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(Google)   Dr Oz claims to have invented studman68.exe   (patents.google.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Length, Beauty, Human anatomy, Human body, Hair, Aesthetics, Golden ratio, beauty score  
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6004 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2022 at 2:05 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-07-20 10:28:31 PM  
The language of the patent is so dry, and yet it is so revolting.

There are so many different cultures and individuals, each having different standards of beauty. I do not see the purpose of this invention other than exploiting the vulnerable by ranking them low in "beauty" and marketing products to the resulting insecurity.

Somehow, these seems more soul-destroying than Oz's usual snake oil pitch.
 
2022-07-21 1:43:35 AM  
South Park The Boys Finds The List Part 2
Youtube aUQeCQXGNDk
 
2022-07-21 2:16:12 AM  
Dammit Oprah, why did you have to creste Dr. Oz?
 
2022-07-21 2:21:02 AM  
Could John Fetterman shiatpost his way into the Senate?

Fark user imageView Full Size


Good god I hope so
 
2022-07-21 2:21:46 AM  

OkieDookie: Dammit Oprah, why did you have to creste Dr. Oz?


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-21 2:22:59 AM  
Oh ... que.
 
2022-07-21 2:24:56 AM  

OkieDookie: Dammit Oprah, why did you have to creste Dr. Oz?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-21 2:30:52 AM  

BigMax: The language of the patent is so dry, and yet it is so revolting.

There are so many different cultures and individuals, each having different standards of beauty. I do not see the purpose of this invention other than exploiting the vulnerable by ranking them low in "beauty" and marketing products to the resulting insecurity.

Somehow, these seems more soul-destroying than Oz's usual snake oil pitch.


Right? It doesn't even analyze knee sharpness!
 
2022-07-21 2:31:43 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-21 2:35:39 AM  
The suggested enhancements may be presented as an ordered listed organized by a relative cost benefit measure.

ordered listed organized ?

What are you trying to say, you weird-looking orangutan?
 
2022-07-21 2:36:25 AM  
Fancy way to describe a symmetry detection measure.
 
2022-07-21 2:37:06 AM  
Beauty score datastore, huh?
 
2022-07-21 2:41:47 AM  

grumpfuff: OkieDookie: Dammit Oprah, why did you have to creste Dr. Oz?

[i.imgflip.com image 500x707]


She did it for the bees and big bucks.
 
2022-07-21 2:59:44 AM  
Evidently, the good doctor never watched "The Twilight Zone."
Fark user imageView Full Size


/what a sickening piece of shiat , that man is.
 
2022-07-21 3:06:08 AM  
"The beauty quantification processor may also suggest enhancements to one or more body regions to improve the user score. The suggested enhancements may be presented as an ordered listed organized by a relative cost benefit measure."

Wow. Just wow.
 
2022-07-21 3:12:14 AM  

C18H27NO3: The suggested enhancements may be presented as an ordered listed organized by a relative cost benefit measure.

ordered listed organized ?

What are you trying to say, you weird-looking orangutan?


I imagine they revised it from '...may be listed by...' to '...may be presented as an ordered list organized by...', so that they could add a claim
 
2022-07-21 3:13:29 AM  
I prefer Dr. Lot's research which shows that my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.
 
2022-07-21 3:14:35 AM  
This thing is giving of strong phrenology vibes.
 
2022-07-21 3:16:28 AM  

BigMax: The language of the patent is so dry, and yet it is so revolting.

There are so many different cultures and individuals, each having different standards of beauty. I do not see the purpose of this invention other than exploiting the vulnerable by ranking them low in "beauty" and marketing products to the resulting insecurity.

Somehow, these seems more soul-destroying than Oz's usual snake oil pitch.


This "invention" is advanced. It onlydestroys souls. Usually, he encourages people to destroy their bodies with quack medicine while also destroying their concept of a soul mattering.
 
2022-07-21 3:19:19 AM  

C18H27NO3: The suggested enhancements may be presented as an ordered listed organized by a relative cost benefit measure.

ordered listed organized ?

What are you trying to say, you weird-looking orangutan?


He was working toward the word count minimum.
 
2022-07-21 3:23:13 AM  

Unda: C18H27NO3: The suggested enhancements may be presented as an ordered listed organized by a relative cost benefit measure.

ordered listed organized ?

What are you trying to say, you weird-looking orangutan?

I imagine they revised it from '...may be listed by...' to '...may be presented as an ordered list organized by...', so that they could add a claim


Yeah, thanks.  I just came back to this thread and re-read the sentence and I see now that the wording makes sense; not sure what threw me off before.

/Mehmet Oz is still a weird-looking orangutan.
 
2022-07-21 3:25:02 AM  
I'm getting serious de-ja-vu with this thread. Anyone else remember this quackery from a few years ago?
 
2022-07-21 3:31:59 AM  
And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2022-07-21 3:34:24 AM  

Bslim: And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 636x889]


Fark user imageView Full Size

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/we're farked
 
2022-07-21 3:37:06 AM  
I just want to see John Fetterman powerbomb him during a news conference.
 
151 [OhFark]
2022-07-21 3:47:37 AM  

Bslim: And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 636x889]


And king zuck looks like he does while sitting on his piles of money while his invention was kinda sorta similar to this.

Weird. Suspicious.
 
2022-07-21 4:08:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-21 5:06:20 AM  

Bslim: And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 636x889]


Have you seen what Fetterman looks like? Little kids probably run from him.  At least his voice softens the first impression a bit.
 
2022-07-21 5:17:17 AM  

knbwhite: Bslim: And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 636x889]

Have you seen what Fetterman looks like? Little kids probably run from him.  At least his voice softens the first impression a bit.


Fetterman is WAY more attractive, due to his lack of evil.
 
2022-07-21 5:35:05 AM  
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2022-07-21 5:48:23 AM  
Dr. Dickface is one of those assholes who makes me wish I believed in Hell, so that I could rest easy in the knowledge that he would rot there in eternal agony. He and his ilk are a cancer upon humanity.

Given that we have Oprah to thank for both this sh*t stain AND Dr. Phil, I assume she'd be a circle or 2 further down.

/yeah, I'm probably going too, if there is a Hell
 
2022-07-21 5:52:11 AM  

skinink: [Fark user image image 425x590]


Is it just me, or do several of those look very Tarantino-esque?

Christ, what possesses me to Fark right before bed? I am in for some even more f*cked-up dreams than usual. Sigh.
 
2022-07-21 6:29:39 AM  

Golden Brown Delicious: Dr. Dickface is one of those assholes who makes me wish I believed in Hell, so that I could rest easy in the knowledge that he would rot there in eternal agony. He and his ilk are a cancer upon humanity.

Given that we have Oprah to thank for both this sh*t stain AND Dr. Phil, I assume she'd be a circle or 2 further down.

/yeah, I'm probably going too, if there is a Hell


If there is, then we'll find these three and kick them in the crotch.
 
2022-07-21 6:57:28 AM  

minorshan: C18H27NO3: The suggested enhancements may be presented as an ordered listed organized by a relative cost benefit measure.

ordered listed organized ?

What are you trying to say, you weird-looking orangutan?

He was working toward the word count minimum.


That explains why the application says "Flanders sucks" 27 times at the end.
 
2022-07-21 6:59:36 AM  
Howcome we haven't learned yet that Dr. Oz rapes murders and eats babies?

Because looking at him I know there are acres of bodies behind his house.
 
2022-07-21 7:04:04 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Howcome we haven't learned yet that Dr. Oz rapes murders and eats babies?

Because looking at him I know there are acres of bodies behind his house.


As an interventional cardiologist, they're not murders - they're "bad outcomes"
 
2022-07-21 7:11:54 AM  
I would guess Oz's contribution to this patent is similar to an Executive Producer in a movie. He might have funded it, but the Roizer family did the grunt work.
 
2022-07-21 7:17:22 AM  

Denjiro: I just want to see John Fetterman powerbomb him during a news conference.


Stop! I can only vote for the man once!
 
2022-07-21 7:18:19 AM  
Okay, teenagers and shallow 30-somethings drunkenly searching for a hookup talking about "ladder theory" is one thing.  It's ignorant and repulsive, but it's somewhat naturally understandable.

This... this betrays a deep and general ignorance of both human nature and basic concepts of "objectivity" and "subjectivity" to the point that it makes me think someone's doctorate (and any and all other degrees) should be revoked immediately for cause.
 
2022-07-21 7:28:51 AM  

knbwhite: Bslim: And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 636x889]

Have you seen what Fetterman looks like? Little kids probably run from him.  At least his voice softens the first impression a bit.


Fetrerman is not the one trying trying to make money off people's insecurities about their appearance.

This shouldn't need to be explained to you.
 
2022-07-21 7:35:52 AM  
Texas Paul REACTS to new Megaviral Dr. Oz 'Wizard of Lies' MeidasTouch Video
Youtube hnqay_kP-FM
 
2022-07-21 7:49:31 AM  
So...he created a Plastic Surgery Patient Generator?

Seems pretty much on brand.
 
2022-07-21 7:51:12 AM  

Bslim: knbwhite: Bslim: And yet, Mehmet Oz looks like this:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 636x889]

Have you seen what Fetterman looks like? Little kids probably run from him.  At least his voice softens the first impression a bit.

Fetrerman is not the one trying trying to make money off people's insecurities about their appearance.

This shouldn't need to be explained to you.


Maybe he should.

"I'm John Fetterman. Has somebody called you ugly? Send me their address and I will personally pay them a visit. *cracks knuckles* *holds up Gritty mask*"
 
2022-07-21 9:34:29 AM  

skinink: [Fark user image 425x590]


Oh God... give it up. This 'Craiyon' thing is neither funny or smart.

/ Post it as a funhouse mirror
// that'd be funnier
/// and more telling
 
2022-07-21 10:38:23 AM  
This seems pretty close to eugenics, no?
 
2022-07-21 10:44:29 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: OkieDookie: Dammit Oprah, why did you have to creste Dr. Oz?

[Fark user image 425x283]


Actually who would you trust more, Dr. Oz or a plate of pasta?  I think the plate of pasta might have a leg up on Dr. Oz

/Damn phone keyboard typos.
 
2022-07-21 11:08:32 AM  

NateAsbestos: This seems pretty close to eugenics, no?


veryvclose in vein, yes.
 
2022-07-21 11:21:54 AM  
Is he actually bragging about this dumb shiat?
 
2022-07-21 11:51:42 AM  

foo monkey: This thing is giving of strong phrenology vibes.


A friend of mine joked that she wanted to be a "retro-phrenologist" - s a regular phrenologist diagnoses someone's personality based on the bumps on the head, whereas a retro-phrenologist determines what someone's personality is and hits their head with a blunt object to give them the correct bumps.
 
2022-07-21 12:06:44 PM  

NateAsbestos: This seems pretty close to eugenics, no?


Eugenics had the same goals and equally odious supporters. Here, this is a for-profit attempt at "correcting" existing genetics.

But mostly this is psychological war on young women and men unsure of their looks, with the goal of telling the victims that they are objectively unattractive but that if they have plastic surgery, they might be more beautiful. It's like monetizing negging and insecurity on a grandiose scale.

Oz is a parasite - a tapeworm on our society.
 
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