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(SFGate)   See the sights on a weeklong cruise from San Francisco to Stockton for only $6000. You know you want to   (sfgate.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, San Francisco Bay, 8-day river cruise, California, San Francisco, American Cruise Lines, San Francisco Bay Area, knowledgeable local guide, American Jazz  
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2822 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2022 at 2:20 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



45 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-08 2:22:34 AM  
Wasn't "With Excursion To Stockton" a Key & Peele sketch, or a Peele horror film?
 
2022-08-08 2:26:30 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 2:30:28 AM  
shave one zero off that price and it would be kinda fun.
 
2022-08-08 2:33:33 AM  
Ahhhh, Stockton. The San Juaquin riviera. Home of the fentanyl wine cooler.
 
2022-08-08 2:38:57 AM  
Of note: Because of the Jones act, since the cruise does not dock at an international destination, unlike most cruises Americans are familiar with, it must be registered as a US vessel conforming to US regulations with a US crew - which probably explains a portion of its higher price tag.
 
2022-08-08 2:46:41 AM  
Since it costs $2,413 to fly round trip from San Francisco Intl. to Stockton Municipal Airport (65 miles apart), $6,000 ($5,397) isn't so bad.

$2,413 was the cheapest flight. The most expensive was $3,689.
 
2022-08-08 3:11:08 AM  

Father_Jack: shave two zeros off that price and it would still be a turd in a punchbowl.


...that's just like, my opinion man.
 
2022-08-08 3:11:52 AM  
Taking money from the rich is all fine and good, but they won't all waste their time on something this unexciting.
 
2022-08-08 3:21:22 AM  

cyberspacedout: Taking money from the rich is all fine and good, but they won't all waste their time on something this unexciting.


You hope it will turn out unexciting... that's the exciting part!
 
2022-08-08 3:26:59 AM  
How about you just pay me $6000 and I kick you in the balls?
 
2022-08-08 3:43:22 AM  
The price tag might be obscene, but the 8 day commute from Stockton to SF isn't too bad.
 
2022-08-08 4:00:36 AM  
I can't imagine anything more soul crushing than a week-long float through the agricultural-industrial heartland of the steaming swamp of the Sacramento river delta.
 
2022-08-08 4:07:14 AM  
It does seem a bit expensive but it does last a week and while I am not sure why they picked Stockton as such some of the other places are nice places to visit.  The company seems to provide easy going cruises for tourists who want to take it easy and not be too rushed and this maybe the only bit of CA that you could do a river cruise on, not like we are known for our big rivers here.
 
2022-08-08 4:17:13 AM  

Unda: Of note: Because of the Jones act, since the cruise does not dock at an international destination, unlike most cruises Americans are familiar with, it must be registered as a US vessel conforming to US regulations with a US crew - which probably explains a portion of its higher price tag.


That "US crew" is probably about as American as the typical luxury hotel staff. And paid about the same, too.


Maybe I'm wrong, and the crew is union. I'd be (pleasantly) surprised.
 
2022-08-08 4:17:59 AM  

cSquids: It does seem a bit expensive but it does last a week and while I am not sure why they picked Stockton as such some of the other places are nice places to visit.  The company seems to provide easy going cruises for tourists who want to take it easy and not be too rushed and this maybe the only bit of CA that you could do a river cruise on, not like we are known for our big rivers here.


Almost all of the destinations listed would require a drive longer than an actual bus ride from San Francisco to Stockton. For example, you cannot actually take a cruise up the Napa River to Napa Valley, you'd have to get on a bus and drive. Depending on destination (say, to any of the actually famous wineries in the valley) you'd have to get on a bus in Vallejo or Suisun and drive for over an hour to the destination, then back.

Cruising the bay and river delta by itself isn't too bad, it's the destinations that are the problem. Almost none of them are close to where you could actually take a cruise to so you'd effectively be staying on a boat-themed hotel and taking a bus everywhere. THAT is why us locals are laughing at it, and those of us who've worked in this kind of high end luxury vacation space are even more incredulous.
 
2022-08-08 4:20:26 AM  

Riche: Unda: Of note: Because of the Jones act, since the cruise does not dock at an international destination, unlike most cruises Americans are familiar with, it must be registered as a US vessel conforming to US regulations with a US crew - which probably explains a portion of its higher price tag.

That "US crew" is probably about as American as the typical luxury hotel staff. And paid about the same, too.


Maybe I'm wrong, and the crew is union. I'd be (pleasantly) surprised.


Jones Act enforcement is incredibly strict, union or no. If this cruise falls under it, the entire staff would indeed be American citizens or the company would be shut down during its first inspection.
 
2022-08-08 4:51:29 AM  

Gyrfalcon: I can't imagine anything more soul crushing than a week-long float through the agricultural-industrial heartland of the steaming swamp of the Sacramento river delta.


The delta is amazing. I've camped, fished and drank beer all over it. But this isn't the way to see it. Rent a houseboat and take your time. This also isn't the best time of year. Scorching hot. Early spring or fall is best.

Delta protip: Make sure your boat has GPS. Hundreds of miles of sloughs to easily get lost in. With GPS, it fun to explore (get lost). Bread crumbs will show you the way home. Also, many bars (and restaurants) with boat docks.
 
2022-08-08 4:59:44 AM  
I guess if I wanted to visit cali again I would drive... about 12 hours with a couple stops. Hit up San Fran, visit the sites there. I mean, we have done that but whatever. Then a drive up through the Redwoods. Ummm done that also. Lots of cool things to see really. Joshua is amazing at night. Done that twice.

Cali has some cool stuff. Get on a ship for Stockton and such? Lol. No thanks
 
2022-08-08 5:09:21 AM  
I live in the Central Valley 50 miles south of Stockton. If I go to San Francisco, I park at the Dublin / Pleasanton BART station for $3 a day. Round trip fare for the blue line to San Francisco downtown stations on Market St.(from Embarcadero to Powell & 5th) is $5.10 for seniors.

I save on 100 miles of driving, trying to find a place to park in San Francisco and avoid the traffic and tolls the rest of the way into town. I will transfer to San Francisco Municipal Transit Authority (SFMTA) light rail or buses when in town to get to my destination. The cost for seniors on SFMTA is $1.25 for two hours.

I will go to SF when I get tired of the 100+F temperatures we get in California's Central Valley.

I've driven through Stockton on the Freeway at 70 miles an hour. I've never had a desire to take an exit and stop to visit the 'sights.'

I can't imagine why anyone would want to spend $6,000 to go from San Francisco to Stockton.
 
2022-08-08 5:11:36 AM  
Stockton sucks. Moving away from there was the second best idea I ever had. Taking my wife with me was the best idea I ever had.
 
2022-08-08 5:54:28 AM  

thecactusman17: cSquids: It does seem a bit expensive but it does last a week and while I am not sure why they picked Stockton as such some of the other places are nice places to visit.  The company seems to provide easy going cruises for tourists who want to take it easy and not be too rushed and this maybe the only bit of CA that you could do a river cruise on, not like we are known for our big rivers here.

Almost all of the destinations listed would require a drive longer than an actual bus ride from San Francisco to Stockton. For example, you cannot actually take a cruise up the Napa River to Napa Valley, you'd have to get on a bus and drive. Depending on destination (say, to any of the actually famous wineries in the valley) you'd have to get on a bus in Vallejo or Suisun and drive for over an hour to the destination, then back.

Cruising the bay and river delta by itself isn't too bad, it's the destinations that are the problem. Almost none of them are close to where you could actually take a cruise to so you'd effectively be staying on a boat-themed hotel and taking a bus everywhere. THAT is why us locals are laughing at it, and those of us who've worked in this kind of high end luxury vacation space are even more incredulous.


Sure, and you could drive/take a train and do stay in hotels and do most of the itinerary in 2 maybe 3 days without any real rush. Sacramento is a 1.5 hour drive from SF (ignoring traffic which can be terrible)  and that is the furthest away it goes.  But this really isn't the point of taking something like this, this is mostly taking a ship around the bay and up some rivers and doing some minor touristy things, maybe meeting some people who you will likely never talk to again afterwards.   Rich, retired people form of distraction and honestly how likely is anyone of those going to end up in Stockton, outside a grandkid at University of the Pacific.
 
2022-08-08 6:26:47 AM  
...explore the culturally and ethnically diverse community of Stockton

Fark user imageView Full Size


"Just look at all that diversity."
 
2022-08-08 7:26:23 AM  

thecactusman17: cSquids: It does seem a bit expensive but it does last a week and while I am not sure why they picked Stockton as such some of the other places are nice places to visit.  The company seems to provide easy going cruises for tourists who want to take it easy and not be too rushed and this maybe the only bit of CA that you could do a river cruise on, not like we are known for our big rivers here.

Almost all of the destinations listed would require a drive longer than an actual bus ride from San Francisco to Stockton. For example, you cannot actually take a cruise up the Napa River to Napa Valley, you'd have to get on a bus and drive. Depending on destination (say, to any of the actually famous wineries in the valley) you'd have to get on a bus in Vallejo or Suisun and drive for over an hour to the destination, then back.

Cruising the bay and river delta by itself isn't too bad, it's the destinations that are the problem. Almost none of them are close to where you could actually take a cruise to so you'd effectively be staying on a boat-themed hotel and taking a bus everywhere. THAT is why us locals are laughing at it, and those of us who've worked in this kind of high end luxury vacation space are even more incredulous.


Fyre cruise lines.  It comes with one white bread sandwich in a polystyrene container and one bottled water.  And by "cruise" they mean an antique bus with a crudely painted ship on the side.
 
2022-08-08 7:29:33 AM  
Will they be making a stop at Pinacoladaberg?
 
2022-08-08 7:50:01 AM  
A week? To go from SF to STOCKTON?

What in the absolute holy mother of fuck are these people smoking...AND WHY ARE THEY NOT SHARING???
 
2022-08-08 8:03:41 AM  

king of vegas: How about you just pay me $6000 and I kick you in the balls?


I'll do it for five grand.

/volume discounts available
 
2022-08-08 8:17:28 AM  
I lived in Stockton off Hammer Lane for about 14 months after getting getting out of the Army in 02. It was quite the shock going from Germany to well uh Stockton...
 
2022-08-08 8:30:39 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 9:03:02 AM  

thecactusman17: cSquids: It does seem a bit expensive but it does last a week and while I am not sure why they picked Stockton as such some of the other places are nice places to visit.  The company seems to provide easy going cruises for tourists who want to take it easy and not be too rushed and this maybe the only bit of CA that you could do a river cruise on, not like we are known for our big rivers here.

Almost all of the destinations listed would require a drive longer than an actual bus ride from San Francisco to Stockton. For example, you cannot actually take a cruise up the Napa River to Napa Valley, you'd have to get on a bus and drive. Depending on destination (say, to any of the actually famous wineries in the valley) you'd have to get on a bus in Vallejo or Suisun and drive for over an hour to the destination, then back.

Cruising the bay and river delta by itself isn't too bad, it's the destinations that are the problem. Almost none of them are close to where you could actually take a cruise to so you'd effectively be staying on a boat-themed hotel and taking a bus everywhere. THAT is why us locals are laughing at it, and those of us who've worked in this kind of high end luxury vacation space are even more incredulous.


Depends on the boat. Ive launched my tin boat in vallejo and taken it up the napa river into napa ( navigable up to the golf course), had a burger and a brew, and headed back. Very fun day, and it cost me i think thirty bucks between gas and food...
 
2022-08-08 9:37:45 AM  

AbuHashish: Ahhhh, Stockton. The San Juaquin riviera. Home of the fentanyl wine cooler.


Listen, as someone who's lived in Stockton for almost 20 years, I'm sick of people who are only familiar with the city from Sons of Anarchy or some list of "worst places to live" shiatposting the unrealistic portrayal of the crime here the media presents.

It's much worse in reality.
 
2022-08-08 10:31:26 AM  
At least Lodi has all of the vineyards and wineries around it. All Stockton has is meth. Though I guess one could charitably call it "artisanal" meth, what with all of the independent producers.
...
Though I will also vouch for the San Joaquin River Delta area to be super pretty and a mellow place to float around at the right time of year. And as mentioned upthread, loads of small restaurants and bars you can dock at, grab a bite/drink, and head back onto the water.
 
2022-08-08 10:58:21 AM  
Oakland: "We're the murder capitol of California!"
Stockton "Hold my beer..."
 
2022-08-08 11:17:39 AM  
As someone who lives along the delta, I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

(They're serious? Whaat?)
 
2022-08-08 11:42:27 AM  
I've got a ticket on the bullet train to get there......
 
2022-08-08 11:43:09 AM  
Oh, Stockton.  I read that as Stockholm and was trying to math out how friggin' fast that ship would have to be figuring in how slow the trip thru the Panama Canal is.
 
2022-08-08 12:15:49 PM  
It will be like the Jungle cruise but instead of natives you will see homeless camps.
 
2022-08-08 12:16:33 PM  

Jclark666: AbuHashish: Ahhhh, Stockton. The San Juaquin riviera. Home of the fentanyl wine cooler.

Listen, as someone who's lived in Stockton for almost 20 years, I'm sick of people who are only familiar with the city from Sons of Anarchy or some list of "worst places to live" shiatposting the unrealistic portrayal of the crime here the media presents.

It's much worse in reality.


You had me in the first half.
 
2022-08-08 12:32:46 PM  

cwheelie: I've got a ticket on the bullet train to get there......


That's why we need the high speed rail, after taking in the sights in Stockton you could whisk your way down to Gilroy, Fresno, and Bakersfield for a truly immersive experience.  Who wants to tour cities, castles and cathedrals along the Danube when you have culture right here at home?
 
2022-08-08 12:56:58 PM  

mononymous: Oakland: "We're the murder capitol of California!"
Stockton "Hold my beer..."


murder building sounds worse than rape tower
 
2022-08-08 1:15:14 PM  

Father_Jack: shave one zero off that price and it would be kinda fun.


Only way you'll get to Stockton is on a rowboat or a bus. Sacramento is a lot more fun, unless there is some celebrity show going or or you're touring farms.

But six grand? I'll give a tour of half the state. And I know where the good swimming holes are at. I can take about 10 of ya, but some will be in the truck bed, and the dog likes snacks.
 
2022-08-08 1:22:06 PM  
Does the price include Hookers?
 
2022-08-08 1:34:20 PM  

kb7rky: A week? To go from SF to STOCKTON?

What in the absolute holy mother of fark are these people smoking...AND WHY ARE THEY NOT SHARING???


Well first you get to play Frogger on I-80 then I-5. and 99. Then cut through the farm and ranch land. Grab an apple on the way. You make it when it's 110 out, you're good.
 
2022-08-08 1:45:05 PM  

Jclark666: AbuHashish: Ahhhh, Stockton. The San Juaquin riviera. Home of the fentanyl wine cooler.

Listen, as someone who's lived in Stockton for almost 20 years, I'm sick of people who are only familiar with the city from Sons of Anarchy or some list of "worst places to live" shiatposting the unrealistic portrayal of the crime here the media presents.

It's much worse in reality.


And one of the final scenes includes the city I live in, however the green mileage signs info is incorrect. And I have friends and fam that live in Sac, Modesto, Turlock, Fresno, Redding. Their stories there might as well be an episode of that show.
 
2022-08-08 4:03:12 PM  

fanbladesaresharp: kb7rky: A week? To go from SF to STOCKTON?

What in the absolute holy mother of fark are these people smoking...AND WHY ARE THEY NOT SHARING???

Well first you get to play Frogger on I-80 then I-5. and 99. Then cut through the farm and ranch land. Grab an apple on the way. You make it when it's 110 out, you're good.


You're preaching to the choir. I've been through Stockton in the middle of summer. 110 is deliciously cool, compared to, say, the deserts around LA. It doesn't start to cool off until you get to Redding.
 
2022-08-08 5:16:35 PM  

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: ...explore the culturally and ethnically diverse community of Stockton

[Fark user image 272x185]

"Just look at all that diversity."


Stockton is, in fact, legitimately the most ethnically diverse city in the US.

Whites are currently only around 40% of the population, and most of those are Latinos, only 15% of us are White, non-Hispanic.

Of course, most of the money is still in the hands of a handful of White guys who inherited huge tracts of the best acreage in the country, own the local banks, and control virtually all of the real estate development.
 
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