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(Slate)   "How do I throw a sex party?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Sexual intercourse, Human sexuality, Oral sex, Human sexual behavior, Slate's sex advice column, Sexuality and society, sex party etiquette, Dyspareunia  
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710 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 11 Jul 2022 at 3:10 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



56 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-07-10 11:18:49 PM  
What, out the window?
 
2022-07-10 11:25:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-10 11:28:05 PM  
Put the fondue above crotch-level.
 
2022-07-10 11:29:23 PM  
First, determine if you need to rent a pony by the hour, or by the day.
 
2022-07-10 11:34:53 PM  
I wonder if you could induce a key party just by having a regular party and placing a big empty bowl near the entrance.
 
2022-07-11 12:07:18 AM  
This past fall I was invited to the after party for an orgy. Apparently I didn't make the grade for the orgy itself, but was welcome at the after party. I don't think I missed much though. Part of life is accepting that other people just happen to be cool enough to be invited to the orgy, while some of us have to be content with the after party.
 
2022-07-11 12:14:41 AM  

bearded clamorer: First, determine if you need to rent a pony by the hour, or by the day.


With or without the clown?
 
2022-07-11 12:20:29 AM  
Step 1: Know several people who would be willing to be in the room with you when you're naked.

I see no point in continuing to step 2.
 
2022-07-11 1:46:14 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: [Fark user image image 400x218]


I loved that movie
 
2022-07-11 1:48:40 AM  
This is probably the wrong place to ask this question. I am not particularly good at throwing regular parties. I suspect this is something you learn in college, or don't.
 
2022-07-11 1:54:19 AM  

giantmeteor: This past fall I was invited to the after party for an orgy. Apparently I didn't make the grade for the orgy itself, but was welcome at the after party. I don't think I missed much though. Part of life is accepting that other people just happen to be cool enough to be invited to the orgy, while some of us have to be content with the after party.


Dear Miss Manners......

Signed "Spooge Mopper"
 
2022-07-11 2:35:46 AM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 4:02:48 AM  
Crisco Twister.
 
2022-07-11 4:33:22 AM  
Don't forget the butt stuff.
 
2022-07-11 4:40:08 AM  
What do you do if you throw a sex party and no one shows up? Have a wank?
 
2022-07-11 4:54:12 AM  
I've seen this movie!

pics.filmaffinity.comView Full Size


Surprisingly little nudity, but at least you get to see Jewel Staite's butt.
 
2022-07-11 5:22:00 AM  

giantmeteor: This past fall I was invited to the after party for an orgy. Apparently I didn't make the grade for the orgy itself, but was welcome at the after party. I don't think I missed much though. Part of life is accepting that other people just happen to be cool enough to be invited to the orgy, while some of us have to be content with the after party.


You might want to be careful where you sit down. Perhaps bring you own towel to be safe.
 
2022-07-11 5:31:33 AM  
Well, we're gonna need a Twister mat. And lots and lots of towels.
 
2022-07-11 5:42:31 AM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 6:17:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 6:41:37 AM  
Very carefully.
 
2022-07-11 6:53:51 AM  
I'm reading the Fark comments because I'm sure that's where I'll find knowledgeable advice about anything to do with sex.
 
2022-07-11 6:54:46 AM  
Oh oh oh I saw this movie. When they're all in the hot tub, just throw in a toaster.

Then you cook a guy, though I gotta say that part didn't make a lot of sense.
 
2022-07-11 7:07:59 AM  
It's courteous to invite the neighbors so they don't complain about the noise. Or smell, in this case.
 
2022-07-11 7:27:55 AM  
FTFA-I am a queer polyamorous nonbinary person...

I have questions.  If you're nonbinary, how are you queer?  Can you be a nonbinary, non-queer person?  I'm not making judgements, and setting aside the polyamorous sex party, this seems a difficult concept to wrap my head around.
 
2022-07-11 7:54:31 AM  

LordBeavis: FTFA-I am a queer polyamorous nonbinary person...

I have questions.  If you're nonbinary, how are you queer?  Can you be a nonbinary, non-queer person?  I'm not making judgements, and setting aside the polyamorous sex party, this seems a difficult concept to wrap my head around.


Conversely if you're NB how can you be straight?
 
2022-07-11 7:59:08 AM  

LordBeavis: FTFA-I am a queer polyamorous nonbinary person...

I have questions.  If you're nonbinary, how are you queer?  Can you be a nonbinary, non-queer person?  I'm not making judgements, and setting aside the polyamorous sex party, this seems a difficult concept to wrap my head around.


Born male, identifies as a woman, has a penis, and is attracted to women and toasters?
 
2022-07-11 8:06:58 AM  
Oriental Trading Company has it covered:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 8:11:00 AM  
This topic reminds me of the time I spent the summer in a farmhouse.  The nearest neighbor (almost two kilometers away, but that's walking distance) came over, introduced himself, and invited me to a party he was planning for that very evening, in his big empty barn.   I wasn't sure what to wear and so forth, so I asked him what kind of party it would be.

Well, he said, about three in the afternoon we'll start eating.  Then we'll sit around drinking cider, probably with a little brandy mixed in.  That'll lead to singing - we know lots of folk songs around here.  Don't worry you can just join in on the chorus.  After an hour or two of that it'll be time for dancing.  After that there's usually some cussin' and fightin'.  Don't worry, nobody holds a grudge.  By midnight, there'll be no more fighting, but there'll probably be some weepin' and wailin' and "I love you"s.   That'll lead into makin' love, which usually lasts 'til dawn.  I think that covers the territory, do you have any more questions?

I was thinking I'd make my famous barbecue chicken, so I asked how many people I'd be cooking for.

"Don't worry", he said.  "Tonight it's just you and me."
 
2022-07-11 8:32:41 AM  
"Be the sex party participant you want to see in the world." - Some Sage shiat right there
 
2022-07-11 9:06:28 AM  
Step one: Invite Hennifer Lopez

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 9:12:14 AM  
gross.
 
2022-07-11 9:12:21 AM  
Classic bit...

Patton Oswalt - Rats & Orgy
Youtube SvbiGp_Evgo
 
2022-07-11 9:16:27 AM  

AlgaeRancher: This is probably the wrong place to ask this question. I am not particularly good at throwing regular parties. I suspect this is something you learn in college, or don't.


It's easy.
1) invite too many people.  The room must be overcrowded
2) plenty of alcohol and inebriants so nobody is in their right mind
3) music so loud you can't hear what anybody says
4) lights low so you can't see what anybody looks like
5) police should show up once or twice
6) nobody should remember what happened the next day, but they should all agree it was a really great party
 
2022-07-11 9:21:29 AM  

giantmeteor: This past fall I was invited to the after party for an orgy. Apparently I didn't make the grade for the orgy itself, but was welcome at the after party. I don't think I missed much though. Part of life is accepting that other people just happen to be cool enough to be invited to the orgy, while some of us have to be content with the after party.


And who knew that Madison Cawthorn was a Farker?
 
2022-07-11 9:59:14 AM  
Have never been to a sex party. When I was young and randy it might have been fun. Nowdays it just seems gross. Eww.
 
2022-07-11 10:24:05 AM  
Food/beverages
Towels
Lube
Condoms/gloves/barriers like saran wrap
Clean bathroom
Post any rules
Make sure any guests know they can talk to you if they are made to feel uncomfortable
Remind guests that not all guests may consent to their participation being shared with people outside the guest list
Are pics allowed or should mobile devices be stowed away?
First aid kit
COVID tests
Tissue boxes everywhere!
Be prepared to delay you own gratification to be available for your guests.
Pillows air mattresses extra sheets

/Hosted a kinky first aid/cpr training party a long time ago
 
2022-07-11 10:48:14 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 11:04:16 AM  
This is probably a bad idea, but... Here it goes...

Don't invite friends.
or family.

Get involved in local groups. There's usually an overlap between poly meetup groups and swinger groups. Being a polite and productive member of the local social groups establishes report and goes a long way to having people actually show up when you invite them.

You could also try getting involved on a social level at the closest swinger club. It might shock you to find out that swinger clubs actually have social events, but they do. Again getting involved and becoming a productive and trusted member goes a long way towards success.

Then you throw it as if it were a regular party but you add in extra sheets, towels, and condoms.

Any other method of getting one organized is, in my opinion, a gamble. You risk losing friends and social circles if you attempt it based on assumptions.
 
2022-07-11 11:25:20 AM  
SNACKS

At first blush you would think Twinkies and Tastycakes - you know, individually wrapped things. But you don't have to think too hard to realize that 'sanitary' is not much on the mind at these kinds of functions, and fingerfoods will be fine. One doesn't even need to worry about double dipping, as you'll probably have tasted everyone in the place already, in one way or another.

Avoid hot dogs, for no other reason then they will absolutely be used as phallic replacements by some people, and some women can get litigious. Same thing for fruit roll-ups. Or bottles, really. Serve in plastic cups.

Avoid hot sauces and extreme peppers, as they transfer from the lips to anything those lips might touch - you'd be surprised at how often this unpleasant surprise has brought a hot session to a cold stop.
 
2022-07-11 11:29:35 AM  
WTF did I just read?
 
2022-07-11 1:13:10 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: giantmeteor: This past fall I was invited to the after party for an orgy. Apparently I didn't make the grade for the orgy itself, but was welcome at the after party. I don't think I missed much though. Part of life is accepting that other people just happen to be cool enough to be invited to the orgy, while some of us have to be content with the after party.

You might want to be careful where you sit down. Perhaps bring you own towel to be safe.


You should always know where your towel is.
Particularly when the upholstery is moist.
 
2022-07-11 1:20:48 PM  

Fear the Clam: Oriental Trading Company has it covered:
[Fark user image 791x761]


Have they still not changed their name?

It's not the preferred nomenclature!
 
2022-07-11 2:20:13 PM  

Unda: Fear the Clam: Oriental Trading Company has it covered:
[Fark user image 791x761]

Have they still not changed their name?

It's not the preferred nomenclature!


Hmm...I used to know an Asian guy that went as Unda and lived in Massachusetts. Is that you?
 
2022-07-11 2:32:17 PM  

johnny_stingray: AlgaeRancher: This is probably the wrong place to ask this question. I am not particularly good at throwing regular parties. I suspect this is something you learn in college, or don't.

It's easy.
1) invite too many people.  The room must be overcrowded
2) plenty of alcohol and inebriants so nobody is in their right mind
3) music so loud you can't hear what anybody says
4) lights low so you can't see what anybody looks like
5) police should show up once or twice
6) nobody should remember what happened the next day, but they should all agree it was a really great party


How does this differ from a rave?
 
2022-07-11 2:54:38 PM  

Unda: Have they still not changed their name?

It's not the preferred nomenclature!


They sell things, not people.
 
2022-07-11 3:38:16 PM  
usanews.netView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 3:39:00 PM  
coldsorescured.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-11 4:06:54 PM  
SAHB - Gang Bang
Youtube vAcicjGaPhE
 
2022-07-11 4:08:20 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: giantmeteor: This past fall I was invited to the after party for an orgy. Apparently I didn't make the grade for the orgy itself, but was welcome at the after party. I don't think I missed much though. Part of life is accepting that other people just happen to be cool enough to be invited to the orgy, while some of us have to be content with the after party.

You might want to be careful where you sit down. Perhaps bring you own towel to be safe.


I worked at a nudist resort. There were lots and lots of swingers and associated swinger action all over the place.

I never once sat down anywhere in the years I worked there.
 
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