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(Thread Reader)   For you yanks that want to better understand why the UK is in leadership turmoil today, this bloke explains it swimmingly. It ain't a load of bollocks   (threadreaderapp.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Tory, Names of large numbers, Scandal, Long and short scales, Boris Johnson, Feb Johnson, Tory Party's favourite members, Chris Pincher  
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3891 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Jul 2022 at 9:07 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



92 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-07-07 8:22:36 AM  
"what the spangly tartan f*ck?" is a phrase I need to incorporate more into my life
 
2022-07-07 8:27:45 AM  
I can only assume this now means Will is now King Major of Parliament and he just declared war on America for harboring his hated fugitive brother.
 
2022-07-07 8:35:32 AM  
Subby just really wanted to use bollucks in a headline.

Also, where do I find some of these spangly tartan f*cks to give?
 
2022-07-07 8:36:13 AM  
There are some really golden insults in that thread:

Peter Bone, a child's drawing of their vampire grandad...

Cigar-chomping Uncle Fester impersonator Therese Coffey...

Boris Johnson, the randy yeti...

deranged ukulele enthusiast and follicular fire-hazard Michael Fabricant...

Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Microsoft Paperclip standing to attention...
 
2022-07-07 8:38:25 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: There are some really golden insults in that thread:

Peter Bone, a child's drawing of their vampire grandad...

Cigar-chomping Uncle Fester impersonator Therese Coffey...

Boris Johnson, the randy yeti...

deranged ukulele enthusiast and follicular fire-hazard Michael Fabricant...

Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Microsoft Paperclip standing to attention...


Between him and John Oliver, Brits have some insanely creative ways to insult people by describing them
 
2022-07-07 8:41:20 AM  
Good lord 😬
 
2022-07-07 8:47:44 AM  
I'm totaling stealing "follicular fire-hazard".
 
2022-07-07 9:01:06 AM  
I'm upvoting this for tractor-wanking star.

I'm staying to ask questions.  I understand the scandal parts.  I don't understand why they're resigning, and why resignations force the PM to resign as well.

What I'm saying is that I need it translated into American.  Our elected Reps get caught in scandals, they just hang around and continue criming.  Is Johnson resigning, just because his party will lose the majority, and he doesn't want to be the PM without the majority. because that would be hard?
 
2022-07-07 9:10:12 AM  

Ker_Thwap: I'm upvoting this for tractor-wanking star.

I'm staying to ask questions.  I understand the scandal parts.  I don't understand why they're resigning, and why resignations force the PM to resign as well.

What I'm saying is that I need it translated into American.  Our elected Reps get caught in scandals, they just hang around and continue criming.  Is Johnson resigning, just because his party will lose the majority, and he doesn't want to be the PM without the majority. because that would be hard?


They're resigning much in the way that rats flee a sinking ship
 
2022-07-07 9:12:28 AM  

somedude210: "what the spangly tartan f*ck?" is a phrase I need to incorporate more into my life


Child's name. Easiest way to ensure you use it more regularly.
 
2022-07-07 9:13:01 AM  
Boris was surprised that "groper" was not a protected class for employment purposes.
 
2022-07-07 9:13:03 AM  
Sounds about right... good work.
 
2022-07-07 9:14:02 AM  
Coffey said "Tory men do not have [a] particular problem with sexual harassment"

To be fair, this is one hundred percent accurate. They've proven many times they have no problem with it whatsoever!
 
2022-07-07 9:14:06 AM  
In America the gqp would give him a giant attaboy and throw millions to get him re elected.
 
2022-07-07 9:15:37 AM  

Ker_Thwap: What I'm saying is that I need it translated into American.


Foreign politicians tend to have honor, and resign when they do dishonorable things.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-07 9:18:12 AM  
1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.
 
2022-07-07 9:18:36 AM  
Butch doing opinion for Channel 4 now?
 
2022-07-07 9:19:21 AM  
What about a load of fetid dingo kidneys?
 
2022-07-07 9:19:35 AM  
For some reason I read that headline in this guy's voice.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-07 9:22:14 AM  
They analysed this shambolic cockup very well. I favour this manoeuvre. Bob's your uncle. Other British spellings.
 
2022-07-07 9:22:24 AM  

Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.


You're tilting at windmills.  Twitter is the new medium, like it or not.  Get used to it.
 
2022-07-07 9:24:01 AM  

Lexx: Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.

You're tilting at windmills.  Twitter is the new medium, like it or not.  Get used to it.


What has this got to do with Twitter?
 
2022-07-07 9:25:37 AM  

Russ1642: Lexx: Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.

You're tilting at windmills.  Twitter is the new medium, like it or not.  Get used to it.

What has this got to do with Twitter?


The threadreader site takes long twitter threads and puts them into one page.
 
2022-07-07 9:26:48 AM  
Because the entire English speaking world about lost its mind a few years back, and has yet to entirely recover?
 
2022-07-07 9:26:49 AM  
Maybe some Glasgow Scot will decorate this rather drab tale with more colorful language.
 
2022-07-07 9:27:24 AM  
I know I should have read that in Simon Pegg's voice, but Bill Burr's voice won the day. 

WHAT THEH SPANGLY TAWTAN FAWK?
 
2022-07-07 9:29:06 AM  
But don't they have a Queen to...oh, yeah, right, that whole dog and pony act is just for show.
 
2022-07-07 9:29:25 AM  

Samfucious: Because the entire English speaking world about lost its mind a few years back, and has yet to entirely recover?


But we were about to have a woman run things. A. WOMAN.
 
2022-07-07 9:29:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-07 9:31:02 AM  

Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.


I strongly prefer the numbers to the talmudic wall of words.
 
2022-07-07 9:31:17 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-07 9:33:27 AM  
Ok. So, the dude has a reputation for groping. And his name is Pincher? When did we slip into the Dick Tracy mobster universe?
 
2022-07-07 9:33:37 AM  
"Chris Pincher was accused of groping 2 men after getting indescribably pissed"

let's give these fellers a shot, shall we?

The Philosopher's Song - Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Youtube PtgKkifJ0Pw
 
2022-07-07 9:34:18 AM  
"Or Stephen Crabb, who texted a 19-year-old he'd just interviewed for a job, inviting her to meet him for sex"

Does that ever work?  "Hi, thanks for coming in today.  The way I see it: I'm a middle age man of middling attractiveness.  With makeup and hair styling, you're a solid 7/10 teenager.  How about some sex?"
 
2022-07-07 9:36:03 AM  

Driedsponge: Subby just really wanted to use bollucks in a headline.

Also, where do I find some of these spangly tartan f*cks to give?


Pornh...oh, to give
 
2022-07-07 9:36:24 AM  

hoodiowithtudio: Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.

I strongly prefer the numbers to the talmudic wall of words.


We should go in the opposite direction entirely.  All caps, no spaces between words, no punctuation.  Just like the ancient Romans would have wanted.
 
2022-07-07 9:36:44 AM  
Nostalgia for some past perceived glory days caused a large segment of the population to make very stupid choices in politics and politicians. This, eventually leading to a leadership crisis.

Seems to me like that would be very to Americans.
 
2022-07-07 9:36:56 AM  

Gubbo: Ker_Thwap: I'm upvoting this for tractor-wanking star.

I'm staying to ask questions.  I understand the scandal parts.  I don't understand why they're resigning, and why resignations force the PM to resign as well.

What I'm saying is that I need it translated into American.  Our elected Reps get caught in scandals, they just hang around and continue criming.  Is Johnson resigning, just because his party will lose the majority, and he doesn't want to be the PM without the majority. because that would be hard?

They're resigning much in the way that rats flee a sinking ship


Except for Gove, who was thrown off the sinking ship
 
2022-07-07 9:42:46 AM  

MisterBill: Russ1642: Lexx: Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.

You're tilting at windmills.  Twitter is the new medium, like it or not.  Get used to it.

What has this got to do with Twitter?

The threadreader site takes long twitter threads and puts them into one page.


That's the fixed version? Why don't they fix the farked up formatting?
 
2022-07-07 9:43:56 AM  
"they've finally become sick of their place in the stitched-up, crawling Human Centipede through which the PM's endless stream of thick, lustrous bullshiat has to pass before it reaches the public "
 
2022-07-07 9:44:37 AM  
Jeezy Creezy, have you all not heard of the "Me Too" movement?
 
2022-07-07 9:48:55 AM  
Okay UK, that's enough now.  You had centuries to piss all over the world and embarass yourself. It's America's time.
 
2022-07-07 9:49:50 AM  

empres77: Jeezy Creezy, have you all not heard of the "Me Too" movement?


They have. But see how they drive on the opposite side of the road?

It's like that - but with a** grabbing. "Me, too!" means a whole other thing, I'm guessing....
 
2022-07-07 9:51:56 AM  

somedude210: "what the spangly tartan f*ck?" is a phrase I need to incorporate more into my life


Hard same.  I told it to my wife and she approved.
 
2022-07-07 9:52:59 AM  

Lexx: Russ1642: 1. Your blog sucks.
2. Learn to write without numbering your sentences and putting them in a list.

You're tilting at windmills.  Twitter is the new medium, like it or not.  Get used to it.


No. I refuse.
 
2022-07-07 9:54:47 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: There are some really golden insults in that thread:

Peter Bone, a child's drawing of their vampire grandad...

Cigar-chomping Uncle Fester impersonator Therese Coffey...

Boris Johnson, the randy yeti...

deranged ukulele enthusiast and follicular fire-hazard Michael Fabricant...

Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Microsoft Paperclip standing to attention...

Nurse Ratchetprototype Priti Patel

was the on that got me rolling with laughter.
 
2022-07-07 9:59:25 AM  

NM Volunteer: Ker_Thwap: What I'm saying is that I need it translated into American.

Foreign politicians tend to have honor, and resign when they do dishonorable things.

[Fark user image image 500x755]


To all republicans...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-07 10:01:09 AM  

somedude210: "what the spangly tartan f*ck?" is a phrase I need to incorporate more into my life


Same!
 
2022-07-07 10:01:31 AM  

somedude210: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: There are some really golden insults in that thread:

Peter Bone, a child's drawing of their vampire grandad...

Cigar-chomping Uncle Fester impersonator Therese Coffey...

Boris Johnson, the randy yeti...

deranged ukulele enthusiast and follicular fire-hazard Michael Fabricant...

Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Microsoft Paperclip standing to attention...

Between him and John Oliver, Brits have some insanely creative ways to insult people by describing them


You should check out Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder.
 
2022-07-07 10:03:46 AM  

Samfucious: Ok. So, the dude has a reputation for groping. And his name is Pincher? When did we slip into the Dick Tracy mobster universe?


The moment we let some self-aggrandizing liar named Trump have a political career.
 
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