

Guess what? My job doesn't follow me home. I literally don't care when the day ends. I get my shiat sorted at the start of the day with the GDA and other paperwork. I'll do an hour of paper, or TWO hours of paper, so the rest of my day is set up right and I don't have "collision issues" with services.

When I was in maintenance, it was the same. I'd do OT to fix egregious issues that the next shift would probably choke on, but I generally made sure I had my work DONE at end of shift. I knew my machines. You ever felt your ears pull back unexpectedly because something in the plant started humming differently?

That pump is going to fark off shortly. Pull it now. No I don't have "proof", farkhead. Pull it anyway. My ears are unhappy. Yes really. Go in the office and see if the plant manager looks uneasy. He's ex-maintenance and has mechanic ear. Don't ask, just look. He looks like he wants to kill something? PULL THE PUMP.

Welp, it's 4 PM. I'm going home. Oh, you need that fixed? So overtime, yes?

/cue wankers who will say that something something internet enabled bla bla bla
//if your job is connected to the internet, that's your fault, you idiot
///the sheer volume of stuff that's "internet enabled" for no reason boggles me. IoT is a curse.
//gonna be a while before sensors replace "cranky old fark ear"
/if they ask you to work on your time, GET PAID.


Automation is the single biggest reason for blue collar job loss

AI will do same for white collar jobs in the next 10 to 20 years

Stock owners profit and labor pays
 
2022-08-12 10:18:48 AM  

baronbloodbath: GrendelMk1: I run heavy equipment. I'm decent with a skid steer or telehandler, good enough with a wheel loader for people to notice, but my JAM is excavators.

I run big stuff. Excavators with more than 1 swing motor, and more than 1 step just to get to the top of the tracks. What's even more fun is long-sticks. The machines that can literally reach out 25-30 meters and fark up your entire week if you do things wrong. I'm detail oriented, so I'm basically $diety at running things like a Cat 340 long stick around a mess of pilings and buried electrical.

Guess what? My job doesn't follow me home. I literally don't care when the day ends. I get my shiat sorted at the start of the day with the GDA and other paperwork. I'll do an hour of paper, or TWO hours of paper, so the rest of my day is set up right and I don't have "collision issues" with services.

When I was in maintenance, it was the same. I'd do OT to fix egregious issues that the next shift would probably choke on, but I generally made sure I had my work DONE at end of shift. I knew my machines. You ever felt your ears pull back unexpectedly because something in the plant started humming differently?

That pump is going to fark off shortly. Pull it now. No I don't have "proof", farkhead. Pull it anyway. My ears are unhappy. Yes really. Go in the office and see if the plant manager looks uneasy. He's ex-maintenance and has mechanic ear. Don't ask, just look. He looks like he wants to kill something? PULL THE PUMP.

Welp, it's 4 PM. I'm going home. Oh, you need that fixed? So overtime, yes?

/cue wankers who will say that something something internet enabled bla bla bla
//if your job is connected to the internet, that's your fault, you idiot
///the sheer volume of stuff that's "internet enabled" for no reason boggles me. IoT is a curse.
//gonna be a while before sensors replace "cranky old fark ear"
/if they ask you to work on your time, GET PAID.

Intuition is a powerful thing.


My experience has shown that Democracy and the middle class has been fading over the last 40 years.

My intuition tells me this trend will continue
 
2022-08-12 10:21:29 AM  

jamspoon: I've recently started dreaming about work again. The other night I was working on some live system issue when a colleague wanted help with a program written in Algol 65. I remember thinking that I'd used Algol 68 at Uni and would have to research Algol 65

/I retired 8.5 years ago


The Machine: u can check out any time u like but u can never leave
 
2022-08-12 10:22:25 AM  

mcmnky: Am I they only one who watched Severance and was reminded of Nowhere Man?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nowhere_Man_(American_TV_series)


Great Beatles tune
 
kab
2022-08-12 10:58:40 AM  
It's an amazing show, and deserves all the accolades it's getting.  Hopefully it doesn't pull a LOST and start running out of steam in later seasons (actually, this should be a 3 season show max IMO)
 
2022-08-12 11:30:59 AM  

mcmnky: Am I they only one who watched Severance and was reminded of Nowhere Man?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nowhere_Man_(American_TV_series)


If I ever had knowledge of UPN existing, it has been scrubbed from my memories.
 
2022-08-12 11:37:28 AM  
 I heard this guy talking about this show, and it sounds stupid.  I mean the premise is great--he's trying to make some point about our work/life balance, and what is more important to us, and how we spend our lives, blah blah.  LIke it's not the most obvious thing about us all now--we can't separate our lives from our work.  Or life is all work, with time off so you can sleep.

I don't give a shiat.  This is a choice we all made, and all the choices are bad.  So farking drop out already.  I am already tired of hearing about all these shows with this self-induced dystopia that somehow, none of can avoid, and we're all helpless victims of our own desires.  Well that's mighty convenient.  Why don't you watch this show about how we're all victims of economics, in between your shifts of being really farking important at your job?  Then go to work and talk about it, because this is a suitable substitution for actually having a life.  Hell, at least you're woke.  Did you see the Handmaid's Tale?  Wasn't that just--woo.
 
2022-08-12 11:48:12 AM  
I've had labor jobs where there's nothing to think about when you punch out and I've had academic jobs where you can never clock out because you're constantly thinking you should be working on publishing the next thing.

I like it somewhere in the middle. Part of my job is performing discrete actions that I knock out and never have to think about again and the rest is complex projects I think about in my off time and get to experience the adrenaline rush when an idea comes when getting out of the shower.
 
2022-08-13 11:03:21 AM  

cryinoutloud: I heard this guy talking about this show, and it sounds stupid.  I mean the premise is great--he's trying to make some point about our work/life balance, and what is more important to us, and how we spend our lives, blah blah.  LIke it's not the most obvious thing about us all now--we can't separate our lives from our work.  Or life is all work, with time off so you can sleep.

I don't give a shiat.  This is a choice we all made, and all the choices are bad.  So farking drop out already.  I am already tired of hearing about all these shows with this self-induced dystopia that somehow, none of can avoid, and we're all helpless victims of our own desires.  Well that's mighty convenient.  Why don't you watch this show about how we're all victims of economics, in between your shifts of being really farking important at your job?  Then go to work and talk about it, because this is a suitable substitution for actually having a life.  Hell, at least you're woke.  Did you see the Handmaid's Tale?  Wasn't that just--woo.


Have you ever tried arranging your thoughts in some sort of order so that you can communicate with other people?
 
2022-08-13 11:22:28 AM  

GrendelMk1: I run heavy equipment. I'm decent with a skid steer or telehandler, good enough with a wheel loader for people to notice, but my JAM is excavators.

I run big stuff. Excavators with more than 1 swing motor, and more than 1 step just to get to the top of the tracks. What's even more fun is long-sticks. The machines that can literally reach out 25-30 meters and fark up your entire week if you do things wrong. I'm detail oriented, so I'm basically $diety at running things like a Cat 340 long stick around a mess of pilings and buried electrical.

Guess what? My job doesn't follow me home. I literally don't care when the day ends. I get my shiat sorted at the start of the day with the GDA and other paperwork. I'll do an hour of paper, or TWO hours of paper, so the rest of my day is set up right and I don't have "collision issues" with services.

When I was in maintenance, it was the same. I'd do OT to fix egregious issues that the next shift would probably choke on, but I generally made sure I had my work DONE at end of shift. I knew my machines. You ever felt your ears pull back unexpectedly because something in the plant started humming differently?

That pump is going to fark off shortly. Pull it now. No I don't have "proof", farkhead. Pull it anyway. My ears are unhappy. Yes really. Go in the office and see if the plant manager looks uneasy. He's ex-maintenance and has mechanic ear. Don't ask, just look. He looks like he wants to kill something? PULL THE PUMP.

Welp, it's 4 PM. I'm going home. Oh, you need that fixed? So overtime, yes?

/cue wankers who will say that something something internet enabled bla bla bla
//if your job is connected to the internet, that's your fault, you idiot
///the sheer volume of stuff that's "internet enabled" for no reason boggles me. IoT is a curse.
//gonna be a while before sensors replace "cranky old fark ear"
/if they ask you to work on your time, GET PAID.


Bookkeeping clerk here. Can confirm.
 
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