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(Action News Jacksonville)   If you can't Stand Your Ground against a chicken, are you even Freedom, Florida?   (actionnewsjax.com) divider line
    More: Florida, shot  
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3735 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2022 at 6:50 PM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



52 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-07-04 12:01:17 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2022-07-04 12:14:49 PM  
If you want to kill things without consequence, kill humans. It's the Florida way.
 
2022-07-04 12:16:02 PM  
"Chickens die every day, people! - at Churches, Popeyes, Kentucky Fried Chicken."

I don't think they actually die at those places. Besides, people die every day too.
 
2022-07-04 12:36:17 PM  
"Next thing i know he called the chee-cken po-leece on me"

Love it. Love everything about it
 
2022-07-04 12:44:51 PM  
Just gonna leave this one alone.
 
2022-07-04 1:33:50 PM  

HedlessChickn: Just gonna leave this one alone.


I should think so.  You are in mourning over this, right?
 
2022-07-04 1:43:25 PM  

cherryl taggart: HedlessChickn: Just gonna leave this one alone.

I should think so.  You are in mourning over this, right?


That asshole killed my father. What do you think?
 
2022-07-04 2:28:32 PM  
Chickens that aren't people's pets get killed for food every day asshole.  Would you like me to make a steak out of your dog?
 
2022-07-04 2:45:20 PM  
Here they come to snuff the rooster...
 
2022-07-04 3:28:20 PM  

Jake Havechek: Here they come to snuff the rooster...


Dammit, it was right in front of me.
 
2022-07-04 3:52:40 PM  
Why didn't he just choke it like the rest of us do..
 
2022-07-04 3:54:51 PM  
Unfortunately if your property comes onto my property my dog's allowed to eat it.
 
2022-07-04 3:57:42 PM  
Chicken VS 20,000 Medieval Soldiers - Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator
Youtube yJbwPcdsLLc
 
2022-07-04 3:58:35 PM  

Moroning: Why didn't he just choke it like the rest of us do..


You choke that guy's chicken?
 
2022-07-04 3:59:22 PM  
You know, I scrolled past this vid yesterday and it played for a few seconds and I just thought it was one of those, "ain't nobody got time for that" vid memes. So this is a real story?
 
2022-07-04 3:59:44 PM  
Attacked by a cock, but beat it off successfully.
 
2022-07-04 4:00:11 PM  
Reason #6,453,476 why, when hurricanes threaten Florida, I root for the hurricane. That entire degenerate state needs to be expunged from existence.
 
2022-07-04 4:00:42 PM  
Ya.... I believe him when he says he was attacked. Roosters can be arseholes a lot of the time. That he was restrained enough to only kill it when it came after him means he's got at least 1 point on him to be beatified as a saint.
 
2022-07-04 4:00:56 PM  
This guy's story is juuuuust plausible enough for me to buy. I've met some asshole chickens in my day. I've met some really friendly ones, but some can be mean. If you are keeping chickens, they should be penned up somewhere just in case they get a case of the pecks and want to go after someone.

And if you own ducks, keep them in your farking house because ALL ducks are assholes. Given the chance, ducks will kill you and everyone you care about.
 
2022-07-04 4:01:22 PM  
A friend of mine was a Muni driver (San Francisco) for some years. One day, an older Chinese woman steps onto his bus, carrying two live chickens by their feet. My friend the driver stops her and gently tells her, "Ma'am, live animals are not allowed on the bus."

She steps off. A moment later come squawking sounds, then she steps back on with two now-dead chickens.

Moral of the story? It's perfectly ok to choke your own chicken in public.
 
2022-07-04 4:01:29 PM  

jtown: Moroning: Why didn't he just choke it like the rest of us do..

You choke that guy's chicken?


You didn't!?!
 
2022-07-04 4:05:25 PM  
Poultry are serious business
Nell Flaherty's Drake + Lyrics
Youtube Evvt3JMoAMo
 
2022-07-04 4:05:37 PM  

what the cat dragged in: A friend of mine was a Muni driver (San Francisco) for some years. One day, an older Chinese woman steps onto his bus, carrying two live chickens by their feet. My friend the driver stops her and gently tells her, "Ma'am, live animals are not allowed on the bus."

She steps off. A moment later come squawking sounds, then she steps back on with two now-dead chickens.

Moral of the story? It's perfectly ok to choke your own chicken in public.


atomicjunkshop.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-04 4:08:31 PM  
looper.comView Full Size


Come on
 
2022-07-04 4:15:05 PM  

Mugato: "Chickens die every day, people! - at Churches, Popeyes, Kentucky Fried Chicken."

I don't think they actually die at those places. Besides, people die every day too.


When Popeyes introduced their chicken sandwhich a few people died there.
 
2022-07-04 4:20:14 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-04 4:22:08 PM  
They lot I used to park in for work had lots of roosters running around (yes, Florida). It was pretty common for them to be aggressive towards people and each other, but they were pretty easy to get away from without having to resort to poultricide.

I guess I could have stood my ground, but similar to what was shown in the video, explaining the mortal peril presented by a yardbird might have made me look like a dumbass.
 
2022-07-04 4:23:24 PM  
This guy makes MY neck flare up & makes me wanna do my thing & attack his swamp ass too.
 
2022-07-04 4:30:13 PM  
A house near my apartment has chickens. The rooster crows nearly non stop at times. Once i am inside i can't hear it though..
 
2022-07-04 4:34:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-04 4:35:17 PM  

Rattrap007: what the cat dragged in: A friend of mine was a Muni driver (San Francisco) for some years. One day, an older Chinese woman steps onto his bus, carrying two live chickens by their feet. My friend the driver stops her and gently tells her, "Ma'am, live animals are not allowed on the bus."

She steps off. A moment later come squawking sounds, then she steps back on with two now-dead chickens.

Moral of the story? It's perfectly ok to choke your own chicken in public.

[atomicjunkshop.com image 450x300]


I funnied that, but have to say that was a brutal episode.  I can't remember how old I was when I watched, but yeesh...
 
2022-07-04 4:35:27 PM  
If beating a cock in the head till it goes limp is a crime.......
 
2022-07-04 4:37:24 PM  
In Florida, you can shoot someone in your house if you think he's a threat to you, but if you own a business you can't keep someone from your place of business who could kill you with COVID.  Florida took away the right to defend yourself from death.
 
2022-07-04 4:42:34 PM  

huma474: Ya.... I believe him when he says he was attacked. Roosters can be arseholes a lot of the time. That he was restrained enough to only kill it when it came after him means he's got at least 1 point on him to be beatified as a saint.


Same i have a rooster named Red who will attack me when I get near the hens for eggs. He crows all day and I hope to soon have him on the grill with a teriyaki glaze and pineapples a rice.
 
2022-07-04 4:56:30 PM  
When my Dad was like 3 or 4, he came into the house, with scratches across his face and arms, and screaming, "the rooster knocked my* down!"

At which point, my grandfather let my grandma see to him, and marched out to the yard and after a few minutes, my grandma was able to do her amazing fried chicken that evening.

*When telling this story, it is important to note my Dad said 'my down' and not 'me down.' It causes my father to blush violently.
 
2022-07-04 5:00:08 PM  

Short Victoria's War: Rattrap007: what the cat dragged in: A friend of mine was a Muni driver (San Francisco) for some years. One day, an older Chinese woman steps onto his bus, carrying two live chickens by their feet. My friend the driver stops her and gently tells her, "Ma'am, live animals are not allowed on the bus."

She steps off. A moment later come squawking sounds, then she steps back on with two now-dead chickens.

Moral of the story? It's perfectly ok to choke your own chicken in public.

[atomicjunkshop.com image 450x300]

I funnied that, but have to say that was a brutal episode.  I can't remember how old I was when I watched, but yeesh...


well how could i not make the joke. Cat did story of asian woman killing chickens on a bus. Never watched MASH, but know the scene..
 
2022-07-04 5:06:37 PM  
Rattrap007:

well how could i not make the joke. Cat did story of asian woman killing chickens on a bus. Never watched MASH, but know the scene..

Never saw MASH, don't know the scene.
 
2022-07-04 5:16:08 PM  
You must be so proud, America.  This is EXACTLY how the rest of the world sees you.
 
2022-07-04 5:23:19 PM  

Moroning: jtown: Moroning: Why didn't he just choke it like the rest of us do..

You choke that guy's chicken?

You didn't!?!


Sorry dude, no one did. We were messing with you.
 
2022-07-04 5:30:23 PM  

Mugato: Rattrap007:

well how could i not make the joke. Cat did story of asian woman killing chickens on a bus. Never watched MASH, but know the scene..

Never saw MASH, don't know the scene.


Saddest TV Moment: Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen
Youtube rvBS0VqJPXs


I remember watching it as a kid and being moved, then not watching it for another 35 years. Now all I can think when I see it is that Alan Alda was not yet a good enough actor to pull that scene off. Or maybe it was just the early 1980s TV format. Or maybe it was the writing and direction, but both of those were Alan Alda. Honestly, the line-less woman playing the mother acted circles around him in her 15 seconds on screen.

I get where he was trying to go, but I don't think he quite got there.
 
2022-07-04 6:43:31 PM  
Who's property was it on? Saying your rooster is not aggressive will not win over people who know what a rooster is.
 
2022-07-04 6:58:59 PM  
My sister, who's from Ohio, lives in rural Florida.  One of the interesting differences between the north and south is that roosters in the south will crow all night, not just at dawn in the north.
 
2022-07-04 7:12:54 PM  
And people die every day. That does not make it okay to kill them.
 
2022-07-04 7:22:33 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:

Phil_Lewis_: Jacksonville man arrested after police say he killed neighbor's pet rooster "Chickens die every day, people! - at Churches, Popeyes, Kentucky Fried Chicken." https://t.co/Y8NEsbZymf https://t.co/x2TmqfxBuq


yeah and in hospitals, surgeons cut people with knives... however it's not ok to shank a guy in the park.
 
2022-07-04 8:27:56 PM  
Roosters are assholes, anyone who has first-hand experience of them will resonate with the story the guy is telling.

Hey other guy. If you want your pets kept safe, keep them confined to your own land, idiot.
 
2022-07-04 9:54:31 PM  

Rattrap007: Short Victoria's War: Rattrap007: what the cat dragged in: A friend of mine was a Muni driver (San Francisco) for some years. One day, an older Chinese woman steps onto his bus, carrying two live chickens by their feet. My friend the driver stops her and gently tells her, "Ma'am, live animals are not allowed on the bus."

She steps off. A moment later come squawking sounds, then she steps back on with two now-dead chickens.

Moral of the story? It's perfectly ok to choke your own chicken in public.

[atomicjunkshop.com image 450x300]

I funnied that, but have to say that was a brutal episode.  I can't remember how old I was when I watched, but yeesh...

well how could i not make the joke. Cat did story of asian woman killing chickens on a bus. Never watched MASH, but know the scene..


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-04 10:35:25 PM  
Hey guys, what's going on here.....oh my!
Never mind, I'm out.
 
2022-07-05 12:31:48 AM  
When I was a kid we had an attack rooster. To get from one part of the yard to the other you had to kick the shiat out of it.

Eventually a few dogs got to it and my dad stayed up all night trying to save it. Yeah, I know. We felt the same way but it was his watch chicken.
 
2022-07-05 12:38:30 AM  

huma474: Ya.... I believe him when he says he was attacked. Roosters can be arseholes a lot of the time. That he was restrained enough to only kill it when it came after him means he's got at least 1 point on him to be beatified as a saint.


We had one. Them spurs are nothing to fool around with.
 
2022-07-05 12:42:38 AM  
Chickens can be hypnotized. Our record was six at one time. We were working on more but my dad spoiled it by yelling at us and startling our conquests. He thought we hurt them.

How to hypnotize a chicken
Youtube JlBDWXDGDzg
 
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