Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   CNN is apparently growing concerned about the lack of airplane disaster stories to cover, decides to publish article telling passengers how to locate all the secret areas on airplanes they're not supposed to access   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Boeing 787, Airbus A350, long flights, Competition between Airbus and Boeing, crew rest areas, cabin crew, Airbus A330, secret areas  
•       •       •

2506 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jun 2022 at 10:20 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-06-28 10:07:10 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 10:24:37 AM  
Oh yes because people being aware that the crew have private bunks will cause airplanes to crash.
 
2022-06-28 10:25:08 AM  
Oh good, this will be helpful of people who want to cause air disasters by acting like drooling anti-vax fanatics and attacking the flight attendants.  I hope they give up some secrets about how to break through a cardboard door to the flight deck, then we can see some real freedumb fighters.
 
2022-06-28 10:25:37 AM  

Farking Clown Shoes: [Fark user image image 634x357]

[Fark user image image 500x272]


Do they fix the cable?

/Or at least uncensor the R-rated movies?
 
2022-06-28 10:27:50 AM  
I know how to unlock airplane bathrooms from the outside.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 10:29:01 AM  
Tonight on the Late, Late Show: "The Snoring He-Beast at 35,000 Feet!"
/ It'd be an echo chamber in there
 
2022-06-28 10:33:21 AM  

KangTheMad: Oh yes because people being aware that the crew have private bunks will cause airplanes to crash.


Hey now, CNN is allowed to dream.
 
2022-06-28 10:33:26 AM  
interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214
 
2022-06-28 10:43:22 AM  
Does that include the flight attendants' genitals?
 
2022-06-28 10:43:29 AM  

jimpapa: interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214


Having read that article I now doubt the existence of the 737 Max.   It's so poorly (and sensationally) written it's hard to figure out the actual facts.  I see reference to one pitch-over event, which is one too many, but there's also a grab bag of engine issues, APU issues, nav issues, and the like.  Given how many Max's are in service and that it's still a relatively new aircraft class, plus the fact that many of those jets sat dormant on the ground for extended periods, I'm not surprised that there's a mixed bag of gremlins making their way out now.  But most all of the ones described don't call the MCAS fix into question.  There is that one, however, and again one is too many.  If MCAS isn't fixed they should ground them all again.
 
2022-06-28 10:44:30 AM  

jimpapa: interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214


Oh, I've never thought that.  At best, they've packaged the "don't crash" software package into the base model and increased the price.  I mean, if companies are paying for a plane that stays in the air, they gotta pay for it to stay in the air, right?
 
2022-06-28 10:44:40 AM  
Sleeping Compartments on Planes Spell Doom for Democrats

by Chris Cillizza
 
2022-06-28 10:44:40 AM  
How about sit down, shut up, and keep your f*cking feet off my armrests?

Actually, I don't really care how people act on planes - I'd rather do a 12+ hour road trip than get on a plane.
 
2022-06-28 10:53:29 AM  
I was on a plane once and there was this door that I'd never seen on a plane before, so I opened it and it led to this cold, dark, extradimensional place.  It was the Plane of Leaves.
 
2022-06-28 10:53:32 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."
 
2022-06-28 10:55:39 AM  
I'm surprised they haven't added built in detention centers on planes nowadays.

"Any man kicks the back of another man's seat, spends a night in the box"
 
2022-06-28 10:58:55 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."


This is not the time for a Choose Your Own Adventure story.
"You find the button that says LANDING GEAR DOWN.
If you press it, go to page 34.
If you leave it alone, go to page 87."
 
2022-06-28 11:14:39 AM  

doctorguilty: Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."

This is not the time for a Choose Your Own Adventure story.
"You find the button that says LANDING GEAR DOWN.
If you press it, go to page 34.
If you leave it alone, go to page 87."


Bonus points if the book is only 86 pages long...
 
2022-06-28 11:18:02 AM  
Pictured here: CNN

We'll see what happens after the break!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 11:34:34 AM  
I think it's reassuring that they have the ability to rest comfortably and don't have to finish the flight as grumpy and irrational as I do.
 
2022-06-28 11:38:09 AM  
Hey subby, you may be interested in this crazy new website. All kinds of dangerous and forbidden knowledge! Your employer might even have blocked it already!!!!

media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 11:44:58 AM  

Warthog: jimpapa: interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214

Having read that article I now doubt the existence of the 737 Max.   It's so poorly (and sensationally) written it's hard to figure out the actual facts.  I see reference to one pitch-over event, which is one too many, but there's also a grab bag of engine issues, APU issues, nav issues, and the like.  Given how many Max's are in service and that it's still a relatively new aircraft class, plus the fact that many of those jets sat dormant on the ground for extended periods, I'm not surprised that there's a mixed bag of gremlins making their way out now.  But most all of the ones described don't call the MCAS fix into question.  There is that one, however, and again one is too many.  If MCAS isn't fixed they should ground them all again.


The thing about MCAS is that now that it's known about by pilots it's much less of an issue. The pilots on the 737 have always had a procedure for overriding the autopilot in the case of a tab-trim runaway event. It makes the plane harder to fly because it removes the electrical assist of the jack screw, but it was used for decades before MCAS without issue. It's like the Norwegian airline crash from engine surge that took out both engines, the reason that the surge got bad enough to kill the engines was that the jet had a system that automatically restored power if the pilot pulled it back during a certain phase of flight. That feature was added because US pilots had a habit of pulling back power during takeoff from certain airports to avoid noise complaints, the software "fix" was added to the software starting with a certain serial number but that info was never passed onto the Norwegian airline. The pilot properly pulled back the throttles when the engines started to surge, unaware that he needed to maintain manual control of them to keep the reduced throttle setting, his training and their flight manuals didn't include this information because the automation update had never been passed along. The pilot managed to save everyone on board by crashing into an open field, but never flew again because his confidence was completely shattered despite it coming out a few years later that he had done everything right.
 
2022-06-28 11:47:04 AM  

Farking Clown Shoes: [Fark user image 634x357]

[Fark user image 500x272] [View Full Size image _x_]


I like that I came in here with this photo of three attractive, barefoot Flight Attendants on my clipboard and found it to be the very first thing referenced from the article.

Never change, Fark.
 
2022-06-28 11:53:54 AM  

doctorguilty: Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."

This is not the time for a Choose Your Own Adventure story.
"You find the button that says LANDING GEAR DOWN.
If you press it, go to page 34.
If you leave it alone, go to page 87."


Funny enough, that was basically the state of airline checklists in the 1980s. After a series of crashes where pilots were blamed NASA got involved and they had human factors specialists go through the training, dash layout, and abnormal checklist procedures and found that they were all over the place (each airline drew up their own) but universally bad from a human factors perspective. They ended up helping the manufacturers and airlines completely redesign their checklists so that things were grouped in chronological order with groupings that were easy to get through in the time typically given to the pilot monitoring (Air Traffic Control interruptions are very frequent during an emergency out of necessity but they tend to break the flow of reading through checklists) and where you could easily go back and restart a block if you were interrupted while performing the checklist. Along with Crew Resource Management it's one of the two biggest pieces of why airliners are by far the safest means of transportation (much safer per million miles than walking even).
 
2022-06-28 11:55:43 AM  
On the double decker PanAm propeller clippers, I wasn't allowed on the deck with the pool table.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 12:02:57 PM  

jimpapa: interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214


why are the heads of Boing not in jail?
 
2022-06-28 12:24:12 PM  

cocozilla: jimpapa: interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214

why are the heads of Boing not in jail?


That's a rhetorical question, right?
 
2022-06-28 12:30:17 PM  

Somaticasual: doctorguilty: Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."

This is not the time for a Choose Your Own Adventure story.
"You find the button that says LANDING GEAR DOWN.
If you press it, go to page 34.
If you leave it alone, go to page 87."

Bonus points if the book is only 86 pages long...


Sort of. The following pages are pages 1-86 in French.
 
2022-06-28 12:31:55 PM  

cocozilla: jimpapa: interesting read for those who think they corrected the computer problems on the 737 MAX
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-27/boeing-737-max-in-mid-air-emergencies-as-us-set-to-launch-probe/101175214

why are the heads of Boing not in jail?


Better that their heads be put on pikes along the entrance to Everett Field to serve as a warning for the next 10 generations of Boeing employees that saving the bottom line comes with too high a price?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 12:38:55 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."


So last month I was on a regional jet, waiting to push off the gate.  I'd been upgraded, and from my seat (1A) I could hear about half of what the pilots were saying.  Normally, the pilot sits on the left, and the first officer sits on the right.  But that morning, I swear the guy in the right seat was teaching the guy in the left seat how to fly the plane.  Which screens to check for which messages.  What speeds to reach at which points in flight.  How the jet did certain things as compared to the Airbus.  It was bewildering, to the point that I asked the flight attendant whether the guy in the right seat was giving the guy in the left seat a check ride or something.   Sure enough, the right seater was not only a captain but an instructor, and the guy in the left seat was a fully qualified first officer from a bigger jet looking to qualify as a captain on the regional jet (I assume because the pay and routings are better).

But still, close the cockpit door for that shiat guys.
 
2022-06-28 1:07:08 PM  

wage0048: How about sit down, shut up, and keep your f*cking feet off my armrests?

Actually, I don't really care how people act on planes - I'd rather do a 12+ hour road trip than get on a plane.


imagesvc.meredithcorp.ioView Full Size
 
2022-06-28 1:16:04 PM  

Warthog: Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."

So last month I was on a regional jet, waiting to push off the gate.  I'd been upgraded, and from my seat (1A) I could hear about half of what the pilots were saying.  Normally, the pilot sits on the left, and the first officer sits on the right.  But that morning, I swear the guy in the right seat was teaching the guy in the left seat how to fly the plane.  Which screens to check for which messages.  What speeds to reach at which points in flight.  How the jet did certain things as compared to the Airbus.  It was bewildering, to the point that I asked the flight attendant whether the guy in the right seat was giving the guy in the left seat a check ride or something.   Sure enough, the right seater was not only a captain but an instructor, and the guy in the left seat was a fully qualified first officer from a bigger jet looking to qualify as a captain on the regional jet (I assume because the pay and routings are better).

But still, close the cockpit door for that shiat guys.


Both of the guys sitting in those seats are fully qualified on that type aircraft. However, lefty may have just gotten out of his simulator / type training phase and there are differences between what a left guy sees and the right guy sees on the panels. Also, it may have been leftys first time out of that field. Sounds like a well-trained crew to me. My Dad used to do this all the time for the airlines (FAA). It was considered to be a thing to have one completely filled flight type certification card on you.........my Dad had three! I still keep them.
 
2022-06-28 2:01:22 PM  

Warthog: Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."

So last month I was on a regional jet, waiting to push off the gate.  I'd been upgraded, and from my seat (1A) I could hear about half of what the pilots were saying.  Normally, the pilot sits on the left, and the first officer sits on the right.  But that morning, I swear the guy in the right seat was teaching the guy in the left seat how to fly the plane.  Which screens to check for which messages.  What speeds to reach at which points in flight.  How the jet did certain things as compared to the Airbus.  It was bewildering, to the point that I asked the flight attendant whether the guy in the right seat was giving the guy in the left seat a check ride or something.   Sure enough, the right seater was not only a captain but an instructor, and the guy in the left seat was a fully qualified first officer from a bigger jet looking to qualify as a captain on the regional jet (I assume because the pay and routings are better).

But still, close the cockpit door for that shiat guys.


Every pilot has their first ever flight with paying passengers at some point....
 
2022-06-28 2:57:15 PM  

95629: Warthog: Harry Freakstorm: [Fark user image image 609x340]"How...to...land...a... pl-a-n-e.  Should be interesting.   I've seen that control.  That gauge looks familiar.  Hmmm....   story continues on page 34?  Fark it."

So last month I was on a regional jet, waiting to push off the gate.  I'd been upgraded, and from my seat (1A) I could hear about half of what the pilots were saying.  Normally, the pilot sits on the left, and the first officer sits on the right.  But that morning, I swear the guy in the right seat was teaching the guy in the left seat how to fly the plane.  Which screens to check for which messages.  What speeds to reach at which points in flight.  How the jet did certain things as compared to the Airbus.  It was bewildering, to the point that I asked the flight attendant whether the guy in the right seat was giving the guy in the left seat a check ride or something.   Sure enough, the right seater was not only a captain but an instructor, and the guy in the left seat was a fully qualified first officer from a bigger jet looking to qualify as a captain on the regional jet (I assume because the pay and routings are better).

But still, close the cockpit door for that shiat guys.

Every pilot has their first ever flight with paying passengers at some point....


Oh, I totally understand this.  My brother flies for one of the majors, and was a FO on three different aircraft types before becoming a Captain in the fourth type.  They need to do this.  But they can shut the door and keep their learning business private.
 
2022-06-28 10:04:27 PM  
Letting people know about these rooms is the airline's answer to falling profits. They plan to start selling "Mile High Club" tickets. $5k per person for the attendant's room, 1 bunk per 2 people. Or $10k per for pilot's room.
 
2022-06-29 1:09:59 AM  
"there might be sleepless nights behind you -- for example I have trouble sleeping in Asia.."

Wtf?
 
Displayed 36 of 36 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.