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(Reader's Digest)   How come there aren't any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. It is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, 4th of July weekend edition   (rd.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, American Revolution, July 4th, Boston Tea Party, George III of the United Kingdom, United States Declaration of Independence, classic American flag pictures, fun 4th of July jokes, American colonists  
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120 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 30 Jun 2022 at 7:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-06-30 1:43:05 AM  
Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Nine Eleven.

Nine Eleven who?

You said you'd never forget.
 
2022-06-30 2:11:31 AM  
What do firemen like to put in their soup?

...

...

...

Firecrackers
 
2022-06-30 9:04:36 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:04:45 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:05:09 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:05:33 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:05:55 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:06:23 AM  
I think it is a pebble....

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2022-06-30 9:06:43 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:07:05 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:08:06 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:08:18 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:08:41 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:09:03 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:09:25 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:09:46 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:10:24 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:10:48 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:11:09 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:12:20 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:12:43 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:14:33 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:14:55 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:15:16 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:15:37 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:15:57 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:16:21 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:16:42 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:16:52 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:17:21 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:18:08 AM  
So I just got back from the doctor. I was having this incredible urge to wear tight pants and sing to middle aged women.

He told me that I am suffering from Tom Jones Syndrome.

I asked him if it was rare.

He said it's not unusual.
 
2022-06-30 9:18:33 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:19:06 AM  
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2022-06-30 9:21:19 AM  
Funny Joke: A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds - it's hilarious
Youtube mnqS-tivKag
 
2022-06-30 9:22:14 AM  
Funny Joke: A Harvard graduate sits next to a young blonde lady on a flight from Cali to New York
Youtube pPBjp1fZFt0
 
2022-06-30 9:25:33 AM  

kdawg7736: [scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net image 640x505]


My dogs become very upset if I eat the pizza bones on them.
 
2022-06-30 10:58:56 AM  
right now we are the joke.
 
2022-06-30 12:11:23 PM  
Q: If Clarence Thomas, Moscow Mitch and trump are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives?
A: The United States

Q: What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
A: In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture

Q: How many American cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they all just beat the room for being black
 
2022-06-30 1:51:40 PM  
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2022-06-30 1:52:44 PM  
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2022-06-30 1:53:36 PM  
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2022-06-30 2:08:01 PM  
Ben: One of our pigs was sick so I gave him some sugar.

Dan: Sugar! What for?

Ben: Haven't you ever heard of sugar-cured ham?
 
2022-06-30 3:54:57 PM  

kdawg7736: [scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net image 550x480]


what is the problem, i love parabolas

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2022-07-01 1:07:46 AM  
I made up a sick little joke today:
My great granduncle went to a prison camp.
Not because he was Jewish,
he just really loved camping.
 
2022-07-01 6:02:10 AM  
So the poor civilian casualty of a war he had no part in was desperately searching for food when he smelled something cooking. When they executed him his last words were "I was only following odors".
 
2022-07-01 8:46:49 AM  
Do you know why the riot cops show up so early whenever there's a peaceful demonstration?
- They want to beat the crowds!
 
2022-07-01 11:29:13 AM  
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:

"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."

The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million."

The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well you were wrong.

Hi Dan!"
 
2022-07-01 11:30:21 AM  
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this. Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location!'"
 
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