Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WJAC TV Johnstown)   (Gullible) Police: Woman used pages from "spell book" to set car on fire   (wjactv.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Hollsopple woman, Leo White, Rock music, Police, pages, book, car, fire  
•       •       •

1842 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2022 at 9:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-10 8:53:49 AM  
Was she blonde with bassive moobies?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 9:37:08 AM  
That is pretty much the only effective way to use a spell book to set a car on fire.
 
2022-08-10 9:40:35 AM  
I'm not seeing the bit in the story that makes the police "gullible"?
 
2022-08-10 9:53:09 AM  
See? Magic is real!

/ just need a good spell book
// and a lighter
 
2022-08-10 9:57:09 AM  
"...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.
 
2022-08-10 9:58:11 AM  
Inflamius Impala!
Torcha Toyota
Burnius Beemer!

The road is mine.
 
2022-08-10 9:59:33 AM  
It isn't like they use fire-resistant paper when they print those things.
 
2022-08-10 9:59:45 AM  
Was she upset about a Tinder date or did she lose her Kindle?
 
2022-08-10 10:00:21 AM  
And what did the book say about the dangers of performing that ritual?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 10:01:43 AM  
So they found the burnt pages in the engine compartment, but she put them on the driver's seat through an open window? That's a good trick.
 
2022-08-10 10:01:55 AM  

Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.


Agreed. Ending a sentence with a preposition is one rule up with which I will not put up with!
 
2022-08-10 10:04:31 AM  

sxacho: So they found the burnt pages in the engine compartment, but she put them on the driver's seat through an open window? That's a good trick.


Well, duh, it's a spell book!
 
2022-08-10 10:05:03 AM  

eKonk: Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.

Agreed. Ending a sentence with a preposition is one rule up with which I will not put up with!


NOOOOOOOO!
 
2022-08-10 10:06:37 AM  
Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!
 
2022-08-10 10:06:47 AM  

HugeMistake: I'm not seeing the bit in the story that makes the police "gullible"?


I assume subby didn't RTFA and thinks she told the police she lit the car fire using magic.
 
2022-08-10 10:07:48 AM  
"I cast Bortles!"
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 10:09:31 AM  

Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.


The second "with" is a "courtesy preposition", you put it in at the end of a sentence where there's a long clause and you're concerned the reader will forget the first occurrence.
 
2022-08-10 10:09:55 AM  
 
2022-08-10 10:10:58 AM  

wingedkat: It isn't like they use fire-resistant paper when they print those things.


There was a special run of 451F with an asbestos cover.
 
2022-08-10 10:12:33 AM  

Schmerd1948: eKonk: Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.

Agreed. Ending a sentence with a preposition is one rule up with which I will not put up with!

NOOOOOOOO!


What? I clearly ended the sentence with not A (singular) preposition, but TWO prepositions. There's no need for the twist your undies seem to be up in....
 
2022-08-10 10:13:11 AM  
Police noted that witnesses had told investigators that Malzi was believed to be practicing witchcraft.

I'm trying to imagine at which point in the event witnesses decided "Holy crap, she's practicing witchcraft!"  Was it when she was pointing a shotgun at people or lighting pages of a book on fire and shoving then though a car window?  Neither of those actions seem very witchy to me.
 
2022-08-10 10:15:56 AM  

LouisZepher: wingedkat: It isn't like they use fire-resistant paper when they print those things.

There was a special run of 451F with an asbestos cover.


That's kinda cool.  Not terribly healthy, but cool.
 
2022-08-10 10:18:08 AM  

eKonk: Schmerd1948: eKonk: Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.

Agreed. Ending a sentence with a preposition is one rule up with which I will not put up with!

NOOOOOOOO!

What? I clearly ended the sentence with not A (singular) preposition, but TWO prepositions. There's no need for the twist your undies seem to be up in....


So you're just using a "courtesy" preposition as flaming yawn proposes. At the risk of repeating myself, no. And I will twist my undies to my heart's content up.
 
2022-08-10 10:18:50 AM  

HugeMistake: I'm not seeing the bit in the story that makes the police "gullible"?


Because this is a photo of the car:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 10:22:37 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Inflamius Impala!
Torcha Toyota
Burnius Beemer!

The road is mine.


Are those official Ubuntu distros?
 
2022-08-10 10:25:34 AM  

Schmerd1948: eKonk: Schmerd1948: eKonk: Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.

Agreed. Ending a sentence with a preposition is one rule up with which I will not put up with!

NOOOOOOOO!

What? I clearly ended the sentence with not A (singular) preposition, but TWO prepositions. There's no need for the twist your undies seem to be up in....

So you're just using a "courtesy" preposition as flaming yawn proposes. At the risk of repeating myself, no. And I will twist my undies to my heart's content up.


You must admit, it's hard to argue with a good flaming yawn.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 10:33:13 AM  
At first I was confused why she was using a dictionary. Then I realized it wasn't for spelling.
 
2022-08-10 10:45:59 AM  
I mistook spell as in spelling, as in a spelling bee (one of those things I'll never win). And I assumed it was Alabama or Mississippi or something.

"I don't need none of your spell books, the only spell I need is U, S, and A!"
 
2022-08-10 10:46:34 AM  
Spell book instructions: write down the name of each person who hurt you on separate pieces of paper then light them on fire.
Me: ok, now what do I do with all these pieces of paper?
 
2022-08-10 11:17:06 AM  

tsjonesosu: https://www.tribdem.com/news/patient-bolts-hospital-authorities-say/article_a16abf6c-1424-11ed-9648-63b173ec60ec.html
This looks to be the same woman from a few days earlier. She's crackers.


Good eye.   Or memory.
 
2022-08-10 11:21:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 11:24:18 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!


pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 11:26:38 AM  
Was it this chick?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 11:27:31 AM  

DOCTORD000M: Police noted that witnesses had told investigators that Malzi was believed to be practicing witchcraft.

I'm trying to imagine at which point in the event witnesses decided "Holy crap, she's practicing witchcraft!"  Was it when she was pointing a shotgun at people or lighting pages of a book on fire and shoving then though a car window?  Neither of those actions seem very witchy to me.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 11:49:54 AM  
If the MAGAts had their way, she'd be hanged and buried at a crossroads
 
2022-08-10 11:55:10 AM  
Anyway, here's fireball.
 
2022-08-10 12:44:19 PM  
I'm just here for the Hollsopple.

/whatever that is
 
2022-08-10 12:48:08 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 1:00:27 PM  
I tried that with the wicca app on my phone.   The phone never got hot enough.
 
2022-08-10 1:05:04 PM  

eKonk: Schmerd1948: "...man with whom she had a previous relationship with."

I weep for all the English teachers and copy editors across the universe.

Agreed. Ending a sentence with a preposition is one rule up with which I will not put up with!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 1:35:16 PM  
Not sure thats how you use a spell book to start a fire.
 
2022-08-10 1:43:22 PM  

stuffy: Not sure thats how you use a spell book to start a fire.


Well, you just need some matches, maybe some sort of accelerant...
 
2022-08-10 2:41:01 PM  
Isn't it gratuitous biasing of the jury pool for the cops to advertise that the woman was practicing witchcraft... given that THIS IS A SECULAR COUNTRY, NOT a "Christian nation"? I suppose, had it been other, they would have "accused" her of practicing Judaism, or Islam, or Sihkism, or Buddhism, or....
 
2022-08-10 5:33:14 PM  

DOCTORD000M: *snip*
when she was pointing a shotgun at people or lighting pages of a book on fire and shoving then though a car window?  Neither of those actions seem very witchy to me.


Having dated a few witches, I would dare say the former is a pretty on brand type of action.
If smashing all the glass in your house, including the whisky, on the front porch was an option I'd definitely choose that though.
 
2022-08-10 7:32:01 PM  
A witch spell book carries the exact same "magical properties" that the bible or the quran does. Which is exactly nothing. That was the only way she could have started a fire using her 'spell book' because it's simply a book and has nothing real in it, just like every other "holy" book.
 
2022-08-10 9:20:18 PM  
Huh, I wondered what Elfstar was doing these days...

/*Surely* not obscure, not here....
 
2022-08-11 9:16:37 AM  

OK So Amuse Me: A witch spell book carries the exact same "magical properties" that the bible or the quran does. Which is exactly nothing. That was the only way she could have started a fire using her 'spell book' because it's simply a book and has nothing real in it, just like every other "holy" book.


I expect we'll be seeing you in the Halloween thread. We always need someone there to tell us about sleep paralysis & pareidolia.
 
2022-08-11 12:12:52 PM  

TheWriteGirl: OK So Amuse Me: A witch spell book carries the exact same "magical properties" that the bible or the quran does. Which is exactly nothing. That was the only way she could have started a fire using her 'spell book' because it's simply a book and has nothing real in it, just like every other "holy" book.

I expect we'll be seeing you in the Halloween thread. We always need someone there to tell us about sleep paralysis & pareidolia.


Nah, I actually like Halloween. I don't buy into any of the supernatural stuff but I do have fun with the costumes and stuff. I can't comment on sleep paralysis as I've never experienced it and simply don't care about it. We all know about pareidolia so I doubt that I would be informing someone of its existence for the first time so, you are wrong about that too. I simply don't believe in ANY religion, funny how adherents of all religious practices get their backs up when you say all of them are ridiculous.
 
Displayed 48 of 48 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.