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(Yahoo)   17-year-old former cheerleader and tennis player to lose leg after shark attack, which is also horrible even when you're not a former cheerleader and tennis player. Bonus: She punched the shark   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
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3290 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2022 at 5:20 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



55 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-07-05 4:59:56 PM  
That sucks. :(

I'll just say that anyone who can retain enough focus to punch a farking shark while it's eating your leg deserves massive props. I'd bet that most people would just go into shock and pass out.
 
2022-07-05 5:10:36 PM  
Ian Edwards - Shark Attack: Part 1
Youtube vDneu8wKPVs


/shark attack time!
 
2022-07-05 5:22:43 PM  

bostonguy: That sucks. :(

I'll just say that anyone who can retain enough focus to punch a farking shark while it's eating your leg deserves massive props. I'd bet that most people would just go into shock and pass out.


Shark edition:

scrolldroll.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 5:22:56 PM  
The life aquatic with Steve Zissou - Questions
Youtube uM-BE3p9TUI
 
2022-07-05 5:24:18 PM  
She punched the shark, but the shark won.
 
2022-07-05 5:24:44 PM  
Dun dun
 
2022-07-05 5:25:24 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 5:25:30 PM  
A
 
2022-07-05 5:29:12 PM  
she punched the shark

Is that a metaphor?
 
2022-07-05 5:29:49 PM  
Also:

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/oblig
 
2022-07-05 5:30:40 PM  
Every shark has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

/still works
 
2022-07-05 5:31:02 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: She punched the shark, but the shark won.


She lives. She will adapt. My friends daughter did , but her amputation was to try and stop the cancer. It didn't work. She had an upcoming full ride at Stanford.
 
2022-07-05 5:34:18 PM  
Look, if she goes around punching sharks, she can expect to get bitten once in a while!
 
2022-07-05 5:37:02 PM  
Knock at the door
Through the door: Special delivery
Resident: You're that clever shark aren't you?
Through the door: No ma'am.  I'm a dolphin.
Resident opens door
Chomp chomp chomp
 
2022-07-05 5:37:58 PM  
Somebody bought her a shark plushie. Nice!

gannett-cdn.comView Full Size


/ I assume the dude brought it
// I have zero evidence to support that assumption
/// SHARK PLUSHIES!!
 
2022-07-05 5:40:40 PM  
Well, it won't hurt her dating chances even a little and she'll get free drinks for life. Could be worse. Excuse me while I go make a chum sock.
 
2022-07-05 5:41:16 PM  
Bethany Hamilton has entered the chat.

/is her name now Eileen?
 
2022-07-05 5:43:46 PM  
Lemon shark, very pretty
But the jaws are big and strong
If you try to punch the lemon
You'll get bit, bleed out 'fore long.

/admit it, you haven't had a P,P&M ear-worm in a while
//you're welcome
///one slash for each of them
 
2022-07-05 5:48:21 PM  
guess she should have kicked it

/I'll see myself out
 
2022-07-05 5:49:54 PM  
Dibs on the leg....next year,I'm not a weirdo
 
2022-07-05 5:50:07 PM  

drewogatory: Well, it won't hurt her dating chances even a little and she'll get free drinks for life. Could be worse. Excuse me while I go make a chum sock.


I would think the dating pool of people who are into stumpy porn is pretty small.

//Who am I kidding?
 
2022-07-05 5:54:19 PM  

JustHereForThePics: drewogatory: Well, it won't hurt her dating chances even a little and she'll get free drinks for life. Could be worse. Excuse me while I go make a chum sock.

I would think the dating pool of people who are into stumpy porn is pretty small.

//Who am I kidding?


It's a short list
 
2022-07-05 5:55:22 PM  
Did she actually lose the leg, or was it just removed from her body? Maybe it's in a big jar or something.
 
2022-07-05 5:56:23 PM  

JustHereForThePics: drewogatory: Well, it won't hurt her dating chances even a little and she'll get free drinks for life. Could be worse. Excuse me while I go make a chum sock.

I would think the dating pool of people who are into stumpy porn is pretty small.

//Who am I kidding?


It averages out the appendages vs those of us who have abnormally large, or multiple, wangs.
 
2022-07-05 5:58:34 PM  

JustHereForThePics: drewogatory: Well, it won't hurt her dating chances even a little and she'll get free drinks for life. Could be worse. Excuse me while I go make a chum sock.

I would think the dating pool of people who are into stumpy porn is pretty small.

//Who am I kidding?


Sadly (or not depending on your perspective), too many men judge a woman based solely on what she looks like from the thighs up.  When I was in college there was a sorority girl who lived in my dorm, who'd lost her leg from the hip down due to cancer, and couldn't use a prosthetic because there was nowhere to attach it.  She used crutches to get around.  She was also brilliant, funny, and gorgeous, so she had her pick of guys.

I suspect the young lady in the article will do just fine.  What guy wouldn't want to get with a girl who has experience beating off a 9 foot shark?
 
2022-07-05 6:01:31 PM  

Nobody in Peculiar: Somebody bought her a shark plushie. Nice!

[gannett-cdn.com image 300x400]

/ I assume the dude brought it
// I have zero evidence to support that assumption
/// SHARK PLUSHIES!!


Several years ago I was hit by a bus. At my office I have a remote control bus and a sign on my desk  that says, "The bus stops here."
 
2022-07-05 6:07:58 PM  
which is also horrible even when you're not a former cheerleader and tennis player

Yeah, but everyone knows that it's not as horrible when bad things happen to people who are old, ugly, or have the fatness.
 
2022-07-05 6:11:10 PM  

Warthog: I suspect the young lady in the article will do just fine.  What guy wouldn't want to get with a girl who has experience beating off a 9 foot shark?


I'm stumped.
 
2022-07-05 6:21:43 PM  

weirdneighbour: Dibs on the leg....next year,I'm not a weirdo


Oh and are we supposed to believe you're also not a neighbour!?
 
2022-07-05 6:27:47 PM  
Why is that a bonus? Who doesn't punch the shark?

/ not a euphemism
 
2022-07-05 6:32:21 PM  

Another Government Employee: Dun dun


doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo
 
2022-07-05 6:37:04 PM  
The shark was just trying to

BE! AGGRESSIVE!
Bee-Eee  AGGRESSIVE!

B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E

BE! AGGRESSIVE!
 
2022-07-05 6:42:15 PM  
Former cheerleader and tennis player, and bicycle rider, and hopscotch player and..........
 
2022-07-05 7:02:37 PM  
 
2022-07-05 7:27:34 PM  
I've done a lot of stupid boyfriend shiat, but buying her a plush shark while she's waiting to have her leg amputated is not one of those things.
 
2022-07-05 7:34:32 PM  

NathanAllen: I've done a lot of stupid boyfriend shiat, but buying her a plush shark while she's waiting to have her leg amputated is not one of those things.


The only thing wrong with that plush shark is it's too small. If this had happened to me at 17 my friends would have made that room look like the set of Jaws, probably including hiding under the bed and playing the theme in the middle of the night.
 
2022-07-05 7:46:26 PM  

NathanAllen: I've done a lot of stupid boyfriend shiat, but buying her a plush shark while she's waiting to have her leg amputated is not one of those things.


The dude next to her is her brother.  A brother would do exactly that kind of thing.
 
2022-07-05 7:56:14 PM  
0-i2--prod-mylondon-news-0.cdn.ampproject.orgView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 8:09:20 PM  

drewogatory: NathanAllen: I've done a lot of stupid boyfriend shiat, but buying her a plush shark while she's waiting to have her leg amputated is not one of those things.

The only thing wrong with that plush shark is it's too small. If this had happened to me at 17 my friends would have made that room look like the set of Jaws, probably including hiding under the bed and playing the theme in the middle of the night.


My friends would do that to me now, and I'm 46.

/if they didn't, I'd reevaluate our friendship
 
2022-07-05 8:24:38 PM  
A GoFundMe titled "Medical Expenses for Addison Bethea, Shark Attack" was created Saturday and, as of Tuesday morning, has just over $26,000.

Well, that will pay for her hospital meals.
 
2022-07-05 8:28:53 PM  

KingKauff: drewogatory: NathanAllen: I've done a lot of stupid boyfriend shiat, but buying her a plush shark while she's waiting to have her leg amputated is not one of those things.

The only thing wrong with that plush shark is it's too small. If this had happened to me at 17 my friends would have made that room look like the set of Jaws, probably including hiding under the bed and playing the theme in the middle of the night.

My friends would do that to me now, and I'm 46.

/if they didn't, I'd reevaluate our friendship


Yeah, well, good for you on not alienating everyone that gave a shiat.
 
2022-07-05 8:39:21 PM  

alienated: drjekel_mrhyde: She punched the shark, but the shark won.

She lives. She will adapt. My friends daughter did , but her amputation was to try and stop the cancer. It didn't work. She had an upcoming full ride at Stanford.


I know that. Today the Walmart grocery delivery guy had one damn arm, I was damn near shocked so I gave a cash tip alone with the tip my daughter gave him through the app.
 
2022-07-05 8:40:43 PM  

Warthog: NathanAllen: I've done a lot of stupid boyfriend shiat, but buying her a plush shark while she's waiting to have her leg amputated is not one of those things.

The dude next to her is her brother.  A brother would do exactly that kind of thing.


SoThatsHowItIs.jpg
 
2022-07-05 9:12:45 PM  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 9:48:30 PM  

GardenWeasel: A GoFundMe titled "Medical Expenses for Addison Bethea, Shark Attack" was created Saturday and, as of Tuesday morning, has just over $26,000.

Well, that will pay for her hospital meals.


It's what you get for living in a developed nation with the general medical availability of a small African dictatorship.
 
2022-07-05 9:59:09 PM  
"I went scuba diving, and the instructor goes: 'you know what you're supposed to do if a shark is bothering you?' - Wait, 'bothering'? It's not like he's going 'hey man, can I borrow 50 cents?'

"Anyway, he said you're supposed to punch 'em in the nose. Yeah, and when that doesn't work, you poke 'em in the eye with your stump."

-- Robert Schimmel (RIP)
 
2022-07-05 11:21:47 PM  

Nobody in Peculiar: Somebody bought her a shark plushie. Nice!

[gannett-cdn.com image 300x400]

/ I assume the dude brought it
// I have zero evidence to support that assumption
/// SHARK PLUSHIES!!


That is prolly her brother... who, after SHE punched the shark and poked it in the eyes, came in and got the shark off of his sister.

That was hard core.
 
2022-07-05 11:42:47 PM  

Dictatorial_Flair: Did she actually lose the leg, or was it just removed from her body? Maybe it's in a big jar or something.


cdn.vox-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-06 1:12:10 AM  

Dictatorial_Flair: Did she actually lose the leg, or was it just removed from her body? Maybe it's in a big jar or something.


Sounds like recipee for Greg Larson cartoon: shark with black eye by jar with leg saying "it was worth it"
 
2022-07-06 2:58:20 AM  
Once she recovers and does rehab with a prosthesis, she can still play tennis, possibly even do cheerleading.
 
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