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(Some Guy)   Crypto company Celsius trying to break the heat by firing a quarter of its workers while still blocking all withdrawals   (calcalistech.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Layoff, American-Israeli company, Startup company, General Conference on Weights and Measures, Restructuring, Asset, Celsius co-founders Alex Mashinsky, Celsius  
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567 clicks; posted to Business » on 03 Jul 2022 at 8:30 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-07-03 7:50:46 AM  
The owner has already taken whatever liquid cash the company has, he doesn't want to waste it by paying staff.
 
2022-07-03 8:36:30 AM  
The Crypto world right now:

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-07-03 8:42:27 AM  
They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".
 
2022-07-03 8:52:35 AM  

TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".


Never before would I have believed the phrase "A fool and his money are soon parted" would be applied on an almost daily basis to a news story.
 
2022-07-03 8:55:25 AM  

TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".


Even Bernie Madoff would have been too embarrassed to claim that.
 
2022-07-03 9:02:54 AM  
Blocking deposits seems like a serious breach of laws.  Oh wait.  It's crypto.
 
2022-07-03 9:11:04 AM  
This is why America should not switch to the metric system.
 
2022-07-03 9:21:28 AM  

American-Irish eyes: Blocking deposits seems like a serious breach of laws.  Oh wait.  It's crypto  libertarian wet dream.


Who needs "banks" and "regulations"?  The almighty, all-knowing, compassionate rich people will take care of us.
 
2022-07-03 9:36:24 AM  
Ol' MUSKY told me crypto was the future! What is happening to my retirement? OH NO.
 
2022-07-03 9:50:29 AM  
Cryptocurrency is going to become another "Prime Bank Note" or "Railroad Bond" scheme isn't it?
 
2022-07-03 9:54:27 AM  
Someone was spending a fortune trying desperately to keep the price of Bitcoin over $20k, and they just ran out of money.  What a shame.  Next victim!
 
2022-07-03 10:00:54 AM  

TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".


You just don't understand the technology!
 
2022-07-03 10:06:16 AM  

Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!


The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.
 
2022-07-03 10:11:45 AM  
If they've blocked withdrawals they've stolen your money. Telling you that they'll let you withdraw later is just them trying to get you not to notice that it's been stolen.
 
2022-07-03 10:16:58 AM  

HugeMistake: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

Even Bernie Madoff would have been too embarrassed to claim that.


But to be fair, Madoff was actually exceptionally smart for a Ponzi scheme operator. He promised reasonable returns, had strict but legal withdrawal terms to prevent a sudden run, and probably would have gotten away with it free and clear were it not for the 2008 recession.
 
2022-07-03 10:18:57 AM  

Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.


Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.
 
2022-07-03 10:39:42 AM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.

Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.


NFTs. Many of them purport to be ugly clipart ownership certificates. They're not of course, but that's what they've told the chumps who 'invest'.
 
2022-07-03 11:01:57 AM  

TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-03 11:16:12 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: Someone was spending a fortune trying desperately to keep the price of Bitcoin over $20k, and they just ran out of money.  What a shame.  Next victim!


Not really, the number of people holding at least one bitcoin has not ceased to rise. The big declines recently were from large stakeholders shedding their stakes. Bitcoin won't actually collapse until small true believers change their mind. Are large stakeholders continuing to shed coins? TBD.
 
2022-07-03 11:28:29 AM  

EvilEgg: The owner has already taken whatever liquid cash the company has, he doesn't want to waste it by paying staff.


Yeah, that was a whole lot of corporate double speak to Wade through just to reach the inevitable conclusion of "you're farked if you had any holdings with us". They should send everyone that lost everything a dozen tulips. Seems fitting.
 
2022-07-03 12:26:19 PM  

TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".


This is, I think, a big problem with how financial literacy is taught and talked about.  There is a lot of focus on "this savings account pays 2% interest so if I put in $1000 in five years I will have $1104" and not enough discussion of "this savings account pays 18% interest so if I put in $1000 then in five years I will have $0 because it is a ponzi and they will steal my money"
 
2022-07-03 12:50:51 PM  
A company with the total worth of, allegedly, $11.8 billion wrote loans for $8.2 billion? That seems like a great idea.... Write loans that are 70% of your total worth.

/ Never mind that the total worth of the company was $3.2 billion last year.
 
2022-07-03 12:52:57 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.

Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.


Left Click,

Save-As.
 
2022-07-03 12:54:06 PM  

iheartscotch: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.

Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.

Left Click,

Save-As.


Damn you iPhone!

Right click
 
2022-07-03 12:57:46 PM  

iheartscotch: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.

Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.

Left Click,

Save-As.


Using a left handed mouse, are we?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-07-03 1:20:15 PM  

OhioUGrad: Ol' MUSKY told me crypto was the future! What is happening to my retirement? OH NO.


He didn't say that you future would be bright. Living on the street, eating rats is a future.
 
2022-07-03 1:20:44 PM  

Lusiphur: HugeMistake: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

Even Bernie Madoff would have been too embarrassed to claim that.

But to be fair, Madoff was actually exceptionally smart for a Ponzi scheme operator. He promised reasonable returns, had strict but legal withdrawal terms to prevent a sudden run, and probably would have gotten away with it for much longerfree and clear were it not for the 2008 recession.


FTFY. The essence of a Ponzi scheme is that it eventually it runs out of victims.
 
2022-07-03 1:25:31 PM  

valkore: iheartscotch: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.

Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.

Left Click,

Save-As.

Using a left handed mouse, are we?

[Fark user image image 425x316]


My wife is ambidextrous and switches mouse hands if her wrists get sore. Sometimes she doesn't bother to reset the mouse settings. Inevitably I'll have to use her computer for something and it totally farks me up.
 
2022-07-03 1:42:14 PM  

HugeMistake: Lusiphur: HugeMistake: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

Even Bernie Madoff would have been too embarrassed to claim that.

But to be fair, Madoff was actually exceptionally smart for a Ponzi scheme operator. He promised reasonable returns, had strict but legal withdrawal terms to prevent a sudden run, and probably would have gotten away with it for much longerfree and clear were it not for the 2008 recession.

FTFY. The essence of a Ponzi scheme is that it eventually it runs out of victims.


Not necessarily. The common element of Ponzi schemes that go bust are that eventually they run out of victims. But Madoff was a bit of a special case. He was seen as a legitimate investment firm by actual financial professionals. He had respect, and the trust of Wall St.

I think he could have kept it going at least until he died.
 
2022-07-03 2:12:16 PM  

Lusiphur: Not necessarily. The common element of Ponzi schemes that go bust are that eventually they run out of victims. But Madoff was a bit of a special case. He was seen as a legitimate investment firm by actual financial professionals. He had respect, and the trust of Wall St.

I think he could have kept it going at least until he died.


He was indeed very good at keeping false books that looked legit.

The open question, to which we will never know the answer, was whether he would have run out of victims before he died were it not for the financial crisis.

Off the top of my head I can't think of a top tier Ponzi scheme that was only exposed when the perpetrator died and his estate was examined, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one. I suppose Robert "the bouncing Czech" Maxwell came close.
 
2022-07-03 2:22:59 PM  
Ctrl+F

Linux_Yes

0/0
 
2022-07-03 2:32:17 PM  
"We continue to take important steps to preserve and protect assets and explore options available to us."

#1
c.tenor.comView Full Size


#2
media4.giphy.comView Full Size



I vote #1
 
2022-07-03 3:36:09 PM  
"Crypto company Celsius trying to break the heat by firing a quarter of its workers while still blocking all withdrawals"

This is why I put all of my money into Fahrenheit.
 
2022-07-03 4:24:28 PM  

SafetyThird: valkore: iheartscotch: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Muta: Rapmaster2000: TappingTheVein: They offered up to 18% annual percentage yield for your deposit? paid weekly? that's like holding a large flashing neon sign saying "we're a ponzi scheme! ".

You just don't understand the technology!

The dollar is collapsing.  Banks get bailouts.  Crypto is the future.  This is just like web 1.0.

Web 1.0 had ugly nonsensical clip art slapped around on websites by people trying to be cool. Name ONE way that NFTs are similar to that.

Left Click,

Save-As.

Using a left handed mouse, are we?

[Fark user image image 425x316]

My wife is ambidextrous and switches mouse hands if her wrists get sore. Sometimes she doesn't bother to reset the mouse settings. Inevitably I'll have to use her computer for something and it totally farks me up.


You're a very lucky man IYKWIMAITYD.
 
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