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(NJ.com)   The keys to successful hospital marketing are institutionalized empathy, effective automation, and a closet full of guns   (nj.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Rifle, Firearm, bomb threat, Nuclear weapon, Hudson Regional Hospital, Ammunition, New Jersey, Assault rifle  
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1973 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2022 at 7:30 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-09 7:27:03 PM  
we call those Patient generators
 
2022-08-09 7:33:22 PM  
Reuven Alonalayoff...

He will definitely be the lone layoff.
 
2022-08-09 7:43:07 PM  
How else are you gonna get people to pay the chargemaster rates.
 
2022-08-09 7:55:04 PM  
The keys to successful hospital marketing are institutionalized empathy, effective automation, a closet full of guns, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.
 
2022-08-09 7:56:01 PM  
Nobody's concerned he was planning a mass shooting for maximum effect???? Why would a consultant store his gun stash at his employer's, of all places. If not but to light that place up later.
 
2022-08-09 7:58:04 PM  
"The director of marketing at Hudson Regional Hospital in Secaucus..."

In this business environment, aggressive selling is key to maintaining and increasing market share.
 
2022-08-09 8:04:12 PM  

pollyprepper: Nobody's concerned he was planning a mass shooting for maximum effect???? Why would a consultant store his gun stash at his employer's, of all places. If not but to light that place up later.


Because his wife was tired of his gun-humper shiat and made him get them all out of the house?
 
2022-08-09 8:07:32 PM  
Gun laws simply don't work.
No laws work at all.
Criminals just do whatever they want anyhow.
We need to get rid of all laws.
 
2022-08-09 8:10:26 PM  
Gotta catch 'em all!
 
2022-08-09 8:14:37 PM  
"He was charged with possession of an assault firearm and two counts of possession of a high capacity magazine"

That's a crime?  Oh right, he's in one of the stupid states where a 10(?) Round magazine is perfectly fine, but one that holds 11 sends you to jail.

They charge him for that, but not the unsecured guns?? I'd be far more concerned about someone with a bunch guns that just anybody can access than somebody who had a 12 round mag.
 
2022-08-09 8:15:24 PM  
Unless the forced-birth asshats were planning something and he wanted defense ... or was in on it.
 
2022-08-09 8:23:06 PM  

El_Dan: How else are you gonna get people to pay the chargemaster rates.


BRB, need to re-write my cyberpunk RPG character backstory.
 
2022-08-09 8:23:53 PM  
"I've got PEOPLE skills!!!"
 
2022-08-09 8:24:08 PM  
Wouldn't it be funny if they started jailing these nutbags until the Republicans started moaning about the "lost generation" of middle aged white men, and the Democrats replied "Build more prisons!"
 
2022-08-09 8:25:03 PM  

Begoggle: Gun laws simply don't work.
No laws work at all.
Criminals just do whatever they want anyhow.
We need to get rid of all laws.


You get rid of laws, you get rid of criminals
 
2022-08-09 8:25:05 PM  
could be he was just on the ready to put a smile on a Make-A-Wish child's face.
 
2022-08-09 8:28:55 PM  
Certainly no good would have come of that.
 
2022-08-09 8:43:59 PM  
Hey, it works for bowling alleys.
 
2022-08-09 8:45:05 PM  

Trocadero: El_Dan: How else are you gonna get people to pay the chargemaster rates.

BRB, need to re-write my cyberpunk RPG character backstory.


Former enforcer for a hospital billing consortium, current level one barbarian?
 
2022-08-09 8:47:49 PM  

little big man: Reuven Alonalayoff...

He will definitely be the lone layoff.


I was thinking that he made up his fake name while his friend, Alona, was bugging him.
 
2022-08-09 8:50:51 PM  
Republicans in Texas want every school to have a closet like this.
 
2022-08-09 9:12:39 PM  

pollyprepper: Nobody's concerned he was planning a mass shooting for maximum effect???? Why would a consultant store his gun stash at his employer's, of all places. If not but to light that place up later.


Cuz it's New Jersey and he probably has mob connections. He doesn't want that type of evidence in his home!
 
2022-08-09 9:14:25 PM  
He was planning something awful.
 
2022-08-09 9:18:13 PM  

little big man: Reuven Alonalayoff...

He will definitely be the lone layoff.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-09 9:21:36 PM  
Those marketing guys really wanted to make hospital quota this month
 
2022-08-09 10:45:11 PM  

MythDragon: "He was charged with possession of an assault firearm and two counts of possession of a high capacity magazine"

That's a crime?  Oh right, he's in one of the stupid states where a 10(?) Round magazine is perfectly fine, but one that holds 11 sends you to jail.

They charge him for that, but not the unsecured guns?? I'd be far more concerned about someone with a bunch guns that just anybody can access than somebody who had a 12 round mag.


You're right, we should prosecute people who leave firearms unsecured. We should also prosecute people who violate existing gun laws. Here in Jersey, we do. I like it that way.
 
2022-08-09 10:54:27 PM  
As somebody who has worked in marketing...I'm not saying I condone it, but I understand it.
 
2022-08-10 12:54:19 AM  
Now that his stash of questionably legal firearms has been found, what next?

Will he now be prevented from purchasing more weapons?

Will there be any psychiatric evaluation and mental health counseling?

Or instead will he be out on bail and legally acquire enough weaponry to be the next big mass shooter?

This is exactly the situation the Framers were contemplating when they wrote the second amendment.
 
2022-08-10 2:48:17 PM  
Where do you think the Zombie outbreak will start? Need to be ready.
 
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