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(CNN)   Not content to let leopards have all the face eating fun, Florida man decides to go for a swim in Lake Thonotosassa   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Florida, South Carolina, contracted alligator trapper, Nuisance alligators, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, Hillsborough County Fire Rescue, American Alligator, Crocodile, elderly woman  
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3611 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2022 at 12:05 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-08-07 10:00:41 PM  
1.3 million alligators in FL

I remember when they were on the endangered list.
 
2022-08-08 12:06:18 AM  
I never thought an alligator would eat MY face.
 
2022-08-08 12:09:36 AM  
So the alligator bit his face and was. Aww no way I'm eating Florida man. Let me just starve instead.
 
2022-08-08 12:13:16 AM  
Nuisance alligators -- those that are 4 feet or longer and believed to pose a threat to people, their pets or property -- are trapped and killed by the agency through its Statewide Nuisance Alligator Program. A total of 9,442 nuisance alligators were killed in 2021, thecommission says.

What is the criteria for that?
 
2022-08-08 12:14:54 AM  
Alligators won't bite people who are sufficiently pure in their love of Trump.  There's only one way to test yourself, Florida Man...
 
2022-08-08 12:19:48 AM  
"Lake Thonotosassa?"

In the native Tocobaga tongue, that means "Don't Swim Here Alligators Will Eat Your Face."
 
2022-08-08 12:22:27 AM  
Swim with the gator, they bite the agitator.
 
2022-08-08 12:30:36 AM  
So... carnivorous reptile trifecta in play? C'mon Komodo Dragons go bite someone and gimme the news I need!
 
2022-08-08 12:48:41 AM  
Dat ad placement tho

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 12:59:20 AM  

jaivirtualcard: Nuisance alligators -- those that are 4 feet or longer and believed to pose a threat to people, their pets or property -- are trapped and killed by the agency through its Statewide Nuisance Alligator Program. A total of 9,442 nuisance alligators were killed in 2021, thecommission says.

What is the criteria for that?


Hopefully face biting?
 
2022-08-08 1:04:46 AM  

Golden Brown Delicious: Dat ad placement tho

[Fark user image image 425x726]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 1:16:27 AM  
With that many 'S's, I was expecting a python.
 
2022-08-08 1:18:15 AM  

Golden Brown Delicious: Dat ad placement tho

[Fark user image image 425x726]


I remember all those Fark threads and there were actually three men searching for Frisbees.
 
2022-08-08 1:45:20 AM  
The agency recommends people stay away from alligators and avoid handling or feeding them.

I really don't think this can be overemphasized.
 
2022-08-08 2:06:06 AM  
I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.
 
2022-08-08 2:11:03 AM  

daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.


I had a marine biology friend in Florida who put a 5 foot dogfish in a hotel pool for fun and sat back to watch the fun.

Hilarity ensued.
 
2022-08-08 2:58:53 AM  
It's quite surprising to see a story from Florida in which meth doesn't seem to be involved at all.
 
2022-08-08 3:23:04 AM  

MrBallou: daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.

I had a marine biology friend in Florida who put a 5 foot dogfish in a hotel pool for fun and sat back to watch the fun.

Hilarity ensued.


lollerskates indeed.
 
2022-08-08 3:25:32 AM  

MrBallou: daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.

I had a marine biology friend in Florida who put a 5 foot dogfish in a hotel pool for fun and sat back to watch the fun.

Hilarity ensued.


Why would they put a saltwater fish in a chlorinated pool of freshwater
 
2022-08-08 4:52:31 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: MrBallou: daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.

I had a marine biology friend in Florida who put a 5 foot dogfish in a hotel pool for fun and sat back to watch the fun.

Hilarity ensued.

Why would they put a saltwater fish in a chlorinated pool of freshwater


Dogfish are very tolerant of salt conditions. The fish was recovered and released unharmed.

Too bad the same can't be said of the guests going for a late nite dip.
 
2022-08-08 5:04:14 AM  

daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.


After that horrible story of the kid getting grabbed at Disney, I stay away from all bodies of water in Florida.  Oh wait, I quit going to Florida.
 
2022-08-08 5:18:07 AM  
And a Florida man was killed by an alligator while searching for Frisbees in a lake in late May.

Even Darwin didn't want to be associated with that one.
 
2022-08-08 7:07:21 AM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 8:05:00 AM  

daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.


General swimming rules in Florida...
Do not even put a TOE in any naturally occurring water. That includes puddles in parking lots.
Always carefully check actual swimming pools before entering.
Throwing the neighbor's yappy little dog in any unknown body of water is an under utilized but highly effective checking modality.
 
2022-08-08 8:58:46 AM  
d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.netView Full Size
 
2022-08-08 10:56:03 AM  

Habitual Cynic: daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.

General swimming rules in Florida...
Do not even put a TOE in any naturally occurring water. That includes puddles in parking lots.
Always carefully check actual swimming pools before entering.
Throwing the neighbor's yappy little dog in any unknown body of water is an under utilized but highly effective checking modality.


Eh, no.

I live on the Sante Fe River in North Central Florida. Thousands of people swim, ski, tube all summer in the Sante Fe, the Suwannee, the Icthnetucknee and all the related springs, of which there are hundreds, near our house. Tens of thousands of people swim, snorkel and dive in the Icthnetucknee and down at Crystal River and Rainbow River every year to see the manatees and the cool fish. The rivers like the Crystal, Rainbow and Icthnetucknee are typically crystal clear, and flow pretty well so you can see all the critters.

Most alligators prefer dark, slow, swampy water with muddy banks to climb up on. They can be found in a clear spring basin and in the clear rivers, but typically are moving through the area an almost never bother swimmers or boaters.

While there are definitely gators in the river near out house, the river is clear when the river is low and turns tannic when the river is up, the banks are rocky and densely wooded as such, I have never seen a gator on or near our property on the Sante Fe. I have seen hundreds a few miles upstream where it is swampy and dark.

In the river on our property we regularly see otters, manatees, all kinds of turtles, brown water snakes, the occasional cotton mouth, huge sturgeon, gar, lots of bass, lots of catfish, mullet etc. On our banks we have osprey, fishers, bald eagles, short tailed hawks, red tailed hawks, horned owls, barred owls, sand cranes, egrets, herons, ground owls, wood peckers, humming birds during the summer months, jays, cardinals, titmouse etc pretty much every kind of bird found in SE US. On our property I see and catch on my game cameras all the time bobcats, wild hogs, deer, turkey, racoons, fox, gopher tortoise, the occasional Eastern Diamond Back (they are way up in the yellow pines on our property never around the house by the river, do not like the water much and prefer sandy ground), once saw an Eastern Coral Snake, and I have found the very rare Panther track along the river bank by our house, twice in the last 7 years.

When in Florida, do not swim in any dark water, dark swamp water around cypress or marsh, no ponds or still lakes that do not have a regular swim area near a spring etc. Just ask the locals, or swim where the locals are swimming in large groups and you will be fine.

Have a cave diving friend that got bit in the face by a small gator years ago, he still has some pretty good scars, so getting a kick out of the article.
 
2022-08-09 12:18:17 AM  

MrBallou: daffy: I would never swim in a lake in Florida. Hell, I even check the pool before I jump in and that is fenced in.

I had a marine biology friend in Florida who put a 5 foot dogfish in a hotel pool for fun and sat back to watch the fun.

Hilarity ensued.


That is hysterical.
 
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