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(Some Polite Guy)   Is saying 'please and thank you' in the same sentence rude?   (pixelled.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Manners, younger crowd, young girl, biggest problem, Sentence, Gratitude, If You Have to Ask, Positive psychology  
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307 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 07 Aug 2022 at 9:30 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-07 6:55:09 PM  
Yes.  I find it presumptuous and condescending.
 
2022-08-07 7:27:17 PM  
Yes.  It assumes that the other person is going to do the thing you just asked them to do.
 
2022-08-07 8:03:10 PM  
"Would you like another beer?"

Yes please, and thank you (for offering).

What the f*ck is rude about that?
 
2022-08-07 8:13:38 PM  
No.

kthnxbye
 
2022-08-07 9:17:18 PM  
Takk takk
 
2022-08-07 9:19:13 PM  
It's only OK if you are Kim Possible.

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2022-08-07 9:24:47 PM  
Let's just please agree that everyone is wrong about how they say everything and move on, thank you.
 
2022-08-07 9:34:40 PM  
Excuse me, seriously please and thank you!
 
2022-08-07 9:37:57 PM  
You can do it if you're Ron Swanson. He has a permit.

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2022-08-07 10:01:22 PM  
Passive aggressive
 
2022-08-07 10:05:50 PM  

TwowheelinTim: "Would you like another beer?"

Yes please, and thank you (for offering).

What the f*ck is rude about that?


That's not the context that springs to mind for the "please and thank you" line.  It's not in response to an offer, it's tacked on to the end of a request. "Could you bring in the heavy boxes from my car? Please and thank you."  I find that it makes even an innocent and normal request sound like an order, with a perfunctory effort at politeness that doesn't even bother to wait for a reply before "thanking" in a dismissive way because of course you're going to do what was requested of you.
 
2022-08-07 10:14:51 PM  

lizyrd: TwowheelinTim: "Would you like another beer?"

Yes please, and thank you (for offering).

What the f*ck is rude about that?

That's not the context that springs to mind for the "please and thank you" line.  It's not in response to an offer, it's tacked on to the end of a request. "Could you bring in the heavy boxes from my car? Please and thank you."  I find that it makes even an innocent and normal request sound like an order, with a perfunctory effort at politeness that doesn't even bother to wait for a reply before "thanking" in a dismissive way because of course you're going to do what was requested of you.


Yeah I read the blog posting and can see that being rude. Context is important. I was merely responding to how the headline was worded. It left a lot to the imagination.

And my Weeners is on the rude side too. I could have left "the f*ck" off the last sentence and still conveyed the same message. More or less anyway.
 
2022-08-07 10:15:41 PM  
Nice. I haven't been filtered in a long time. I usually take care with that.

/welcome to Fark
 
2022-08-07 10:15:48 PM  
Never heard it.  Maybe it's just a Girl Scout thing.
 
2022-08-07 10:19:51 PM  
I find it presumptive.

But then, every farking work email I get ends with a "Thanks!" I don't get that either. "Please send me Tuesday's TPS reports. Thanks!"

I know people that have the "Thanks!" as part of their signature so it goes out on everything.

"You will be given one more chance to refrain from commenting on your coworker's bodies and appearance. If this happens again, you will be terminated. Your cavalier attitude has been a concern since day one and you need to take this seriously or you will not be able to pay for Timmy's cancer treatment.

Thanks!"
 
2022-08-07 10:21:21 PM  
No, but it is rude to say "Please fark off and thank you in advance."
 
2022-08-07 10:55:35 PM  

lizyrd: That's not the context that springs to mind for the "please and thank you" line.  It's not in response to an offer, it's tacked on to the end of a request. "Could you bring in the heavy boxes from my car? Please and thank you."  I find that it makes even an innocent and normal request sound like an order, with a perfunctory effort at politeness that doesn't even bother to wait for a reply before "thanking" in a dismissive way because of course you're going to do what was requested of you.


This is exactly how I see it.
 
2022-08-07 11:03:17 PM  
"No. You're welcome."
 
2022-08-07 11:06:59 PM  
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2022-08-07 11:21:26 PM  
In the case of a request, it's rude.  "Please do x, thank you."  Its presumptive, you're not giving someone time to do the thing.  I hate that shiat, just leave off the thank you if I have no choice but do it.  It's probably not rude if you're accepting an offer.
 
2022-08-07 11:24:43 PM  
It's dismissive and passive aggressive. Yes, it's rude.
 
2022-08-07 11:46:00 PM  
I think we've got enough counterexamples here to say, it's not inherently condescending, but carries a significant risk of coming off as condescending.
 
2022-08-08 12:56:06 AM  

Unda: I think we've got enough counterexamples here to say, it's not inherently condescending, but carries a significant risk of coming off as condescending.


No.

It's situational, much like most social interactions. Use it in the right context and it's fine. Wrong context, not fine.

Prejudge, well, that's your problem.

Mind you, there's a great many people who are just itching for a social interaction to be just a tiny bit wrong so they can be right on the internet.
 
2022-08-08 1:26:52 AM  

Unda: it's not inherently condescending


If you're making a request (saying 'please'), that allegedly means you acknowledge that the other person has the option to refuse.  Saying 'thank you' before they answer presumes their cooperation before they've actually given it.
 
2022-08-08 2:22:40 AM  
go F yourselves. manners are so rarely displayed these days I'll take them whenever they're offered.
 
2022-08-08 2:35:50 AM  

sinko swimo: go F yourselves. manners are so rarely displayed these days I'll take them whenever they're offered.


Would you please simmer down? Thank you
 
2022-08-08 2:46:57 AM  

Redh8t: sinko swimo: go F yourselves. manners are so rarely displayed these days I'll take them whenever they're offered.

Would you please simmer down thank you?


FTFY
 
2022-08-08 2:50:19 AM  

TwowheelinTim: Redh8t: sinko swimo: go F yourselves. manners are so rarely displayed these days I'll take them whenever they're offered.

Would you please simmer down thank you?

FTFY


Would you please simmer down, thank you?

FTFU
 
2022-08-08 2:52:33 AM  

Redh8t: TwowheelinTim: Redh8t: sinko swimo: go F yourselves. manners are so rarely displayed these days I'll take them whenever they're offered.

Would you please simmer down thank you?

FTFY

Would you please simmer down, thank you?

FTFU


roger that
 
2022-08-08 7:20:39 AM  

TwowheelinTim: "Would you like another beer?"

Yes please, and thank you (for offering).

What the f*ck is rude about that?


That's not at all what they're talking about. I used to work in a gas station many years ago, and my manager would show up around 7 am and rush through the store loudly calling out things she wanted me to do: "Refill all the cups, mop the floor and take out the trash... please and thank yoooooou!"

The annoyance factor comes from both the arrogance of not waiting for you to agree to do a thing before presumptuously thanking you for it, and the smarmy, sing-songy tone of the "thank yooooou!"

It's all about being a pushy, aggressive asshole while simultaneously giving lip-service to politeness. It's the manners equivalent of waving your hands in someone's face while smirking "I'm not touching you."
 
2022-08-08 9:36:22 AM  
Well, bless your heart.

/all of you
 
2022-08-08 9:52:44 AM  
"Thank you."
"No problem."
 
2022-08-08 11:18:11 AM  
It's not rude when I say it.  But I only say it in jest when sarcastically asking for something unreasonable.

"Nice new Tesla, Bob!  Now buy me one, please and thank you!"
 
2022-08-08 12:03:54 PM  

Billy Bathsalt: "Thank you."
"No problem."


"You bet."
 
2022-08-08 12:51:27 PM  
Yeah, it's kind of rude.  They've dismissed you as soon as they made their order.

I've never had a problem with someone saying "No problem" though.  I do it myself.  I assume that you're at a job, and since you're being paid to do that, then it's your job, not a problem.
 
2022-08-08 4:07:13 PM  
It's like something your manager says trying to act clever/cute.


/ nothing in my contract that says I have to seem like I give a sh*t
 
2022-08-08 5:29:13 PM  
That is line used to remind children to be polite, even to their parents.
 
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