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(The Root)   Federal Prosecutors looking to seize the funds in a federal prisoner's commissary account to pay unpaid court-imposed fines. And if that seems petty, the account has $28,000 in it, and belongs to R. Kelly   (theroot.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Prison, Supreme Court of the United States, United States, Federal government of the United States, Money, United States Department of Justice, Victim, federal court  
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1246 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2022 at 1:16 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-08 10:46:46 AM  
Piss on him.
 
2022-08-08 1:20:48 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Piss on him.


He would probably pay extra for that.
 
2022-08-08 1:20:59 PM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 1:20:59 PM  
He'd just piss the money away if they let him keep it.
 
2022-08-08 1:21:05 PM  
media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 1:21:29 PM  

SpecialSnowFlake: [y.yarn.co image 400x234] [View Full Size image _x_]


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2022-08-08 1:25:01 PM  
Drain it.  It will magically reload.  R. Kelly probably has more than a few fans who will drop a few bucks in to his commissary account.  Maybe load up R's phone account too.  That's the golden account.
 
2022-08-08 1:28:32 PM  
Two weeks ago, Kelly's sisters came to his defense in an interview with Good Morning Britain where they claimed that their brother is the victim of racism and that the victims in the case are "bitter."

Of course the victims are bitter, they have too much salt in their diet.
 
2022-08-08 1:29:29 PM  
Help yourselves, boys.
 
2022-08-08 1:34:51 PM  
R Kelly:  I believe I can buy, I believe I can....hold up what do you MEAN there's only $500 in that account?  I promise "Big Willie"  5 cases of Ramen a week for protection
 
2022-08-08 1:42:34 PM  
Imagine the spread you could make with a 28k commissary account.
 
2022-08-08 1:46:29 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Maybe load up R's phone account too. That's the golden account.


Not so if he's sitting in county jail. I just loaded $25 on one of my dumb fark friend's accounts to call me, he has called about 4-5 times, we talked for 30 minutes each time. and it only took off around a buck. They even get free MS meeting calls every now and then.
 
2022-08-08 1:47:30 PM  
Was completely out of the loop and didn't know he went to prison. Whoops. Also geez, $148K is a lot of court costs, but he's got plenty of money from that crappy music.
 
2022-08-08 1:48:59 PM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 1:51:19 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Harry Freakstorm: Maybe load up R's phone account too. That's the golden account.

Not so if he's sitting in county jail. I just loaded $25 on one of my dumb fark friend's accounts to call me, he has called about 4-5 times, we talked for 30 minutes each time. and it only took off around a buck. They even get free MS meeting calls every now and then.


That's because the FCC recently got involved in regulating prison telephone service.   Before that, what I would call "1970's long-distance rates"  were very common ($1-3/min)
 
2022-08-08 2:30:52 PM  
Usually a relatively low limit on how much an inmate can spend on commisary each week. Cook county limits weekly amounts to $100 for clothing and supplies and $100 for for food.

Don't know which jail R. Kelly is being held, but if Cook County 28 k would take a couple of years to spend.
 
2022-08-08 2:41:03 PM  
I've been incarcerated.

It's really hard not to piss your money away.
 
2022-08-08 3:02:49 PM  

iambichop: Usually a relatively low limit on how much an inmate can spend on commisary each week. Cook county limits weekly amounts to $100 for clothing and supplies and $100 for for food.

Don't know which jail R. Kelly is being held, but if Cook County 28 k would take a couple of years to spend.


Well, he's GOT a couple of decades to spend it, so
 
2022-08-08 3:22:24 PM  
Ain't that a pisser!
 
2022-08-08 3:36:10 PM  
There are so many ways to move dark money in prison that if he has dedicated supporters he will always get what he wants in prison unless extreme measures are taken. He is stupid for letting his commissary account get that big though. Most systems already have a mechanism in place to automatically seize anything over a certain amount for things such restitution, fines, court fees, and liabilities from other liens and judgments. It can be as low as 18 bucks or so. I am actually surprised they have to sue for this.

Furthermore, most systems have controls in place that limit overall spending. You could go through 25k, but it would probably take you 2-4 years. Although, with modern amenities in prisons such as personal electronics with streaming movies, games, music, and TV; along with email, video chat, and telephone you could probably blow through a lot of money. There are a few correctional systems out there, if you have the money, you could pretty much call, chat, video-visit with people all day long if you have the money and nothing else to do.
 
2022-08-08 5:36:14 PM  

Jclark666: Imagine the spread you could make with a 28k commissary account.


Idiot should have moved that to a protected asset class like USPS forever stamps.
 
2022-08-08 10:25:17 PM  

A Mutiny of Clowns: I've been incarcerated.

It's really hard not to piss your money away.


I'm sorry you went through that. Hope you came out okay. Had a friend who is in too long and he was never the same.
 
2022-08-08 10:32:45 PM  
These things do not grow on trees, son
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