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(The Onion)   Police Did Great Job, Police Say   (theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire, Police, actions of local law enforcement, local law enforcement, press time, grand jury, Jury, police department, Law  
•       •       •

2728 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2022 at 4:36 PM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2022-08-08 4:07:23 PM  
8 votes:
At press time, a grand jury was reportedly convening to investigate accusations of police misconduct.

Oh - nevermind.  That has to be fake.
 
2022-08-08 4:48:00 PM  
4 votes:
I'm fond of this summary:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 4:40:29 PM  
3 votes:

SoupGuru: If you're looking for capital "T" Truth, listen to philosophers or comedians.

There is more Truth in a single Onion article than a week's worth of CNN drivel.


I prefer the Standup Philosophers
 
2022-08-08 4:49:18 PM  
3 votes:

HighlanderRPI: SoupGuru: If you're looking for capital "T" Truth, listen to philosophers or comedians.

There is more Truth in a single Onion article than a week's worth of CNN drivel.

I prefer the Standup Philosophers


Are we airplane peanuts or are airplane peanuts us?
 
2022-08-08 3:40:18 PM  
2 votes:
It's not satire The Onion if you just copy-paste the Uvalde shooting response.
 
2022-08-08 4:08:30 PM  
2 votes:
If you're looking for capital "T" Truth, listen to philosophers or comedians.

There is more Truth in a single Onion article than a week's worth of CNN drivel.
 
2022-08-08 4:41:02 PM  
2 votes:
Nice police are nice to me.

Adam Buxton NWA - Help the Police (laugh track removed)
Youtube iZyqwOOmETI
 
2022-08-08 4:56:34 PM  
2 votes:

MattytheMouse: Anyway, in hindsight, my first clue that police are absolutely terrible at their jobs should've been how half of the unsolved true crime mysteries o listen to are always like "police ruled the death a suicide... But that doesn't explain how the victim managed to shoot themselves in the back 12 times."


"Well, you see, suicide is *technically* murder, so in order to make sure the criminal doesn't get away with it we had to use deadly force, unless we accidentally drew our handguns instead of our tasers, which we also do a lot. Is it too late to turn off our bodycams?"
 
2022-08-08 4:39:48 PM  
1 vote:
I'm glad the Onion goes the extra mile and confirmed this with the local police department.
 
2022-08-08 4:40:46 PM  
1 vote:
Holy shiat, they really said that?
 
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