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(Slate)   Today's Slatesplanation: A deep, penetrating analysis on whether or not a Hulk can have sex   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Hulk, She-Hulk, Marvel Comics, Avengers, Stan Lee, John Byrne, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man  
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994 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 05 Jul 2022 at 9:50 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



81 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-07-05 9:51:17 AM  
Banner boinked Jennifer.

The results were what you'd expect.
 
2022-07-05 9:58:01 AM  

PartTimeBuddha: Banner boinked Jennifer.

The results were what you'd expect.


Kissing Cousins eh?
 
2022-07-05 10:00:25 AM  
Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.
 
2022-07-05 10:02:22 AM  

Nimbull: PartTimeBuddha: Banner boinked Jennifer.

The results were what you'd expect.

Kissing Cousins eh?


Yessir'ee.
 
2022-07-05 10:02:28 AM  

theflinx: Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.


Essay, book. Meh, same thing.
 
2022-07-05 10:04:13 AM  
Why not just call Brodie and ask him?

He's probably still wandering around that mall in Minnesota with a dixie cup full of soda
 
2022-07-05 10:05:00 AM  
You wouldn't like him when he's horny...
 
2022-07-05 10:09:44 AM  
To be fair, it's one of the most intelligent and insightful articles that have ever appeared on Slate.
 
2022-07-05 10:15:53 AM  
[thegif.gif] answers this.
 
2022-07-05 10:26:11 AM  
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2022-07-05 10:34:31 AM  
Oh lord . . . butt stuff.  And I do mean stuff.
 
2022-07-05 10:35:02 AM  
myconfinedspace.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 10:36:36 AM  
I guess technically Blue Hulk has blue balls. So maybe he could try.
 
2022-07-05 10:40:52 AM  
TL;DR
 
2022-07-05 10:41:01 AM  

Robinfro: [thegif.gif] answers this.


And we're done here I guess.
 
2022-07-05 10:51:24 AM  
I bet it looks a little like this:

media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 10:54:59 AM  
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Wouldn't the steroids have shrunken his .... Well, you know?
 
2022-07-05 10:56:40 AM  
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2022-07-05 10:56:47 AM  
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2022-07-05 11:03:42 AM  
Banner's peen doesn't actually get any bigger when he turns into the Hulk, however he's hung like an infant. 22" long, 7 lbs 9 oz, with a 13" circumference head. . .
 
2022-07-05 11:10:16 AM  
Hulk smash.
 
2022-07-05 11:17:20 AM  
Scene in the unrated version of "Hancock" (Wil Smif) dips into that, where he takes a woman back to his trailer and she wants to climb the pole while he's warning her that it could kill her. She does anyway and he has to push her off him just as a hole is punched right through the roof of the single-wide.

She grabs her clothes and runs screaming.
 
2022-07-05 11:20:02 AM  

theflinx: Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.


Came to say the same, but for some reason my brain was saying Asimov, and that just didn't feel right. haha
 
2022-07-05 11:24:56 AM  

theflinx: Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.


Which was bullshait. The author used human physical suppositions on an individual who is not human.Superman can fly, has x-ray vision, and can run faster than a speeding bullet. It's overwhelmingly obvious that his body just doesn't react to stimuli like a human and it's overwhelmingly obvious that his control over stimuli it isn't the same as a human.  The book/essay/whatever was dumb.
 
2022-07-05 11:28:28 AM  

theflinx: Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.


Yes, TFA references it in the first paragraph.
 
2022-07-05 11:30:17 AM  

Pocket Ninja: theflinx: Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.

Essay, book. Meh, same thing.


I do wonder how you would stretch that into book length. You'd have to go into some detail about the erotic adventurers of Superman.
 
2022-07-05 11:36:16 AM  
The man can definitely...'smash' (video skips to relevant part, but if not, go to ~5:08):

Hulk VS Broly (Marvel VS Dragon Ball) | DEATH BATTLE!
Youtube ZyJoRqW9fbU
 
2022-07-05 11:45:59 AM  

browneye: theflinx: Larry Niven wrote a book called "Man of steel woman of kleenex" about the ramifications of superman having sex.

Which was bullshait. The author used human physical suppositions on an individual who is not human.Superman can fly, has x-ray vision, and can run faster than a speeding bullet. It's overwhelmingly obvious that his body just doesn't react to stimuli like a human and it's overwhelmingly obvious that his control over stimuli it isn't the same as a human.  The book/essay/whatever was dumb.


Exactly. If he didn't have total control of his body he wouldn't be able to leave the house without destroying something or somebody.
 
2022-07-05 11:48:15 AM  

MechaPyx: [Fark user image 640x426] [View Full Size image _x_]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 11:51:55 AM  

browneye: Which was bullshait. The author used human physical suppositions on an individual who is not human.Superman can fly, has x-ray vision, and can run faster than a speeding bullet. It's overwhelmingly obvious that his body just doesn't react to stimuli like a human and it's overwhelmingly obvious that his control over stimuli it isn't the same as a human.  The book/essay/whatever was dumb.


Interesting. Because a good portion of the essay is spent discussing just that, and then talking about the finer details of sex between them, such as what happens when millions of super sperm are deposited in Lois Lane's body. But I'm sure you're very familiar with the entire piece and considered that.
 
2022-07-05 12:01:44 PM  

kryptoknightmare: [Fark user image image 425x229]


I came here for that....

/Leaving satisfied.
 
2022-07-05 12:02:34 PM  
Hulk Smash
 
2022-07-05 12:06:00 PM  

MechaPyx: [Fark user image 640x426] [View Full Size image _x_]


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2022-07-05 12:25:01 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size

Oh yes he can
 
2022-07-05 12:32:09 PM  

MechaPyx: [Fark user image 640x426] [View Full Size image _x_]


I've seen the extended version of that GIF.
 
2022-07-05 12:35:05 PM  
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2022-07-05 12:36:22 PM  
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2022-07-05 12:40:35 PM  
Hulk is a character both literally and thematically defined by his lack of control over his super-strength and his gigantic, canonically fluctuating size, while She-Hulk is just a taller green version of the woman in question who is still physiologically human in size and proportion (basically a tall weightlifter who can bench olympic amounts without losing her curves, it's more "most common superpower" than actual superpower in most of her appearances since She-Hulk is a comedy book).

So if you're talking about sex with, like, other humans the answer is pretty obviously Hulk: No, She-Hulk: Yes.  The character most people would actually identify as Hulk only has the technically-bestiality options of aliens and intelligent animals and shiat, which in fairness are plentiful enough in the comics (less so in the movies).

If you wanna deep dive into weird comics bullshiat there are other facets of Hulk that presumedly could have non-bestiality sex in the physiological sense, but if you're doing that you have to also accept the deep-ish cut information that Hulk's semen is (again, canonically) an intensely poisonous radioactive substance capable of sickening or even killing on contact, so the answer's still 'no'.

... how close did I get?

*clicks*

Hm, actually pretty close.  Am I starting to think like a Slate writer?  Should I see a doctor about this?
 
2022-07-05 12:56:37 PM  

Fano: [external-preview.redd.it image 662x646]
Oh yes he can


WTF is that from?
 
2022-07-05 1:04:41 PM  
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2022-07-05 1:32:28 PM  
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2022-07-05 1:35:14 PM  
Fortunately, there are 60 years' worth of Hulk comic books to provide some possible answers

Or, like the first page of Rule 34 results
 
2022-07-05 2:03:49 PM  
It's already been done
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2022-07-05 2:07:13 PM  

Fano: [external-preview.redd.it image 662x646]
Oh yes he can


WTF?
 
2022-07-05 2:10:14 PM  

The_Sponge: [Fark user image 425x526]


Actually, Hulk loses everything but his pants (from the knees up), so, yeah, it's not fair.
 
2022-07-05 2:15:59 PM  
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2022-07-05 2:16:45 PM  
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2022-07-05 2:17:06 PM  
The Simpsons - Homer is the Incredible Hulk
Youtube rmy34-UvhvM

Bart's line is the best.
 
2022-07-05 2:37:51 PM  

The_Sponge: Fano: [external-preview.redd.it image 662x646]
Oh yes he can

WTF is that from?


Hulk 23, back in 1980 He nearly gets raped at a YMCA
 
2022-07-05 3:10:23 PM  
Hulk ... smashed.

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