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(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)   Fappuccino   (fox13news.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Kissimmee, Florida, Greater Orlando, Police, Florida, Coroner, Osceola County, Florida, Osceola County Sheriff's Office, Special Victims Unit  
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4226 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2022 at 2:20 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



58 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-06-28 9:14:22 PM  
a man who had exposed himself while masturbating on the patio of the Starbucks

Well how are you supposed to masturbate on the patio of the Starbucks without exposing yourself?
 
2022-06-28 9:27:57 PM  
That's not what Jesus would do.
 
2022-06-28 9:46:51 PM  
PASTOR Fapachino!

Putting the caramel in the macchiato for The Lord.
 
2022-06-28 10:30:45 PM  
who reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past.

He must really love Starbucks
 
2022-06-28 11:58:34 PM  
Detectives identified the person as Enginio Dali Muniz-Colon, who reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past.

they must have super fast wifi
 
2022-06-29 1:02:45 AM  
Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?
 
2022-06-29 1:36:05 AM  

Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?


That wasn't cream in your coffee.

/Not dairy, at least
 
2022-06-29 2:21:19 AM  
Gitmo.

Problem solved.
 
2022-06-29 2:22:53 AM  

Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?


It was a die hard 3 situation.  The bad guy made him do it or he would blow up a school.  This pastor is the hero.
 
2022-06-29 2:26:43 AM  
Hot Latte with full release....
 
2022-06-29 2:27:17 AM  
He needs one of these.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 2:34:28 AM  
i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 2:36:57 AM  
Florida pastor Muniz-Colon exposes self in Kissimmee

...must...not...giggle....
 
2022-06-29 2:43:56 AM  
If pastors are there to be an example and lead their congregation, that *$ is now a hazmat site.
 
2022-06-29 2:47:48 AM  
Thanks SCOTUS.
 
2022-06-29 2:48:23 AM  
How can a headline contain the word "fappuccino" yet not be about a disgruntled barista making a Yelper special out of some Karen's triple-chocolate-pumpkin-spice-iced-soy-mocha-latte?
 
2022-06-29 2:49:21 AM  
Detectives said Muniz-Colon is a pastor in Kissimmee

He wasn't masturbating.

It was just an altercation with the Bishop.

/or maybe a dolphin
 
2022-06-29 2:50:07 AM  

MrBallou: who reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past.

He must really love Starbucks


He often came there
 
2022-06-29 2:52:59 AM  

Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 2:53:20 AM  
yt pppppllllll

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 2:55:42 AM  
This is what happens when you close your restrooms, Starbucks. You asked for this.
 
2022-06-29 3:02:56 AM  
a pastor? No! Surely not!

I'm starting to think that the overlap in the great Venn diagram of people and sex pests and predators, "preachers" is an over-represented grope group
 
2022-06-29 3:03:15 AM  
Whitest Kids U' Know: Nail Gun
Youtube 0h-j4qFR3wg
 
2022-06-29 3:06:23 AM  

Mugato: a man who had exposed himself while masturbating on the patio of the Starbucks

Well how are you supposed to masturbate on the patio of the Starbucks without exposing yourself?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 3:07:04 AM  
If they had decent public transportation he could masturbate on a train or bus, like a normal person.
 
2022-06-29 3:10:31 AM  
Pastor Bater.
 
2022-06-29 3:21:36 AM  
[He] reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past

Maybe he was just trying to complete a loyalty card.
 
2022-06-29 3:39:40 AM  
He is risen.
 
2022-06-29 4:02:29 AM  
Maybe he was confused by the sign.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 4:07:34 AM  

MrBallou: who reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past.

He must really love Starbucks


I'll have what he's having.
 
2022-06-29 4:15:31 AM  

MrBallou: who reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past.

He must really love Starbucks


It's not really love...more of just a temporary physical infatuation....
 
2022-06-29 4:51:39 AM  

Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?


Someone was using black magic to compel him to fap against his will.
 
2022-06-29 4:52:09 AM  
Yet more evidence that all Christian preachers are sex offenders. Some just haven't been caught, yet.
 
2022-06-29 5:03:04 AM  
He was there to scare off the drag queens from grooming kids or something.
 
2022-06-29 5:34:43 AM  

LewDux: MrBallou: who reportedly had similar charges that occurred at the same location in the past.

He must really love Starbucks

He often came there


charges, not discharges
 
2022-06-29 5:42:27 AM  

bughunter: Detectives said Muniz-Colon is a pastor in Kissimmee

He wasn't masturbating.

It was just an altercation with the Bishop.

/or maybe a dolphin


Bishop Thomas. Bishop John Thomas.
 
2022-06-29 5:54:27 AM  

Mugato: a man who had exposed himself while masturbating on the patio of the Starbucks

Well how are you supposed to masturbate on the patio of the Starbucks without exposing yourself?


Extreme pocket pool.
 
2022-06-29 6:00:58 AM  
That milk is pastorized
 
2022-06-29 6:01:21 AM  

alechemist: Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?

Someone was using black magic to compel him to fap against his will.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 6:04:38 AM  

alechemist: Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?

Someone was using black magic to compel him to fap against his will.


I started to make a joke about this being why Christians feel the need to dominate and control women, but it's just too true to be funny
 
2022-06-29 6:10:23 AM  

Thaciscokidd: alechemist: Sawdust and Mildew: Anyone with information related to this case or any other similar incidents is asked to call the sheriff's office.

What possible plot twist can there be?

Someone was using black magic to compel him to fap against his will.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-29 6:50:36 AM  
He needs reading glasses, he thought the Bible said ... if thy hand is the problem, beat it off
 
2022-06-29 6:57:36 AM  
He was on a special mission from Ron DeSatan. Looking for all the pedophiles, groomers, and gay people that Disney is hiding behind their walls.
 
2022-06-29 7:11:59 AM  
Give the guy a break.  He just wanted a little extra cream.

Under Rep Q*bert's plan for America, this type of activity will be required.
 
2022-06-29 7:12:05 AM  

Mugato: a man who had exposed himself while masturbating on the patio of the Starbucks

Well how are you supposed to masturbate on the patio of the Starbucks without exposing yourself?


Have a hole in your pocket.
 
2022-06-29 7:13:08 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: Gitmo.

Problem solved.


What problem have you solved by writing a made up word?
 
2022-06-29 7:19:41 AM  

Mugato: a man who had exposed himself while masturbating on the patio of the Starbucks

Well how are you supposed to masturbate on the patio of the Starbucks without exposing yourself?


I see you haven't been to New York City.
 
2022-06-29 7:29:36 AM  
So many jokes to be made.  First thing in my head was Kissimmee Colon.

It's early.
 
2022-06-29 7:38:44 AM  
How to Pronounce Frappuccino
Youtube BHTxzn4YL6o
 
2022-06-29 8:50:55 AM  

aagrajag: How can a headline contain the word "fappuccino" yet not be about a disgruntled barista making a Yelper special out of some Karen's triple-chocolate-pumpkin-spice-iced-soy-mocha-latte?


Bc neither were masterbating?
 
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