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(Lifehacker)   CLAIRE has thrown away her mayo to become.......a protein eating powerlifter?   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Meat, Nutrition, Acid, Vegetarian cuisine, Vinegar, hummus base, Lemon juice, Cheese  
•       •       •

782 clicks; posted to Food » on 10 Aug 2022 at 1:53 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



59 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-09 8:57:00 PM  
should we.....BELIEVE her?

girl turns 36, eats a steak house dinner (with a wedge salad, as one does), and suddenly everything is coming up hummus bowls?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 12:09:23 AM  
GFY, Claire.
 
2022-08-10 2:14:45 AM  
You noticed the wedge salad too, did you?
 
2022-08-10 2:27:23 AM  
imagesvc.meredithcorp.ioView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 2:30:19 AM  
ugh, isn't wedge salad from, like, the 1920s or earlier? so not just depression food, but trashpanda depression food.
 
2022-08-10 2:31:04 AM  
 
2022-08-10 3:00:06 AM  
I just thought you people might enjoy this music video

Delia - Acadele | Official Video
Youtube tkCflMyvRbM
 
2022-08-10 3:09:17 AM  
CSB:

Knew a dude who did a total carnivore diet (him and his girlfriend). First month you eat nothing but meat, but they let you cheat and also eat eggs, cheese, and peanut butter. Second month no more peanut butter, eggs, or cheese, but you can eat any meat you want. Third month? Nothing but steak. For a month. Only steak.

After that you can have any animal product you want but nothing that doesn't come from an animal. And they (carnivores) really recommend eating whole animals, nose to tail. All the organs and stomach contents and everything. But if it isn't a part of an animal? Can't eat it. No salads. No bread, pasta, beans. No fruit. No vegetables. No condiments. No spices. If it wasn't an animal at some point you can't eat it.

The guy I knew who went on this diet knew a guy who'd been on it for 10 or 15 years. Nothing but animal products for 10-15 years.

No idea if my acquaintance or his girlfriend are still on that diet. I can't imagine they are because it would absolutely suck. But who knows. I would not last through the first month on such a diet, and I love bacon.
 
2022-08-10 3:10:09 AM  
Oh my God adult cream pie

you guys are awesome
 
2022-08-10 4:18:40 AM  

zepillin: I just thought you people might enjoy this music video

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/tkCflMyvRbM?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


Da fuq did I just frantically fumble around for 5 seconds trying to close?
 
2022-08-10 4:19:37 AM  

Moose out front: CSB:

Knew a dude who did a total carnivore diet (him and his girlfriend). First month you eat nothing but meat, but they let you cheat and also eat eggs, cheese, and peanut butter. Second month no more peanut butter, eggs, or cheese, but you can eat any meat you want. Third month? Nothing but steak. For a month. Only steak.

After that you can have any animal product you want but nothing that doesn't come from an animal. And they (carnivores) really recommend eating whole animals, nose to tail. All the organs and stomach contents and everything. But if it isn't a part of an animal? Can't eat it. No salads. No bread, pasta, beans. No fruit. No vegetables. No condiments. No spices. If it wasn't an animal at some point you can't eat it.

The guy I knew who went on this diet knew a guy who'd been on it for 10 or 15 years. Nothing but animal products for 10-15 years.

No idea if my acquaintance or his girlfriend are still on that diet. I can't imagine they are because it would absolutely suck. But who knows. I would not last through the first month on such a diet, and I love bacon.


Meat Sweats - the Musical!
 
2022-08-10 4:54:11 AM  

tintar: ugh, isn't wedge salad from, like, the 1920s or earlier? so not just depression food, but trashpanda depression food.


Blasphemy!

I first encountered the wedge salad in literature; the villain in a Mack Bolan novel liked them, and so do I.

/maybe 'literature' is a stretch
//also 'salad', in this case
///still tasty though
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2022-08-10 5:28:13 AM  

tintar: ugh, isn't wedge salad from, like, the 1920s or earlier? so not just depression food, but trashpanda depression food.


No. The year was 1992. Crystal Bernard was America's Sweetheart, House of Pain and Kris Kross were both making sure everyone knew the importance of jumping,  and a 6-year-old Claire was drinking martinis and eating wedge salads.
 
2022-08-10 5:59:57 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: zepillin: I just thought you people might enjoy this music video

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/tkCflMyvRbM?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]

Da fuq did I just frantically fumble around for 5 seconds trying to close?


you can just ignore it it's Albanian
 
2022-08-10 6:00:44 AM  
Well I can see how I'm going to be received
 
2022-08-10 6:02:49 AM  
She's actually awesome

Delia - Africana | Official Video
Youtube j-FExtPgBok
 
2022-08-10 6:03:29 AM  
Delia & Macanache - Ramai cu bine (Official Video)
Youtube JNhiy0sTl5M
 
2022-08-10 6:09:23 AM  
Now that's art and she's an artistthe others are mostly just beautiful
 
2022-08-10 6:16:36 AM  
You should see some of the wacky s*** the ukrainians do

back to your cubicles
 
2022-08-10 6:19:20 AM  
Can we give Claire a Tf account
 
2022-08-10 6:21:21 AM  
Okay fine just one more but I'm never coming back back to business and politics

Ukraine

Время и Стекло - Лох
Youtube aj10Ab6Cws8
 
2022-08-10 6:53:22 AM  
One does not get swole in hummus bowls.

Technically I guess you could, but holy shiat why.
 
2022-08-10 8:00:25 AM  

Axeofjudgement: One does not get swole in hummus bowls.

Technically I guess you could, but holy shiat why.


it was something she saw on tiktok? CLAIRE is trying to do "grain bowls" sans grain because of reddit? some instagramer makes pretty-looking hummus bowls?

true confession: i personally subbed this one.

i swear i've NEVER subbed a claire link before! but i got bored last night and it became irresistible to imagine New and Improved Lifter Claire eating an endless chain of this:

Fark user imageView Full Size


and NOT squirting kewpie mayo all over it right after she took this pic.....

sorry to EVERYONE!
 
2022-08-10 9:12:50 AM  

Axeofjudgement: One does not get swole in hummus bowls.


You don't get swole with hummus
You don't get swole with hummus

I'm sorry. There was a conga line. What else can one do?
 
2022-08-10 9:20:03 AM  
food related music videos? ok.. [also the band is very anti-invasion They moved to LA. ]

LITTLE BIG - TACOS (Official Music Video)
Youtube nUwTnJ8yFXY
 
2022-08-10 11:38:19 AM  

tintar: ugh, isn't wedge salad from, like, the 1920s or earlier? so not just depression food, but trashpanda depression food.


Tasty, tasty trashpanda depression food.
 
2022-08-10 12:00:04 PM  

jbc: tintar: ugh, isn't wedge salad from, like, the 1920s or earlier? so not just depression food, but trashpanda depression food.

No. The year was 1992. Crystal Bernard was America's Sweetheart, House of Pain and Kris Kross were both making sure everyone knew the importance of jumping,  and a 6-year-old Claire was drinking martinis and eating wedge salads.


I should re-(re-re-)watch Wings!
 
2022-08-10 12:01:46 PM  
SO wait, she lifts (which is very cool) but then drinks diet coke at the gym?  Like, that's what in her squeeze bottle?!

cdn.shopify.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 2:27:39 PM  

Mcavity: food related music videos? ok.. [also the band is very anti-invasion They moved to LA. ]

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/nUwTnJ8yFXY?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


LITTLE BIG - SKIBIDI (official music video)
Youtube mDFBTdToRmw


Needed more Little Big after that.
 
2022-08-10 2:45:46 PM  
food vid thread? ok!

since an old friend isn't farking around currently, allow me:

Reverend Horton Heat - Let Me Teach You How To Eat
Youtube H96XcNWKZVg
 
2022-08-10 3:25:54 PM  
Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America
Youtube wvAnQqVJ3XQ
 
2022-08-10 3:48:06 PM  
Cup Of Brown Joy - Elemental
Youtube eELH0ivexKA


Technically a video about a drink, but still.
 
2022-08-10 4:08:49 PM  

toraque: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/eELH0ivexKA]

Technically a video about a drink, but still.


Chaphop?!  Alright that's a favorite just for that :)
 
2022-08-10 7:46:30 PM  

zepillin: Okay fine just one more but I'm never coming back back to business and politics


Freaks (1932) - One of Us! Scene (6/9) | Movieclips
Youtube 39Bnk6VU53Y


-unless you meant FROM business & pol-

🤔
 
2022-08-10 7:47:31 PM  
 
2022-08-10 7:54:02 PM  

Percise1: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 289x262] [View Full Size image _x_]

https://lifehacker.com/this-is-the-best-marinade-for-chicken-breasts-1849392667?ICID=ref_fark


psst- wrong CLAIRE thread, my brother.

i know i know, we HAVE SO MANY OF THEM, jeezus
 
2022-08-10 8:07:38 PM  

luna1580: Percise1: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 289x262] [View Full Size image _x_]

https://lifehacker.com/this-is-the-best-marinade-for-chicken-breasts-1849392667?ICID=ref_fark

psst- wrong CLAIRE thread, my brother.

i know i know, we HAVE SO MANY OF THEM, jeezus


Or IS it?  <sinister music>
 
2022-08-10 8:10:54 PM  

luna1580: zepillin: Okay fine just one more but I'm never coming back back to business and politics

[YouTube video: Freaks (1932) - One of Us! Scene (6/9) | Movieclips]

-unless you meant FROM business & pol-

🤔


Damnit, missed a double negative on my phone. Sighhhhh
 
2022-08-10 8:49:27 PM  

luna1580: Percise1: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 289x262] [View Full Size image _x_]

https://lifehacker.com/this-is-the-best-marinade-for-chicken-breasts-1849392667?ICID=ref_fark

psst- wrong CLAIRE thread, my brother.

i know i know, we HAVE SO MANY OF THEM, jeezus


Err... not really.
Subby said "Claire has thrown away her mayo..." and I pointed out another article in the same day that is ALL about her and mayo.

When she makes her humus bowl, doesn't she use mayo as well?
(nah, didn't read)
 
2022-08-10 9:08:38 PM  

Percise1: luna1580: Percise1: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 289x262] [View Full Size image _x_]

https://lifehacker.com/this-is-the-best-marinade-for-chicken-breasts-1849392667?ICID=ref_fark

psst- wrong CLAIRE thread, my brother.

i know i know, we HAVE SO MANY OF THEM, jeezus

Err... not really.
Subby said "Claire has thrown away her mayo..." and I pointed out another article in the same day that is ALL about her and mayo.

When she makes her humus bowl, doesn't she use mayo as well?
(nah, didn't read)


Yeah but I admitted being this thread's subby already. Not THAT one......

😜
 
2022-08-10 10:08:31 PM  

luna1580: Percise1: luna1580: Percise1: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 289x262] [View Full Size image _x_]

https://lifehacker.com/this-is-the-best-marinade-for-chicken-breasts-1849392667?ICID=ref_fark

psst- wrong CLAIRE thread, my brother.

i know i know, we HAVE SO MANY OF THEM, jeezus

Err... not really.
Subby said "Claire has thrown away her mayo..." and I pointed out another article in the same day that is ALL about her and mayo.

When she makes her humus bowl, doesn't she use mayo as well?
(nah, didn't read)

Yeah but I admitted being this thread's subby already. Not THAT one......

😜


We know, Luna.  Slowly, you are changing.  Slowly the Claire is becoming more and more dominant in you.  Soon... soooooooooon

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 10:21:09 PM  
Some Junkie Cosmonaut:

We know, Luna.  Slowly, you are changing.  Slowly the Claire is becoming more and more dominant in you.  Soon... soooooooooon

Noooooooo, save me from myself! Quickly, there may not be much time....

😈
 
2022-08-10 11:04:49 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Can we give Claire a Tf account


Only if it will draw her out into the open
 
2022-08-10 11:08:04 PM  

Axeofjudgement: One does not get swole in hummus bowls.

Technically I guess you could, but holy shiat why.


i very belatedly thought of another claire fail here:

if the woman wants protein, why is she eating tubs of hummus with mayo-roasted chicken breast and pickles? WHY is she not just eating more EGGS?

one should opt for chicken abortions over chicken boobs, for cost and convenience, a lot of the time......
 
2022-08-10 11:10:06 PM  

luna1580: I swear i've NEVER subbed a claire link before! but i got bored last night and it became irresistible to imagine New and Improved Lifter Claire...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 11:20:23 PM  

NINEv2: luna1580: I swear i've NEVER subbed a claire link before! but i got bored last night and it became irresistible to imagine New and Improved Lifter Claire...

[Fark user image 400x300] [View Full Size image _x_]


i know. i KNOW!

but i did explicitly apologize to EVERYONE upthread

-luv ya anyway, my dude. my inner trolly subby just popped out. this one time!
 
2022-08-10 11:21:38 PM  

luna1580: NINEv2: luna1580: I swear i've NEVER subbed a claire link before! but i got bored last night and it became irresistible to imagine New and Improved Lifter Claire...

[Fark user image 400x300] [View Full Size image _x_]

i know. i KNOW!

but i did explicitly apologize to EVERYONE upthread

-luv ya anyway, my dude. my inner trolly subby just popped out. this one time!


One. One motherfarking time huh?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-10 11:23:57 PM  

NINEv2: luna1580: NINEv2: luna1580: I swear i've NEVER subbed a claire link before! but i got bored last night and it became irresistible to imagine New and Improved Lifter Claire...

[Fark user image 400x300] [View Full Size image _x_]

i know. i KNOW!

but i did explicitly apologize to EVERYONE upthread

-luv ya anyway, my dude. my inner trolly subby just popped out. this one time!

One. One motherfarking time huh?



as a link SUBBY.
i SWEAR by all gods!

jajajajjaajajajaajajaajajaja

😈 💜
 
2022-08-10 11:25:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
img.fark.net

also, this sebastian gif is cute as hell bro
 
2022-08-10 11:31:13 PM  

luna1580: Some Junkie Cosmonaut:

We know, Luna.  Slowly, you are changing.  Slowly the Claire is becoming more and more dominant in you.  Soon... soooooooooon

Noooooooo, save me from myself! Quickly, there may not be much time....

😈


Right, to the hospital!

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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