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(Metro)   Today's WTF headline: Man woke up to go for a pee to find he was in a coffin 'and had been sacrificed'   (metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, Bolivia, Sacrifice, English-language films, Human sacrifice, Mother Earth, Burial, Coca, local media  
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3855 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2022 at 4:31 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



52 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-08-11 3:43:47 PM  
"I hate when that happens!"
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2022-08-11 4:06:50 PM  
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2022-08-11 4:09:37 PM  
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2022-08-11 4:10:52 PM  
sure jan
 
2022-08-11 4:33:50 PM  
Lots of respectable people get put in coffins and sacrificed!
 
2022-08-11 4:34:49 PM  
Must have been some good stuff.
 
2022-08-11 4:34:58 PM  
He must have been Miserable
 
2022-08-11 4:35:26 PM  
Bolivian Burning Burying Man sure sounds... different
 
2022-08-11 4:36:25 PM  
I liked the Tim Matheson version better.
 
2022-08-11 4:37:27 PM  
Victor Hugo?
 
2022-08-11 4:42:41 PM  
Yeah that's what I tell my friends and the local media too when I stumble home still half drunk after waking up in a ditch.  Sounds so much more bad ass.
 
2022-08-11 4:46:24 PM  

FarkingSmurf: Yeah that's what I tell my friends and the local media too when I stumble home still half drunk after waking up in a ditch.  Sounds so much more bad ass.


Pssh - there aren't any ganger fights where you smack a bunch of them down before being overwhelmed, minus points
 
2022-08-11 4:47:07 PM  
Way back in the day I worked with a guy who basically came in looking like that one day. He smelled bad even before that.
 
2022-08-11 4:48:41 PM  
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"They wanted to use me as a sullu.'"
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2022-08-11 4:54:11 PM  
Coincidence or fate?, i just read his book: La Fin de Satan (The end of Satan)
 
2022-08-11 4:58:37 PM  
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2022-08-11 5:00:30 PM  
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2022-08-11 5:03:32 PM  

Stud Gerbil: Victor Hugo?


Coincidentally, a minor plot element in *Les Miserables* is Valjean hiding in a coffin and being buried alive in order to escape from the convent he's been hiding in.
 
2022-08-11 5:04:24 PM  

Stud Gerbil: Victor Hugo?


I won't say I approve - but having slogged through both Les Miresables and the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I understand where they're coming from...
 
2022-08-11 5:06:09 PM  
He probably had a brain cloud anyway.
 
2022-08-11 5:08:06 PM  
Close enough reason to post this, I guess.
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2022-08-11 5:08:13 PM  
You know you may be  pretty low on the social totem pole, when....
 
2022-08-11 5:08:52 PM  
Yeah, not buying this. If you were really buried alive, you'd asphyxiate in minutes.
 
2022-08-11 5:13:15 PM  
Waking up in a body-bag is the high-water mark of an epic bender with your bro squad.
The toe-tag is a cherished keepsake.
 
2022-08-11 5:17:50 PM  
I'm 54. I wish I could still sleep so deeply that I wouldn't wake up to pee 2-3 times a night.

/cat likes that I wake up so he can sing me the song of his people in the middle of the night
 
2022-08-11 5:25:34 PM  
 
2022-08-11 5:28:28 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: Yeah, not buying this. If you were really buried alive, you'd asphyxiate in minutes.


I felt compelled to check on that - the consensus on a quick internet search seems to be coffins on the average have about 5 hours of air if breathing normally, maybe stretch it out to 7 or 8 if you can manage to really regulate your breathing hard.

/sleeping would be the equivalent of some breathing regulation due to inactivity
//not saying it's necessarily true - doubt much of it is
///but you'd have quite a bit longer than a few minutes
////which frankly only makes it sound worse for anything that couldn't get out
 
2022-08-11 5:32:42 PM  
Desiccated Llamas is the name of my Super Furry Animals cover band.
 
2022-08-11 5:34:01 PM  
and that, kids, is why* you don't drink in public until you pass out.

*one of the many reasons
 
2022-08-11 5:53:19 PM  
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2022-08-11 5:56:55 PM  
When I pushed the coffin, I was able to break a glass that it had and that way I was able to get out.

Sounds to me like he passed out under someone's coffee table and had a freak out from whatever drugs he'd been taking.
 
2022-08-11 6:14:02 PM  
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2022-08-11 6:16:44 PM  
He must have been a wee surprised.
 
2022-08-11 6:18:12 PM  
I am wondeing if just maybe the idea of human sacrifice to Mother Nature might be a bit of anti-environment, anti-"woke", and couterfactual looney right propaganda. Fake news, could be?
 
2022-08-11 6:18:38 PM  

CarnySaur: He must have been a wee surprised.


Evillllllllllllll!
 
2022-08-11 6:37:14 PM  

brantgoose: I am wondeing if just maybe the idea of human sacrifice to Mother Nature might be a bit of anti-environment, anti-"woke", and couterfactual looney right propaganda. Fake news, could be?


"These rituals have been celebrated in Bolivia for centuries in indigenous communities."

So no.
 
2022-08-11 6:39:41 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: Yeah, not buying this. If you were really buried alive, you'd asphyxiate in minutes.


Looks like ip to 5 and a half hours but some of that your in a coma.

Either way it's a lesson in not getting blackout drunk.  Your either in a coffin or lying about being in a coffin.  Moderation, always moderation so you can remeber the fun.  Whays the point of fun if you have no idea you had any fun
 
2022-08-11 6:41:29 PM  

big pig peaches: When I pushed the coffin, I was able to break a glass that it had and that way I was able to get out.

Sounds to me like he passed out under someone's coffee table and had a freak out from whatever drugs he'd been taking.


Haaaa, I think it was a glass topped coffin to show off the sacrifice.  Probably not fully buried.
 
2022-08-11 6:43:46 PM  

brantgoose: I am wondeing if just maybe the idea of human sacrifice to Mother Nature might be a bit of anti-environment, anti-"woke", and couterfactual looney right propaganda. Fake news, could be?


Hmmmm, it's been going on for thousands of years.

That's so sad, for thousands of years and we have a large amount of people who believe in the all mighty... if he talks through a prophet or priest that's normal but if he talks to you your crazy...
 
2022-08-11 7:30:46 PM  
I thought a rat tail looked dumb. Now that I've seen rat bangs it ain't so bad.
 
2022-08-11 7:42:28 PM  
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Can relate.
 
2022-08-11 7:44:16 PM  

big pig peaches: When I pushed the coffin, I was able to break a glass that it had and that way I was able to get out.

Sounds to me like he passed out under someone's coffee table and had a freak out from whatever drugs he'd been taking.


Yep, and the planter that was sitting on the table fell on his face.
 
2022-08-11 8:20:05 PM  
And he ruined the sacrifice. The gods are ging to be pissed now. Thanks for ruining it for everyone.
 
2022-08-11 8:25:37 PM  
Those guys know how to party
 
2022-08-11 9:03:13 PM  

damageddude: I'm 54. I wish I could still sleep so deeply that I wouldn't wake up to pee 2-3 times a night.


You'd prefer to wet the bed 2-3 times a night?
 
2022-08-11 9:30:05 PM  
Radio Werewolf Buried Alive
Youtube nRReU8farHc
 
2022-08-11 9:52:25 PM  
Strange. Usually it's only Finnish people who regularly get drunk enough to wake up in a coffin or body bag.
 
2022-08-11 10:21:06 PM  

Gordon Bennett: Strange. Usually it's only Finnish people who regularly get drunk enough to wake up in a coffin or body bag.


Or people who bought really good earplugs.

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2022-08-11 11:03:34 PM  

EdgeRunner: Gordon Bennett: Strange. Usually it's only Finnish people who regularly get drunk enough to wake up in a coffin or body bag.

Or people who bought really good earplugs.

[image.adsoftheworld.com image 850x554]


One thing they rarely ever go on about with people getting tagged and slabbed accidentally.  Those toe tags are wired on TIGHT - really damn tight.  As in, "You're going to be in a lot of farking pain when you wake up because the toe has had any semblance of circulation cut off ever since they put it on."
 
2022-08-11 11:14:00 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: EdgeRunner: Gordon Bennett: Strange. Usually it's only Finnish people who regularly get drunk enough to wake up in a coffin or body bag.

Or people who bought really good earplugs.

[image.adsoftheworld.com image 850x554]

One thing they rarely ever go on about with people getting tagged and slabbed accidentally.  Those toe tags are wired on TIGHT - really damn tight.  As in, "You're going to be in a lot of farking pain when you wake up because the toe has had any semblance of circulation cut off ever since they put it on."


You wouldn't feel much of anything, since most morgues would immediately wheel you into a freezer. No matter how good the earplugs and the booze were, you definitely wouldn't wake up feeling rested and refreshed. You'd probably wish you were dead.
 
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