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(WRAL)   Suddenly, beach umbrella   (wral.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Consumer Product Safety Commission, Local officials, Garden City, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Umbrella, beach umbrella, chest trauma, Garden furniture  
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3174 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2022 at 11:45 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-11 11:47:20 PM  
I've seen flying beach umbrellas a few times, it's crazy how little wind it takes to lift them up and turn them into a jart.
 
2022-08-11 11:48:23 PM  
Same thing happened to a lady in Va. Beach a few years ago .
 
2022-08-11 11:51:31 PM  
yeah i had one day at the beach this year.  like a half dozen umbrellas went flying.  beach wasn't crowded s no one was threatened.  one made it into the water.  so exciting

i'll stick to only bringing a towel.  always need to know where your towel is
 
2022-08-11 11:51:49 PM  
New Final Destination movie being filmed?
 
2022-08-11 11:53:03 PM  
I knew I shouldn't have ordered the umbrella with the optional onyx handle with rattle snake poison paint.
 
2022-08-11 11:53:51 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: yeah i had one day at the beach this year.  like a half dozen umbrellas went flying.  beach wasn't crowded s no one was threatened.  one made it into the water.  so exciting

i'll stick to only bringing a towel.  always need to know where your towel is


username checks out
 
2022-08-11 11:59:29 PM  
Prim English lady with scarf seen slinking away from area while quietly singing a catchy tune...
 
2022-08-12 12:00:44 AM  
Pffft! Back in my day, only flying bouncy castles killed people.
 
2022-08-12 12:01:02 AM  
I would love to die from a random beach umbrella if - and only if - I was holding a drink with a little umbrella in it at the time. Assuming it didn't decaptitate me or poke my brain, I'd make a point of rolling my eyes and staring accusingly at my drink so that the coroner would find me like that. A death worthy of Socrates, that would be.
 
2022-08-12 12:13:47 AM  
They banned lawn darts in the 80's but it's still ok to have a loose javelin on the beach!
 
2022-08-12 12:14:00 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: I would love to die from a random beach umbrella if - and only if - I was holding a drink with a little umbrella in it at the time. Assuming it didn't decaptitate me or poke my brain, I'd make a point of rolling my eyes and staring accusingly at my drink so that the coroner would find me like that. A death worthy of Socrates, that would be.


I don't want a fark worthy death.
 
2022-08-12 12:15:14 AM  
Umbrella Beach Run
Youtube AMUrZWLxwys
 
2022-08-12 12:18:30 AM  
Deadly

cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.netView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 12:41:50 AM  
Tammy

well, there's your problem

/every tammy is an accident waiting to happen
 
2022-08-12 12:44:49 AM  

Russ1642: They banned lawn darts in the 80's but it's still ok to have a loose javelin on the beach!


Umbrella bans on beaches are super common and usually appear in news stories featuring unhappy beachgoers displaying their fines and lack of understanding towards the reason for the ordinance.

Allowances should be made for those pop up tent thingies that are a lot safer and also super fun to watch as folks try to get them back into the bag.
 
2022-08-12 1:11:20 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: Bennie Crabtree: I would love to die from a random beach umbrella if - and only if - I was holding a drink with a little umbrella in it at the time. Assuming it didn't decaptitate me or poke my brain, I'd make a point of rolling my eyes and staring accusingly at my drink so that the coroner would find me like that. A death worthy of Socrates, that would be.

I don't want a fark worthy death.


I seriously should have died so many times. Like traffic accidents or rooftop exploits. Or food poisoning. Or bears or quicksand. So Whatevs.
 
2022-08-12 2:19:31 AM  
Let's see, set up a sail with no real anchor at the border of land and sea/lake which has been well known to have fierce weather (anywhere in the world) for thousands of years. By well meaning decent people (no snark) I'm sure. Add in massively increased energy pumped into the atmosphere due to climate change. Read/see about the violence of storms increasing.
"But I want to go to the beach and act like I did in the 70's and 80's".
Yeah, acting like we did way back when is why are where we are.
Listen up folks, we have proven time and again that we don't (presently) deserve nice things. And I ain't no snowflake hippie or whatever, I just see what I see. Stop farkin' thinking the world is the world you think it is from wherever you learnt it from. It's changed
Horrible accident though. Feel bad for those folks.
One of my jobs is to set up "car winter tents" here in Montreal, and have set up many a festival tent over the years as well. Shiat has totally changed. We've doubled our pickets over the last five years and changed tie-down ropes as well. .
 
2022-08-12 2:28:44 AM  
Landscape artist Christo has published a disclaimer saying he had nothing to do with these deaths, His excuse checks out, as he died in June this year.
 
2022-08-12 4:08:09 AM  
Falling and blocking skills. Study the fundamentals.

An X-block and back roll could have avoided this.

Also kicking sand in the face of beach umbrella person.

Seriously have they never been to a beach? Umbrellas are missiles. Bring a couple of poles, some cord and stakes and a tarp. NO ONE DIES.
 
2022-08-12 5:13:21 AM  

brantgoose: Landscape artist Christo has published a disclaimer saying he had nothing to do with these deaths, His excuse checks out, as he died in June this year.


His umbrellas did kill someone due to wind, if I remember right.
 
2022-08-12 7:06:16 AM  

American Decency Association: Russ1642: They banned lawn darts in the 80's but it's still ok to have a loose javelin on the beach!

Umbrella bans on beaches are super common and usually appear in news stories featuring unhappy beachgoers displaying their fines and lack of understanding towards the reason for the ordinance.

Allowances should be made for those pop up tent thingies that are a lot safer and also super fun to watch as folks try to get them back into the bag.


Ordinances banning umbrellas are sometimes put in place because locals don't want other people hanging out on "their" beach. At least not long enough to need an umbrella,
 
2022-08-12 7:21:56 AM  
Has no one heard of a sand anchor? You screw them down into the sand, sometimes feet down if it's windy. Also beach etiquette says that if there's anything above a gentle breeze, you lower your umbrella any time you're away from it.
 
2022-08-12 7:32:44 AM  
I tell you, these things are out to get us.
npr.brightspotcdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 7:39:35 AM  
We're on vacation here. This happened about a 1/4 mile down the beach from us. Winds were so bad that day we gave up the beach for the day. Crazy
 
2022-08-12 7:44:37 AM  

American Decency Association: Russ1642: They banned lawn darts in the 80's but it's still ok to have a loose javelin on the beach!

Umbrella bans on beaches are super common and usually appear in news stories featuring unhappy beachgoers displaying their fines and lack of understanding towards the reason for the ordinance.

Allowances should be made for those pop up tent thingies that are a lot safer and also super fun to watch as folks try to get them back into the bag.


Horry County in SC where this happened has a ban on pop-up canopies (supposedly to make things safer and not block lifeguards' view..?). Makes for a lot more beach javelins - got to keep your head on a swivel there, not everyone is as responsible with their umbrellas as they should be.
 
2022-08-12 7:53:59 AM  

God--: We're on vacation here. This happened about a 1/4 mile down the beach from us. Winds were so bad that day we gave up the beach for the day. Crazy


The last time I was at Myrtle Beach, I had a umbrella destroyed by the wind.

/ Also saw a kite surfer juuusstt miss being on FARK
 
2022-08-12 9:00:02 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-12 10:32:09 AM  
This should be an easy problem to solve without a complete ban.  You know those orange plastic things they put on exposed rebar at construction sites so some idiot won't fall and impale themselves on them?  Same thing for umbrellas.  Cheap and easy.
 
2022-08-12 2:49:49 PM  

American Decency Association: Russ1642: They banned lawn darts in the 80's but it's still ok to have a loose javelin on the beach!

Umbrella bans on beaches are super common and usually appear in news stories featuring unhappy beachgoers displaying their fines and lack of understanding towards the reason for the ordinance.

Allowances should be made for those pop up tent thingies that are a lot safer and also super fun to watch as folks try to get them back into the bag.


more entertaining than trying to watch someone fold a fitted sheet

/no i don't care about the videos that purportedly show how to fold a fitted sheet.
//fark it. just roll it up on your arm and be finished with all thought of folding
 
2022-08-12 8:00:01 PM  
gameshowhost:
/no i don't care about the videos that purportedly show how to fold a fitted sheet.
//fark it. just roll it up on your arm and be finished with all thought of folding


Damn right.  Crumple that sucker up.  The nice smooth sheets all go on top of it anyway.
 
2022-08-12 9:40:44 PM  

God--: We're on vacation here. This happened about a 1/4 mile down the beach from us. Winds were so bad that day we gave up the beach for the day. Crazy


at least you weren't in crimea
 
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