Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   Subby is about to do first 5 minute stand up act in front of a live audience. Any farkers do this before? Any advice besides "butt stuff"?   (fark.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, United States Football League, Cascading Style Sheets, Fark, Christmas, Food, community members, snail mail USPS customers, Emma Leaphorn invite Jim Chee  
•       •       •

90 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Jul 2022 at 10:41 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



58 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-07-03 8:59:22 PM  
Break a leg?
 
2022-07-03 9:00:43 PM  
Have fun with it.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2022-07-03 9:01:02 PM  
Have the audience imagine you naked.
 
2022-07-03 9:06:08 PM  
Don't rush, take your time, enjoy the ending.
 
2022-07-03 9:09:02 PM  
Don't emulate Maher.
 
2022-07-03 9:13:27 PM  
Don't panic! Keep your wits.

/done it before. Break a leg!
 
2022-07-03 9:13:41 PM  
Try not no do any black people do this and white people do that jokes]
 
2022-07-03 9:15:37 PM  
Start with the easy stuff, get the audience on your side.
 
2022-07-03 9:15:38 PM  
Don't make any jokes about bald-headed women who may be in the audience.
 
2022-07-03 9:22:42 PM  

jbc: Have the audience imagine you naked.


Jokes on them, I'll be naked. 

BigBurrito: Don't rush, take your time, enjoy the ending.


Thats my issue so far... rushing.

aleister_greynight: Start with the easy stuff, get the audience on your side.


The routine is about having Anxiety disorder and seeing a thrapist and the second joke is about anxiety disorder causing vomiting.  
So there's that.
 
2022-07-03 9:22:49 PM  
Butt stuff
 
2022-07-03 9:24:14 PM  
What's wrong with "butt stuff"? It always seems to arise an audience.
 
2022-07-03 9:24:39 PM  
YOU SUCK!!! Even your momma would boo you! You're so bad even Don Rickles wouldn't bother to insult you. You're so bad even Statler and Waldorf turned down free tickets to see you. Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!

Get through that and you'll be fine. Good luck.
 
2022-07-03 9:25:07 PM  
Calm your nerves with Xanax and tequila shots
 
2022-07-03 9:30:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


ha ha, no seriously break a leg
 
2022-07-03 9:32:14 PM  

blastoh: BigBurrito: Don't rush, take your time, enjoy the ending.


Thats my issue so far... rushing.


That's a thing for sure. I'm no comedian but when I'm being funny, or trying to be, a long pause can make me really funny to some people. I have no idea what it is. Probably my dumbass expression, I guess.

But give people a chance. We all loved Robin Williams but it was really hard to keep up.
 
2022-07-03 9:34:18 PM  

edmo: blastoh: BigBurrito: Don't rush, take your time, enjoy the ending.


Thats my issue so far... rushing.

That's a thing for sure. I'm no comedian but when I'm being funny, or trying to be, a long pause can make me really funny to some people. I have no idea what it is. Probably my dumbass expression, I guess.

But give people a chance. We all loved Robin Williams but it was really hard to keep up.


it feels like pandering... like..
set up.. punch line .. pause and wait like Jeb Bush "please clap"
 
2022-07-03 9:40:17 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-03 9:46:20 PM  

Ivo Shandor: [i.kym-cdn.com image 680x683]


I've always been partial to this version:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-03 9:47:46 PM  
I have done stand up before, only a few times though. My first time was a disaster. I was the first comic of the open mic night, and I was so bad the MC made fun of me all the way through the rest of the show. I did do some successful joke telling at some later engagements.

Still want my advice? Try to keep your first jokes short. If a joke bombs, don't dwell on it. Don't hold the microphone up so high that it blocks your mouth and face. If you can improvise even one line reacting or commenting on something that happened in the room earlier or currently, go for it. It doesn't even have to be very funny as long as it's an honest take. People will laugh out of recognition as much as they will sheer humor value. If you can have a bit of attitude or persona, that can help. Finally, it may seem hacky, and it is, but physicality also works for a lot of comics. Faces, broad unexpected movements, ect. Altering the volume of your voice for comic effect can be effective, just make sure you can be understood.
 
2022-07-03 9:48:37 PM  
I did one as a tryout, in front of others trying out. A lot of them got lots of laughs, mostly by using curse words or just mentioning sex. I totally bombed. I think my material definitely needed improvement but it was disheartening to get crickets when everyone before me got at least some chuckles here and there.
 
2022-07-03 9:51:46 PM  
They're saying "booourns"
 
2022-07-03 9:53:05 PM  
Some of the funniest people do so by trying really really hard to act serious, and failing.

/my 2 cents, I am not good at this, but get my best laughs among friends and family when trying to be serious.
 
2022-07-03 10:15:04 PM  
Lee Mack's Joke Leaves John Cleese In Near Tears | The Graham Norton Show
Youtube dmbpagijVkk


Jokes about anxiety disorder for your first stand-up routine is gold! The audience will relate.

Try not to call anybody a Kent. ;p
 
2022-07-03 10:17:07 PM  

cretinbob: They're saying "booourns"


I was saying boourns.....
 
2022-07-03 10:22:47 PM  

blastoh: jbc: Have the audience imagine you naked.

Jokes on them, I'll be naked. 

BigBurrito: Don't rush, take your time, enjoy the ending.

Thats my issue so far... rushing.

aleister_greynight: Start with the easy stuff, get the audience on your side.

The routine is about having Anxiety disorder and seeing a thrapist and the second joke is about anxiety disorder causing vomiting.  
So there's that.


diarrhea would be funnier
 
2022-07-03 10:26:52 PM  

blastoh: jbc: Have the audience imagine you naked.

Jokes on them, I'll be naked. 

BigBurrito: Don't rush, take your time, enjoy the ending.

Thats my issue so far... rushing.

aleister_greynight: Start with the easy stuff, get the audience on your side.

The routine is about having Anxiety disorder and seeing a thrapist and the second joke is about anxiety disorder causing vomiting.  
So there's that.


Do you get nervous on airplanes?
Break a leg! 🤘
 
2022-07-03 10:43:46 PM  
Break a leg.. if they still don't laugh, break their other one...
 
2022-07-03 10:53:25 PM  
Takes a minute, but a good relevant story

Lee Mack's Joke Leaves John Cleese In Near Tears | The Graham Norton Show
Youtube dmbpagijVkk
 
2022-07-03 10:53:43 PM  
Do not put, or threaten to put, a fork in anyone's ass.  It doesn't go over well.
 
2022-07-03 10:54:29 PM  
Don't mention the war.
 
2022-07-03 10:56:30 PM  

Meat's dream: Do not put, or threaten to put, a fork in anyone's ass.  It doesn't go over well.


Probably depends on the crowd..
 
2022-07-03 10:57:11 PM  
Now I'm wishing I'd scrolled up
 
2022-07-03 11:09:44 PM  
Don't suck.
 
2022-07-03 11:11:45 PM  
Punch up.
 
2022-07-03 11:14:48 PM  
Say uh a lot.
 
2022-07-03 11:19:57 PM  
What about sit-down comedy? It's not the same as a sitcom, but there should be a name for it.
 
2022-07-03 11:35:54 PM  
Just continue screaming the N word.  Use it in an accusing manner to the audience.  Works every time.
 
2022-07-03 11:39:41 PM  
Dead baby jokes. Those always kill.
 
2022-07-04 12:08:17 AM  
Existential questioning of perceived "deals" in regard to airline peanuts was a technique used in the 1990's. Know your demographic.
 
TWX
2022-07-04 12:08:26 AM  
Take your time between your jokes.  Give your audience opportunity to laugh if they're going to.

Several years ago I saw a friend's first-ever standup routine.  He rushed too fast through his jokes and didn't leave enough time, even though his material was pretty funny.
 
2022-07-04 12:15:23 AM  
Have ten minutes of material
 
2022-07-04 1:01:21 AM  
Seriously though, good on you subby for having the guts to do this.  Most kids grow up wanting to be athletes or actors or musicians.  I wanted to be a comic.  I remember developing a routine while I was mowing neighborhood lawns in the late 80's/early 90's.  I had a whole skit about Tammy Fay Baker and PTL.  I don't remember the jokes anymore, and I'm sure they were terrible, but at the time I was sure they would kill.  But that was long ago and I never had the guts or initiative to put it all together and try it out.

Best of luck, I hope you knock it out of the park.
 
2022-07-04 1:03:50 AM  

Billy Liar: Now I'm wishing I'd scrolled up


Heh!
I'm on more ignore lists than Drews penis. So having another farker on the same wavelength is truly sublime... ;)
 
2022-07-04 1:06:28 AM  
If you have boobies, you should definitely flash them.
 
2022-07-04 1:56:19 AM  
Venetian Snares - Milk
Youtube COjIVsVTpFo
 
2022-07-04 2:02:36 AM  
fark his dad.
 
2022-07-04 3:13:31 AM  
Late to the thread so I'm pretty sure whatever was going to happen has happened.  Post a YT link and let's see how you did.
 
2022-07-04 3:13:56 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/give my regards to your liver
 
2022-07-04 5:38:50 AM  
It helps to have support.  Before I went onstage for the first time, my ex said to go out there and just be myself, and people would be looking at me funny for the rest of my life!
 
Displayed 50 of 58 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.