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(Eat This Not That)   "It's okay to be choosy when it comes to frozen patties," sponsored by the law firm of Pepperrmint, Hearst, and O'Lantern   (eatthis.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Nutrition, Hamburger, seasoned patties, g fat, Patty, frozen meat burger, mg of sodium, best option  
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620 clicks; posted to Food » on 29 Jun 2022 at 3:35 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-06-29 2:35:10 PM  
I'm safe from those - I would never buy a pre-seasoned, pre-cooked, or vegan burger patty.
 
2022-06-29 2:47:10 PM  
Who are these people who buy frozen patties?  By some ground beef, mix in seasonings of your choice, form the burgers, suck them down in the Food Saver vacuum thingy, AKA in our house, the sucky machine.
 
2022-06-29 2:49:56 PM  
"The quality of meat seems good considering it is grass-fed, but health-wise there are other grave issues to notice," Wood says. "Even when the burger has no added ingredients, it manages to have a severely unhealthy amount of high fat, cholesterol, and calories."

It's a f*cking frozen puck of ground beef, you idiot.  What did you expect?

I swear, that site is single-mindedly devoted to taking all the joy out of food.

/Also would never buy a frozen burger.  Jesus, it's not hard to make a hamburger from fresh, guys.
//85/15 ground beef is the way.
///Dammit, now I want a burger.  :(
 
2022-06-29 3:14:32 PM  
back in the day, this was never a concern. my father's sister raised (still does) her own cows. my mother's father ran a ginormous meatpacking plant.

fast forward coupla decades... frozen burgers? by the 2 or 4 or 6, seems stupid and pricey. but by the entire case at a bulk rate? sure, it's not great quality, but still perfectly fine for a company bbq or family backyard cookout or a boysprouts weekend trip or for my university cafeteria.

and yeah, veg.burgers, even the ones I enjoy, I do try to moderate. 'cos that is one metric fark-tonne of sodium.
 
2022-06-29 3:15:03 PM  
oh and +1 on the headline, Subs.
 
2022-06-29 3:53:04 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: "The quality of meat seems good considering it is grass-fed, but health-wise there are other grave issues to notice," Wood says. "Even when the burger has no added ingredients, it manages to have a severely unhealthy amount of high fat, cholesterol, and calories."

It's a f*cking frozen puck of ground beef, you idiot.  What did you expect?

I swear, that site is single-mindedly devoted to taking all the joy out of food.

/Also would never buy a frozen burger.  Jesus, it's not hard to make a hamburger from fresh, guys.
//85/15 ground beef is the way.
///Dammit, now I want a burger.  :(


Too fatty. You end up with greasy meatballs. I don't care how deep you concave them. And salt, cumin, and garlic powder are the only seasoning you need. If you think they're too dry, that's where the bun SLATHERED in MAYO comes in.

Frozen pucks are when it's a friend's BBQ and you don't give a fark because he's only got Miller lite so fark him.
 
2022-06-29 4:00:55 PM  
I have had two of these.

The ballpark ones are okay if you just want to make a super quick burger. They're pre-cooked and ready to eat after heating up in the microwave.  They are definitely salty. Think the day you're working from home but stuck in meetings from 10am to 2pm.  But the price per serving makes them not a good deal at all.

I bought the extra value things too.  Kind of on accident, i was in a hurry and thought it was a good deal, like 10 dollars a couple months ago for the box.  I didn't read the label and just chucked them in the cart.  They're those nasty half textured vegetable protein burger things (remember JTM burgers?)

Neither of the above would I ever think of serving to a guest.
 
2022-06-29 4:10:41 PM  

Subtonic: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The quality of meat seems good considering it is grass-fed, but health-wise there are other grave issues to notice," Wood says. "Even when the burger has no added ingredients, it manages to have a severely unhealthy amount of high fat, cholesterol, and calories."

It's a f*cking frozen puck of ground beef, you idiot.  What did you expect?

I swear, that site is single-mindedly devoted to taking all the joy out of food.

/Also would never buy a frozen burger.  Jesus, it's not hard to make a hamburger from fresh, guys.
//85/15 ground beef is the way.
///Dammit, now I want a burger.  :(

Too fatty. You end up with greasy meatballs. I don't care how deep you concave them. And salt, cumin, and garlic powder are the only seasoning you need. If you think they're too dry, that's where the bun SLATHERED in MAYO comes in.

Frozen pucks are when it's a friend's BBQ and you don't give a fark because he's only got Miller lite so fark him.


Yeah, OK, I get that - I got stuck with bring the burgers while everyone else brings chips and salad, so I'll buy a Costco box of patties and f*ck y'all, by the time they're done you'll be too polluted to care.  Your brats running around already don't care.
 
2022-06-29 4:35:50 PM  
having burgers tonite, so getting a kick......
 
2022-06-29 4:39:56 PM  

phedex: those nasty half textured vegetable protein burger things (remember JTM burgers?)


see now that's just a crime against humanity no matter how you splice it.
 
2022-06-29 5:24:25 PM  
Just happens that I'm having Costco 1/3 lb sirloin burgers for dinner.  As far as making my own and freezing them, my wife and I have very different ideas about what goes on a burger and I don't feel like making two batches.
 
zez
2022-06-29 6:06:44 PM  
I like how at the beginning of the article it states (who wants to spend hours doing food prep in hot temperatures?) but then says, "Instead, make your own tasty patties at home using organic lean ground beef and fresh herbs and spices." after most of the examples.
 
2022-06-29 8:17:56 PM  

natazha: Just happens that I'm having Costco 1/3 lb sirloin burgers for dinner.  As far as making my own and freezing them, my wife and I have very different ideas about what goes on a burger and I don't feel like making two batches.


1/3 lbs. sounds a little meek. You should step to 1/4 pounders.
 
2022-06-29 8:25:41 PM  
I used to keep a bag of frozen burgers for when a cheeseburger sounded great at 0200 and I didn't want to drive. I've been thinking about that again actually . But it's gonna be 93/ 7
 
2022-06-29 8:43:33 PM  

alienated: I used to keep a bag of frozen burgers for when a cheeseburger sounded great at 0200 and I didn't want to drive. I've been thinking about that again actually . But it's gonna be 93/ 7


"Bag of frozen burgers"...

That may be the saddest phrase I heard all day. It should come with a washed out gray tagline announcing "They're Edible!" or "This is your life now!"  At least spring for some more exotic fare like frozen breaded cod strips or a hungryman dinner.

*takes a long hard look in the mirror*
 
2022-06-29 9:26:51 PM  

Subtonic: alienated: I used to keep a bag of frozen burgers for when a cheeseburger sounded great at 0200 and I didn't want to drive. I've been thinking about that again actually . But it's gonna be 93/ 7

"Bag of frozen burgers"...

That may be the saddest phrase I heard all day. It should come with a washed out gray tagline announcing "They're Edible!" or "This is your life now!"  At least spring for some more exotic fare like frozen breaded cod strips or a hungryman dinner.

*takes a long hard look in the mirror*


I gave you that funny , but seriously- I dont like to waste food, especially if it died to feed me. I was working , sometimes , 12-13 hour days , with a six hour turnaround , for 6 days a week.  I  recently did that for Mothers Day. Very sore, very tired, needing calories. I could buy a pack of ground Bison or grass fed Beef, but honestly ? I was too much wasted from work  a lot of the time to even form a burger , much less cook it. And that pack would sit and spoil, and nobody wins.
 
2022-06-29 10:37:33 PM  
Look at the freezer with the frozen patties. Now look behind you. See the person behind the meat counter with the large cleaver? That's a butcher. Tell them what you want. Better yet, get out of the supermarket and find an independent butcher shop.
 
2022-06-30 12:00:20 AM  

zez: I like how at the beginning of the article it states (who wants to spend hours doing food prep in hot temperatures?) but then says, "Instead, make your own tasty patties at home using organic lean ground beef and fresh herbs and spices." after most of the examples.


Came to say this.

"Eat this, not that" is constantly recommending so-called alternatives that are far too dissimilar to the item being replaced.

At least they've improved from the days they would literally say things like, "Instead of that slice of chocolate cake, have a salad with some candied pecans to satisfy your sweet tooth."
 
2022-06-30 1:53:53 AM  

cwheelie: having burgers tonite, so getting a kick......


I made Kenji's version of smash burgers tonight for us and 40% of the grandsons, 2x2 oz. patties of 80/20.  They were a huge hit.
 
2022-06-30 6:26:49 AM  
#8
INGREDIENTS
beef, beef heart, water, textured vegetable protein (soy flour), soy protein concentrate, seasoning (salt, maltodextrin, sugar, disodium inosinate, disodium guanylate, flavorings, extractives of turmeric).

They didn't notice these ingredients? I bought them  once and they are truly nasty. I like beef heart but wow. Even making chili and hamburger helper type casserole didn't mask the flavor and texture and some studies say that soy protein stuff isn't healthy. But they were about 1/3 cheaper then the cheapest regular beef hamburger.
 
2022-06-30 7:20:16 AM  
Local butcher offers 1/4 lb and 1/3 lb box of burgers. Its nice and convenient, plus tastes alot better than the offerings mentioned in the article.
 
2022-06-30 8:33:58 AM  

Subtonic: natazha: Just happens that I'm having Costco 1/3 lb sirloin burgers for dinner.  As far as making my own and freezing them, my wife and I have very different ideas about what goes on a burger and I don't feel like making two batches.

1/3 lbs. sounds a little meek. You should step to 1/4 pounders.


sir, this isn't an Arbys
 
2022-06-30 12:08:06 PM  

Subtonic: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The quality of meat seems good considering it is grass-fed, but health-wise there are other grave issues to notice," Wood says. "Even when the burger has no added ingredients, it manages to have a severely unhealthy amount of high fat, cholesterol, and calories."

It's a f*cking frozen puck of ground beef, you idiot.  What did you expect?

I swear, that site is single-mindedly devoted to taking all the joy out of food.

/Also would never buy a frozen burger.  Jesus, it's not hard to make a hamburger from fresh, guys.
//85/15 ground beef is the way.
///Dammit, now I want a burger.  :(

Too fatty. You end up with greasy meatballs. I don't care how deep you concave them. And salt, cumin, and garlic powder are the only seasoning you need. If you think they're too dry, that's where the bun SLATHERED in MAYO comes in.

Frozen pucks are when it's a friend's BBQ and you don't give a fark because he's only got Miller lite so fark him.


Too fatty?? I'm pretty devoted to 80/20. And I don't understand the meatball/concaving thing. You should take the ground beef and handle it as little as possible. Make it into large, thin patties with as little pressure as needed to hold together. Salt and pepper is the only seasoning I use typically, but if I'm going for some particular theme, I'll use others. Seared in cast iron is my preferred cooking method, but grilled over flame is good from time to time.
 
2022-06-30 1:27:25 PM  

offacue: Who are these people who buy frozen patties?  By some ground beef, mix in seasonings of your choice, form the burgers, suck them down in the Food Saver vacuum thingy, AKA in our house, the sucky machine.


They're good for large gatherings. Like when I used to grill up a few hundred plus and sausages for a dorm picnic once a year on two 6' grills over the course of a few hours.

You don't want to be hand-prepping that many.

You buy a couple cases of frozen patties and defrost them a day before and then make them assembly line style.
 
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