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(Chron)   Inventor of Voice Mail Dies: Press 1 for Information About Funeral   ( chron.com) divider line
    More: PSA  
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1613 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2002 at 1:38 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

26 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-02-26 01:40:39 PM  
Please leave a message after the tone...
2002-02-26 01:41:59 PM  
You know, almost every day there is a link to a story mentioned by Paul Harvey.

2002-02-26 01:51:29 PM  
Too many jokes - head...splitting...

"If you would like to attend the wake, please press 2."
"If you are friends of the deceased, please press 1. If you are friends of the widow, please press 2. If you are friends of the family, please press 3. If you would like to sneak into the wake for free booze and munchies, please stay on the line...."
2002-02-26 01:53:53 PM  
smart man.. retired in austin.. :)
2002-02-26 01:54:17 PM  
I read this as "internet voice mail dies" and I got psyched thinking there would be no more AOL guy.

must get checked for dyslexia
2002-02-26 02:00:55 PM  
El Cerdo Loco: Just make sure to avoid the silly driller doctor in Orlando.
2002-02-26 02:08:58 PM  
fantastic if obvious headline. Nice.
2002-02-26 02:09:12 PM  
I have enough holes in my daeh...head
2002-02-26 02:14:54 PM  
I would laugh if he was listening to the crappy music of the automatic phone answering 911 system trying to get a ambulance when he kicked the bucket. "Please stay one the line your call is important to us, please dont hang up and call again calls are answered in the order they are recieved." Article didnt say explicityly that he created it but im sure he had a hand in it.
2002-02-26 02:17:27 PM  
"If you would like to delete voice mail in general forever, press star-D to activate self-destruct mode."
2002-02-26 02:26:04 PM  
We're sorry, the number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service, please hang up and try again, or ask the operator for assistance.
2002-02-26 02:30:34 PM  
I can see Kramer doing the movie hotline guy.
2002-02-26 02:45:16 PM  
If he believes in hell, he will be listening to a endless list of menu options. HA!
2002-02-26 03:16:25 PM  
to proceed with sorrow, press One, now
to proceed with shock, press two, now
to proceed with dismay, press three, now
2002-02-26 03:22:09 PM  
This was from a few days ago. The guy actually hated
the so-called "automated attendant" we all deal with now.
He thought people should actually get to speak to a real
person, then if the party in question was out the voice
mail kicked in. So we can't blame him for that, really.
2002-02-26 03:52:11 PM  
Is it true that the lowest level of Hell is actually an endlessly looping ring menu with no escapes?
2002-02-26 04:08:52 PM  
For faster processing of your request to enter Heaven, please have the following information ready.

List of family members ( living and dead, in chronological order ). Press * for operator assistance

List of sins commited and magnitude of severity.
Press # for a menu of sins

If at any time you wish to cancel this request, please press 666 and you will be transferred to our outplacement councillors.

Thank you very much for your call, and have a nice day !
2002-02-26 04:17:58 PM  
Great headline!
2002-02-26 04:19:14 PM  
The headline is a little misleading. The 'Press 1 for blah, Press 2 for bleh' isn't 'Voice Mail'. It's what is called an 'auto attendant'. A little lesson for the non-techies.

Inventor of Voice Mail Dies, please leave your condolances after the tone.

2002-02-26 05:16:41 PM  
The headline: Arf-tastic.
2002-02-26 05:17:47 PM  
Your soul has been forwarded to an automated soul-processing system...
2002-02-26 05:47:27 PM  
So when everyone says "I'd like to kill the guy who invented automated messages aka voice mail" we're talking about this guy.
2002-02-26 05:50:16 PM  
LOL: Nice headline.
2002-02-26 10:15:04 PM  
2002-02-27 12:15:10 AM  
visiting is pretty
visiting is good
seems that all they ever wanted was a brother
this can be a secret
we can keep it good
even all the ever wanting had a problem

this is a call to all my
past resignations
it's been too long

fingernails are pretty
fingernails are good
seems that all they ever wanted was a marking

them balloons are pretty big
and say they should
ever fall to ground
call the magic marker

this is a call to all my
past resignations
this is a call to all
this is a call to all my
past resignations
it's been too long

minicyn is pretty
minicyn is good
seems that all the cysts and mollusks tend to barter

ritalin is easy
ritalin is good
even all the ones
who watered down the daughter
2002-02-27 03:01:56 PM  
I swear that one of the companies I contact for orders every other week doesn't even have live employees. In the 5 years we have dealt with them I can never remember getting a live person on the phone. Heaven help you if they fark up a delivery.
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