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(Fark)   Its the middle of summer, its hotter than satans ballsack. Tell us your perfect smoothie to give us relief from the heat   (fark.com) divider line
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78 clicks; posted to Food » on 06 Jul 2022 at 9:16 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-07-06 5:55:18 PM  
Get a really sweet malty high alcohol beer, and make a beer milkshake.
 
2022-07-06 6:17:37 PM  
A couple of weeks ago, I decided I needed to do something about the elderly box of popsicles in my freezer. They were freezer burnt, sticky, and misshapen and in cherry, orange, grape, and lime flavors.

I slid them off their sticks into the blender and added a healthy splash of rum, blended until smooth and slushy, and gave it a try, half expecting to dump it down the sink.

It was damn delicious and now that I'm remembering it, I'm adding popsicles to my grocery list so I can have it again.
 
2022-07-06 7:04:52 PM  
First you add ice cold Vodka. Actually that's the whole thing
 
2022-07-06 9:21:37 PM  
Orange juice, vanilla ice cream, vodka.
 
2022-07-06 9:22:17 PM  
are we really doing this again already

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switchel
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrub_(drink)

/{vodak, rhum, whisky} ad lib
 
2022-07-06 9:23:56 PM  
For two ~12 oz servings:

flesh from 2 ripe red mangos
sugar to taste
pinch of black cardamom powder
100 g plain yogurt
120 g milk
12-16 oz glass full of ice cubes
pinch crumbled saffron threads on top (optional)

Puree everything but the ice until it's smooth and creamy, then add ice and blend until the large pieces are gone.
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-07-06 9:24:34 PM  
Watermelon juice, a handful of frozen strawberries, frozen acai puree, splash of agave, ice, blend.
 
2022-07-06 9:24:57 PM  
That one beer you forgot in the freezer.
 
2022-07-06 9:27:04 PM  
Whisky
 
2022-07-06 9:47:19 PM  
Two bananas (broken up and chilled), two little containers of Activia vanilla yogurt, and a scoop of chocolate marshmallow ice cream. Blend them for a tasty cold smoothie that's also good* for your gut flora.

* Better than a punch in the kidneys, certainly
 
2022-07-06 9:53:54 PM  
Strawberry and banana with a vitamin powder.
 
2022-07-06 10:23:38 PM  
My knock off strawberry surf rider:
Half a frozen banana
Half a cup of strawberries
1 cup limeade
1 tbsp lemon juice
Feel free to swap the last two with lemonade and lime juice if that's what you have.

And watermelon mojito
1 cup strawberries
1 cup watermelon-ade
Add fresh or dried mint to taste
Rum optional

Blend both to smooth.
 
2022-07-06 10:25:48 PM  
The French Smoothie

Handful frozen pineapple
Handful and a half frozen raspberries
Water just enough to cover
Blend til smooth
1 scoop of your favorite vanilla protein powder
Blitz 2x

(It's french martini flavored)
 
2022-07-06 10:29:35 PM  
My favorite boozy one

Lots of Gin
Frozen watermelon and strawberries
Lemon juice
Basil or mint
 
2022-07-06 10:48:10 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: That one beer you forgot in the freezer.


heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
 
2022-07-06 11:23:11 PM  
placenta
 
2022-07-07 12:20:55 AM  
Fresh squeezed orange juice and chilled Kahlua.

/s
 
2022-07-07 2:01:24 AM  
Mango/apricot lassi with a stiff shot of rum
 
2022-07-07 2:55:38 AM  
 
2022-07-07 3:57:22 AM  

tintar: are we really doing this again already

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switchel
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrub_(drink)

/{vodak, rhum, whisky} ad lib


Nope. Never. To my nose and tongue citric acid says "fruit". Acetic acid says " horribly spoiled fruit."
 
2022-07-07 8:34:33 AM  
I've been trying to get more fruit in my diet, so breakfasts smoothies it is.

In a blender I'll add a cup of those frozen fruit chunks (i.e. berry blend, tropical blend). This serves as the ice for the smoothie. Next it's a few heaping tea spoons of vanilla greek yogurt or whatever flavor is on hand. Next, a half cup of almond milk or OJ. Lastly, whatever fruit you have on hand. Oplional: A few tablespoons of hon.

Today it was frozen berries, fresh cherrries, 1 fresh pear, cherry yogurt and almond milk. Mmm.

I'm anxious to try a banana, blueberry and peanut butter one tomorrow.

If I'm drinking a frozen, blended alcoholic drink - it's probably A strong piñata colada with a rum floater on a beach somewhere.
 
2022-07-07 9:05:31 AM  
This smoothie is easy.  Gin, a splash of vermouth, some ice, and olives.  Shake well and drink. ;)
 
2022-07-07 10:36:17 AM  

blodyholy: I've been trying to get more fruit in my diet, so breakfasts smoothies it is.

In a blender I'll add a cup of those frozen fruit chunks (i.e. berry blend, tropical blend). This serves as the ice for the smoothie. Next it's a few heaping tea spoons of vanilla greek yogurt or whatever flavor is on hand. Next, a half cup of almond milk or OJ. Lastly, whatever fruit you have on hand. Oplional: A few tablespoons of hon.

Today it was frozen berries, fresh cherrries, 1 fresh pear, cherry yogurt and almond milk. Mmm.

I'm anxious to try a banana, blueberry and peanut butter one tomorrow.

If I'm drinking a frozen, blended alcoholic drink - it's probably A strong piñata colada with a rum floater on a beach somewhere.


Banana peanut butter smoothie is a Goddamn calorie bomb, but sooooooooo good
I recommend getting that powdered peanut butter because it takes A LOT of regular peanut butter to get the flavour and that can easily reach 500 calories
 
2022-07-07 10:44:38 AM  

talkyournonsense: The French Smoothie:


The Maid in your presumably French Hotel quarters who comes in after you leave to tidy up, until she finds a glass sex toy half-hidden behind one of the pillows on your complimentary couch
 
2022-07-07 12:51:59 PM  

baxterdog: Fresh squeezed orange juice and chilled Kahlua.

/s


tootsie roll? (nosrsly, you know that's exactly what it tastes like, I shiate you not)
 
2022-07-07 2:27:29 PM  
I also enjoy getting a Slurpee and drowning it with rum. I'm pretty sure that's why the Slurpee was invented.
 
2022-07-07 2:50:30 PM  

azn_firebug: I also enjoy getting a Slurpee and drowning it with rum. I'm pretty sure that's why the Slurpee was invented.


a lot of our usual dives now have Squishee machines (hells, even one of the local supermarche has literally 2 of them... sitting on the beer/wine checkout counter, lol!) - but they're still pretty low-octane and in dire need of additional assistance.
 
2022-07-07 5:36:44 PM  

Be polite walk on the right: talkyournonsense: The French Smoothie:

The Maid in your presumably French Hotel quarters who comes in after you leave to tidy up, until she finds a glass sex toy half-hidden behind one of the pillows on your complimentary couch


How do you know my dildo is glass?
Who are you?
 
2022-07-07 5:37:34 PM  

azn_firebug: I also enjoy getting a Slurpee and drowning it with rum. I'm pretty sure that's why the Slurpee was invented.


Lime Slurpee with Tequila!
 
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