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(Lifehacker)   Lifehacker finally delivers some non-Claire worthwhile content   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Mask, Common Raven, Corvidae, Crow, ton of crows, Passerine, murder of crows, personal crow army  
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4322 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2022 at 12:50 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



58 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-08-11 11:42:13 AM  
I thought he was shot filming a movie.  Why would I befriend a dead body?
 
2022-08-11 12:52:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 12:52:55 PM  
This is top quality lifehacker content
 
2022-08-11 12:53:43 PM  
decider.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 12:56:57 PM  
So for humans, the tried and true method for training is via social media.
 
2022-08-11 12:59:38 PM  
This is like instructions on how to be a third tier DC supervillain: The Crowmaster!

I mean seriously, what the fark is this?
 
2022-08-11 1:00:50 PM  
Genuinely useful information. Thank you.
 
2022-08-11 1:01:06 PM  
My father befriended crows when I was a teenager.  A local feed store had a crow pet, so he thought he'd give it a try.  Our house backed up to a regional park, so we had plenty of them flying around, usually in pairs.  Over the course of a few months, every time he went out to do yardwork or saw a crow, he'd let out three deep whistle blasts (he can whistle crazy loud), and toss a handful of peanuts off the back deck.  That's it.  After a week, there was almost always a pair of crows parked in the nearby trees.  After a month, he could whistle and summon a half-dozen with more to follow.  It got to the point where he could go anywhere in our neighborhood and summon crows within minutes.  I guess what I'm saying is, most everyone in the neighborhood thought my father was a weirdo.
 
2022-08-11 1:03:32 PM  
Crow Solves An 8 Step Puzzle To Get Food. Incredible!
Youtube Gui3IswQ0DI
 
2022-08-11 1:06:06 PM  

Ragin' Asian: [Fark user image image 425x222]


Isn't that a child?
 
2022-08-11 1:09:03 PM  
I haven't tried to turn the crows that hang out in my front yard against my enemies, but I'd rather have fewer crows in my yard than more. 
I used to have nice green grass in my front yard, but now I have mostly weeds since the crows crap a lot of foreign (to my yard) seeds and those seeds turn into weeds and those weeds killed my grass.
 
2022-08-11 1:09:18 PM  
Unkindness
Youtube qJG3h8tOyJs
 
2022-08-11 1:09:25 PM  
Crows:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Blackbird:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Caw caw caw!!!
 
2022-08-11 1:10:03 PM  

HoratioGates: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/Gui3IswQ0DI]


I saw that special on PBS or Discovery or whatever a few years ago.
Crows are crazy smart. They can recognize faces and teach those faces to their kids/murder mates.
 
2022-08-11 1:12:58 PM  
Crow Uses Plastic Lid to Sled Down Roof Over and Over Again
Youtube L9mrTdYhOHg

Wheee!!!
 
2022-08-11 1:16:18 PM  
On a totally unrelated note, anyone know where to get super-realistic face masks based on social media selfies made?
 
2022-08-11 1:16:28 PM  

foo monkey: My father befriended crows when I was a teenager.  A local feed store had a crow pet, so he thought he'd give it a try.  Our house backed up to a regional park, so we had plenty of them flying around, usually in pairs.  Over the course of a few months, every time he went out to do yardwork or saw a crow, he'd let out three deep whistle blasts (he can whistle crazy loud), and toss a handful of peanuts off the back deck.  That's it.  After a week, there was almost always a pair of crows parked in the nearby trees.  After a month, he could whistle and summon a half-dozen with more to follow.  It got to the point where he could go anywhere in our neighborhood and summon crows within minutes.  I guess what I'm saying is, most everyone in the neighborhood thought my father was a weirdo.


That's brilliant!  Excellent way to respond to some thug trying to roll you on the street somewhere.
 
2022-08-11 1:18:25 PM  
It's illegal in a lot of places to keep crows as pets.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 1:18:50 PM  
A crow was chasing me the other day, for some reason---freaked me the hell out
 
2022-08-11 1:22:17 PM  

foo monkey: he'd let out three deep whistle blasts


ahhhh, thanks for the tip!

I'm feedin' 'em peanuts, they're regulars in the area, but a whistle is the perfect accompaniment.

/Need to figure out that crazy loud "two fingers in the mouth" whistle...
 
2022-08-11 1:22:28 PM  
Crows love suet and other fatty things. Having those will keep them out of your vegetable garden.
 
2022-08-11 1:28:30 PM  
I'm friends with a small murder of 5 crows. They come visit every evening. Last night I fed them pineapple, that was a big hit. One will usually sit in a nearby tree and scope out my backyard. If I come outside he calls his buddies and we hang out
 
2022-08-11 1:31:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 1:34:28 PM  

blatz514: I thought he was shot filming a movie.  Why would I befriend a dead body?


FTA: "get a perfectly realistic mask of your mortal enemy, say, Lifehacker deputy editor Joel Cunningham. Put the mask on, then bedevil your crows. Throw rocks at them. Call their mothers pigeons. Tell them you're glad Brandon Lee died..."

I almost choked on my lunch reading that gem.
 
2022-08-11 1:55:11 PM  
Crows are as smart as a seven year old human? Yeah, stopped reading there. The guy's a complete idiot who obviously hasn't been around little kids. Sure birds are smart, but there's no reason to flagrantly bullshiat about it.
 
2022-08-11 2:00:11 PM  

foo monkey: My father befriended crows when I was a teenager.  A local feed store had a crow pet, so he thought he'd give it a try.  Our house backed up to a regional park, so we had plenty of them flying around, usually in pairs.  Over the course of a few months, every time he went out to do yardwork or saw a crow, he'd let out three deep whistle blasts (he can whistle crazy loud), and toss a handful of peanuts off the back deck.  That's it.  After a week, there was almost always a pair of crows parked in the nearby trees.  After a month, he could whistle and summon a half-dozen with more to follow.  It got to the point where he could go anywhere in our neighborhood and summon crows within minutes.  I guess what I'm saying is, most everyone in the neighborhood thought my father was a weirdo.


I like the cut of his jib! You have a cool dad.

CSB: I befriended some crows too. I used to go on early morning walks in the neighborhood and found where the robins, cardinals, wrens, etc nested and foraged. They definitely had certain spots at certain times of the day. I love when I hear the robins wake on the other side of the neighborhood around 5am and then by my house around 9am. I feel "in touch".

Anyway, one afternoon I see some crows so I go back home and grab some bird seed from the feeder. I go back and caw a few times to get their attention, toss some seeds and keep walking. I did this a few times. I read the same study that crows recognize faces so I just figured they'd see me as a friend. No big deal, right?

One afternoon I wake from a nap and hear bloody murder in my backyard. Bloody fricking murder of crows that is. Hundreds of them. They found where I lived. They saw my garden. They saw my fish pond They saw my bird feeders. They saw me in the window. They decided to move in. It was loud. It was terrifying. They scared the cats, too. I gave them some old bread at first but I suddenly didn't want to be their friend anymore. I stayed inside for a few weeks and thankfully they moved on.

Every now and again on a walk a crow will caw at me. I only wave now.
 
2022-08-11 2:03:02 PM  
Okay, so all you Farkers in the US need to start training your crows to hate anyone wearing a MAGA hat.

For you Farkers in Florida, might I suggest training some crows, then using a mask of TFG? Everyone in that family except for Barron.

If you're in Texas, it's a Cruz, Abbott, or Paxton mask. In Kentucky, a Paul or McConnell mask.

/If we could train pigeons and starlings....
 
2022-08-11 2:04:46 PM  

hi13760: So for humans, the tried and true method for training is via social media.


Is that how they do it at your "job"?
 
2022-08-11 2:08:52 PM  
I've been trying to befriend crows this summer but all I managed was fat squirrels.  Built a nice feeder, stocked it with raw/unstalted peanuts (about a cup a day) and nothing.  I can hear them caw-ing but no joy.  Even tried the advice of putting cayenne pepper on the peanuts but only got squirrels with an appreciation for spicy foods for my trouble.

The hummingbird feeder, on the other hand, was a huge hit.  Got a nest of them in a nearby tree now and can just hang out and watch them from a few feet away.
 
2022-08-11 2:09:45 PM  

muphasta: I haven't tried to turn the crows that hang out in my front yard against my enemies, but I'd rather have fewer crows in my yard than more. 
I used to have nice green grass in my front yard, but now I have mostly weeds since the crows crap a lot of foreign (to my yard) seeds and those seeds turn into weeds and those weeds killed my grass.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 2:10:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

'Come at me, bro!'
 
2022-08-11 2:11:04 PM  

ProfessorTerguson: Crows:
[Fark user image image 237x212]

Blackbird:
[Fark user image image 225x225]

Caw caw caw!!!


Paul is a walrus, not a bird
 
2022-08-11 2:11:45 PM  

Russ1642: Crows are as smart as a seven year old human? Yeah, stopped reading there. The guy's a complete idiot who obviously hasn't been around little kids. Sure birds are smart, but there's no reason to flagrantly bullshiat about it.


I don't think he's saying crows are all that smart.  I think he's saying seven year old kids are really dumb.  From what I remember about being seven, I tend to agree.

BTW, are you seven years old?  You seem kind of butthurt.
 
2022-08-11 2:12:04 PM  
It's going to turn out that Lifehacker stole this from some apocalypse end of days survivalist site.  Mark my words.
 
2022-08-11 2:13:30 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 2:22:48 PM  
Article left out that the UW crow researchers used Dick Cheney masks for the villains.
 
2022-08-11 2:25:45 PM  
THE CROWENING!!!
 
2022-08-11 2:25:48 PM  

MythDragon: [external-preview.redd.it image 850x883]


Lol wut
 
2022-08-11 2:31:33 PM  

MythDragon: [external-preview.redd.it image 850x883]


I didn't know Palpatine was a bird lover.
 
2022-08-11 3:14:30 PM  

Monac: Russ1642: Crows are as smart as a seven year old human? Yeah, stopped reading there. The guy's a complete idiot who obviously hasn't been around little kids. Sure birds are smart, but there's no reason to flagrantly bullshiat about it.

I don't think he's saying crows are all that smart.  I think he's saying seven year old kids are really dumb.  From what I remember about being seven, I tend to agree.

BTW, are you seven years old?  You seem kind of butthurt.


I have a six year old. The comparison between a crow and a one year old is a gigantic stretch let alone a six year old who can, for example, speak, read, and write in multiple languages. It's not about being butthurt, it's about the abysmal shiat we call journalism these days.
 
2022-08-11 3:20:23 PM  
A few years ago, there was a small crow in the bushes across the street. A couple of other crows stayed close by and cawed frequently. A couple of days later, the bird was in our front flower bed. I felt sorry for it. "It's hungry," I said. "What if it can't fly? It needs something to eat." "Leave it alone," said my husband, "It will figure it out." I threw some bread crumbs into the flower bed. About an hour later, I looked out the door to see if it had eaten the bread, and saw this.

Fark user imageView Full Size


It stayed there for a few hours. It started creeping me out. When night came, it hopped into the orange bucket where it settled itself among some weeds. The next morning, my husband called the local Fish, Wildlife, and Parks. They said they get lots of calls that time of year about fledgling crows. She said crows learn to fly from the ground, so her advice was to let him be for a few days or so, and to call them back if we notice when he tried to spread his wings that one of them appeared to be broken. My husband moved the bucket to the corner of the front yard under the deck. Later, he was hopping around the side yard with mom and dad close by.

As far as we know, he learned how to fly. I learned not to mess with crows.
 
2022-08-11 3:22:22 PM  

foo monkey: Over the course of a few months, every time he went out to do yardwork or saw a crow, he'd let out three deep whistle blasts (he can whistle crazy loud), and toss a handful of peanuts off the back deck. That's it. After a week, there was almost always a pair of crows parked in the nearby trees. After a month, he could whistle and summon a half-dozen with more to follow. It got to the point where he could go anywhere in our neighborhood and summon crows within minutes


Welp, I have a new goal in life.

I'm in crow flyover country - the apt building is in a 1/4 mile gap between two forested areas, and they pass buy without stopping. I'm going to start carrying peanuts when I walk outside.

I've always loved crow neighbors. They're talkative and make the place seem lively. In Los Angeles they lived in the palms outside my window.

At one 3rd floor apartment in Chicago, our view out the living room window looked like this around Halloween - it was biatchin':
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 3:23:40 PM  

Russ1642: t's not about being butthurt, it's about the abysmal shiat we call journalism these days.


Because humurous blog posts are "journalism".

LOL guess who sounds whiny and butthurt.
 
2022-08-11 3:55:08 PM  

indy_kid: Okay, so all you Farkers in the US need to start training your crows to hate anyone wearing a MAGA hat.

For you Farkers in Florida, might I suggest training some crows, then using a mask of TFG? Everyone in that family except for Barron.

If you're in Texas, it's a Cruz, Abbott, or Paxton mask. In Kentucky, a Paul or McConnell mask.

/If we could train pigeons and starlings....


Starlings are closely related to Mynah birds and can learn to mimic phrases. I had one who clearly said "Baby birdy!" Once a starling knows a vocalization, they share it with the murmuration. They also like to steal things from pockets.

Therefore, a murmuration of starlings could be taught to mock someone. And pick their pockets.
 
2022-08-11 4:23:00 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-11 4:34:11 PM  
I have two wild crows that still visit me even though I haven't been allowed to feed them peanuts in over two years (combination of city bylaw and nosy neighbor).

I named one Wyatt because instead of cawing he says Earp! Earp! and the other Tommy because he rattles like a turkey. There was a third that I named Pisa because she had a broken leg so she was always leaning to one side, but I'm pretty sure she died last fall. Tommy is Wyatt and Pisa's offspring.

Wyatt is much more sociable than Tommy. Tommy tends to keep his distance whereas Wyatt will hang out on my patio for hours, disposing of the crickets and beetles, scaring the pigeons away, and occasionally bringing me gifts like beer tabs or walnuts. He responds to his name and even says Hello, although it took a while for him to figure out how to pronounce it. Initially whenever I said hello he'd reply lalala, then it shifted to lololo, and finally Uhlo. He also likes to go for walks with me, flitting from tree to tree all along my route just to keep an eye on me (and in case I happen to procure any snacks, I assume). I didn't even realize he was doing it until one day I sat down on a park bench at the other end of town and he landed next to me and bellowed UHLO! Since then I've paid more attention when I go for walks and sure enough, more often than not wherever I go, my little corvid shadow isn't far away.
 
2022-08-11 5:01:55 PM  

Russ1642: Monac: Russ1642: Crows are as smart as a seven year old human? Yeah, stopped reading there. The guy's a complete idiot who obviously hasn't been around little kids. Sure birds are smart, but there's no reason to flagrantly bullshiat about it.

I don't think he's saying crows are all that smart.  I think he's saying seven year old kids are really dumb.  From what I remember about being seven, I tend to agree.

BTW, are you seven years old?  You seem kind of butthurt.

I have a six year old. The comparison between a crow and a one year old is a gigantic stretch let alone a six year old who can, for example, speak, read, and write in multiple languages. It's not about being butthurt, it's about the abysmal shiat we call journalism these days.


Relax, it's Lifhacker, nobody has ever compared their stories to journalism
 
2022-08-11 5:03:26 PM  

jaytkay: Russ1642: t's not about being butthurt, it's about the abysmal shiat we call journalism these days.

Because humurous blog posts are "journalism".

LOL guess who sounds whiny and butthurt.


I get it. How dare I criticize obvious bullshiat that gets posted on Fark. That's not nice at all.
 
2022-08-11 5:44:22 PM  

Russ1642: Crows are as smart as a seven year old human? Yeah, stopped reading there. The guy's a complete idiot who obviously hasn't been around little kids. Sure birds are smart, but there's no reason to flagrantly bullshiat about it.


I've known some dumbass 7-year-olds.
 
2022-08-11 6:22:46 PM  

apoptotic: I have two wild crows that still visit me even though I haven't been allowed to feed them peanuts in over two years (combination of city bylaw and nosy neighbor).

I named one Wyatt because instead of cawing he says Earp! Earp! and the other Tommy because he rattles like a turkey. There was a third that I named Pisa because she had a broken leg so she was always leaning to one side, but I'm pretty sure she died last fall. Tommy is Wyatt and Pisa's offspring.

Wyatt is much more sociable than Tommy. Tommy tends to keep his distance whereas Wyatt will hang out on my patio for hours, disposing of the crickets and beetles, scaring the pigeons away, and occasionally bringing me gifts like beer tabs or walnuts. He responds to his name and even says Hello, although it took a while for him to figure out how to pronounce it. Initially whenever I said hello he'd reply lalala, then it shifted to lololo, and finally Uhlo. He also likes to go for walks with me, flitting from tree to tree all along my route just to keep an eye on me (and in case I happen to procure any snacks, I assume). I didn't even realize he was doing it until one day I sat down on a park bench at the other end of town and he landed next to me and bellowed UHLO! Since then I've paid more attention when I go for walks and sure enough, more often than not wherever I go, my little corvid shadow isn't far away.


You need a hobby
 
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