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(MSN)   Cars that were so ugly, they never should have left the assembly line   (msn.com) divider line
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1930 clicks; posted to STEM » on 05 Jul 2022 at 3:25 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-07-05 12:08:17 AM  
Fails to include El Camino, got my other choices though.
 
2022-07-05 12:36:16 AM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 1:23:16 AM  
A car so ugly the assembly line was aborted. Turns out nobody wanted to pay a million bucks for a Volvo convertible wearing a fat suit.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 1:30:55 AM  
Lol, I like the AMC Pacers. Ridiculous farking things...

I owned a Ford Taurus for years. It was a great car until you tried to find it in a parking lot.
 
2022-07-05 1:36:58 AM  
The Aztek was so bad, it killed a very popular comedy/romance book vampire.
 
2022-07-05 1:51:19 AM  
     My favorite Edsel joke back when was: The grille looks like it backed into a Studebaker. Reference for non onion belt wearers......

                        
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                                    Studebaker Commander

           
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2022-07-05 2:26:00 AM  
Glad to see the Yugo made it. They eventually included rear window defrosters in them to keep your hands warm while pushing them...rim shot.
 
2022-07-05 2:59:03 AM  
No hate for the SSR?

Fark user imageView Full Size


I'm pretty sure every one of these was driven by a guy who wore his sunglasses on the back of his neck.
 
2022-07-05 3:00:50 AM  
                                                        I was told ugly vehicles are the future.

Fark user imageView Full Size

 
2022-07-05 3:03:35 AM  

Squid_for_Brains: Lol, I like the AMC Pacers. Ridiculous farking things...


Same here. The Pacer is ugly in a cool kitschy way. I always thought they were kinda neat.

images.classic.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 4:25:54 AM  
I though a few of those models looked cool.

Edsel, Fury, even the Pacer if you half close your eyes and squint at it.
 
2022-07-05 4:34:09 AM  

crumblecat: I though a few of those models looked cool.

Edsel, Fury, even the Pacer if you half close your eyes and squint at it.


You shouldn't need beer goggles to buy a car.
 
2022-07-05 5:12:12 AM  
Most cars on the road today are ugly as shiat. They all look like someone took a lump of Play-Doh and threw it in a wind tunnel.
 
2022-07-05 5:12:44 AM  
Funny, the Aztek looks better to me today than it did when it was released.

And fark your blog, the Subaru Brat is farking sweet, dude.
 
2022-07-05 5:25:25 AM  
I drive a Juke. Embrace the weirdness. The alternative is a sterile, silver/black/gray/beige Camcordalibu like everyone else has or, more likely, a pickup or a SUV.

The truth is, most of those cars sold well, and the ones that didn't like the Edsel were victims of unforeseen circumstances like the Eisenhower recession. There was a waiting list for the PT Cruiser, for Pete's sake.
 
2022-07-05 5:47:07 AM  
Now deslidified for her pleasure

Had a Transport back in the day.  Wasn't that bad but pushed like a SOB in the corners.
 
2022-07-05 5:52:32 AM  

Unscratchable_Itch: Most cars on the road today are ugly as shiat. They all look like someone took a lump of Play-Doh and threw it in a wind tunnel.


Modern cars are no longer rolling sculptures. They're mathematical formulas with tires, and stupid, angular sticky outy bits to make them look aggressive, to try and hide what identical, uninspired lumps of pablum they are.

And for the record, the Pacer f*king rocked. So did the PT Cruiser, and the Subaru Brat.

It's not a crime for a car to be cute, or fun.

I'd take one of those over any of today's angry kitchen appliances on wheels.
 
2022-07-05 8:03:05 AM  
Where I live, there is any old kind of car you could imagine. We have Jukes, Cubes, Toppos, Miata Roadsters, little utility vehicles, Copens, all of the various Rover flavors, and then more boring and conventional vehicles.

I think I have to say that I am not going to bust on people's style preferences, colors or whatever. It is an expression. There are some garish, disturbing, loud designs but they are really rare. Pretty much everything on the list is something I would not choose, but if others want to choose them, well.... ok!

My Pacer thing, and I had a girlfriend who had one, is that they were just WIDE, and it was never very clear why WIDE was a design choice. They looked kind of frumpy from the side, but from the top, they must look like a frisbee. I don't get what was going on there.

But that Isuzu was a decade ahead of its time. And the Cube and Juke look weird to people, but they are perfectly fine and functional. The Aztek looks strange, but it was apparently a good vehicle. And my favorite Hot Wheels ever was a Mantis.

I am fine with cars today, and I think things are going to get better... mostly.
 
2022-07-05 8:17:55 AM  
I think cars are going to have to go two directions.

Long distance high-speed cars are going to have to embrace efficiency. They are going to be prone to being cookie-cutter cars because they will have to be. Toyota is already camping on the Prius shape because it is the ideal. Everyone else will try to get as close as they can to that shape without people blowing up. The tires. The aerodynamics. If ICE cars are going to be banned, then design for efficiency will have to occur, and US manufacturers have never done that well.

But shorter distance low-speed cars can have all kinds of shapes and features because they will not need to move so fast or so far. They can have smaller engines or batteries. There will be demand for tall or wide delivery vehicles, with odd steering schemes or chassis schemes that allow amazing parking and other maneuvers.

I had an idea a year or two ago I posted here about cargo vehicles that include a battery with a cargo, so you can clip it onto a truck with a small battery and go long or short distances where they can recharge the batteries as they are loading or unloading cargo. The truck can deadhead with its tiny battery, or get another cargo and another battery and keep trucking.

Asian countries are going to embrace the funky for efficiency. I do not expect North America to be big innovators in this space. There is ALREADY a distinct lack of variety of EVs among manufacturers for the US market, but the Japanese market has small battery small vehicles with shorter range from Nissan and Mitsubishi. Small players, but the vehicles will never see North American shores, so... small is ok.  Pretty sure Mitsubishi has had EV keitora for at least a decade.
 
2022-07-05 8:21:29 AM  
A bunch of these were terrible less because of how they look and more because they drove badly. Looking at you PT Cruiser.  Underpowered and you couldn't see out of the darn thing.  But the look was popular enough that Chevy made the HHR as a worse boxier version.

Also the Aztec is a car people love to hate but anyone who owned them loved the darn things. Same for most of the "cube" cars that came out in the early aughts.

Finally, the Trans Sport was awesome looking.  At least it's a twist on the minivan. It was based on the Lumina and given that it's not much bigger it probably drove ok too.

/ the '92 Lumina I owned had a ton of power
// when it ran that is
 
2022-07-05 8:29:00 AM  

bloobeary: Unscratchable_Itch: Most cars on the road today are ugly as shiat. They all look like someone took a lump of Play-Doh and threw it in a wind tunnel.

Modern cars are no longer rolling sculptures. They're mathematical formulas with tires, and stupid, angular sticky outy bits to make them look aggressive, to try and hide what identical, uninspired lumps of pablum they are.

And for the record, the Pacer f*king rocked. So did the PT Cruiser, and the Subaru Brat.

It's not a crime for a car to be cute, or fun.

I'd take one of those over any of today's angry kitchen appliances on wheels.


Meh. My parents said the same things about cars being all the same in the 80s and 90s and how they were "works of art" in the decades before.

The truth is that car makers follow trends and tend to copy each other; cars from each decade all kind of look the same; cars that seem "ugly" at first are more often just different and are the ones we look back at as the "works of art"

Efficiency also matters which sort of makes cars need to be the same basic shape.
 
2022-07-05 8:32:21 AM  

2fardownthread: I think cars are going to have to go two directions.

Long distance high-speed cars are going to have to embrace efficiency. They are going to be prone to being cookie-cutter cars because they will have to be. Toyota is already camping on the Prius shape because it is the ideal. Everyone else will try to get as close as they can to that shape without people blowing up. The tires. The aerodynamics. If ICE cars are going to be banned, then design for efficiency will have to occur, and US manufacturers have never done that well.

But shorter distance low-speed cars can have all kinds of shapes and features because they will not need to move so fast or so far. They can have smaller engines or batteries. There will be demand for tall or wide delivery vehicles, with odd steering schemes or chassis schemes that allow amazing parking and other maneuvers.

I had an idea a year or two ago I posted here about cargo vehicles that include a battery with a cargo, so you can clip it onto a truck with a small battery and go long or short distances where they can recharge the batteries as they are loading or unloading cargo. The truck can deadhead with its tiny battery, or get another cargo and another battery and keep trucking.

Asian countries are going to embrace the funky for efficiency. I do not expect North America to be big innovators in this space. There is ALREADY a distinct lack of variety of EVs among manufacturers for the US market, but the Japanese market has small battery small vehicles with shorter range from Nissan and Mitsubishi. Small players, but the vehicles will never see North American shores, so... small is ok.  Pretty sure Mitsubishi has had EV keitora for at least a decade.


I can see that but you're right: until America embraces public transit and builds up instead of out, there isn't much use for low power, low speed vehicles.
 
2022-07-05 8:50:31 AM  

cfreak: A bunch of these were terrible less because of how they look and more because they drove badly. Looking at you PT Cruiser.  Underpowered and you couldn't see out of the darn thing.  But the look was popular enough that Chevy made the HHR as a worse boxier version.

Also the Aztec is a car people love to hate but anyone who owned them loved the darn things. Same for most of the "cube" cars that came out in the early aughts.

Finally, the Trans Sport was awesome looking.  At least it's a twist on the minivan. It was based on the Lumina and given that it's not much bigger it probably drove ok too.

/ the '92 Lumina I owned had a ton of power
// when it ran that is


To be fair the PT Cruiser is also legitimately uglier than Steve Bannon's ass.
 
2022-07-05 8:56:24 AM  
images.gtcarlot.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 9:03:37 AM  
Post all the South Park memes you want, but I love my Prius. Thing is built so low to the ground that it can take the sharp curves on the back country roads and highways around here like they don't exist.
 
2022-07-05 9:22:24 AM  

AdrienVeidt: cfreak: A bunch of these were terrible less because of how they look and more because they drove badly. Looking at you PT Cruiser.  Underpowered and you couldn't see out of the darn thing.  But the look was popular enough that Chevy made the HHR as a worse boxier version.

Also the Aztec is a car people love to hate but anyone who owned them loved the darn things. Same for most of the "cube" cars that came out in the early aughts.

Finally, the Trans Sport was awesome looking.  At least it's a twist on the minivan. It was based on the Lumina and given that it's not much bigger it probably drove ok too.

/ the '92 Lumina I owned had a ton of power
// when it ran that is

To be fair the PT Cruiser is also legitimately uglier than Steve Bannon's ass.


Why on earth are you looking at Bannon's ass?

/ *shudder*
 
2022-07-05 9:56:01 AM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


i.ytimg.comView Full Size


upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 9:56:27 AM  
Nissan Cube - Kleenex Box on wheels. That Edsel looked neat though.
 
2022-07-05 10:25:35 AM  
I've ridden far worse after a night of drinking
 
2022-07-05 10:41:34 AM  

cfreak: AdrienVeidt: cfreak: A bunch of these were terrible less because of how they look and more because they drove badly. Looking at you PT Cruiser.  Underpowered and you couldn't see out of the darn thing.  But the look was popular enough that Chevy made the HHR as a worse boxier version.

Also the Aztec is a car people love to hate but anyone who owned them loved the darn things. Same for most of the "cube" cars that came out in the early aughts.

Finally, the Trans Sport was awesome looking.  At least it's a twist on the minivan. It was based on the Lumina and given that it's not much bigger it probably drove ok too.

/ the '92 Lumina I owned had a ton of power
// when it ran that is

To be fair the PT Cruiser is also legitimately uglier than Steve Bannon's ass.

Why on earth are you looking at Bannon's ass?

/ *shudder*


Because a nearby PT Cruiser was my only other choice.
 
2022-07-05 10:41:46 AM  

SoupGuru: [images.gtcarlot.com image 850x637]


My Subaru Brat sat 4 as well.  Of course two of those seats were in the bed and faced rearward.   They did have cool grip handles like an amusement ride.
 
2022-07-05 10:42:34 AM  

Incog_Neeto: I've ridden far worse after a night of drinking


Unless you're the star of a 50s sitcom your mother isn't a car.
 
2022-07-05 10:59:30 AM  

Uncontrolled_Jibe: SoupGuru: [images.gtcarlot.com image 850x637]

My Subaru Brat sat 4 as well.  Of course two of those seats were in the bed and faced rearward.   They did have cool grip handles like an amusement ride.


Fun fact: those seats only existed so Subaru could claim the BRAT was a passenger car in order to avoid the Chicken Tax.

You want to read about tariffs run amok that once implemented never go away? The Chicken Tax is a protectionist policy that makes so little sense anymore even American car companies do workarounds to save money.
 
2022-07-05 11:06:31 AM  

Copperbelly watersnake: Post all the South Park memes you want, but I love my Prius. Thing is built so low to the ground that it can take the sharp curves on the back country roads and highways around here like they don't exist.


Same here. I'm getting 46 MPG without trying hard at all and it seats 5 people comfortably. Enjoy your pickup trucks and mommy vans, everyone, I'll see you at the gas pump some time next month.
 
2022-07-05 11:19:56 AM  

Squid_for_Brains: Lol, I like the AMC Pacers. Ridiculous farking things...

I owned a Ford Taurus for years. It was a great car until you tried to find it in a parking lot.


My mom had a red AMC Pacer  & that was my first car. I *loved* it! No blind spots whatsoever!
 
2022-07-05 11:24:27 AM  
I remember back in the late 80's it looked like all cars were the same. Same shape & 3 main colors - red, white blue sliver/gray. it still kind of looks like that, depending on where you live. Atlanta has a HUGE variety of cars you'll see on 75. It's good car watching.
 
2022-07-05 11:50:41 AM  

Squid_for_Brains: No hate for the SSR?

[Fark user image image 425x318]

I'm pretty sure every one of these was driven by a guy who wore his sunglasses on the back of his neck.


With a tow rating lower than most riding lawnmowers.
 
2022-07-05 11:53:17 AM  

relaxitsjustme: Now deslidified for her pleasure

Had a Transport back in the day.  Wasn't that bad but pushed like a SOB in the corners.


Drove one at an SAE meeting when they first come out. YUUUUGE dashboard; you could casually toss an extra large pizza box onto it and never worry about it sliding off.
 
2022-07-05 11:56:23 AM  
For the past fifteen years and counting, Lincoln front end design language continues to be based on a foil razor.
 
2022-07-05 12:43:01 PM  
Teenaged intern does 10 minutes of research and gets his first online article.
 
2022-07-05 12:48:44 PM  
My wife has a Juke and loves it.
 
2022-07-05 2:12:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


JUKEBOX
 
2022-07-05 2:51:14 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: Copperbelly watersnake: Post all the South Park memes you want, but I love my Prius. Thing is built so low to the ground that it can take the sharp curves on the back country roads and highways around here like they don't exist.

Same here. I'm getting 46 MPG without trying hard at all and it seats 5 people comfortably. Enjoy your pickup trucks and mommy vans, everyone, I'll see you at the gas pump some time next month.


It's funny to me seeing someone brag about 46 MPG as if the entire industry hasn't passed the Prius by with PHEVs and EVs. I was getting about 70 MPG with my last car that could take gas. Love my all-electric and wouldn't go back to an ICE car.
 
2022-07-05 2:53:20 PM  

bloobeary: Unscratchable_Itch: Most cars on the road today are ugly as shiat. They all look like someone took a lump of Play-Doh and threw it in a wind tunnel.

Modern cars are no longer rolling sculptures. They're mathematical formulas with tires, and stupid, angular sticky outy bits to make them look aggressive, to try and hide what identical, uninspired lumps of pablum they are.

And for the record, the Pacer f*king rocked. So did the PT Cruiser, and the Subaru Brat.

It's not a crime for a car to be cute, or fun.

I'd take one of those over any of today's angry kitchen appliances on wheels.


The PT Cruiser was okay but I vastly preferred the Chevy HHR if you're going with that retro look:

media.ed.edmunds-media.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 3:14:48 PM  

I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: For the past fifteen years and counting, Lincoln front end design language continues to be based on a foil razor.


It goes back a LOT further than that

https://www.autoblog.com/amp/2009/08/27/ebay-find-of-the-day-gorgeous-1964-lincoln-continental-has-a-72/
 
2022-07-05 5:28:47 PM  
The more things change...

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-05 8:31:07 PM  

bingethinker: Teenaged intern does 10 minutes of research and gets his first online article.


Same thing I thought when she ragged on the '61 Fury.

/ Now little princess, once a upon a looooong time ago there was something called the Space Age,
and because of that all of the vroom, vroom cars of the day had flared bumpers like wings, and brake lights
like jet exhaust.
//I wonder which uninspired, cookie cutter, small SUV she drives.
 
2022-07-05 10:07:57 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Lol, I like the AMC Pacers. Ridiculous farking things...

I owned a Ford Taurus for years. It was a great car until you tried to find it in a parking lot.


Yeah, they made sure to make fun of rhe Pacer's legitimate selling point. It was a compact that didn't have you end up riding in your passenger's lap. That whole 'wife body compact' thing is really what set them apart...
 
2022-07-05 10:11:22 PM  

All Intensive Purposes: Funny, the Aztek looks better to me today than it did when it was released.

And fark your blog, the Subaru Brat is farking sweet, dude.


The Brat was cool with the jumpseats in the back. They had handles that made it look like you were preparing for liftoff. 😁

The thing I never understand, and the Brat is a great example, why do these automakers come back with a previous vehicle and then change the name? Subaru makes a pickup/car hybrid again, but they didn't call it the Brat. Jeep basically reissued the Scrambler, but just named it "Unlimited". If you're gonna start remaking old models, then use the original name, right?
 
2022-07-05 10:15:07 PM  

2fardownthread: Where I live, there is any old kind of car you could imagine. We have Jukes, Cubes, Toppos, Miata Roadsters, little utility vehicles, Copens, all of the various Rover flavors, and then more boring and conventional vehicles.

I think I have to say that I am not going to bust on people's style preferences, colors or whatever. It is an expression. There are some garish, disturbing, loud designs but they are really rare. Pretty much everything on the list is something I would not choose, but if others want to choose them, well.... ok!

My Pacer thing, and I had a girlfriend who had one, is that they were just WIDE, and it was never very clear why WIDE was a design choice. They looked kind of frumpy from the side, but from the top, they must look like a frisbee. I don't get what was going on there.

But that Isuzu was a decade ahead of its time. And the Cube and Juke look weird to people, but they are perfectly fine and functional. The Aztek looks strange, but it was apparently a good vehicle. And my favorite Hot Wheels ever was a Mantis.

I am fine with cars today, and I think things are going to get better... mostly.


They were wide because they were made when fuel efficiency had people driving Go-Karts with doors. Compact cars used to truly suck, so the Pacer was designed to be closer to a regular car, interior space-wise
 
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