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(CNN)   Subway redesigns itself with new menus, less pedophilia   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Beef, Subway's new menu, Meat, System-wide sales, New York City, Pork, refreshed menu board, Subway Series  
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999 clicks; posted to Business » on 06 Jul 2022 at 1:30 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-07-05 9:38:14 PM  
Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.
 
2022-07-05 9:47:04 PM  

Thoreny: Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.


Exactly. I can get a better sandwich at JJs, Jersey Mike's or Firehouse which are also cleaner and better managed.
 
2022-07-05 9:50:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 9:57:30 PM  
Subway bread, now less than 30% sawdust!
 
2022-07-05 10:36:11 PM  

Beerguy: Thoreny: Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.

Exactly. I can get a better sandwich at JJs, Jersey Mike's or Firehouse which are also cleaner and better managed.


I like Dibella's.  Went there once and never looked back.
 
2022-07-05 10:48:14 PM  
Will their offerings still be about 65% "bread?"
 
2022-07-05 11:40:28 PM  

teto85: Will their offerings still be about 65% "bread?"


If we're lucky.
 
2022-07-06 12:33:05 AM  
They should bring back Happy Gilmore as a spokesman.
 
2022-07-06 12:59:22 AM  
LONDON -- Ireland's Supreme Court has issued a ruling declaring that for the purposes of tax law, the bread served in Subway's hot sandwiches does not actually meet the legal definition of "bread" because of its sugar content and is rather a "confectionary or fancy baked good."

ABC News
October 01, 2020, 2:56 AM
 
2022-07-06 1:27:33 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-06 1:54:43 AM  
I can get a waaaaaay better sub from Sheetz for about the same price, and they also have a much larger menu as opposed to being almost entirely subs. Subway does one thing and does it poorly. I don't know what it is about Subway's crap, but it always just... tastes off. It's not an issue I have with any other sandwich place.
 
2022-07-06 2:53:06 AM  
How did I know every post that was going to be in this thread before I opened it?

/get new material!
 
2022-07-06 3:32:14 AM  
I prefer the pastrami I can get at Firehouse. It's situated just inconveniently enough that it makes me want to get booze as well. And I need to not do that.

Swear to golly if you can find me any place that has pastrami for order online near me I will .... thank you.
 
2022-07-06 4:01:32 AM  
Probably still more pedophilia in their tuna sandwiches than tuna.
 
2022-07-06 4:10:29 AM  

Beerguy: Thoreny: Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.

Exactly. I can get a better sandwich at JJs, Jersey Mike's or Firehouse which are also cleaner and better managed.


I have to say I found Jersey Mike's to be extremely bland, but it was better quality meat  in terms of processing, if that is all one cares about.

Firehouse I liked, but my usual lunch partners refuse to go there ever since their hot sauce bar stopped being consistently stocked.
 
2022-07-06 4:19:42 AM  

kermit the forg: Beerguy: Thoreny: Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.

Exactly. I can get a better sandwich at JJs, Jersey Mike's or Firehouse which are also cleaner and better managed.

I like Dibella's.  Went there once and never looked back.


Dave's Hoagies was the best sub shop in the tri state area ever. After it closed down its like I'm eating ashes
 
2022-07-06 4:42:31 AM  

Beerguy: Thoreny: Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.

Exactly. I can get a better sandwich at JJs, Jersey Mike's or Firehouse which are also cleaner and better managed.


I would argue with JJ's...but I can't deny Jersey Mike's, Firehouse, or Penn Station if you're in the Great Lakes region...
 
2022-07-06 5:50:13 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: How did I know every post that was going to be in this thread before I opened it?

/get new material!


Subway isn't going to sleep with you.
 
2022-07-06 6:24:39 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: kermit the forg: Beerguy: Thoreny: Keep on with putting new lipstick on the pig instead of getting a new pig.

Exactly. I can get a better sandwich at JJs, Jersey Mike's or Firehouse which are also cleaner and better managed.

I like Dibella's.  Went there once and never looked back.

Dave's Hoagies was the best sub shop in the tri state area ever. After it closed down its like I'm eating ashes


y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2022-07-06 6:48:19 AM  
Fark Subway, I'm a NJM man.
 
2022-07-06 7:09:43 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-06 8:03:55 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: How did I know every post that was going to be in this thread before I opened it?

/get new material!


We will get new material when Subway gets new food suppliers.

And considering all their bread was made in 2004, I don't feel a need to praise subway to doing a premade menu switcharoo.
 
2022-07-06 8:14:09 AM  
what's good at jersey mike's.   one just opened near me
 
2022-07-06 8:23:46 AM  
AppleOptionEsc:  And considering all their bread was made in 2004, I don't feel a need to praise subway to doing a premade menu switcharoo.

To be fair, yoga mats typically last for years before they go bad.
 
2022-07-06 8:26:16 AM  
Problem: Too many options and customers take too long ordering.
Solution: Meatball subs are now called "The Boss" when ordering, instead of a "meatball sub".

There, that should solve the confusion.
 
2022-07-06 8:34:32 AM  
Subway is low-grade dog food.

/ my dog won't even eat it
 
2022-07-06 8:37:08 AM  
There's a subway in the food court of the building where I work. I hate walking past the place around lunchtime. My brain always has this pavlovian reaction of "oohh fresh baked bread" followed a second later by it recoiling in horror at the weird chemical undertone their bread smell has.
 
2022-07-06 8:52:33 AM  

NeoCortex42: Problem: Too many options and customers take too long ordering.
Solution: Meatball subs are now called "The Boss" when ordering, instead of a "meatball sub".

There, that should solve the confusion.


what some people like about subway, I find annoying.

Me: Ham and swiss on white bread, please
artist: what bread?
Me: white?
artist: what meat?
Me: Ham?
artist: type of cheese
Me: Swiss?
repeat for every topping down the line.
 
2022-07-06 9:00:44 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: How did I know every post that was going to be in this thread before I opened it?

/get new material!


It's a thread about subway, the most tired ennui inducing meal on earth.
Subway: we put as much effort into our sandwiches as your jokes.
Subway: eat fresh! Our motto is your warning!
Subway: bringing the taste and feel of a death row meal to every diner since 1976!
Subway: here to remind you of the good times you've had at Taco Bell.

You're being slowly digested by an amoral, unfeeling universe, that won't recognize or remember your existence thirty seconds after it's done with you. Eating a subway sandwich is the closest you can get to feeling like the universe that pulled us, unwillingly, from the void. Subway let's us all connect to the deep well of meaningless entropy that is the bedrock of existence.
 
2022-07-06 9:12:02 AM  
How is subway still in business? How desperate do you have to be to buy a sub there? I mean it's just crap and everyone knows it. Is there anyone who actually likes their food or is it just the best worst option when you're in a jam?
 
2022-07-06 9:25:04 AM  

Jake Havechek: [Fark user image image 425x240]


The only thing missing in that advertisement is a half hearted attempt at being culturally inclusive by putting a turban on his head so he looks middle eastern.
 
2022-07-06 9:30:00 AM  

wax_on: How is subway still in business? How desperate do you have to be to buy a sub there? I mean it's just crap and everyone knows it. Is there anyone who actually likes their food or is it just the best worst option when you're in a jam?


It is widely available, and generally predictable. You can buy a footlong and get two meals out of it if you want. If you top it intelligently, you can eat it while driving. A vegetarian option is straightforward to request.
Not every meal can or needs to be a culinary delight. When I'm in the middle of nowhere while traveling, I don't have time to find the best local sandwich joint. The Subway next to the gas station is adequate and will get me to my next stop.
 
2022-07-06 9:46:11 AM  

The_Sponge: [Fark user image 304x268]


I already love this meme.
 
2022-07-06 9:53:48 AM  
if my options are McDonald's, taco bell and subway, id go with subway and then get as far the hell away from wherever i was as quickly as possible
 
2022-07-06 10:12:38 AM  
Meh, If I want a cheap, very mediocre hoagie, we have these.
billypenn.comView Full Size


/Most of the Subway's have closed down over the years, besides the ones inside Walmart.
/Jersey Mike's is good too but expensive AF.
 
2022-07-06 10:41:21 AM  
I don't care. Subway's executives knew for years that Jared Fogle was molesting kids, and may have actually facilitated Jared's actions.

A "refreshed menu board" means nothing to me, Subway. A new slogan doesn't undo what you did.

I'll see Subway in the cold ground before I willingly eat there again.
 
2022-07-06 11:09:10 AM  
ltdanman44:

Mike's has a mean cheesesteak. And the cold sandwiches "Mike's Way" are great too. Basically the same as subway, minus the crap bread, crap meat, crap toppings, and apathy. It's completely different, I guess.

Go to Jersey Mike's, order anything, tell them no salt or seasoning, and get your ingredients from your own fridge at home, and somehow let your fresh bread go stale, then stick it in a hobos armpit. That's the difference.
 
2022-07-06 11:09:44 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-06 11:32:47 AM  

Oreamnos: wax_on: How is subway still in business? How desperate do you have to be to buy a sub there? I mean it's just crap and everyone knows it. Is there anyone who actually likes their food or is it just the best worst option when you're in a jam?

It is widely available, and generally predictable. You can buy a footlong and get two meals out of it if you want. If you top it intelligently, you can eat it while driving. A vegetarian option is straightforward to request.
Not every meal can or needs to be a culinary delight. When I'm in the middle of nowhere while traveling, I don't have time to find the best local sandwich joint. The Subway next to the gas station is adequate and will get me to my next stop.


Sounds like you're describing the best worst option. I guess that's all you need to be in order to stay in business.  Sad.
 
2022-07-06 12:32:47 PM  

NeoCortex42: Problem: Too many options and customers take too long ordering.
Solution: Meatball subs are now called "The Boss" when ordering, instead of a "meatball sub".

There, that should solve the confusion.


I got one of those yesterday. It's not even quite the same. It has lots of pepperoni in it.
 
2022-07-06 12:36:01 PM  

Fireproof: NeoCortex42: Problem: Too many options and customers take too long ordering.
Solution: Meatball subs are now called "The Boss" when ordering, instead of a "meatball sub".

There, that should solve the confusion.

I got one of those yesterday. It's not even quite the same. It has lots of pepperoni in it.


The irony of a corporation that quietly backed a kiddie-diddling spokesperson pushing a sandwich that can only be advertised with the help of something like a "I ATE THE BOSS!" T-shirt...

SMFH.
 
2022-07-06 12:38:36 PM  
Seriously, who looked at their menu and said, "Y'know, we should give our sandwiches names that are easier to remember, so we can make slogans like 'Only at Subway can you eat all twelve inches of The Boss!'" with a straight face?

I gotta know what their other sandwich names are, now...
 
2022-07-06 12:42:31 PM  
Cheesesteaks
 The Philly
 The Outlaw
 The Monster
Italianos
 Supreme Meats
 Bella Mozza
 The Boss
Chicken
 The Mexicali
 The Great Garlic
 The Champ
Clubs
 All American Club
 Supreme Club
 Turkey Cali Club

"Well, I went to Subway, and while my wife chowed down on a six-inch Champ, I had a foot-long Monster and made my kid eat The Boss."

I'm gonna go away now.
 
2022-07-06 1:38:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

 
2022-07-06 1:42:46 PM  

FormlessOne: I don't care. Subway's executives knew for years that Jared Fogle was molesting kids, and may have actually facilitated Jared's actions.


I didn't realize that Subway's executives were also officers at Penn State...
 
2022-07-06 2:36:07 PM  
This is a little long at 10 minutes, but a hilarious takedown of Subway... just ignore the creepy screencap; it's a Jim Gaffigan standup bit.

"SUBWAY - Eat Fresh??" - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Mr.Universe)
Youtube G2bp_CYJbyw
 
2022-07-06 4:02:27 PM  

MBZ321: Meh, If I want a cheap, very mediocre hoagie, we have these. [billypenn.com image 216x144]

/Most of the Subway's have closed down over the years, besides the ones inside Walmart.
/Jersey Mike's is good too but expensive AF.


'Wa-wa!' is the way Cree/Métis people wolf whistle, so I'm getting a kick out of that name.
 
2022-07-06 6:42:49 PM  
There's a Subway, JJ''s, Jersey Mikes and Milio's all equidistant from home, with a Firehouse and uhh, one of the other ones just a little further away.

JJ's is generally my go to as I know someone who works there, and they can attest to the cleanliness. (Plus, free food now and then - try the new summer thai wrap it's delicious!)

I found absolutely nothing special about Jersey Mikes...it was fine.

When it comes to Subway, I'm more likely going to stop there when traveling (by car) to get a flatbread with turkey and all of the veggies vs going toMcDonalds, so Subway gets a pass for me in those situations.
 
2022-07-06 10:25:55 PM  

trerro: I can get a waaaaaay better sub from Sheetz for about the same price, and they also have a much larger menu as opposed to being almost entirely subs. Subway does one thing and does it poorly. I don't know what it is about Subway's crap, but it always just... tastes off. It's not an issue I have with any other sandwich place.


Sheetz uses the same gym mats subway does for its bread.  Granted Sheetz puts 3 slices of meat on their subs but they charge extra for cheese.
 
2022-07-07 12:12:10 AM  
There is a Cheba Hut five minutes from my place, so Subway is completely out of luck here.
 
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