Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Food and Wine)   1) It's not a farkin' merlot   (foodandwine.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Wine, Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Napa Valley, name of a grape variety, Great Cabs, higher levels of tannin, growing season  
•       •       •

569 clicks; posted to Food » on 06 Jul 2022 at 10:05 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



26 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-07-06 9:20:59 AM  
There is nothing, it seems, that Cabernet Sauvignon is incapable of.

That's right. There is nothing. It is a grape that is capable of anything, anything at all. Hyperbole is the best writing device of all time, and should be used everywhere for everything.
 
2022-07-06 9:31:36 AM  

Pocket Ninja: There is nothing, it seems, that Cabernet Sauvignon is incapable of.

That's right. There is nothing. It is a grape that is capable of anything, anything at all. Hyperbole is the best writing device of all time, and should be used everywhere for everything.


It is capable of time travel, I know that.  I drank three bottles of cab once and was suddenly transported 18 hours into the future, where someone threw up all over my bathroom.
 
2022-07-06 10:06:01 AM  
i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-06 10:08:46 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Pocket Ninja: There is nothing, it seems, that Cabernet Sauvignon is incapable of.

That's right. There is nothing. It is a grape that is capable of anything, anything at all. Hyperbole is the best writing device of all time, and should be used everywhere for everything.

It is capable of time travel, I know that.  I drank three bottles of cab once and was suddenly transported 18 hours into the future, where someone threw up all over my bathroom.


Did you ever find the phantom vomiter?
 
2022-07-06 10:23:55 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Pocket Ninja: There is nothing, it seems, that Cabernet Sauvignon is incapable of.

That's right. There is nothing. It is a grape that is capable of anything, anything at all. Hyperbole is the best writing device of all time, and should be used everywhere for everything.

It is capable of time travel, I know that.  I drank three bottles of cab once and was suddenly transported 18 hours into the future, where someone threw up all over my bathroom.


Username checks.
 
2022-07-06 10:24:11 AM  
Chateau Ste. Michelle Cabernet Sauvignon

That's probably the best "bang for your buck" in the list.  Generally what labels you will find locally are Columbia Valley, Indian Wells and Canoe Ridge.  You *may* see some Cold Creek.  Purchase the Indian Wells label for a good price for great wine - it should be around $12-$14 on the shelf.  Canoe Ridge is about $25 and distinctly better - For comparison, it is half the price of Austin Hope (a popular $50+ Napa cabernet) which *is* a better wine but you can't taste the $25+ difference.
 
2022-07-06 10:40:08 AM  
I love a good merlot, tbh.
 
2022-07-06 10:40:20 AM  
What I wonder, though, is whether it is the backbone of anything. The writer only uses that word three times, so I can't be sure.
 
2022-07-06 10:53:44 AM  
TIL the word "terroir". It means soil.

Apparently there is an entire vocabulary that allows people to talk about wine that possibly even conveys information. Help me out here: what is meant when referring to a wine's "generosity"?
 
2022-07-06 11:05:56 AM  

make me some tea: I love a good merlot, tbh.


I like the movie Sideways, but it made too many people think that Merlot is awful instead of just a metaphor for the main character's life.
 
2022-07-06 11:08:32 AM  

red5ish: Help me out here: what is meant when referring to a wine's "generosity"?


It's a really dumb way of saying that a wine is full-bodied, a term that in and of itself means vastly different things to different people. So really, it's just a dumb term that people throw around to sound like they've got a grip on lingo.
 
2022-07-06 11:14:36 AM  

Pocket Ninja: red5ish: Help me out here: what is meant when referring to a wine's "generosity"?

It's a really dumb way of saying that a wine is full-bodied, a term that in and of itself means vastly different things to different people. So really, it's just a dumb term that people throw around to sound like they've got a grip on lingo.


I'm terrible at wine descriptions.  I always say that they taste of t"hat one time I went to Chuck-E-Cheese and Jimmy's dad burped at the table so heinously that the stench made us all laugh."

"You mean 'notes of pepper and tobacco'?"

"Yeah.. that."
 
2022-07-06 11:19:48 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: make me some tea: I love a good merlot, tbh.

I like the movie Sideways, but it made too many people think that Merlot is awful instead of just a metaphor for the main character's life.


More merlot for me, I always say.
 
2022-07-06 11:21:04 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I always say that they taste of t"hat one time I went to Chuck-E-Cheese and Jimmy's dad burped at the table so heinously that the stench made us all laugh."


I've been to wineries that couch their vintage descriptions using exactly that sort of approach. Not specifically to the point of referencing Jimmy's dad's Chuck-E-Cheese burps, but along those same sorts of lines. When it's done well, it works. When it's not, well, it's like bad stand-up.
 
2022-07-06 11:29:30 AM  

Pocket Ninja: red5ish: Help me out here: what is meant when referring to a wine's "generosity"?

It's a really dumb way of saying that a wine is full-bodied, a term that in and of itself means vastly different things to different people. So really, it's just a dumb term that people throw around to sound like they've got a grip on lingo.


Aficionados talk about cigars using similar mysterious/pretentious terminology.
 
2022-07-06 11:33:07 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: make me some tea: I love a good merlot, tbh.

I like the movie Sideways, but it made too many people think that Merlot is awful instead of just a metaphor for the main character's life.


The merlot thing was a little more complicated than that but was more of a 2-part in-joke for sophisticated winos than a metaphor.  The first part of it was a commentary on merlot becoming the bougie wine of choice starting in the mid-90s which led to a whole bunch of awful fruit-bomb merlot hitting the market.  The second part was that the super special wine he spends the whole movie ranting about is a right-bank Bordeaux, which is to say "mostly Merlot".
 
2022-07-06 11:43:36 AM  
bougie wine of choice starting in the mid-90s which led to a whole bunch of awful fruit-bomb merlot hitting the market.

That is entirely the responsibility and unforgivable fault of Robert Parker, whose assigned level of hell will hopefully have nothing but cheap supermarket Zinfandel available to drink.
 
2022-07-06 11:44:56 AM  

OptionC: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: make me some tea: I love a good merlot, tbh.

I like the movie Sideways, but it made too many people think that Merlot is awful instead of just a metaphor for the main character's life.

The merlot thing was a little more complicated than that but was more of a 2-part in-joke for sophisticated winos than a metaphor.  The first part of it was a commentary on merlot becoming the bougie wine of choice starting in the mid-90s which led to a whole bunch of awful fruit-bomb merlot hitting the market.  The second part was that the super special wine he spends the whole movie ranting about is a right-bank Bordeaux, which is to say "mostly Merlot".


The metaphor as I see it, is that he sees his life as this beautifully misunderstood and unappreciated pinot noir, when in reality he's just another f*cking merlot.  

Ah, the subtle complexity of wine jokes.
 
2022-07-06 1:48:25 PM  
Not a fan of either cabernet or merlot. I tend to lean towards the Spanish and Italian reds although I recently got a case of a wonderful pinot noir from Macedonia.
 
2022-07-06 3:12:19 PM  

OptionC: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: make me some tea: I love a good merlot, tbh.

I like the movie Sideways, but it made too many people think that Merlot is awful instead of just a metaphor for the main character's life.

The merlot thing was a little more complicated than that but was more of a 2-part in-joke for sophisticated winos than a metaphor.  The first part of it was a commentary on merlot becoming the bougie wine of choice starting in the mid-90s which led to a whole bunch of awful fruit-bomb merlot hitting the market.  The second part was that the super special wine he spends the whole movie ranting about is a right-bank Bordeaux, which is to say "mostly Merlot".


That's a cool little analysis. I also assumed his character would think merlot is suitable as a blending grape, but shouldn't be vinified on its own.
 
2022-07-06 4:18:20 PM  
Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen were so freaking attractive in that movie.

The guys (characters) got everything they deserved by the end of that movie for the way they acted.

/definitely good movie
//the commentary with Giamatti and Church is good too
///3
 
2022-07-06 5:04:53 PM  
A labelled single varietal wine can have up to 25 percent of other varietals added with needing to be explicitly labelled as a blend. Most bottles of cab sold for under $30 contain at least 20% merlot.
 
2022-07-06 8:23:34 PM  
Where is this "Napa Valley" you speak of?

Its higher levels of tannin and its ability to express oak aging make it a perfect accompaniment to meat

But seriously whenever the wife and I try something overpriced/pretentious/nuvo riche one of us inevitably one of us will nod sagely and say "...a hint of oak", or "...I taste the blackberries" or something of the sort. This is regardless what the food or drink is... salad, coffee, bread... it's all fair game.

I live in wine country, so it makes sense.
 
2022-07-06 8:57:17 PM  

Percise1: Where is this "Napa Valley" you speak of?

Its higher levels of tannin and its ability to express oak aging make it a perfect accompaniment to meat

But seriously whenever the wife and I try something overpriced/pretentious/nuvo riche one of us inevitably one of us will nod sagely and say "...a hint of oak", or "...I taste the blackberries" or something of the sort. This is regardless what the food or drink is... salad, coffee, bread... it's all fair game.

I live in wine country, so it makes sense.


You're a goof, st. b 🤣

Miss you 🤗
 
2022-07-06 10:20:25 PM  

UberDave: Chateau Ste. Michelle Cabernet Sauvignon

That's probably the best "bang for your buck" in the list.  Generally what labels you will find locally are Columbia Valley, Indian Wells and Canoe Ridge.  You *may* see some Cold Creek.  Purchase the Indian Wells label for a good price for great wine - it should be around $12-$14 on the shelf.  Canoe Ridge is about $25 and distinctly better - For comparison, it is half the price of Austin Hope (a popular $50+ Napa cabernet) which *is* a better wine but you can't taste the $25+ difference.


Just poured a glass of Michelle!
 
2022-07-07 12:18:24 AM  
Back in the 90s my xgf worked the enology lab at beringer, and got to bring home some of the sample bottles from the days' work, what a perk...also got to climb the catwalk to sample from tanks of 40k gallons of fermenting chard and cab. Those things vibrate like a locomotive. Driving down highway 12 very early in the morning, all the co2 hugging the ground makes you gasp for air...
 
Displayed 26 of 26 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.