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(Salon)   Wine coolers are ready for a comeback   (salon.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Alcoholic beverage, winecoolers, Drink, Coffee, canned wines, Producers of wine coolers, mix of white wine, Molly Fedick  
•       •       •

550 clicks; posted to Food » on 12 Aug 2022 at 8:42 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



78 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-12 1:12:01 AM  
aw Subs, Subby-me-lad/lassie, you could have done so much better, even with low-hanging fruit

Bruce Willis Seagrams Commercial (Singing on Porch)
Youtube F1daIIDQsXI


/my my my my
 
2022-08-12 4:59:51 AM  
I thought that's what Zinfandel was
 
2022-08-12 7:40:10 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 8:20:29 AM  
80s Commercial | Sun Country | wine cooler | 1984
Youtube C2YFjLaUiYU
 
2022-08-12 9:00:41 AM  
Things really have gotten that bad, haven't they?
 
2022-08-12 9:08:39 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Things really have gotten that bad, haven't they?


I haven't been sober since November 2016.
 
2022-08-12 9:12:17 AM  

tintar: aw Subs, Subby-me-lad/lassie, you could have done so much better, even with low-hanging fruit

[YouTube video: Bruce Willis Seagrams Commercial (Singing on Porch)]

/my my my my


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 9:16:26 AM  

corq: I thought that's what Zinfandel was


"White" Zinfandel only.  Red Zinfandel is real wine.  Try it with meaty pasta dishes and pizza, stews, BBQ and such.
 
2022-08-12 9:26:04 AM  
Still beats Zima and whatever the fark hard seltzer is.
 
2022-08-12 9:55:05 AM  

bighairyguy: corq: I thought that's what Zinfandel was

"White" Zinfandel only.  Red Zinfandel is real wine.  Try it with meaty pasta dishes and pizza, stews, BBQ and such.


Agreed. Love a nice bottle of Zinfandel.

/'white' Zin is spiked punch in a bag.
 
2022-08-12 9:56:34 AM  

tintar: aw Subs, Subby-me-lad/lassie, you could have done so much better, even with low-hanging fruit

[YouTube video: Bruce Willis Seagrams Commercial (Singing on Porch)]

/my my my my


A long, long, looonnnng time ago, a sweet young man drank a few of those and ended up beneath young Madison's bedroom window in the dead of night, serenading her with that jingle. I still lived with my parents at the time, and they told me they'd heard him stumbling across the yard, then the singing, then me frantically trying to hush him. Fortunately, they loved him (we'd been dating for a while) and thought it was hilarious.
 
2022-08-12 9:59:12 AM  
The original wine coolers weren't too bad. No different than ordering a spritzer. The change came when they changed from wine based to malt based because of the tax increase on wine, which had the added benefit of convenience stores that only had a beer license could now sell them. They went from "OK" to awful.

Not a fan of wine coolers, canned cocktails, or hard seltzers. Not enough of a kick to make me think I am drinking something and not refreshing. On the other hand, I do like my spritzers, especially an Aperol spritzer, French 75, or a Hugo.
 
2022-08-12 10:01:10 AM  
You can make your own wine coolers with wine, Sprite, and ice.
 
2022-08-12 10:09:15 AM  
A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.
 
2022-08-12 10:12:52 AM  

Private_Citizen: bighairyguy: corq: I thought that's what Zinfandel was

"White" Zinfandel only.  Red Zinfandel is real wine.  Try it with meaty pasta dishes and pizza, stews, BBQ and such.

Agreed. Love a nice bottle of Zinfandel.

/'white' Zin is spiked punch in a bag.


Hard to find a red zinfandel. I really loved them back in the '80s.
 
2022-08-12 10:16:50 AM  

natazha: Private_Citizen: bighairyguy: corq: I thought that's what Zinfandel was

"White" Zinfandel only.  Red Zinfandel is real wine.  Try it with meaty pasta dishes and pizza, stews, BBQ and such.

Agreed. Love a nice bottle of Zinfandel.

/'white' Zin is spiked punch in a bag.

Hard to find a red zinfandel. I really loved them back in the '80s.


Where are you looking? My local grocery as well as Total Wine have decent selections. Bota Box even has a decent Old Vine Zinfandel in a 3L box.
 
2022-08-12 10:29:35 AM  

natazha: Private_Citizen: bighairyguy: corq: I thought that's what Zinfandel was

"White" Zinfandel only.  Red Zinfandel is real wine.  Try it with meaty pasta dishes and pizza, stews, BBQ and such.

Agreed. Love a nice bottle of Zinfandel.

/'white' Zin is spiked punch in a bag.

Hard to find a red zinfandel. I really loved them back in the '80s.


BevMo. The answer is always BevMo.
/trendy as shiat, but pretty damn good
//doesn't excuse Godfather 3, however

cdn.ct-static.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 10:51:53 AM  
So TFA was pretty much entirely one person who wants to sell wine coolers desperately hoping that people will want to buy them. I didn't see any non-wish-based justification for why they would come back.
 
2022-08-12 10:58:39 AM  
Two rounds of wine cooler popularity and sangria still hasn't gotten the love it deserves. Americans really seem to have some bizarre love for the mediocre.
 
2022-08-12 11:03:22 AM  
This fits with long term alcohol consumption trends. Younger people are drinking less, want lower alcohol options, tend towards fruity but not too sweet, and drink less beer and hard.

Marketing aside. A nice wine spritzer on a hot day is quite refreshing. I like to use either a cheap Chilean rose or Italian Pinot Grigio. Soda. Maybe schnapps, an herb, or lemon twist to spice it up. Watermelon icecubes are nice too.

Don't know if I'd buy it premade though, that reminds me of highschool. My friend's sister made a punch
1 Mickey rye
1 2L bottle of peach wine cooler
1 2L sprite (if kids are drinking it)
We drank it at my friend's wake. ...fark cancer
 
2022-08-12 11:20:54 AM  
Drank a lot of this stuff back in college...
California Cooler TV Commercial 1985 One More Reason To Hate California
Youtube sgcX8wlsdfA
 
2022-08-12 11:34:55 AM  
I'm game. They're great on a hot day, and they should be everyone's first drink they steal from mom's fridge.
 
2022-08-12 11:46:22 AM  
When they started trotting out the "hard seltzers" I was reminding everyone about Zima and Bartles and James.
 
2022-08-12 12:19:03 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Things really have gotten that bad, haven't they?


This.

Private_Citizen: [Fark user image 400x400]


Oh, that's what Bartles and Jaymes is? I know it from this song only.
You or Your Memory
Youtube hZXvL3PZ1Pg



brainlordmesomorph: When they started trotting out the "hard seltzers" I was reminding everyone about Zima and Bartles and James.


I was surprised at how bad hard seltzer is, even the "good" ones. There is also hard kombucha for some reason, and there was smirnoff ice and mike's hard lemonade between Zima and White Claw. (Zima still existed in Japan for a long time, not sure if it is still there.)
 
2022-08-12 12:48:40 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Still beats Zima and whatever the fark hard seltzer is.


I liked Zima.
 
2022-08-12 12:59:55 PM  

Jake Havechek: You can make your own wine coolers with wine, Sprite, and ice.


Sangria is more worth the effort.
 
2022-08-12 1:07:12 PM  

tintar: aw Subs, Subby-me-lad/lassie, you could have done so much better, even with low-hanging fruit

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/F1daIIDQsXI]

/my my my my


I got the jingle in my head as soon as I saw the headline.  Well done, sir.
 
2022-08-12 1:28:30 PM  
I would love to be able to have this again and see it it's as delicious to me now as when I had some sips when I was about 10 or so.
cdn.hibid.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 1:30:17 PM  

Stormin Gorman: I would love to be able to have this again and see it it's as delicious to me now as when I had some sips when I was about 10 or so.
[cdn.hibid.com image 172x200]


Man.... we drank that all the time in HS. Also Purple Passion. Well, really anything we could get our hands on.
 
2022-08-12 1:35:37 PM  
How dare they mention Bartles & Jaymes and Zima in the same article.
 
2022-08-12 1:38:31 PM  

catmandu: The original wine coolers weren't too bad. No different than ordering a spritzer. The change came when they changed from wine based to malt based because of the tax increase on wine, which had the added benefit of convenience stores that only had a beer license could now sell them. They went from "OK" to awful.

Not a fan of wine coolers, canned cocktails, or hard seltzers. Not enough of a kick to make me think I am drinking something and not refreshing. On the other hand, I do like my spritzers, especially an Aperol spritzer, French 75, or a Hugo.


A friend gave us a bottle of Aperol. So we read about Aperol spritzers. I tried one. It was like drinking fizzy insecticide.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong,.
 
2022-08-12 2:09:09 PM  
yeaahh   no.


I have found the worst way to drink: Wine Cooler review | How to Drink
Youtube tOkdCpsZoR8
 
2022-08-12 2:11:36 PM  
Booze made from fruit (i.e. wine coolers) is taxed more than booze made from grain (i.e. hard seltzer) which is how seltzer took over that share of the market.
 
2022-08-12 2:19:16 PM  

Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.


I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.
 
2022-08-12 2:34:07 PM  

tintar: aw Subs, Subby-me-lad/lassie, you could have done so much better, even with low-hanging fruit

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/F1daIIDQsXI]

/my my my my


I was confident I'd see a Willis Seagrams reference early, but top of the list?  Well done.
 
2022-08-12 2:39:25 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.


Wait, you have days of sobriety?
 
2022-08-12 2:57:30 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.


don't they need to start before they end my dude?
 
2022-08-12 3:01:01 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.


also, i have wonderful bad news:


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 3:29:54 PM  
you can't just look for "Dark 'n' Stormy" in the store inventory, gosling brothers trademarked that shiat back in 1991.....
 
2022-08-12 3:36:57 PM  

Bukharin: Booze made from fruit (i.e. wine coolers) is taxed more than booze made from grain (i.e. hard seltzer) which is how seltzer took over that share of the market.


That's also why the "wine" coolers are often malt-based with juice added.
 
2022-08-12 3:39:56 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.


Here you go
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 3:42:03 PM  

Bukharin: Booze made from fruit (i.e. wine coolers) is taxed more than booze made from grain (i.e. hard seltzer) which is how seltzer took over that share of the market.


Makes me think of the history of punch. When all is said and done it's about wine strength. It became popular in Britain partly because of increased taxes on imported French wine and brandy.
 
2022-08-12 3:44:46 PM  

anuran: Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.

Here you go
[Fark user image 490x490]


welp, looks like we've enhanced the life of axe for a bit!

difficulty: utah distributors are in play.....
 
2022-08-12 4:06:43 PM  

yakmans_dad: catmandu: The original wine coolers weren't too bad. No different than ordering a spritzer. The change came when they changed from wine based to malt based because of the tax increase on wine, which had the added benefit of convenience stores that only had a beer license could now sell them. They went from "OK" to awful.

Not a fan of wine coolers, canned cocktails, or hard seltzers. Not enough of a kick to make me think I am drinking something and not refreshing. On the other hand, I do like my spritzers, especially an Aperol spritzer, French 75, or a Hugo.

A friend gave us a bottle of Aperol. So we read about Aperol spritzers. I tried one. It was like drinking fizzy insecticide.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong,.


Kind of like every Negroni I've ever had. Nasty. And I say this as someone who drinks bitters and soda
 
2022-08-12 5:08:16 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.


You're welcome

https://bremerswineandliquor.com/shop/goslings-dark-n-stormy-cans-4-pack/#:~:text=Gosling's%20Black%20Seal%20Rum%20and,there's%20zero%20compromise%20in%20taste.
 
2022-08-12 5:10:03 PM  
Ahhhahahaha the number of responses to the canned dark and stormy!!

Trust fark to destroy notions of sobriety
 
2022-08-12 5:25:36 PM  

talkyournonsense: Ahhhahahaha the number of responses to the canned dark and stormy!!

Trust fark to destroy notions of sobriety


here, have a sip of the loving cup: gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble.......

😜
 
2022-08-12 5:28:48 PM  

talkyournonsense: Ahhhahahaha the number of responses to the canned dark and stormy!!

Trust fark to destroy notions of sobriety


Food Tab Best Tab: home base for heathens, hellions, and hedonists, too!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 5:48:33 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Axeofjudgement: Gonz: A 2.5% ABV wine cooler? Yeah, that'll sell...

This is actually a very nice time for canned cocktails.

I have discovered canned Moscow mules. If I find a canned dark n stormy my days of sobriety are at an end.

Wait, you have days of sobriety?


Days yes. Nights no.
 
2022-08-12 5:49:48 PM  
And dammit... haven't seen those at the liquor store. I swear I'm getting out of Utah soon. These people just straight suck.
 
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