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(Lifehacker)   "Tomato ranch," I whispered to the dog. Then we put it on a wedge salad   ( divider line
    More: Creepy, Tomato, Salad, Bacon, Lettuce, Mayonnaise, Teaspoon, French fries, ranch dressing  
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591 clicks; posted to Food » on 28 Jun 2022 at 5:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

15 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2022-06-28 2:48:07 PM  
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2022-06-28 5:00:25 PM  
The only spot for the ranch dressing was next to the tomato paste. That's when inspiration struck: "Ram ranch," I hummed to the dog. "I gotta make that tomorrow." I watched the video on my phone and went to bed.

Altered for my own amusement.
2022-06-28 5:49:28 PM  
On top of the mayo-based cooking tips, I so love how Clare takes us in a little journeys, snapshots of her life, through her writing.

But I gotta ask the farker who's stalking her on lifehacker to out themselves.
2022-06-28 5:51:37 PM  
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2022-06-28 6:37:38 PM  
Warm and sticky flavor, like a hot summer night?

Sounds spunky.
2022-06-28 6:47:31 PM  
2022-06-28 7:38:33 PM  
Eh, it's paste, not ketchup. You're probably already eating tomato on your average salad. The details aren't as horrifying as the concept sounds.
2022-06-28 7:42:08 PM  
I mean, you could do that. But in a world where ranch taco sauce already exists I don't know why you'd want to. This stuff goes great on everything.

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Every. Thing.
2022-06-28 7:55:37 PM  
It has a warm and sticky flavor

Ew. No. For one thing, warm and sticky isn't a flavor, and b) even if it was there's only one thing that I want to put in my mouth that tastes warm and sticky.

no, not that, you pervs
a cinnamon bun
2022-06-28 8:49:52 PM  
a wedge salad just lets me know you didn't really want to take the time to make me a proper salad

/i can accept cut lettuce
//but it should be torn
///if you are going to cut it, i am going to request cuts smaller than a quarter head of lettuce (there are no salad knives)
2022-06-28 8:50:55 PM  
You shouldn't lie to a child like that. Telling them you're sending the dog off to live on tomato ranch is just cruel.
2022-06-28 9:17:57 PM  

BunkyBrewman: [Fark user image 850x850]

can't be any worse than
2022-06-28 9:52:38 PM  
Why not just cut ranch with thousand island.
jbc [TotalFark]
2022-06-28 10:02:16 PM  

ecl: Why not just cut ranch with thousand island.

Because that's too complicated for the dog to understand?
2022-06-28 11:41:53 PM  

/long stop isn't that long
//seriously. Claire needs to FOAD
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